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This isn't really related to my house but....

Posted by sandy808 (My Page) on
Sat, Jun 4, 11 at 10:32

Because we have such a good and tolerant group here, and many of you have become my friends, I thought you wouldn't mind me sharing.I think it may help me.

In a previous post about building stress I mentioned one of my kitties being ill. Well, he was more ill than I thought and the most loving thing I could do for him was let him go.

He has always had dental problems and I took him to a very good vet to have him sedated and looked at thoroughly. I believed when I went to pick hime up that evening I would be bringing him home, with surgery scheduled for him. When I called to see if he was ready she said we had to talk.

A few years ago he had an infected tooth and a hard lump on his jaw. He had the tooth extracted and at that time another vet thought he might have bone cancer, but a biopsy showed inflammation and not cancer, so we treated him with a month of antibiotics. He was fine after that but still had the lump which x-rays showed could be calcium deposit. I was so happy.

We moved and he was fine. He played and was so much fun. The past month he seemed not himself, and quit playing with some of his toys. He wsa still cuddly and loving. i thought he was just bored with his toy. Then about three weeks ago I noticed his eyes were cloudy when I looked into them deeply. He had lost some weight, so I took him in to get his eyes looked at. The vet gave him an antibiotic shot for a scatch he saw on Thomas's cornea and said bring him back if he didn't perk up. Thomas was not cooperative to have a good exam and we all agreed he would need to be sedated in order to let the vet check him over well.

Well, once the two week antibiotic wore off, he wasn't eating well and the eyes were still cloudy deep down so I took him in Thurdsay. An x-ray showed a huge dense tumor that had consumed his lower jaw. The vet, who is a wonderful, compassionate lady said she could fix the bad teeth situation, but she couldn't fix this. He was in extreme pain (which I was horrified to find out) and the kindest, most loving thing was to let him go. We said our goodbys and she brought him to us curled up with his blanket in a box for us to take home with us.

My husband made a beautiful casket out of left over log siding from our house for him. We buried him on the east side of our house near our porch and near a tree I just planted. He has a garden angel watching over him and some pretty yellow daylillies on his grave.

I can't wait for our house to be finished so I can be near him. I am so heartbroken and at times the grief suffocates me. He was a gentle angel and very special. I miss him so much. How does one ever fill the hole in tthat is left in your heart. Not sure you can.

Thanks for letting me share.

Sandy


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

Sandy, this is an excrutiatingly beautiful story of love and compassion. Our animals are an important part of our lives, and I feel the pain of your loss.

Rainbow Bridge is the place our animals go to await our arrival when we can pass together into the afterlife. They feel no pain there, just joy. You have not lost him. This is a solace many of us who have beloved animals can live with when the time comes.

Maybe you have a photo of Thomas you can share with us? Have you mastered the art of uploading photos yet?


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

I will see if Craig can post a photo of him sometime today. Thank goodness I took a few nice pictures of him when we first moved here a year and a half ago. He was a beautiful Tuxedo kitty that no one else wanted at the shelter. He was only 6 years old when he died.

This morning a beautiful orange butterfly passed by yhje window I was looking out while having coffee. I have never seen a butterfly in that area before. I'd like to think he was soaring on those wings.

I miss him at my side while on the computer.

I was raised catholic and of coarse they don't believe that our pets go to heaven with us. I disagree with much of their teachings now. I believe they are angels God sends us and they have a soul. I sincerely hope there is indeed a Rainbow Bridge and Thomas is waiting for me. I do feel his spirit around me when I go outdoors near his grave.

Sandy


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

I posted a thread on this same subject under the 'Conversation' side, but not many go there. I fully understand your loss, Sandy, as we had to have our 15 y/o dog, Babe put down Tuesday. She had a lot of old-age problems, but a large tumor suddenly developed on her jaw, and they couldn't do anything. Last weekend, she got her own piece of smoked brisket, and her own bowl of ice cream!

Now we're going to have to wait until we are established in SC before getting another dog, so we'll be dogless for at least a year or so.

Photobucket


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

Sandy & flgargoyle, I am so sorry for both of your losses. It's so hard to lose a pet and especially that way. Both of our last two dogs had cancer. I'd like to think that the sudden memory of something they did, or the feeling that they should be waiting at the gate for us is their spirit living on with us. It will take time, but it does get better Nancy. Don't force yourself to move on or pretend the grief isn't there. It's normal for you to go through the grief process, whether it is for a beloved person or a beloved pet.


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

oh my. I've been thinking of posting on conversations also. I had to put my boy down in April. It's been very hard dealing with that. A few wks later I found out that my neighbors put their boy down the same week. Their boy was our friend. I had gma (or Auntie) rights with him. He was also in line right after my 2 for me. I took care of him the 1st wk or so of his life as his humans were on vacation. He'd often wander over to 'play' with my boy and girl... have a bite to eat and a cookie...then I'd walk him home.

the suffocation of grief is a great description. Each day I think about not seeing my boy's beautiful face or giving him a hug and a kiss and it does seem to suck the breath right out of me. I so know the pit inside you are both living with at this time.

I haven't even been able to look at a pic of him yet. I had some on my camera that loaded onto the computer with some others and I had to scroll quickly past them.

a number of yrs back I ran across a Bible verse that I remember caused me to think that our animals will be with us in the afterlife. They are God's creatures - special ones He sends here to help us. They are heart and soul healing - and pleasing. Someday I'll find that verse again... it wouldn't surprise me at all that they are angels He has sent here for us.

I'll have to post a bit more about them being angels on conversations soon. it's a bit more than I want to type up today yet.


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

We lost our Golden two years ago. She was fifteen years old when she passed away at home. I think about her every day. We were lucky that she died of old age and we knew it was happening as she became more and more frail in her last year of life. With time you will be able to think of your pet with fond memores rather than sadness.


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

It is so comnforting to see such caring from all of you. I think this is a good place to share our grief and don't feel with this group it needs to go into a different forum. I am so sorry about all of your losses, and appreciate your sharing with me.

desertsteph, if you run across that bible verse it would be wonderful to read it. You don't have to post the whole thing. I have a bible and can look it up if I know where to look.

I am sorry about all of your losses as well. I am wondering what is causing all the jaw bone tumors in cats and dogs. Could it be the flea control stuff we use? I can't figure it out, but it sure seems like it shouldn't be as common a cancer as it is. Something is causing pets to get this, and it's most likely covered up.

I went to visit Thomas's grave tonight. I visit him every day. I added a persimon tree this evening to my "orchard" and told him he's in charge of the fruit trees.

I'll be back in touch. My husband just made a nice bonfire outside and has a glass of red wine waiting. I hope it helps me sleep better.

Sandy


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Thomas photos uploaded for Sandy808

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Lovely cat, Sandy. And that quilt is gorgeous too.


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

Thank you for posting my beautiful baby. I still cry when I see his pictures. Thank you about the quilt. I made it a long time ago and it is starting to fray badly now, so I put it away. I'll have to make a new one someday. Maybe Thomas will inspire my leaden heart to tackle a project soon, but right now I'm barely treading water....

Sandy


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

sandy - that verse has been on my mind a lot lately... maybe I'll spend a bit of time searching for it this coming weekend. I'll post it when I find it.

on the jaw cancer - something in their toys? their food? water? I won't buy mine a toy if it's not made in US. and I check food ingredients before buying a food too.


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

I think this spring has been especially hard on elderly pets, because it sure has been hard on me. Used to, it seemed that the elderly succumbed at the end of a hard winter. Now we are stressing over severe springtime weather. My little maltese boy, Moon Pie, will be 12 this December, and he is so crippled up I worry about him too. He stays by my side every step I take. Our pets are very much a part of the family, God bless them.


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

I think we live in such a toxic world that being cautious about materials in toys, and ingredients in food are so important. I try to buy U.S. made toys and the best food I could possibly find. I even have considered making my cat food and freezing the portions, but unfortunately most of the supplements are made in China nowadays....even people supplements. I'm still looking into it.

I had the opportunity to talk with the vet about Thomas a couple of days ago, as I took Bella in to be checked. She is 8 years old and wasn't doing too great after Thomas died. Thank goodness she received a perfect bill of health. She is going through a grieving process as well. She is doing much better now and being snuggly.

Basically, the vet said that jaw cancer seems to be more common in dogs, but rare in a cat. There isn't much information as to causes. However, Thomas had some teeth in the past that become infected, and she said that chronic inflammation is a known cancer causer. That poor kitty endured 4 dental surgeries all together to get those bad teeth out, but he was a happy kitty and I'm thankful for the extra time it bought us.

At the time, decisions were made with a cat specialist vet to save what looked to be healthy teeth and only take anything out that was infected. In hindsight, maybe taking them ALL out in the beginning may have made a difference. Some cats have teeth issues from day one and when they get them all out do much better. Then again, maybe not. We won't know for sure, and at the time we made the best decisions possible. Unfortunately, jaw bone cancer was something that couldn't be fixed.

I am very thankful I have all my other kitties. They are all precious to me, and have been a source of comfort. I have had a hard time sitting at the computer because Thomas would always lie down next to me on the arm of the couch. It has been very, very empty there and it hit me hard a few days ago. The next day one of the kitties parked himself there. Bella came the day after that and satyed with me. There is usually a kitty now when I am on the computer. I am positive that Thomas had something to do with that!

Each day gets a little easier...the pain a little less, and the memories bring a smile. There will always be a little ache in my heart though. I miss him. I will always miss him.

Sandy


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

How sweet that the other kitties are stepping in to fill the void left by Thomas' departure. As Marti said, in time the happy memories will return and dull the pain you feel now. Not that you will NOT miss him, but the love will triumph over the pain. Sweet kitty angels everywhere.


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

"He stays by my side every step I take"

my girl does that also. I swear she'll wear her legs out getting up and down, back and forth to stay with me as I go from room to room (makes it hard to work on cleaning/packing etc). If i go to brush my teeth, she is there watching me... I think a lot of it now is her not wanting to be alone - she can't hear much, don't know that she sees much either. If she falls over she can no longer get herself up (easily anyway) and she'll shake. when I'm here I rush to her and pet her, talk to her and help her right herself again. Not sure what happens when I'm not home. I know that I try not to go out a lot because of leaving her alone... not that I go out much normally. I can often tell something happened when I get home - a box knocked over, papers spilled on the floor etc. If I put her inside then go back out to do something I can hear her coming back to the door to look for me. She usually walks in front of me but stops often to look back to see if I'm still behind her. Bless her little fur heart!


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

I found this salt and pepper set by Sakura in their discontinued cat collection, but still available through the Replacements.com website.
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Reminds me of your little tuxedo guy and his pal on your quilt.


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

This is so cool! Thanks so much for letting me know about these....I'm going to try to get them. I hope they are still available when I get a chance later on today to sit and shop.

I've got one of my girl kitties at the vet right now who wasn't feeling good. They did blood work on her the other day and her blood sugar was out the roof. She spent yesterday there to do a complete diabetic work up on her and i can pick her up this afternoon.

Her sugar is down so they feel she is pre-diabetic and that the stress of losing Thomas made her sugar go crazy. She is only 7 and not overweight!

One interesting thing is that I had switched all my cats to EVO high protein, grain free cat food several months ago. Thinking perhaps I should vary their diet once in a while I started to give them some of the Royal Canin food they had been on before. I did this about a month ago. The vet feels there is a good chance that the stress combined with too many carbohydrates found in this other food (like most commercial cat food these days) triggered this episode.

Holly will be on their prescription diet at first, but then the vet told me to compare ingredients as she may be able to just stay on the EVO. We'll re-check her blood sugar in a few months.

Just thought I'd share this as I know many of us have had concerns with the food we've been giving our pets.

Can't wait to check for availability on these adorable salt and pepper shakers!

Sandy


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

I didn't know that about cat food. Where do you get the EVO? I've noticed my cat has some bald spots on his back and I can't figure out what is causing it. I forgot what I was eating one day, something sweet, and I was really surprised that the cat liked it. He is so picky that he seldom eats all of anything, even his favorite cat food, Friskys.


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RE: This isn't really related to my house but....

I mail order my kitty food through Petfooddirect.com since I live so far from everything. You can order most any brand of food there, and you will be able to check ingredients, etc. so that you can determine which one is best.

I tried the Wellness grain free food and none of my kitties liked it, but that's not to say someone else's wouldn't like it. Wellness puts cranberries in theirs so maybe mine just don't like the smell of cranberries.

I have a couple of picky furbabies as well.

Sandy


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