" I am trying to convinced husband to get a solid structure gate at the end of the driveway, but he thinks that will spark more curiosity, not deter it. Any thoughts on that?" We have a farm property that was in a similar situation. Teenagers throwing parties and using it for a "romantic spot". Deer hunters just doing whatever they felt like even trying to put up permanent tree stands in the woods. People fishing out of the pond and weirdos coming out and parking behind the barn out of sight doing god knows what all day. We put carpet tack strips across the drive, huge piles of logs and sticks, etc. It still didn't stop them from driving back. We found out that to most people property rights mean very little. They will do whatever they want if there is not something to put an active stop to it. Our neighbor across the street used to catch them all the time and call us. Sometimes, these people would show up 5 minutes after we left! Who knows where they all came from. Anyway, we finally decided to put a homemade gate across the gravel drive. It was cheap to build and when painted didn't look too bad. Stopped the driving traffic 100%. They still tried to park in the neighboring lot and walk across for hunting, but another family built a house on the other side and he goes out to make a ruckus when he thinks hunters are trying to get out there so it's no use even trying to get a deer. If you can't be out there right away, I wouldn't hesitate to put up a gate. It will help a lot. Especially if it's right on the road where if they stop their car will be visible to everyone driving by.

Hi, there Is there any history here that we don't know about? Have there been bad feelings in the past? Does DH feel hurt in some way by your kids? When my SS or SD drop by to see their father, I don't volunteer my presence, and I stay in my room and read or watch tv until they indicate that they want to see me. No bad feelings, it's just that realistically, they are not there to see me. They are there to see their father, and they let me know that from the beginning. They want to have a visit and a discussion with him and it doesn't concern me. I am not sullen, but in the past, I have felt hurt. Maybe what you think is sullen is actually feeling hurt or left out. There have been times that my SK or my DH have asked for privacy. At first it was a shock, but I just understand that they want to talk privately. Usually they stick their heads in to tell me goodbye before they leave--my SS has recently actually come in to visit with me before he leaves. My SD usually plans her visits so that I am at work. No matter what, the reason that I appear anti-social is that I know I am not really wanted or included. I would like nothing more than to be part of the group, but I am a quick learner. If this happened from the beginning, then I am guessing that it's a matter of not feeling like part of the group. It seems like a good idea for your kids to gently initiate some interaction with him. Counselling it not a bad idea, but I know how I feel under these circumstances, and maybe it's just not rocket science / brain surgery. : )

First of all, I agree that what I did over facebook wasn't the best of ideas and could have been done a lot better, but one cannot always make the best of decisions when stressed. I did what I did and it can't be changed. However, the issue of His daughter dating the older man, One she was underage, two she was living with us at the time and it wasn't acceptable or appropriate for her to be with a 37 year old when she was 16, three, her father had the right to know what she was doing and it was my responsibility to tell him. I ask you this question, how would my relationship with my husband been hurt if he found out later that I knew and didn't tell him? Also who would have been held responsible if it actually came to attention to the authorities? The man? Well yes, but also the party who is in the role of guardian (me) who had the responsibility to let her father know what was going on under his nose. If I had never found out and she had managed not to get caught in the act by me, I never would have felt the responsibility to let her father know. It isn't as simple as "Tattling" when she is breaking the rules of the household and breaking the law, and I do understand why she reacted the way she did. I however don't have to like it or take it... I really don't care what she does with her life. Now that she is not underage and not living in the house, it doesn't matter. As for my mother, I am not excusing or condoning her behavior, she can be pretty mean, I will not defend her actions, I was just stating what happened. Why I sent the email, I felt obligated to try to resolve it personally before anything else. I guess I can't easily let go of an insult. It's a failing of mine. Why I finally blew it up on Facebook was a combination of resentment and frustration for how they were acting and my husband's lack of ability to stand up to them. It seemed at the time the only way to resolve it and it obviously didn't work. Believe me, I will not be contacting any of them, I never wanted to even before the Facebook drama started but I felt that trying to ignore the insults and stealing wasn't doing a thing to help or hinder it and to change it in any way I had to act. I am really not that good at confrontations so I messed that up pretty badly. My husband is actually doing a LOT better on the spineless wonder front, He told me that he was blinded by guilt about not being around much when they were growing up because he was in the Navy. He said that's why he let them get their way in a lot of ways when he was there and why they are used to him being the doormat. It's a shock to them that he is actually standing up for himself and I and they don't like it. He said that he still loves his girls but he will not tolerate the lies anymore. The next time they establish contact, maybe then we can work things out like adults. However they will be treated like adults in all aspects and they may not like that.

Yes I can say I understand what you are going through. I have lived in my apartment for about six years. The first week that I moved in I noticed that every time I would turn on my light in the back the guy who lives next door would come out. I assumed at the time that he was coming out to smoke but over time I realized that he had seen my light turned on and was coming out for that reason. It turns out that this guy is a shut-in. He is in his mid-thirties and never leaves the apartment. He lives there with his mother who has lived in the apartment for a long time. He has been harassing me since I moved in. It started out slow, the coming out the back door when I would turn on my light to opening the front door when I would be unlocking my door asking me if he could help me carry things up, He would be at the front entrance to the bulding and would hold the door open for me. After talking to neighbors in the building it turns out that this guy is a menace to the building. He asks the neighbors for money, has even knocked on the maintenance guy who lives in the building asking for $20. He also steals packages in the building, opens them in the hallway, takes whatever is in the box and then leaves the box under the stairs. I have never had anything to do with him or his mother but he has some sort of sick fixation on me. He used to sqeak what sounded like a dog toy every time I would come out of my apartment or when I would come home. I complained to the management office about this repeatedly and this has eventually stopped but someone in that apartment was doing it for a good four years. His MO as I would call it is to slam doors. He will slam the screen door when he comes out to smoke and then slam the screen door and the back door as he is going back in. I think there is something seriously wrong with him, like mentally. The police have even knocked on my door asking if they were home. They made a comment like 'you know they are from Mexico.' I called the management office and no policeman has knocked again. But he continues to harass me because I believe that is how he passes the day, he has nothing else to do and I have become his target. I believe he can see and hear me. He makes these popping sounds by my kitchen wall that is a connecting walll to their apartment. He also makes pounding noise by the wall. This guy is obviously a very sick individual and a guy in the building who knows him told me that he just uses him so that he will give him gas money (he no longer has a car) and that the guy is bad news. He told me that he filled up his car several times. I have decided to stay in my apartment because I am not going to let anyone chase me out of my apartment. It sounds like you have the same situation where you have a woman who has stuck her nose in your business I woudn't let her chase me out. The suggestions that some people in this diiscussion made were good but I am guessing that she would enjoy it, it would give her something to do, like complain to the management office and what's that expression, some people are looking for any kind of reaction even if it is negative.