Vulgar Money

11 years ago

When my mum died, my brother and I didn't inherit anything, nor did we expect to. About 2 1/2 years later, my dad sold the family home and bought one with his new wife. He put his half in trust for my brother and I. Dad died just over a year ago, leaving his savings to us (50k) with a life interest in the house for his wife. She says she can move with it all if she wants to and the will seems to support this. She is 71 and says she might live till she is 90. She would often tell me how lucky she is to have money, I think from her first husband and her own dad. Since my dad died, she's been to Barbados, Turkey and a holiday in the UK. My share of my dad's savings went into our house refurb but we need more to finish it so our kids, aged 4 and 7, can have a nice home to grow up in. An additional concern is my mum in law lives in NZ and is on her own now so we'd like visit her at some point. Stepmum doesn't want to help us. Am I being unreasonable to expect that she would?

Comments (7)

Amber3902
11 years ago
When you say your stepmom can "move with it all", what does that mean? It sounds like you've inherited 50K from your father and now that you've spent it all, you want your stepmom to give you more money?

If that's the case, yes, you are being unreasonable. You got your share, she got her share. So what she's spent her money on trips? You decided to spend your share on fixing your house up. The fact that you want/need more money to finish it and want to visit your MIL is not her concern.
colleenoz
11 years ago
A life interest simply means she can live in the house until such time as she either dies or signs away her life interest. Assuming your Dad left his half of the house to you and your brother, she can't sell the house without your and your brother's written consent, and the proceeds from the sale would have to be divided in two, with one portion split between you and your brother.
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OT--lunch money?
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Comments (31)
I don't blame either Mattie or MKroopy for being concerned with the peanut/tree nut issue. If a school has a child who has a severe case the residue has been proven to be able to set off the extreme reaction such as MKroopy mentioned. Example, peanutbutter on kid's hands, not entirely washed perhaps just a quick rub with napkin and then residue can be smeared around school. Child with extreme case uses item next, bit of residue gets on child's hands and then could be rubbed into child's nose, mouth, eyes setting off the child's reaction. I did not realize to the extent the danger could be by just 'touching' for some people. Scary stuff. I had no idea. While I've known about the peanut/tree nut allergy and that some schools have peanut-free tables ect, I did not know about the dangers of smeared residue. I suppose each school needs to look at it as to who actually has the allegry and to what degree. If no children in a particular building has the extreme reaction and possible chance of residue exposure, banning does seem over the top. As a parent though if my child had the extreme case and a possible residue exposure could occur I'd likely push for strengthened methods to protect against. IDK, mandatory washing of hands immediately after eating with sinks provided next to lunchroom? But then there'll always be the odd child or two that ignores 'rule' or half heartedly washes...and then of course the residue on sink? While my school so far has no one with peanut allergy, it's not been an issue here, but I'm glad you have both opened my eyes to the whys such total bans might be necessary as new students arrive. I'd think if a school that had the extreme case reactions could do more about educating the children and parents on the actual facts ( without naming child of course)...I don't think a single parent would want to chance having some one else's child exposed and have reaction by merely swinging on the playground swing after their child smeared food residue on the swing. To get ridiculous and totally ban without some actual need though (aka no student with such extreme reactions to the slightest exposure) could be considered 'over the top' reaction to an issue that does not exist in that particular building. It's a horrible thought that some children would actually prank a child with food allergies...perhaps the serious consequences of such foolish behavior could be addressed routinely at the start of each school year. I'd think openly addressing the topic and the effects such actions could mean in reality would be just as important as peanut-free tables and bans. On a side note, Mr New Principal phoned yesterday. School did find my check. He did not tell me details but assured me that a new system of turning in lunch money was in the works as obviously this one is not working.
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I like him! A bit of a cynic with a sense of humor. I love the quote about statistics, unfortunately, statistic run the world these days. Thank you, Don - you find some interesting people for me to look up.
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I do love Chesterton, always have. Read half of it with my morning cup of coffee and printed it to read the rest later. Don, thank you for a read to keep.
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A cat is never vulgar. Carl Van Vechten i dont know what he means by vulgar, but if he had seen one of my cats in action, he might have changed his mind. one day she went down the middle of our street with her bum and tail straight up in the air, howling a piercing sound the entire time. she was doing what works for cats, but the kids in the neighborhood called her every vulgar name they knew, i am going to have fun reading the rest of the quotes. thanks don
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Larajaia
Original Author
11 years ago
Thankyou colleenoz. If she can't move without our approval, we would be fine with that but what is causing confusion is that the will says she can but the title deeds say she can't. She's adamant that she can and says we will just have to wait possibly 20 years till she dies! This is all so horrible. I feel positively vulgar talking about it and even though my Dad did all he could to look after all of us, including his wife, it is still causing problems. Damn money!
Amber3902
11 years ago
"we will just have to wait possibly 20 years till she dies"

UGH, so are you saying you're all upset because you have to "wait" 20 years for her to die so you can get more money?

How sick.
sylviatexas1
11 years ago
A life estate means that the beneficiary gets to enjoy all the rights & responsibilities of ownership for his/her life (pay the taxes, do repairs, etc) or until he/she sells the property with the agreement of the ultimate heirs.

She inherits the house for her lifetime.

The beneficiary can rent the house out if she wants.

The only one in which I was involved was a home in another state;
the widow lived here in Texas & rented the house out.

When the septic system needed to be replaced at a cost of several thousand dollars, she preferred not to lay out the money, so she worked out an agreement with the heirs in which she sold the house & kept 50% of the net proceeds & the heirs split the remaining 50%.

This was at the option of the beneficiary;
the kids had no power to make her sell it under any circumstances.
colleenoz
11 years ago
You really need to discuss this with a lawyer. Contact the Law Society in your state- often the first hour's consultation is free.
Comtemplating
11 years ago
Wow. I read your other post and responded and I am now reading this post about your father's will. the picture is clearer after reading this post. Larajaij, your father left you $50K and you spent it and now want access to what your father left his wife. He took care of his wife but left the house to you upon her death. If your father had left that to another family member would you feel as entitled? So, the bottom line is that you don't feel she deserves the house and would prefer her to....what? Move and let you have the house? Larajaij, I am ashamed for you. My father left everything to my step-mother and she gave me a watch that she purchased for him and I was so very thankful to her for that watch. That was his wife and their relationship meant a lot to me because she loved him and he loved her. They may not have been perfect to one another but nevertheless, they loved one another and I would never have considered entertaining the type of hate you bring to her. I was raised differently than you apparently. I imagine you can find people to co-sign your feelings and actions, but I hope you save yourself time and energy and take time to reflect on how you are treating others. If your relationship with you sm is an example of your values, I suspect you are having trouble in relationships elsewhere also.

Vulgar Money

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Vulgar Money

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