I'd be inclined to say she should be allowed to take calls from family members. Presumably the grounding as punishment is to remove the pleasure of calling all her friends etc. But if you would allow her to receive a call from relatives on the land line (which I hope you would) then if they would only call the cell phone I don't see in this instance it is really any different from receiving a call on the land line.

I agree.

Thanks girls. I think we will just keep the phone on and if I hear it ring and it is a family member she can use our home phone to return the call. I was thinking that was the right thing to do.

Since you know she is going to receive the calls anyway, why not have her make the calls to her Grandparents and Mom first. This way you won't have to monitor her phone for messages.

"Since you know she is going to receive the calls anyway, why not have her make the calls to her Grandparents and Mom first."

That's a great idea -- It's kind, reasonable, and enforces the existing grounding while not adding on any unintended consequences. I also like the added feature of putting SD in the position of having to confess and explain...

if mom only calls once a month i see no point confessing anything, she won't care. It is not like both parents are involved and need to know about punishment.

Is that the same SD that has special needs? what is she grounded for?

Ya it is the sd that has an iep. Her IEP is because she is "slow learning". When she was little they diagnosed her with adhd but that turned out to be wrong.

Anyways she is grounded for her attitude and arguing with us. We decided that if she can not talk to us respectfully she could not talk to others on her cell phone for a week.

I say grounded is grounded, no phone. Don't the grandparents & mom have the house phone number they could use to contact SD? If not, it would be logical to assume that, should they call her cell, and not get an answer, they would leave a message, which she could respond to after she has completed her term of being grounded. Making exceptions opens the door to more and more exceptions. I always wanted my kids to know that I said what I meant, and meant what I said...no exceptions!

Cellphones tend to become the principal means of contacts in these situations for families so your idea of allowing family to call in is fair and simple. Congrats to you for being a parent and having boundaries.

Well I kept her cell phone on and in my room until last night (when the grounding was over). I checked it often and she never missed a call or text from family...just friends. If family would have called or texted she would have been given the home phone to call back from. As for friends she was not allowed to call them back.