Dilemma...what to do?

16 years ago

My ex called me to wish me Merry Christmas. So strange, because he and I weren't actually speaking, or as he puts it, I wasn't speaking to him. He said he was calling everyone that was most important to him. Told me he loves me, and misses me.

I know, you can never go back, but also better the devil you know....

Still, I'm just gonna wait it out, still see this other guy, and see what happens. My ex has done this before, and it always ends up with us being just friends, and him finding someone else to actually date. So I guess I just answered my own questions.

As Dr. Phil says "You can judge future behavior by past behavior". Sometimes, just talking it out with friends makes it all so clear...get on with my life and put him in the past.

Love you guys! Happy New Year!

Comments (9)

eloise_ca
16 years ago
Well, here's my take on that. If you are not in love with the other guy you are dating (or him with you), and you don't fall for the lines your ex tells you, you could go out with him every once in a while just for fun. But, if you are still hung up on your ex, then I wouldn't even bother because you will end up being hurt.

Happy New Year jyg!
kayjones
16 years ago
JYG, in a situation like this, there is really no advice anyone can give you. Follow your heart and use your head. Do what is going to make you happy.

If you do decide to get back with the ex, don't take him back immediately - take it slow - make sure that it is what you want.

Good luck, and we love you, too!
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centralcacyclist
16 years ago
I also got a call I didn't expect. From the man I was involved with much of this past year. He caught me in vulnerable place, tired from many hours of yard work, after a glass of wine, on Christmas Eve. It began nicely but deteriorated leaving me feeling upset and abandoned all over again.
gneegirl
16 years ago
JYG - I know your situation well. It's tough. I do agree with K-J though. That's why I haven't responded to my ex's suggestion that we remarry. I still care and want so much to have my "family" back - well it would be just the 2 of us now since our DD is no longer with us. I haven't decided yet, and I think I'm just putting it off as long as I can because I don't want to go back to the same issues - and not all of them bad. In your case, just be sure that you are not responding to nostalgia. You know him, and he knows you, and that can contribute to the nostalgia. But it can also help cut through the newness, if you will. Just take this slow and talk about things - talk about why you aren't together. No fingerpointing; just healthy discussions that include what each of you would like to see in the relationship. That might help you to decide - and he as well. One thing that that my ex tells me is that he made a vow and that he cannot forget that. On the other hand, my step-mother keeps telling me, you can't chew cabbage twice. I don't know which is right, but, both ideas leave something to think about.

If you find that the two of you still have feelings, and also want to share a life then maybe do the date thing for a while without any strings attached. I wouldn't let go of the other possibility with your new friend just yet, but be careful not to string him along.

I wish you the best on this. Relationships are critical components of life (whether we singles admit it or not). Don't stress out about this though. You have the "upper hand". Take the time you need to make the decision. And, by all means, let him know that if it happens, he can't go running when things get tough or he decides someone else is out there.

here's hoping for you...

gng
lucy
16 years ago
If you don't go through counselling to air issues in a relatively civilized way, you're only going to end up back where you started, but getting some prof. help to put it all in perspective, by someone impartial and educated in sorting out dynamics between you, will go a long way towards helping with any decisions and even make possible 'hard' ones easier to understand.
kayjones
16 years ago
JYG, how are you?
gneegirl
16 years ago
OK, calling JYG!! You have fans here - inquiring fans want to know... How's it going???

Hope all is going well for ya!

gng
Tinmantu
16 years ago
I've been wondering about her too...hope everything is ok. We do think about you, lady.
gneegirl
16 years ago
we'll just have to keep trying to snuff her out - like we did you - LOL. Seriously though, JYG, let us know you are OK, even if you just check in and say "I'm here".

hugs to ya!!

gng

Dilemma...what to do?

Comments (9)

eloise_ca

kayjones

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