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SD's last day..... Friday!!!

Posted by imamommy (imamommy21@yahoo.com) on
Thu, Feb 23, 12 at 18:51

No, she is not going to live with her mom... though her mom made DH an offer that DH (and SD) refused. haha.

Yes, it is SD's last day at this school. Starting next week, she will not be riding with me... stonefaced & unpleasant, every morning. She will not stand next to my truck, shifting foot to foot until I am ready to leave... then pretends to be asleep as soon as I get in the truck (literally, I timed her once & I had been in the truck for less than 30 seconds & she was "sleeping") as a way to avoid me. No, she will ride the bus from our house in the morning & ride home in the afternoon. She is NOT happy about it... but, then again... in the last two weeks, she has gotten detention twice and currently has several D's in her academic classes. She is passing her elective. she is so proud of her B... in her elective.

Oh, the offer that her mom made....

SD went to BM crying that she didn't want to leave this school and all her friends. She is going back to a school that she went to 3-5 grades so she will know people... they just know her for the things she did when she was there.. bullying, lying, stealing and failing in her classes. Anyway, BM had a solution. She wants DH to put SD in school where BM lives... she wants to put her back in the 6th grade to finish this year, then let her start 7th grade there next year. In essence, she wants DH to hand over custody and put SD back a grade because she is about to finish 7th grade & go into 8th. SD was not on board with that plan, she can't wait to get to high school. (and she looks like she is in high school, so it's likely the other school is not going to put a 13 year old back in 6th grade right now & go along with BM's plan) but that doesn't matter because DH said no because SD said no way. All I had to say about it is, that if SD goes to live with mom, she is not coming back here when mom get's fed up with her. If she gets to mom's & realizes it's not what she thought it would be and wants to come back & get her life in a better place, that's a different story but I know that when BM lived near here, she would have SD for a few days & she'd be calling DH to come get his daughter because she couldn't control her and was frustrated. That was when SD was 5-6 and not an angry, resentful 13 year old she is now.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: SD's last day..... Friday!!!

I hope this change in school works for SD. Maybe it's been long enough since she's been there that the kids who knew her then will kinda forget.

Enjoy your peaceful drives to and from work :)

Totally agree with your stance on the BM deal/solution (?), if she goes back to BM she stays at BM's.

I know SD goes to BM's in the summer, but I wonder of it could be worked out that SD could attend summer school this summer instead? Not only might it help catch up her grades, but I'm thinking if she goes to BM's for the summer you'll get the kid from h*ll back in the fall (worse than it is now).


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RE: SD's last day..... Friday!!!

Unfortunately, there is no keeping her from going to BM in the summer. I've suggested it in the past & even tried to get her involved in baseball here so she'd want to stay here. It's true, every year that she comes back at the end of summer, it's worse than the year before. This year when she was about to come back... I started having anxiety attacks and started going to therapy & taking medication to deal with her coming back.

But for now, I am going to relish in my alone time... driving to & from work.... and during the summer when she's not here. One day at a time... only 1858 days 6 hours & 59 minutes....


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RE: SD's last day..... Friday!!!

I opened thinking last day NO WAY!... figured you had thrown both of them out on their ears :) ... but I think this is even better than that ... you win and she gets to be "independant" :) ....

I haven't given his kids a ride anywhere in a very long time ... they don't even ask anymore my response was you have 2 parents ask one of them so they gave up

It must have been weird yesterday and a little tense I am sure whole new world for princess ....

enjoy your "free" time!

p.s. I have 1749 days left!


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RE: SD's last day..... Friday!!!

"I am sure whole new world for princess ...."

HaHa... princess is right!

She knocks on our bedroom door this morning & tells DH "You NEED to give me $15 for PE clothes!" My God, it sounded like BM. I talked to the school & they said she needs to wear the school colors but she does not HAVE to buy theirs. I'm pretty sure I already bought some when she was there before...

She is throwing up lots of attitude and in revenge mode. DH is in over his head & throwing them both out on their ears has been a passing thought. I love him & he's got so many great qualities, but dang.... he is really an awful parent and she is a BRAT! She's gonna be 13... she's been marking off her calendar since she was 6, for the day she will become a teenager. I guess she thinks it's a magical thing and it's less than a month away. Like I said, I'm taking it ONE day at a time... but this week has been good so far. She is demanding he buy this & buy that... he came home with a new backpack yesterday... BM called him on Sunday to ask/demand that he buy her that. I think it's a little funny because he's such a cheap ass and I have always been the one to run to the store when she needs something but she doesn't need these things, she is demanding them to punish for sending her back to the old school.


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RE: SD's last day..... Friday!!!

Poor you. I know what it's like to deal with kids who turn into angry, messy monsters after a stretch at the BM's house.

You shouldn't ever put up with a rude child who's getting a free ride in your car. It doesn't matter whether the child is a stepchild or a biological child. Every child needs to learn how to behave in society. There is a great book about this problem called "Backtalk". It recommends that you drive a rude child right home and explain nicely that you will resume the transportation as soon as the child can behave pleasantly. A few days of missed school and activities are nothing compared to a lifetime of failure at work and home because of a lack of basic manners (not to mention the poison atmosphere caused by a rude child).


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RE: SD's last day..... Friday!!!

lol go ahead and explain to shchool you are trying to teach your kid a life lesson they will have cps at your house quicker than you can say life lesson!!

I say let them carry the burden of parenting their precious children it's an eyeopener for them.


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RE: SD's last day..... Friday!!!

Oh psuedo... don't get me started on schools! We tried to have them hold SD back because she was failing in every class and saying she didn't get it. My philosophy was that if she doesn't get it, then repeating 6th grade might help her understand it better. The school was adamantly against holding her back. Even though she tested "above average" and I believed the problem was her lack of effort, they placed her in a class for "underachievers" so she could get caught up. She continued to get D's & F's in that class, which basically hold the student's hand & do assignments in class with help as opposed to bringing it home as homework to do on her own. When I switched her back to our school of residence, she protested & told me that she IS doing better... she has C's & D's, no F's. At the end of the grading period, she had 64% & 65% in two of her clases. We got her report card & those teachers gave her C's. Maybe it's just me, but I thought anything in the 60's is a D? But, they have no child left behind... not even if they want and try to be left behind.


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