Happy Anniversary! 10 is a big deal! Congrats on making it this long!!

I'm sorry bm is being a pain in the arse but you have to not let her sh!t get to you! Or she wins every time!! And she knows it. She picked tonight to fight with you for whatever the reason... Don't let her ruin special nights like that.

This is the reason that a set schedule needs to be in place. She needs to have specific dates and times so that she can't just come up with whatever schedule fits her whenever it fits her. The bday dinners are understandable but football games, come on! That's what a dvr is for and I know plenty of people, us included that have had to record games because of schedule conflicts. He can't listen to it on the way. And who cares if SS doesn't want to come home, he doesn't get a choice. Not until he is 18. She just tells dh that to see if she can get him to cave and let SS stay. Ugh she's a piece.

If BM has been b*tching about the upcoming braces...everything from cost to the dentist himself...I'd not be surprised if the sudden 'dont want to come home' is more do to with what's happening Monday.

I never met a kid excited over getting braces and in this case he has a BM that is anti the idea. I also would not be surprised if she's filled SS's head full of what a 'hardship' the cost will be for her and has him feeling guilty over poor BM (maybe even how mean old Dad is trying to take all her money). BM likely found out that running to her lawyer about an 11yr old debt would cost her more than it would gain her and her lawyer informed her she can't get out of the 40% of braces either.

Face it, you're just totally unreasonable and mean(rolls eyes) in expecting her to live up to her obligation of helping to support her child. First the state is on her buns for CS, going to garnish her wages , take her tax check and now braces too. How dare you, LOL.

She has a choice of tonight, 8am Saturday or Sunday. DH's given her more than enough options and been quite willing to work with her over the exchange. She can pick one or she can drive him all the way home. Her husband watching a ballgame?

Thank you myfam!! I want a set schedule more then anything but we all know she's trash and won't agree. Maybe if we end up in court again I'll have dh ask the judge about making it that way for good. Also, dh watches EVERY game dvr'd. We are never home when it's really on.... so yes, this is all ridiculous. It amazes me that she's so into giving into her man of the day but she's always been such a biotch to my dh. He's the best man she almost had.

I agree that she's playing ss with a guilt trip. He already told us she told him he could get the braces but she didn't want to pay for them. He was really talking trash about her that day. I didn't respond. If he needs to vent I let him. I just don't play into it and let him think I agree. Although I obviously do. Also, right before Christmas my kids were excited to go see my family for the holiday. SS said... "don't brag"... I told him he still gets a Christmas with his new sd's family. He grunted and said he's rather be with us with my family.... so it's hard for me to believe he's having a fit about coming home.

Yes, unless she pays a huge chunk in the next few weeks her tax check will be coming to us. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

It's really weird but ss is excited about his braces. He wants nice teeth. He wants to look good. He's just always felt a little guilty about not making his mom cry. Which I'm sure she doesn't really cry she just makes him feel bad.

She texted dh this morning that they will meet tomorrow morning at 8am. So dh has to leave about 5:30.... fine with me that's what time I'm leaving for work. LOL! So now the whole house will be up with me.... wait, I like getting ready alone. LOL, oh well.

"but she's always been such a biotch to my dh. He's the best man she almost had."

Well, of course she's gonna make HIS life miserable. If he was the best thing she ever had & blew it, why would she want to be nice to him... especially when he's moved on & found someone who didn't blow it... and now he's happy & she isn't. Misery loves company so she wants to make him pay?

There's nothing you can do about a mom that puts the guilt trip on her child. As for the cost of the braces & collecting her part or offsetting what your DH owes in back lawywer fees, those are all separate issues. If there is a case with child support services, submit her part so they can collect. I know my DH has to bill BM for her share & if it's not paid, he can go to the court & convert it to a monetary judgment before he can submit it to child support services to collect. Either way, I wouldn't waste my time, energy or my breath asking her if you already know she isn't gonna pay. No, she cannot deduct the lawyer fees... she needs to pay for the braces as that's a part of the support order. If DH owes for lawyer bills, start sending her $10 a month & write "Lawyer bill" on the memo line. One thing has nothing to do with the other.

It is heartbreaking when we have to sit by watching the child suffer when the parent does not do what we think they should or what the child wants/needs. It comes down to "not my problem" because the bottom line is, there is nothing WE can do to change it or fix it.

My dd is excited about getting an expander! Of all things! Geez! And my ex is fighting it tooth and nail as well. This isn't cosmetic at this point, dd has straight teeth and probably won't require braces but she needs this expander to shift her cross bite and to widen her upper jaw... But ex says its not necessary. Not necessary unless he gets to pick the dentist and he has total control.. I got three opinions, three different dentists AND I provide insurance that I'm not 'required' to provide ... But that still isn't good enough. They fight no matter what it is. These kinds of parents are only out for the fight, has nothing to do with the kid. My dad fought braces for my brother and sister as well. I didn't need the braces, but they did and he refused to help pay.. Why? Because he didn't get a say in the dentist. Why does that even matter???!!

Ima, I agree that it's not MY problem but I can't help but make it that way. I once said something "my son"... and ss stomped off and yelled at me cause he's not "my son"... (I was saying it about ds11, ss wants me to always refer to him as my son as well) I've always treated him as if he is and don't usually differentiate the difference. We have an extra special relationship and I just can't blow it off because he's not my biological son. I am guessing she will mention all this to her lawyer and her lawyer will put her in her place. She's going to pay on the braces one way or another.

Myfam, I think this is exactly what's going on with bm. It's a power struggle. It's a rediculous thing to fight over, the well being of your child. Bm can't choose a dentist because she lives so far away, she has no clue what's going on here. Plus, I won't change from this one since ds11 is still in his braces and I'll be able to take them together instead of separate. I guess I got lucky because my dad is the one who needed braces and his parents didn't put them on him (just 3 of his brothers).... so my dad always made sure I was going to have a pretty smile. My mom didn't argue it either. My dad paid his half up front and got a discount, my mom made payments. All three of us were able to get them. My mom and dad did not always agree but I didn't see them fight like this. SS isn't really seeing it because it's mostly email/text but I'm sure she's telling him all about it.