boyfriend has 5 kids
asheni
15 years ago
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finedreams
15 years agoimamommy
15 years agoRelated Discussions
5 kids, LG Tromm, Epic, Bosch or Harmony
Comments (12)If you need easy I would stay away from front loaders. I had a Bosch 500 for a couple weeks before I traded it for a Cabrio HE. You have to be very careful about the amount of detergent you put in. My Cabrio also uses HE detergent, I am using the same stuff I used in the Bosch (All Free and Clear Small and Mighty HE), but it is much more forgiving about the amount of detergent you put in. It is also much easier to use in general, and it rinses a lot better. I have serious skin problems and I had to use triple rinses on all my loads with the Bosch using a 1/2 TBSP of triple concentrated detergent, even then my skin was still itchy. With the Cabrio I use 1 TBSP of the same detergent and a single rinse. That said, if you have people that refuse to follow directions, I would stick to a traditional TLer. With the HE TLers you do have to be careful how you load them. I load my stuff around the outside of the tub leaving the washplate uncovered. I have never had a problem with tangling or wrinkling. And it will definitely handle a king size comforter. So unless you can find some way to train the others, or keep them away from the machine, I would think there could be problems. You should try Lowes if you have one near you, they have a great return/exchange policy and the extended warranty is cheap there. It does sound like you should definitely buy the extended warranty. By the way, I had a 10 year old Kenmore Super Capacity Plus washer that I replaced, I could fit my king size comforters in it. The Cabrio is a lot easier to load and unload the comforters, but they did fit and clean well in the old Kenmore. So you might want to look for the largest capacity traditional TLer you can find and see if that will fit your comforters....See Moremy boyfriend's kids bad behaviour
Comments (4)Thank you for your input. I do believe that nothing will change and the kids will always just get their way and be spoilt to their own detriment. I can't live like this because myself and my brothers were not raised this way. I am not use to bad manners and no respect. It infuriates me almost daily and makes me not like the boys. Some people might think that kids don't know what they doing, but trust me they know exactly how to behave to get what they want and its always bad. Sometimes I think they just not normal kids because I have never seen this before. But i do understand that the father and grandparents are to blame because the kids learn from them. When I know the kids are coming to visit, the anxiety builds up every single time without fail and that isn't normal. I can't accept this for the rest of my life and I guess at the end of the day it is okay if I get out. I just had to come to terms with the entire situation and that it really isn't normal behaviour because my boyfriend made it seem like I'm overreacting and that I take things too serious. Thank you...See MoreBoyfriend has a daughter? 'Awkward?'
Comments (23)I'm glad to have some feedback on being a 'mentor' (assuming we do take our relationship to a more serious place). I'd think/hope that being a mentor of sorts would probably be the most beneficial and less awkward route to take for his daughter, myself, and my boyfriend. Maybe serve as a...mediator/bridge between the two? I want her to respect me and see me as somewhat of an authoritative figure, but I also want her to know that she can come to me with teenage things or frustrations a girl wouldn't normal be able to tell her parents. When my boyfriend and I first discussed his daughter (a while ago), he seemed to assume that I would be a mentor for her and help calm him from being a ridiculously overprotective/clueless dad; and I agree, I think that is definitely a position I could fill if this were to work out. But we'll see, it'll take some time and serious thought & communication to see if this is where I want to go in life. @Amber, I wasn't really suggesting coupling counseling, but more of an easement/adjustment counseling. And only if the situation needed it. Counseling is not only a 'fix' for bad things, it's also a way to PREVENT bad things; and the only time I would consider counseling, is if my boyfriend and I thought there might be a potential issue with his daughter. And it wouldn't be counseling to 'fix' a bad thing, but rather to help all of us ease into a new life. I imagine (IF we do get married...way later on) his daughter would find at least a little discomfort in having a 27 year old suddenly as an 'authoritative' figure in her 14 year old life. Plus, 14 is a difficult age for girls anyway. So if the situation seemed to need it, I think counseling would be a very helpful way in easing into the transition, establishing my 'role' in their family, and helping her to see I'm not looking to be a new mom or overstep my boundaries. Counseling would allow her to tell me what she wants/looking for, what I want, and what my boyfriend wants. But again, this would only happen if we were to marry later on and foresee a potential tension. So I'm going to have to disagree with you on the pre-marriage counseling being a bad omen. @mkroopy, thank you for making me sane again! I'll admit I definitely fell into the doubt 'trap'. I am confident in my boyfriend's loyalty, but when several people suggest otherwise, I do begin to doubt slightly (also doesn't help that I'm a serial worrier about everything!) But you are correct, men (& women) can definitely be faithful and it's disheartening to see that so many people think otherwise. So, just for the sake of pacifying anyone else's concerns...there is a very low chance my boyfriend is cheating, and if he is, then I will eventually learn my lesson, but I can't go about my relationship distrusting him. He works Monday-Friday from 11am-7pm, goes to the gym/runs errands, and then gets home at 11 pm. The only time he would be able to 'cheat' would be on the weekends, which is when he has his daughter, so he wouldn't be able to. I think he's much too busy and occupied with his daughter and me, that even if he wanted to, there would rarely be a time for him to cheat....See MoreShould I leave my boyfriend?
Comments (25)sorry this is a long vent... Fingernails: aye, yes and it was difficult. his birthday so i agreed to go out one last time, i'm going away on business soon anyway so i felt like that would protect and reinforce that not seeing each other until that list is finished... i know it was screwed up to go out with him but somehow i really feel like everyone deserves a nice birthday... but then he wanted to "talk" about that list, started going over it, like "ok well, the thing about meeting with his teacher every week.... can you go with me? and, i don't know if every week is going to be possible, i mean, she might get really annoyed." I said "well, hello, i mean it just means contact once a week to get her observations on him... so after the first meeting or two in which you explain the situation you can just call her once a week." Reasonable, no? I mean, wouldn't any teacher have sympathy for a single father who appraoches her saying he's struggling and needs her feedback? But then he still wanted me to go with him... my heart was torn but I was like "no, listen, it doesn't sound like you really want to do this stuff on this list. if you don't agree with it, if you don't think you're at crisis point enough to tell the teacher, hey listen sorry Ms. Teacher to be bugging you, i'm only doing it because i'm at wit's end over my son" ... well if you don't think you're at crisis point yet that you're still worrying about what she'll be annoyed with and what she thinks about you... then you're just not ready. (And besides, I mean wouldn't it be strange for me as girlfriend to go along to such a meeting? it's not my kid! Plus not so much teacher's impression but my point that BF should be doing this stuff HIMSELF! though later i thought, maybe he's worried she'll think he's coming on to her and that's why he wants me along... and then i felt bad for refusing) Then he wanted to move on to the other stuff, and I sensed he was trying to turn it into some kind of bargaining session. He was like "hmmm maybe I can do 60% or 80% of this but not all..." Remember the list was: going to family therapy 8 sessions, hiring a baby-sitter every single time we go out, talking to boy's teacher once a week, reading 5 books on parenting, my ex getting a real bed for himself and sleeping in the second bedroom not in the living room.... I thought "what on earth?! an ultimatum is an ultimatum! this is not negotiable!" Like him saying "oh maybe it's going to be hard to get a baby-sitter, i mean if it were a regular job fine, but it would be hard to get someone say for the weekend if we go away, especially if it's only occasionally. (in the ultimatum it said, OR the child just comes along! simple no?) I blew my top then, not literally but just said "hey it doesn't really sound like you're ready to make real changes so whatever... it's your call..." which unfortunatley turned into this long coversation on whether he is truly ready, etc... at which point i said "listen there are some deep underlying issues here which i don't think it's good to hear about from someone like me, we're too close, but a therapist could help you figure it out reasonably quick if it's a good one." At which point he says "yeah well actually i'm thinking more about calling my cousin who's a pediatrician... " at which point i thought "great a pediatrician is really going to help you figure out your parenting... especially if it's your relative who needs to stay on good terms with you!" but i humored him adn said "that sounds like a great start, ask her opinion about the situatin, maybe ask her if she things family therapy would help" but then he continues "because you know she met my son a couple years ago, spent a day with us, and she told me she thought my son was going to have problems." INside i'm like "what the #$%$#!!! a professional told you that, two years ago, and you never followed up on that?! You never asked her why she thought that, and what you could do about it? I sure as heck would be concerned if a pediatrician told me that. I'd ask a thousand questions and call that person whenever problems did happen!" More and more I just can't believe this guy! we left with me saying "ok well call me way way down the road, and if and only if there have been radical changes." which he kind of took to mean never. so in that sense my ultimatum has failed, it seems by saying i wasn't going to budge on it and wasn't going to go with him to see teacher, like he gave up... I feel bad but I think I have to save my sanity no? Thanks all for just letting me vent. Sorry to have taken up so much of everyone's time!...See Morelamom
15 years agocindy_pond
15 years agodisengaging
15 years agoKasey Parry
5 years ago
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