Oh, I forgot, the weekend of my biopsy was also my birthday (thanksgiving weekend). My DH bought me a grinder, I was so excited. I haven't even used it yet, not even sure how to, actually. I really need to get back downstairs soon, I feel bad that he went to all that trouble to surprise me (I thought the box contained a really heavy toaster), and I haven't even played with it yet.

Sometimes we lose that creativity *temporarily* but it will come back and help to sustain you. I will send positive thoughts next week; hope all goes well. I'm sure your DH understands about the grinder. When you get back to mosaics you will really enjoy having that grinder. Good luck to you!!

Judy, even if you don't feel like mosaicing or being creative, keep in touch with us, and enjoy what others are doing here too! I know that troubles shared is always better!!! Thank you for letting us know, I feel priviledged to be asked to share this hardship with you, I shall add it to my prayer list..I Thank God all the time for the wonderful people I have met on this Garden Web Forum!!! I may never meet most of them, but I care about them and KNOW I am cared about. So YOU remember that too, K?!!! Jane

Thanks, silvamae and calamity, for your support and kind words. I know I haven't been on this site as long as some, but I do like to post and comment and share my work. I could see how nice and how friendly everyone is here, and that is what kept me coming back.

I had agreed to Slow's idea that she and I would attempt an online project together, and I didn't want her to think I had disappeared (or chickened out), so I figured I could come here and let you all know where I went.

I can't wait to make more mosaics, I had just scored a bunch of glass, and the grinder, then this. So it is all on hold for right now, but when I feel better, look out!!!

Thank you again
Judy

OHMYGOODNESS!!!!!!!!! This truly is sad news. I just returned from a weekend in Dallas, and after unpacking, shower/shampoo, and sitting w/my sister, who is visiting from AZ, I thought I'd check in the forum. GC, I'm so sorry for you. I'll add you to my prayer list, for sure. Bless your heart. Like SILVA says, your creativity is just on hold right now. Take heart, and talk to God, tell Him how you feel, and your desire for Him to see you through this process. Like CALAM said, we care for the people on this forum just as if they were our real friends - not just cyber friends. Come and share w/us anthing, anytime. I don't feel like posting on the other side today - might tomorrow, but HAD to respond to your post.

Thanks, Slow, for your kind words and prayers. I am doing ok, just want to get this surgery over and done with this Friday. Haven't had much surgery before, the only other was my lumpectomy back in 2004.
The hardest part was telling my 11 year old. He is so sweet, and I love him to pieces, and did not want to scare him half to death. But it went ok. I am scared, but there is so much they are doing now, and it was caught pretty early.
To make matters worse, DH got laid off effective in 2 weeks. It's such a hard time for so many people right now, I hope our economy is able to turn itself right again, soon.
I know I don't "know" you guys, but I find comfort in talking about it. I always worry about making others uncomfortable, though, because not everyone is like me.
I don't mind being open with my breast cancer, because the way I look at it is that if I tell someone about it, and they have maybe been putting off their mammogram, maybe they will think twice and go in and get it done. I was only 40 the first time around, many of my friends weren't worried about the possibility of breast cancer yet, but they did go in after I told them what happened to me. It's always better to be on the safe side.

Anyway, thanks again. I will let you all know how I do after surgery, hopefully it will be a quick recovery.
Judy

Oh Judy, so sorry to hear this.
My prayers are with you.

Judy,
I am so sorry to hear your news. I don't get to post much on the other side these days, but checking in here always help me feel contacted. You need to be sure and do the same - check in as often as possible because we will all be here praying and pulling for you. What the others are saying is right - we don't have to have met in person to know what kind caring people we are. We are your friends and we're here for you. My prayers go out to you and your family.
Ann

I have not checked in here in a while .I am so very sorry .I will be praying for you .Life is so scarry I have had a lot of can. around me latly (DF & rel) it just stinks.

I really never check this side of the board and just now, something said to check this side..
you were the first post
I can't ignore it and want to add my sincere wishes for a recovery that will put you back into feeling creative.
my mentor, who has been my mom's friend for the past nearly 40 years, is just this week, finishing up her treatments.
I think Thursday is her final radiation, after the months of chemo.
she was in good spirits, with a ton if support from many who didn't know her.
the same will be with you, through this site.
another close friend of mine is in her third year of being breast cancer free, after surgery..
yes, it surrounds us and prayers and well wishes will tip the scales in your favor.

be strong, focused, secure in your network of friends and if you can't mosaic, at least try to keep a journal of ideas.
sketch book, or something, to carry with you, cuz you never know when the idea of a lifetime may jump into your head!

glad to meet you and will follow your journey..

Becky, from Washington State

Thank you all, it really makes me feel good to hear your positive comments. I have found that it is sometimes easier to talk to friends online, that they seem to understand and say the right things. In person, everyone seems so awkward and unsure of what to say. Knowing how kind everyone is on this website, and being that I plan to be here posting and mosaicing for a long time to come, I just wanted to share this here.

Becky, I am glad to hear that your friends are doing well in their fight against this disease, and I hope they do well for many, many years to come. I've read many stories where b.c. patients survive well into their golden years, with no recurrences. They've come a long way in understanding and treating this disease.

While I may be scared, sad, and uninspired right now, I know that things will turn around after a while. I am trying to psyche myself up for the surgery this Friday, but after I recover from that, I just want my life back. I know I still have chemo to endure, but I can do it, I am strong (I think)!

Thanks to all for your support
Judy

Don't just think it - know it! You are strong! My prayers are with you today as you go through your surgery. Hope to be hearing from you again soon. We're all here for ya!
Ann

I know it's too soon to hear anything, but just checking in anyway to say that we are thinking about you and waiting to hear! Positive thoughts . . . .

hi all. i am alive and as well as can be expected. typing with one hand so bear with me. i had my surgery at 9am and was home at 7pm. very sore and tired, but glad it;s over and the stupid lump is out of me.

they gave me the option of staying overnight but i just wanted to come home with my family where it's comfortable.

i'll check back in with all you kind ladies later

judy b

Sorry I haven't been posting much and hardly read this side.Hope you are feeling better ,now that is is out and your are home.I can't imagine the fear you have had..I will tell you my sister in law has survived 4 diffirent cancers since she was in her 30's she is now 60.She has had breast cancer twice,colon cancer,and then in her spine...at this time she is doing well and they have it under control again.Please know that it can be beat and if not it is controlable for many many years.we never understand why god chose us to bear this but I know there has to be a reason...you are stong and a positive attitude will help you get thru it and survive,the one I told you about is the most positive person I know and I know that has helped her get thru it every time.We are all thinking of you ,talk when ever you want...if you want my sister inlaws e-mail I will give it to you after I let her know.

Hugs and many prayers from here, too. So happy you came thru surgery well. Will definitely be checking in here more often to keep up with your positive progress.

Pat

may strength be with you for the treatments. try to take it easy, it will affect lifting your arms for a while. did you have to have the radical? I'm thinking about you...

thank you girls, I am doing ok so far. pain is not too bad, it's more the stiffness/itching/weakness. not really having any pain at this point, which is strange after such a surgery. NT, I had a simple bilateral mastectomy, since they only took 6 lymph nodes and not all of them. My last b.c. was on the right side, this time was the left side, so I just decided they both had to go. I do not start reconstruction until after chemo, if I don't chicken out by then.

felt rather sick today, so am just laying around. I did take my first shower tonight....seeing the surgical site was very difficult for me. it's just not fair, but I am glad to have the cancer out of me. one day at a time, I guess.

Judy B

Sending you positive thought, Judy.
HOpe that things are better for you by now.
Katie

Thanks Katie. I am up and about now, back to work. I start chemo next week, so I am nervous about that. Chemo will take a long time since I am joining in a trial study, so 26 weeks of chemo for me! Well, at least I won't have to shave my legs all summer :)

My hubby brought home a space heater, so now I can venture back into the basement to work on mosaics....I am in the middle of making a block light with a cross on it, so maybe I can finish that this week.
Judy

Dear Judy,
This is the first time I have come over to the conversation side. I so feel for you. Hope you are doing better now. Will say a prayer for your recovery and healing. Bless your heart, what a horrible thing to go through...Dottie

Thanks Dottie, that's very sweet.

I go for my 2nd chemo tomorrow (well, today now). The first one was tougher than I thought it would be, but I'm ok now. And then last week my mom went into the hospital; she needs a bypass this week. Way too much stress right now.

Losing some hair today, very weird. Nervous about wearing a wig, and I think my 11 year old son is rather unnerved at the thought that his mother's long blonde hair is going to all fall out.

I actually went downstairs to glue the cross I made onto a light block, and it fell to pieces. I just wasn't surprised, just soaked all the tiny pieces to get the glue off, and went back upstairs. It would have been really pretty, it was amber, brown and red.

Well, off to bed.
Judy

Judy, my prayers and positive vibes are with you. You are not alone. We are here .
Lori

Hope you are doing well.

I hope you are doing well too. Will keep praying for your recovery. Hugs, Dottie

Thanking about you Judy...

Hi everyone. Just thought I should check in and let you know I'm still here. Chemo has been kicking my butt, I'll say that much. I just finished the first segment, which was the tough stuff, and as my doctor puts it, I had a lot more trouble than most women with side effects.

I ended up in the hospital with a pulmonary embolism and pneumonia, and was laid out on the couch for days on end after each treatment.

Good news is that the first segment of chemo is now done, we had to stop it early due to side effects. I just started the second round of chemo, which has totally different side effects, but hopefully easier ones.

Still have not done any mosaicing, way too sick and tired to even move, but hope to get back to it in the summer. My husband found an old drafting table by the curb last week, it is bigger than my old work table, so he refinished it and just put it downstairs in my workshop today. It gives me so much more room to work! Can't wait to get back to mosaicing.

Thanks for being here for me, it means a lot. I hadn't been online much lately, but wanted to let you know that I'm hanging in there.

Judy

Just wondering how you're doing, & hoping things are better for you.

Gosh Judy. I just slipped over here, not on this forum a whole lot lately, and not on this side in a looong time. Your thread just touches me. I am 46, with a few health "inconveniences" compared to what you are going through. I sincerely pray for your complete recovery. I do believe God is fully able to heal, though I can't begin to understand why He does or doesn't. Do keep us posted, and may God bless YOU, Judy!

Geez, I haven't been here in a while....thanks to all of you for your kindness.

My update: I finished chemo early, on June 2nd. We had to stop because of side effects. I am slowly getting my strength back, but still very tired, and achy as heck. I feel like I aged 30 years. But all of that should fade over the next few months.

I am still on blood thinners, so handling sharp things does make me nervous, lol. That being said, I did pull out my wet saw this week, and started working on my daughter's table (I posted about this on the other side). It felt good to do something 'normal'. It was a great distraction from worrying, too.

I appreciate, again, everyone's well wishes. I don't know what may happen in the future, but I guess I need to live in the moment, and not spend my time worrying about the future. Easier said than done, but I'm trying. I had a very rare, aggressive type of cancer (less than 1% of all breast cancers are this type), so recurrence is a big possibility....I could drive myself crazy thinking about it, so I need to do something to distract myself...and mosaicing is perfect! It's also fun and creative and I'm glad to be back.

Hope everyone is doing well, and I wish you all good health.

Judy

Judy- Just keep your chin up and keep busy, that is the best therapy. When I need to not be sad I mosaic. Seems if I keep my mind busy on that, I can't dwell on other things. I too am taking blood thinners for the last two years and I cut myself and bleed freely but I keep bandaids close all the time. My worst cuts have been when wearing shorts and working on something and drop it, my natural instinct has been to quickly put my legs together to catch it....LOL..many times I have caught it between my legs and punctured myself...if that isn't a site..LOL try explaining both thighs bleeding at the same time. What a hoot! Just be careful and have fun. I am so glad you are doing better. I wish I was there to cheer you up/
Carol

Judy, I've just returned and found your message here. Please know my heart is with you. I hope you find that following others here...even if you can't get "up" do mosaic yourself...will provide you some time out and enjoyment. Hopefully you will feel better soon. OUr thoughts and prayers are with you, Hon.

Judy I hope you are doing better. You have gone thru so much and still visit us. Keep us in your thoughts so that we can keep you in ours. Chemo can take a toll on the body. We do have you in our prayers, so drop in often so that we know how you're doing.

Kat

Judy,
My prayers also go out in your behalf. May God richly bless you today and in days to come...