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esga

Finally moving in with my husband

esga
9 years ago

we've been married a little over 2 years; we are in our early 60s. We live in a very small city (pop. perhaps 1000) over pretty small homes (average is probably around 1200 s.f.) that we both love. His house is 1500 s.f, mine 1300. I have cats he is severely allergic to (but he really likes them which is part of the problem, he ends up horribly blotchy even after taking allergy meds); he has a dog who can't be trusted around smaller animals.

We are turning his 600 s.f garage into living space for me and the cats. His house only has one bedroom. Part of the 1500 sf. is enclosed fomer porches, which are very narrow. So altogether we will have 2100 s.f but I hope you will allow me here anyway. The former porches are unheated and therefore not year-round living space in Atlanta.

We are at about the midway point in turning the garage into the studio (or salon; we haven't decided on which. Other people in town refer to it as the "cat house" and I am afraid that is the name that will stick). As the 4 cats will be downsized from 1300 s.f into 600, there will be a 50 s.f "catio" on the side of the studio - that's a cedar and wire structure that they can access by a cat door. It will also contain several litter boxes.

The studio has a 9.5 x 10' bathroom, but so far I have not put up a wall for the sleeping area. I want to see what the light inside is like first. It's very shady. There are French doors on the west side (next to the catio), a main entry door flanked by 2 large windows on the south (the main entry), and a door on the east, which leads to the backyard of the main house. In fact, there's a bit too much door and window space compared to wall space - I need wall space for bookcases, my mother's and grandmother's artwork, and textiles that I have collected.

At least at first, I am moving a futon couch but not a bed. One dilemma is that my clothes will have to be split between the bedroom in the house and the studio. There isn't enough room in the main bedroom for all of them. So there will have to be room for closets in the studio as well.

There will be a tiny kitchenette - really just a sink, dorm-sized fridge, and enough countertop for a microwave, electric kettle, and a dishrack. Otherwise, I need display shelf space more than counter space.

It has a sort of cathedral ceiling, not too high.

I am both excited and highly anxious. This is my first marriage, his second. I am giving up my entire adult life of independence for this, and it's scary. At the same time, I am having to get all the pieces together - ordering sinks and fixtures and flooring and picking out paint is keeping me too busy to worry too much!

Comments (10)

  • finallyhome
    9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Congrats on the new way of living. I'm always impressed with women that get married later in life. Of course, I do sometimes like new beginnings.

    You had me when you started describing what you are doing for the cats. Also, gotta love a guy that likes cats even when he is blowing his nose.

  • desertsteph
    9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    boy, you're jumping in with both feet, aren't ya? Having been divorced for 30 some yrs I've often said if I ever remarried it'd require 2 homes... at least a double house. He'd get the smaller space tho - lol!
    That it's scary and you're anxious is very understandable. You are braver than I would be.
    we'll just go on your 600 sf!
    I'm sure everyone here would be glad to help you. ML has good experience in utilizing every inch of space.

    Can you post a graph paper layout of the space? using a block for each 6" and marking all doors and windows (include cat door) and line in the bathroom (and it's door).

    Is the bathroom already done?

    btw, do you have a time deadline?

    And - congrats on the marriage!

  • esga
    Original Author
    9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I've tried the graph paper, fun but doesn't really work for me because 3 dimensional space is completely different to someone like me eith no visual imagination.

    An interior designer laid out the bathroom several times and then I changed it around. I don't know anyone but me who even wants to understand universal design - including my husband, who thinks it's a bunch of baloney.
    The contractor likes what he hears but does not already know.

    I tjought 2 houses would work better thsn it has, but it's been miserable for me. I commute 2 hrs daily, then spend time at his house becase of his cat allergies, so I feel like I am never in my space.

    His living room is a brown cave, all earth colors - I need light and brighter colos, sl we agreed early on that we would each have our own living room area and try to mske the rest of the main house "ours." But even tjough it's easier for me to let go of things than it is for him and I resolved from early onthat I would have to get rid of way more than he would, now that the time is here it's hard, and I am both sad and resentful at times. So you might see some rants.

  • User
    9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Hello Elizabeth, and a hearty welcome to the forum. You have very interesting issues in your life, and I find them stimulating. I've dealt with a lot of change in my life as well.

    Steph refers to me when she said "ML" which is a shortcut to typing my full screen name. Others say "Mocc", and I answer to any.

    You've come to the right place to discuss dealing with unique spaces, different lifestyles.

    I was divorced for 32 years when I finally remarried. My new DH was the man I had been engaged to 50 years before. Otherwise, I'd still be single. Somehow with remarriage later in life, you are not hemmed in by traditional arrangements.
    I can appreciate your dilemma very well. In fact, the thread CHANGE FOR THE SAKE OF CHANGE sort of discusses our different approach to our dwelling.

    I need light too. Bringing LIGHT into a house is so important to happiness. Science even says that the winter blahs are brought on by the lack of natural light. I am not attached to THINGS as much as he is either.

    Please hang in there with us, and I bet you find many friends here. We are a cyber neighborhood, and on Tuesdays we even have TEA together or almost together, on the other side of this forum (the off topic and chatty side--although we consider living IN a house on topic as much for a smaller home as anything else).

    First off, make your space comfortable for yourself. Decide what it will take to please YOU. I bet that you don't need walls dividing the space but room dividers which help keep the light going through the whole area. I'd look into getting a few of the LIGHT TUBES which are not skylights, but bring natural light anywhere you wish. Take a look outdoors, and see if trimming up the trees higher would help lighten the space.

    Take pictures. If you make a drawing of your space, even with a felt tip pen, you can snap a picture of it and we'll get some idea of the setup. I always need to know where NORTH is on your drawing, because that information tells me what sort of light you have inside.

    One thing I did when I bought MoccasinLanding many years ago (it was my first home purchased after I divorced) was to paint everything white. I enjoyed the clean brighter look for a long time, and then began applying color as I grew familiar with the natural light in each room. I also began changing out the exterior doors and the interior ones. I got a single french door (20 panes of glass) on the kitchen to bring light into that CAVE. I got a new lovely front door with leaded glass on the top half...it sparkled as the sun set. I had a dark hallway, so I put french doors on two of the smaller bedrooms. They let light into the hallway very well. I used the smallest bedroom as a study/computer room, and sponged a coat of soft yellow paint over the white walls. Oh boy that made the walls almost disappear and only a bright shimmer remained. No longer an 8 x 9 foot bedroom. I had a desk made of 2 filing cabs with a thick piece of glass for a desk top, and a comfortable rolling chair. One 8' end of the room was wire shelving, with my books and favorite items displayed. I thought about hanging long clothes on the higher wire shelf, and mounting a huge beach blanket on a galvanized pipe rod to hide it, but I had other closets to put clothing in, and this was my study for the 18 years I owned the home.

    So you see, you can do what you like with your space.
    If you are new to Atlanta, I hope you soon make friends there. So much is going on there. Why do you commute 2 hours a day? Do you still work? I can see how you have little time for yourself, especially if you spend your free hours in his house.

    Please note that you are ideally located to find help by visiting the IKEA store. Wish I had one here! They have inexpensive pieces which could make your private space gorgeous. Check out their store for ideas. I plan to drive from Mobile to Atlanta specifically to visit IKEA, it is the store closest to us.

    But we'll discuss all the possibilities as time goes on. You'll find a way to claim personal time as well as space. It will make the relationship balance out.

  • desertsteph
    9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    "I've tried the graph paper, fun but doesn't really work for me because 3 dimensional space is completely different to someone like me eith no visual imagination"

    aahhh! but it does work for those of us used to working on remodels // the kit or bath forums...

    when you post this -

    "There are French doors on the west side (next to the catio), a main entry door flanked by 2 large windows on the south (the main entry), and a door on the east, which leads to the backyard of the main house. In fact, there's a bit too much door and window space compared to wall space"

    Then I'll ask how wide are the FDs? how much space between FD and catio? Where IS the entry door? how wide are those windows? How much space between the door and each window? Which side is east? and then ML will post to ask which way is north? Then someone else will post to ask where you'll have access to plumbing etc. Your info will end up in numerous posts that will be hard to track. The LO will tell us all of those things in 1 post.

    the best way for us to visualize it is with a layout on graph paper with the measurements. That tells us how much space you have between doors, windows... etc.

    There are a good number of posts on kitchens now asking for help on their kitchen layout - take a look at a few LOs posted to see what is needed /given.

    Some do post a 3D graphics too and there are programs to make those. Those don't help with a room layout tho. They do help to see how a 3 drawer stack looks next to a 4 drawer stack or how a stack of 24" wide drawers looks to the left of a stove with a 36" stack to the right of the stove etc.

    The LO provides us the info to know what can be put into what space without putting a fridge (or a dresser or a bookcase) in front of a door or a 4' futon in a 24" space. It tells us what spaces (and sizes) are available to work with and what needs worked around.

  • desertsteph
    9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I had to go to p5 on kitchens to find a fairly well done layout! It is still rather difficult to read. Some enlarge when clicked on tho. Often the measurements are hard to read. link posted below for it.

    btw, did you / are you commuting to a larger city for work? I used to commute an hr each way back in the late 80s. was glad when that ended!

    2 houses - I meant 2 houses next to each other - or maybe one built as a U with a side for each of us and a main area to share. probably better I never remarry - I have no desire to anyway. I like my aloneness after all these yrs.

    check out the link. your layout would basically be just the walls of the space (with doors/windows) with bathroom space.
    Is the bathroom done already?

    Here is a link that might be useful: kitchens p5

  • User
    9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Ge Steph, you said it so well earlier, I just caught that post of yours to this thread, since Yahoo took their own sweet time sending it this way. You sound so professional calling them three drawer stacks and two drawer stacks and 24 inch cabs compared to 36 inch cabs. Very knowledgeable. All that time you spend over with the kitchen folks really rubbed off on you. I need to spend more time over there I suppose.

    I also read a thread from the Decor Forum that was featured on the marquee to the right of the forum posts. I know I spent a good hour reading them. That was the thread about living in a magazine house....and I saw some familiar Smaller Homes names contributing as well. The idea of having threads from other forums featured on a marquee is one of the better new features on GWeb.

  • esga
    Original Author
    9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Thanks for the encouragement, folks. I have shown up here from time to time but haven't had anything active until now.

    Most of the design phase is over and I will have to live with the major decisions I have made, like doors and windows. I plan to move in 3 weeks! The kitchen will have a 36" base cabinet for the sink and a 12" base cabinet next to it, as well as the dorm sized fridge. I would like to extend the counter (butcher block) over the fridge, which means a support of some kind on the other side of the fridge. I will have a 15" sink. That wall is only 9.5', I think, and I am using 3' for a display unit I am bringing from my house. At least at first. I can add more cabinets later, if that's what I want.

    We live in a tiny incorporated city to the east of Atlanta. I work at a university northwest of Atlanta. It's a great job and I hope will be my last before I retire. I moved to the city (the Pine Lake of my name) when I moved to Atlanta, by myself, at the age of about 45. Pine Lake is a small house community; it was originally summer homes on 20' lots, but over the years people built year-round homes on bigger lots. Still, until the last 10 years, 2BR 1 bath houses were the norm. So having 1300 square feet to myself made me almost a mansion owner. Around 2001 - 2003 there was a boomlet with spec builders building ordinary suburban-type houses which really stick out (some even have 2 storeys!). We have some enormous 2400 s.f. houses too. I was on city council for a while, and then on the planning board that revolted and wrote the first real housing code that said, this is a small house community. We abolished the minimum house size and made the upper limit 2400 s.f. and one and a half storeys. One thing that makes the place special is that for the most part the houses were very individual, and we tried to write a code that encouraged individuality (very hard to do).

    George and I looked at all the houses that came onto the market over the last 4 y ears for something that would accommodate the cats separately from him (because of the allergies and his killer dog). Finally we decided to turn the garage into my space after going down a couple wrong roads. We did look at a couple other communities, but Pine Lake suits us both. For one thing, my 3 best friends are there. They have all known me a lot longer than George has, and being able to be in and out of each other's houses all the time balances the horrible commute for me I will retire in 3 - 5 years, so it's the rest of my life, beyond the job.

    I have thought about solar tubes; the problem is the trees. We are a tree-hugging city and can't take down healthy trees. We did thin out one of the trees that shades the former-garage-now-studio. My current house has one of the few sunny front yards, and it's one of things I will really miss!

    The IKEA is a real resource for me. I wish I could drag George there more often!

    The reason I am moving in 3 weeks is because I work for a university that shuts down for 2 weeks for winter break. We are being consolidated with another university starting in January, and because there are so many issues to be dealt with, we won't have any major leave from January through the end of March (i.e., I can't take a week off to move but you can get time to go to the doctor or visit your aging parents for a long weekend). I want to do this all at once, not in fits and starts on weekends (how exhausting), and anyway I will still have to get my present home ready for the market. So I am determined that I will have the certificate of occupancy by December 20, and start moving some furniture.

    There's a cat-shifting plan too: the oldest, crankiest one first, with another female cat who she tolerates pretty well. The male cats will have to wait a bit. I will have to make sure there's enough familiar and beloved stuff (sleeping places, toys) in each place so neither set gets freaked out. George was astonished by this, but he has a mere dog, who is happy whenever and wherever she is with him. Cats are not so simple.

    Well, I am anxious beyond belief, so it's a good thing I am distracted by ordering faucets, lights and locks.

  • User
    9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Pinelake sounds sort of like Chataquah or some other communities I have heard of which were so popular around the turn of the LAST century in the north. I think it endured even to the times of the Roosevelts as well.

    I find your story so filled with adventure and twists and turns to delight an author of historical romances or Eudora Welty or even Margaret Mitchell.....from Atlanta herself. They all liked strong southern women!

    Elisa, you make brave new beginnings. Admirable quality.

  • Shades_of_idaho
    9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Elisabeth,

    I understand the cat moving thing being the Mom to 9 kitties. We also have a Catico.

    I agree with Steph. If you could just do a graph of the floor plan it might get better responses and ideas how to handle what you need to make your space comfortable.

    I have one question. How does DH handle the cat on you when you go to his side of the house. I know I am sure I am always covered in ct or dog hair and I do keep covers and throws on the furniture but still I feel it is impossible to de-hair myself. Not only car hair but my own that is falling out by handfuls.

    Happy to have you here. I am always nervous moving my kitties. The catico really helps though.

    Chris

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