Resent supporting my new husband
sunny5478
15 years ago
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happynewyear1
15 years agoRelated Discussions
My Husband is nasty to my daughter please please read
Comments (22)I haven't read all of these messages. But I have to tell you that I grew up in a home where my step father treated us like DIRT! Kids were to be seen and not heard! That was his favorite line! At 16 I was ready to move out on my own. Life was horrible. I got NOTHING- yelled at, told I was lazy- you name it. I had to buy my own school clothes my own everything. He controlled the whole household. I never got a kind word spoken to me, never a praise, never a pat on the back. No help for college. NOTHING.... He had his own two kids, to this day he still supports them. They are both lossers. But those two kids got anything they every wanted. I didn't want much REALLY As hoaky as it sounds, I just wanted a dad! Someone I could call dad again- not Phil. I was about 12- had lost my dad two years previous. I missed my dad- I missed my family- we moved out of state. It was a sad childhood. My mom was the calming force. She kept the peace. But it wasn't enough. The constant stress from the day to day living with this man. I stayed out of the house as much as possible. I had a horse. I rode for hours. When that wasn't enough I found a boyfriend. At a very young age I became more 'involved' with my boyfriend then I should have. I worked, anything not to be home. I HATED it! As an adult I would wait for the man I was dating to turn into Phil. See, he wasn't always like he was when my mom married him. He was actually one of the nicest men I had ever met. Until the vows were exchanged. We weren't bad kids. We accepted him. He never could or would for us. I can't stress enough what your doing to your daughter. SHE WILL NEVER forget this. You are destroying her piece by piece. My advice is to leave this man. You will get over the loss- she just might never get over what he is doing to her! I know this man your married! Not in the literal sense, but I LIVED THIS...... I still think about my 'lost' childhood from time to time. But you know what, I BEAT him.... I'm succesfull! I'm happily married with two kids. I have a wonderfull relationship with my mom and brother. And my husband is NOTHING LIKE HIM! My mom left him about 6 years ago. Sad it took that long. My brother who was younger then me, lived with him from a small boy up. I see the horrible traits of Phil in my brother. My brother grew up thinking he was dumb. He drifted from job to job. NEVER a harder worker, but he had trouble reading and writing. So he'd drop the job as soon as more responsiblity was sent his way. It was sad.... He's just recently regained some of his self esteem. He's 29 years old! Took him all this time. He's found his place in life. So have I! Guess what! I can even eat food in my living room LOL.... So can my kids.. I'm sorry if this is harsh and I'm sorry it most likely didn't make sense. If it helps your 16 year old daughter then I'll sleep better at night.... HUGS to you and your daughter. Kristi...See MoreHusband expects me to leave my money to all kids equally.
Comments (30)Hi everyone. This is the original Dalda nearly 7 years later. Amazing things happen when you have an excellent lawyer who puts things in motion and types up divorce papers under 48 hours. I was finally able to get a divorce. I sent my stepbrother, his wife and nibling on a 6 months full paid vacation. He's too busy, so he took one month off each year to visit each continent except the two poles. LoL. I have set up a educational trust fund for nibling. So nibling can study whatever and wherever nibling wants. Stepbrother is extremely well off on his own, and did not want or need it. But he took care of my lovely mother and wonderful stepfather for years. My stepfathers best friend was my lawyer, stepfather was the man who got down on one knee at 60 years to me and my sister and asked our consent to become family. He knew everything about the inheritance even about the extra millions and kept mumm and guided me, mentored me. Bless him. As for my divorce, ex-H contested it, it dragged on for 8 months, he had a grandchild. Without him being in contact with me or dear daughter for 4 months, we were invited to the birth of the child via a call and text. I promptly congratulated and sent a gift. Then continuously for 2 months me and daughter were bombarded with a few hundred photos of the child. Daughter was completely abandoned by him, distraught and blocked him on all media. Step kids did not remove their possessions even after written notice, I had to pack all their stuff and delivered it to their respective residents via courier service. With proof of delivery and acceptance. I must mention here that ex-h in the end was physically abusive to me. For years I was told I'm too dumb to do a PhD, I wouldn't be able to cope with the family and studies and work. I did not know that he had been funneling money from my account to his for 16 years. He was mentally abusive, which I didn't understand then. But during my daughters therapy sessions I broke down and discussed myself with the therapist and they pointed out exactly how I was being manipulated and brainwashed for 16 years into being under his thumb. They sued me for financial support, mental torture abuse, they WANTED 1 million of the 2 my parents left me, my family heirlooms, access to my house and lost spectacularly. I must write one line from the judges verdict, it went somewhat like this, it seems unfortunate that Mr. X and two of your children have been consumed by greed. You have failed to show one valid reason why you should be granted one cent. As for Mr. X, you should be ashamed as you have forgotten that you have another 15 year old daughter. Daughter and I faced a lot of vile words, threats from ex. He went to her school and tried to force her to sign papers. Tried to make her understand how and why she should share her good windfall. On my 40th birthday, I had a call and had to urgently visit my father's lawyer, telling a shocked and crying me that Instead of 2 million, my inheritance came up to 18 million in total. As my father bless him, left everything he had to me and my sister a few years later, which unknown to us was left to us to be given when we reach 40. I heard from ex-in laws that they flipped. In anger stepdaughter screamed, and broke stuff, ex ranted for days how he should have just sucked up and left his adult kids be, his life would be so much better. Ex got married twice. Him and his son sued me again, and lost, Spectacularly again. At 16 daughter won a full scholarship (she has mama's brains) and went on to an ivy league college with 4 GPA. She's 20 and blooming. With my consent she has set up a trust fund for anonymous merit scholarships for underprivileged students, we also support a local women's shelter for abused women and children. I rented out my house, which was too huge for only two people and moved to a town near her college, was a able to get a much better job in my field, which I did not know I was capable of, went on to do my PhD and Post Doctorate on full merit scholarship, I'm still doing it, it is extremely hard work. And two years later of my divorce I met a wonderful man through my work, my daughter and his daughter. Yes, it's weird. We took it slow, we have been married for two years now. Smooth sailing so far. We both have similar experience with exs and near same financial backgrounds, education. I must mention my amazing stepdaughter gave near same amount to the scholarship fund for underprivileged children from her own business. She has been a positive influence on daughter and guide her like my brother did me and my sister, like a protective wing. We agreed on an airtight prenup. Life is and can be bliss if you have the guts to leave your abusive and greedy mooching partner....See MoreEx husband, his evil wife and child support
Comments (7)I have been a single mother since my son was 3 years old and he is now 18. I know that many states now have the same laws regarding child support, I am surprised yours took the helpless attitude that they did. You have the option of having your ex's wages garnished. Plus, you can file to have the child support order adjusted for the ex's increase in wages. The support order goes according to a schedule based on how much money the ex earns. The judge will re-look at the wages and will adjust accordingly. In the state of California, the child support division was very good about contacting me to keep the information current regarding wages, address, etc. But, once you have an order in place to collect child support via garnished wages, you are in the system and they will follow up for you. You sometimes have to push them. Most states consider child support a top priority and will also garnish income tax returns and put a lien on property. So, they will work with you and for you. Most child support agencies are swamped, so you do have to keep at them. This could be why they took the attitude that they did. Call them a lot. Don't be afraid to bug them, that is what the agency is for - it's put in place to secure financial support for your loved ones. A lot of tears and frustration you go through, I know. You don't want your children to go through the rejection by their father. Keep your chin up, you will see a brighter future. Your sons will love you even more through the years knowing you stuck by them (I know, how can anyone not?) and the rewards will be awesome. Keep up the positive support for them. Write and let us know how you are doing....See MoreI am so resentful of my step child
Comments (68)All of the posts on this thread made my head ache. I am a step mom. But before I was a step mom, I raised three children (as a single parent for many years) and I was in my ex's three children's life for seven years. (we never married but their mom saw them, maybe once a year) So, I can see both sides as a step mom AND bio mom. My son also had a step mom and I have a step mom as well. First, I would say that if dad doesn't spend much time with his first child when you were just dating, then it should have been a clue before you married him and then had another child with him. He does not sound like an interested parent at all, regardless of how involved he says he was the first time. His actions in your presence when he was BF speak volumes about his desire to parent. Second, you have a choice to build a relationship with his daughter or not. There's no need to resent HER. She didn't choose to be born, she didn't choose to have a disinterested father, she has NO choice in her living situation. I would also disagree that you should resent your DH because you KNEW he didn't spend time with her, yet you still married him. YOUR BAD!! Not his. Third, if she has a problem with you, it is most likely due to her dad (which I'm sure she wishes he paid more attention to her) paying more attention to YOU and now the new baby. It's normal in an intact family when a new baby comes along that the older child might feel jealous. Befriending her and letting her "help" with the baby might make her feel a part of the family. If she is following you, she sounds interested. One thing that I have not seen addressed here (and I'm fairly new to this forum) is feelings toward the child based on the other parent. My SD looks & acts like her mom, which kinda makes it a little harder to get along sometimes. That is something you have to acknowledge if it's a problem and then work on separating it mentally. I do realize it shouldn't have anything to do with it and I do remind myself all the time that she's not a mini version of her mom. She acts like her mom because children model after their parents. And I guess if you dislike the other parent and that child reminds you (or your spouse) of the other parent, it can cause problems. And lastly, we all think our new babies are "perfect" and in a way, they are. That is, until we screw them up with our baggage and issues. If your child grows up with a mom that can resent a five year old for existing, then that WILL affect him. That is his sister whether you like it or not. He will resent you if you damage that relationship. Your husband may or may not care about his relationship with his daughter but if he does care and you are the reason she gets out of his life, HE may resent you too....See Morelovehadley
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