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Swimming costs

15 years ago

So tonight is the sign ups for my ss's swim team. BM had said she would "help as much as she could" with the cost. So last night DH called her and reminded her sign ups were tomorrow night and asked her what she can help with.

She then told him that she wants ss in the swim team near her house instead if she is to help pay.

DH reminded her that is like 15 min from our house and is not convenient for driving to the 4-5 practices a week and weekend meets. He told her that since ss lives here and the responsibility of getting him to/from activities falls on us it needs to be close to our home.

She then said that she would help drive ss to practice. DH reminded her that he can count on one hand how many times she has seen the kids since moving back in September and that she has shown he can not rely on her and he is not setting himself up to be let down again. And he told her to forget it and keep her money since he is used to paying all the costs of the children anyways.

What a mess!!

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Comments (4)

lovehadley
15 years ago
Yeah, it totally sounds like it's better for you guys to just swallow the cost. Then, at least, this activity is in your control. Sounds like you can't count on BM for any sort of help with it, anyway, so don't set yourself up.

SD is lucky to have you guys in her corner!
imamommy
15 years ago
BM has been unreliable in EVERY way it seems, why would you want to count on her for ANYTHING at this point? She is trying to rein in some control but what is it worth to you? If she agrees to drive to practices, will she actually do it or will you be frustrated every week with her canceling or making excuses?

Pay for it yourselves and if she chips in, great. Keep the stress level down and don't count on someone that is unreliable.
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mom2emall
Original Author
15 years ago
Ya, we know she is unreliable. We know that she would not drive to practices. It is just not worth having her chip in for the cost.

I really still wonder why she is so desperately trying to get him signed up in something near her house.
lamom
15 years ago
mom2emall, BM probably wants them to sign up to some activity, swimming, soccer, close to her home so she can see SS more. Or at least, that's what she has in her mind. It may be that she wants her friends and neighbors to see SS around more and around her more. Also, it sounds like there is a control element to this too.

If she's unreliable then you and DH are doing the right thing. It's not fair at all but easier if you just bear the costs. At least you won't have the hassle of trying to coordinate with an unreliable person.

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