"She all of a sudden brought up her attorney fees from the very first time they went to court. 11 years ago. My dh was ordered to pay half of them. She specifically told him not to worry about paying it (her mom paid for it). So we never did. So now all of a sudden she wants to take $350 off of her total."

This just goes to show it is always good to get something like this in writing.

If your DH was court ordered to pay her attorney fees, from everything I've heard, there is no a statute of limitations on it, and if you have nothing in writing proving that BM said "not to worry about it", your DH does not have a leg to stand on.

"Mind you, this order took effect when ss was 6 months old. He was at that time ordered to pay her $58 per week. Up to that point he had paid her $100 per week out of pocket."

Anything your DH paid to BM for support of the child before a court order for CS was established is considered a gift. So if BM wants to be difficult and sue DH for the attorney fees he didn't pay 11 years ago, he can't say that he was paying $100 a week to her for if it was before CS was ordered.

You also probably don't want to hear this, but anything that your DH pays on top of CS is considered a gift, anything he buys for the kids, clothes, haircuts, etc. is considered a gift. I'm sorry, that's just the way it is. I just don't want you to spend time and money on fighting a case that you don't have a good chance of winning.

You could, however, make an agreement to subtract the $350 from the $794 that BM owes in back CS. But please, going forward, make sure your DH gets anything like this in writing. It may still not hold up in court, but it's better than her word against DH's.

Payment plan is on your credit??? guess what mom's not going to pay her portion on time ... you will be on the hook for the $60 extra every month ... stop counting on her money for your home ... yes she is supposed to pay but she is unreliable to pay do not include her money in your finances if you cannot afford to do it without her money don't do it ... its too bad he will be the only one of the kids with crappy teeth if you can't afford it

She knows she has you all by strings and plays you .. his ex still gets me some times but she is so predictable its sad ...

Hubby has full custody of the SS's, mom has full custody of SD so here is an example:

mom will take the boys to the drs get outrageous prescriptions then tell the boys daddy doesn't care about them because he won't pick up their prescriptions last two were $153.00 and $78.00 we just did not have the money on a monday had to wait till payday and she kept stressing what a POS daddy was because he wouldn't go get the scripts. Mom's stance is why should she pay for anything for the boys they are not "legally" hers.

A week later SD needed a script it was $45 and mom refused to get it she didn't have any money ... SD called crying for daddy to go get it because mommy didn't have any money for it .... so daddys a bad dad because he has to wait 3 days to get a med but mommy is a poor thing because she doesn't have any money to get scripts. And now dad's a bad dad because he won't pay for meds for SD because she isn't his "legally". He ended up paying for SD's script.

Bottom line ...do not count on her to pay anything never mind extra if she pays great if not ...really what can you do take her back to court again and again ... budget accordingly.. yes it sucks yes it hers responsibility but she doesn't care she gets to aggrevate the you SHE WINS!

Birthday dinners, anniversaries, football, braces, child support... its all a distraction to get you riled up so SHE WINS!

Maybe I misunderstood the payment arrangement. I tend to agree with you, Pseudo mom, but am not certain just how Mom3 meant the payment plan/s were done. I would not think Mr. Mom3 could set up payments agreements at dentist office for BM to be responsible for (even if according to some court order BM is suppose to be liable for 40%). So I assumed there were two discussions between the office and both bio-parents. One with Mr Mom3 and then his signed agreement plan, and another one with BM with her signed agreement plan for the remaining 40%.

Mom3 will have to explain that finace arrangement, I only understood the 60/40 % of which is court ordered on how it is 'suppose' to be on medical expenses when any occur, not how the actual financial arrangement with dentist was made.

Unless there were two separate signed agreements, I would be afraid to trust BM to pay her part if it were riding on my credit. I would just rather if there is one argreement arranged and signed to have the entire thing in my name, me make entire monthly payment and then perhaps pursue BM's 40% via a later route. Maybe even a future tax refund check or something along those lines (lien on her car?).

I feel really bad that this BM slacks off her responsibility and leaves Mom3 struggling to provide for the child...but I'd trust this BM about as far as I could throw her.

Amber, we are set up with the title iv d support office to go after bm to get her to pay her support. There is no dealing with them on past due support. It's due period. They won't take it off unless it's paid. I've been dealing with them with my ds11's case for 11 years also and my dh is adopting ds11.... they have told me time and time again there is no taking back support off until it's paid in full. I don't have to be told again that that can't happen. I also would NEVER do that. Like I said, I have receipts for EVERYTHING for the past year as far as extracurricular activities and medical bills that she owes for. It's $393 total. So, if she'd like to pay her attorney to draw this up and go to court I'm all for that. I'll bring all my receipts that prove what she's supposed to pay. I've just recently won a medical bill war with ds11 bd. I had no lawyer, just receipts. I won. So, I guess we can take out everything else I said dh paid for.... we still are owed more then she is and this doesn't even include the back support. I threw all that extra in to show that she's a biotch and is totally selfish. And just so we are clear here..... whenever my dh paid for any of those things it was because she would tell him ss would just go without because she wasn't going to get it. So he would have had shoes that were too small or raggity hair, etc. We could have also taken her back to court asap back then for a lower support order because we had him more then the 10% of the time the original order was drawn up for.... we had him more then half the time. I did consult an attorney about that then. DH just decided he didn't want to fight her. Again, I'm fine if she wants to take this to court. I have my receipts that prove she owes us more then we owe her. So in the end she'll owe us and her attorney. That's totally fine with me. I'll see her there with bells on. I keep meticulous records now with her because I learned with her that she can't be trusted. I dare her. Let's go. Also, dh can't remember if he paid it or not. I didn't think he did... but since technically I won't be allowed to speak.... and he's not lying by saying he didn't know if he paid it or not we can go with that. It wasn't to be paid through the courts anyway, it was to be paid to her directly. So after 11 years I doubt she can show proof that it wasn't paid as well as we can't show proof that it was. I honestly don't believe a judge will side with her on this.... and again if he did.... she'll still owe us money in the end.

Psuedo.... it's not technically on credit yet. It's not going to be reported anywhere unless we all stop paying. DS16's bd was set up with them to pay half each month. Yes, it's in our name but they will call us when they don't receive their payment. Then we call them and biotch at them. In the end I paid ds16's braces fee..... and I'll be taking that bd to court soon if he's not paying me back. I give him a break more then anyone else because he does most everything else he's supposed to do.... just not buy Christmas. UGH..... If she doesn't pay, in the end we will pay it but she'll be going to court to get that to us. And no, I'm not worried about paying an attorney, I'll go pro se. I already won this argument in November with ds11 bd. All you have to have is a receipt. I'll also get her to pay by threatening that if we go to court we will go to court to have her support raised as well. When support was established she didn't have a job.... she has a good job now she just doesn't want to part with her drug/alcohol money. I know this sounds horrible and manipulating but it works to get the bio parents to pay sometimes. She's more manipulative then anyone I know so she deserves some in return.

This orthodontist will work with me because I should own at least a door to his building. Spending like $20000 and staying on top of the payments gets you some assistance if that pos doesn't help out. They won't just send us away.

"they have told me time and time again there is no taking back support off until it's paid in full. I don't have to be told again that that can't happen. I also would NEVER do that."

I'm confused as to what you say you don't have to be told again. I didn't say anything about taking off back support, you asked is there is a status of limitations on DH having to pay BM's attorney fees. I said if it was court ordered - no.

"I've just recently won a medical bill war with ds11 bd. I had no lawyer, just receipts. I won."
There's a difference between suing for medical bills and suing for shoes, haircuts, and clothes, which was what I THOUGHT you were talking about.

Your original post made it seem like you were saying since DH paid for all these things - clothes, shoes, and haircuts, that THAT canceled out whatever amount he was court ordered to pay to BM for her attorney's fees. I was only saying if BM did take DH back to court for those attorney fees he was supposed to pay 11 years ago and never so did based on the fact that BM said "don't worry about it", it would be a 'he said' 'she said' thing, but if you're willing to put your time and energy into fighting this woman in court - then more power to you.

"You could, however, make an agreement to subtract the $350 from the $794 that BM owes in back CS. But please, going forward, make sure your DH gets anything like this in writing. It may still not hold up in court, but it's better than her word against DH's."

Amber, above is what you said, I was correcting that. You cannot take anything away from what bm owes in back support. That's what I was saying I've been told over and over.

I've mentioned the other medical bills in other previous threads before. All in all, she owes us no matter what she tries to pull out of her hat.

There are statute of limitations on all debts, I am looking more into this. It even states that after a child turns 18 the child support owed turns into a judgement and it's a 20 year statute of limitations, so I'm not going with it not having one at all.