When Step Kids Grow Up......
amber904
15 years ago
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kev111
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoorganic_maria
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Kid and kittens - growing up
Comments (5)Yes, beautiful granddaughter and kittens, Lilo. I see that Jazzie is getting a little color on her ears or were her ears always like that? It will be interesting to see how she shapes up as she matures. My Himalayan started out a creamy white all over but it wasn't long until the chocolate turned up. Jazzie looks more white than mine was. They are both so pretty and loving the attention that Kailey is giving them. I think Kailey is loving it, too....See MoreAre kids today fatter than when you were a kid?
Comments (28)I think it is more of the popularaity of the fast food places than it is working moms or kids vegging out in front of the TV. Kids today are involved in much more activities as compared to when I was a child. When parents have that much running around it is much easier to run through a drive thru or get pizza on the way home (stay at home or working mom) then it is to make a meal, get everyone to sit down, clean up and get out the door. I know because I have four kids and it's not that they are in too much by themselves but with 4 kids it makes for a busy week. I am a sahm but I still struggle with getting them from school, getting homework done, and getting them a nutritious dinner. When we get home in the evening that is when the dishes are cleaned off the table. It is so tempting to just run to McDonalds. Also, did you ever notice how many kids have lunchables packed in their lunches? Those things are packed with sodium, fat, calories, and tons of preservatives. Plus my kids' schools starting selling snacks (like nutty buddies and ho hos for lunch) I tell my kids "no you eat the snack that I pack and you are not getting a ho ho" But of course their friends get them (12 fat grams in the pack of 2) and share some of it with them from time to time. Can you imagine the amount of fat grams these kids are getting? Over 30 at lunch with their lunchable and their nutty buddies and then 30 more at dinner if they eat at a fast food place... not to mention any cookies they might snack on through the day? That amount of fat will make an adult gain weight. I hear that some schools actually have fast food like McDonalds available to them. So even if the kids were active in sports and activities they are getting too many fat grams to offset it :( Also I heard that kids today are getting too much juice. There are a lot of calories in juice and a lot of natural sugars. It is better for them to eat the fruit than it is to drink the fruit juice. I always have OJ but after 2 glasses of it they have to switch to water. My kids would drink a half gallon of OJ a day if I let them (each one of them) So kids are drinking a lot more calories than they use to as well....See MoreNightmare Step Kids
Comments (6)I agree with brass tacks in what she asked about. Why your wife goes behind your back and goes against what both have you agreed on. In reality, besides the resentment that will grow in you, she is also making you seem like the 'bad' guy and her the good one on their sides and forming a stronger bond. An illusion for her because her kids are basically manipulating her. i think if you stay, you will have to talk about this. What i dont understand is why your wife doesn't want to talk about her daughters bad behaviour. THe way i see it, its seems to bother you more than her when it comes to belly piercings, late nights, etc..etc. These are not your kids to decipline. Even if she has let you, your setting yourself up. As a child growing up, i resented any discipline coming from my stepmother. And now as a stepmother of 2 kids, i have told my husband and his kids i will not discipline. I demand respect because i give respect to all of them but its not my job to ground them. That's up to their mother and father. This is what i mean about her letting you and making you the bad guy. Let her handle her kids cra*p! Its not your job. Concentrate on your relationship with your wife. Does she love you? ARe you losing your trust? Do you always let her go into your wallet? The kids hate you because you are discipling. Stop it! Let their mother do it. I know you are concerned about them and their well being. Yes they are a package. But there are instructions on special packages and this is what you have opened. The instructions are not being followed. Or they were not written properly between you and your wife. You need to sit down with your wife and discuss some rules and of course your feelings. How is your wife taking it when her kids are leaving the house and blaming you? Is she resentful or couldnt' care less? Very important, please dont take the blame. These are teenagers. Walking hormones with nasty temper tantrums...been there..done that!:) You are not the one splitting them apart. Your wifes decisions are. By going against what you both decided, she is underminding your cohesiveness as a united front. This is bad when it comes to dealing with kids. You must be united. If she cannot do this. Then its time to go. If she cannot correct this...then its time to go. If it doesn't bother her that her kids are leaving and couldnt care less if they like you or not...you can continue but i dont know how you would feel knowing she is like this....See MoreIs it better when step kids are Older or Younger?
Comments (19)Bonnie, It only gets better when they get older if they are taught from the beginning HOW to behave properly. If they are allowed to treat people like crap, they won't wake up one morning & realize they shouldn't act that way. However if the parents are drilling into them to treat people nice, they may wake up one day & realize the parents were right. Usually it happens when they become parents themselves. (and maybe they appreciate or realize how hard it is to be a stepparent when they become one or see a situation that opens their eyes to it) As you can see in other threads, every kid & every situation is different. I read Pseudo's thread where her SD has an about face & now wants to be "friends" with Pseudo after years of animosity. My first inclination is that the SD is going to use her "friendliness" with SM as a weapon to hurt a mom she is angry at, rather than an epiphany that she now realizes how great SM is and loves her for it. I'm not saying she doesn't realize how great Pseudo is, because she does realize Pseudo doesn't treat her as bad as her own mom... but in my opinion, it's more likely a manipulation. My point is that kids do get older & figure things out, form their own opinions, and maybe even stick up for themselves.... but do you really want to go through what Pseudo is going through? Or JustNotMartha? Or me? or any of the other SM's that are in similar situations? We all had the best intentions, have given endlessly & ended up, in one way or another, stressed out & frustrated. and the stress takes it's toll... on our relationships, physical health, mental health, and quality of work. I'm envious of those that can toss back a few drinks, even though I abstain from alcohol because my mom is an alcoholic & I have health problems I don't want to make worse... but I've been on medication, take stress management, go to counseling, and have gained weight because I'm a stress eater. For me, it just keeps getting worse. My SD is 12 now. She knows her mom is full of BS. She knows all I've done for her. But, there are people in their 30's, 40's, and older that can STILL be manipulated. There is no magical age where that ends... it ends when a person decides they are being manipulated and no longer wants to allow someone else to manipulate them. My SD's grandma is in her 70's and still allows BM to tell her what to do. That is what dysfunction is all about. Perhaps there is something in your past that draws you into the situation because that is where you're comfortable?...See Moredani77
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