Return to the Stepfamily Forum | Post a Follow-Up

 o
Should I...or should I not?

Posted by cmestep (My Page) on
Fri, Feb 25, 11 at 11:17

My (2) middle SS ( they are 24 & 25 yrs old) got their girlfriends pregnant ( they both have decided that marriage is not for them at this time...isn't that nice). They are due a week apart,coming up very soon ( did they plan this?). I 've only been in the family for the past 3 1/2 yrs ( I'm the 4th wife...eeeks I know).I started to learn to knit so I can make them each a baby blanket ( even though I 'm not on board with the whole thing...but I'm just the 4th wife with nothin to say). Well my question is the one SS (I don't feel that we have hit it off since I 've been in the picture), I have called him twice for some help on something else I'm working on and just needed to ask him a couple of questions ( would take maybe 10-15 min of his time). He hasn't bothered to call me back and has told my DH that he's been really busy and hasn't had time,but he will. That was a couple of weeks ago...I haven't finished his blanket. Should I....I'm probably being stupid. I see my DH and my MIL showering these people with expensive gifts, but he can't call me back????


Follow-Up Postings:

 o
RE: Should I...or should I not?

You should - after all, you took on the task of learning to knit so you could give a meaningful gift to this SS's baby. Your heart was in the right place then -- and, as hard as it may be, you should try to keep it in that place. Remember, this gift is for the baby -- not your SS. And the baby's Mom may really appreciate it, even if the SS doesn't.


 o
RE: Should I...or should I not?

I agree with lady q, gift is for the baby not SS. Nice of you to learn how to knit. And babies will enjoy warm blankets.

But I know how you fell...I sometimes feel like I don't want to buy gifts or make anything for older SD because she never bothers to get anything (or at least anything remotely decent) for anyone. But the thing is that she is like this with everyone, not bothering much with doing things for people, not just me. In fact she is nicer to me than to many other people in her family, so it is what it is. Can't change them.

By the my SD is also expecting. I already sent gifts too. I am not knitting though. :)


 o
RE: Should I...or should I not?

I'm sorry...

I agree with the ladies above. Keep knitting!! I've always wanted to learn how. What a gift to yourself (great motivation!).


 o
RE: Should I...or should I not?

Thanks you guys for the "listening". It really does help me to see that yes, it is for the baby and not really for the parents. I don't really think the parents are going to appreciate it as much, that's just kinda how they roll.
Have a great weekend everyone.


 o
RE: Should I...or should I not?

"that's just kinda how they roll."

That's what we keep saying about older SD and her DH, that's how they roll. We'll be doing stuff because that's how we roll :)


 o
RE: Should I...or should I not?

Hee hee. That's how we roll... I say that too! Lol

my ex MIL made my DS a baby blanket -- he is not her grandchild. But I was really excited and it actually meant a lot to me and DD bc her grandmother did that for her baby brother. So I say make it. His girlfriend will love it no doubt. Men are like 'whatever' any way... Your SS probably has wierdness towards you bc you are wife # 4. I had weirdness towards SM bc she was sM #3 but it took me seeing her with my kids to realize she wasn't like the other and deserved a chance.


 o
RE: Should I...or should I not?

And try not to judge their situation. I actually would much rather people not marry bc of a baby. DH and I were not married when we had DS and I think if we would have rushed it bc we 'slipt up' and got caught doing what everyone else is already doing, we may have had problems. Babies are blessings no matter how they come in to this world ... Not being on board with the situation might be where SS doesn't want to really talk to you about it is coming from.


 o Post a Follow-Up

Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum.

    If you are a member, please log in.

    If you aren't yet a member, join now!


Return to the Stepfamily Forum

Information about Posting

  • You must be logged in to post a message. Once you are logged in, a posting window will appear at the bottom of the messages. If you are not a member, please register for an account.
  • Please review our Rules of Play before posting.
  • Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review your post, make changes and upload photos.
  • After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
  • Before posting copyrighted material, please read about Copyright and Fair Use.
  • We have a strict no-advertising policy!
  • If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
  • If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.


Learn more about in-text links on this page here