I would consider looking at other studios. I've seen it first hand--exactly what you describe. Like you, I'm convinced the snotty girls get their attitude from snotty mothers. My DD (10) has also been dancing for years at a studio I just love. Most of the parents are really nice and the girls seem to get along well. After 7 years we decided to change her to a new studio because we moved and the commute was killing us (you know how many classes a week these girls take when they LOVE to dance). Anyway, the new studio is exactly the way you described. OMG! It is ridiculous. The girls aren't mean to my DD, but they basically ignore her. And the mothers seem to view new dancers as "competition" for their precious prima donnas. UGH! I bet they are withholding information from you to put your DD at some kind of a disadvantage. Had I not witnessed this kind of thing for myself I would have never even thought of that. Trust me, not all studios are this way. We are seriously thinking abouting going back to the old studio. Good luck--I hope you find a way to resolve the situation. In my case, I don't think talking to the teachers or owner would even do any good because it is the whole ugly atmosphere that would need to change and they have plenty of people willing pay for it and put up with it, maybe even thrive on it.

ok, i just wanted to follow up now that i'm back on track. thank you all for the feedback. for full disclosure, i went through my own stages of grief. my first reaction was frustration that many of you were telling me not to use these curtains i was 100% planning to use and absolutely LOVE passionately when i was only asking for help on the means with which to hang them! then it turned to sadness that you don't like my drapes. then it turned to realization that i've had the same concerns about the formality and the length all along but didn't want to admit it because i love them so. then finally acceptance - these drapes have to go back. lol i more of the elements in the whole open space, and i think i'm on a much better track now. i'm scared to share my new plans because i love this new direction. :) i'm going to go with 1 panel on each window, hung all the way up near the beam at 120", side swooped outward and tied back with rope. i can't decide between opaque linen and textured linen, but i'm pretty sure i'm going with the spruce color from Restoration hardware. here's the look: but this is the color: unless you have tips for sources for lovely linen drapes in 120" length. i'm looking for something in a soft subtle minty green. these RH spruce drapes are more on the blue side. The RH ones are my max price range. any ideas for other places i should look? thank you all so much for your help in digesting the perspective i didn't want but desperately needed to see!

You're not a wife, or even a stepmother, but a live-in maid and sex slave. No one deserves to be treated like that and to me the miracle is that you've put up with it for so long. As has been said- get your affairs in order, and leave. Take with you info on bank accounts, insurance policies etc to assist with division of property in the divorce. Then find someone who will cherish you as it should be in a marriage. Your husband may be a preacher and attend a church, but if that is the way he behaves he is no Christian in my opinion and is a very poor role model for other Christians.

I think your header "I don't know how to handle my stepdaughter anymore", says a lot here when one then continues to read on. --"he reckons i should forgive her and move on"-- --"he is putting me under pressure to just be there for him and support him"-- --"has been told that she needs psychiatric help which her mother refuses to believe. Two counsellors have said this but she still wont listen".-- --"it just seems like her father is burying his head in the sand "-- --"i feel like i am been pressurised by him and his ex wife to change my feelings to do things i dont want to do i cant do it anymore."-- If these parents, both mom and dad, can not and will not help this girl, how do they expect you to? Pretend it's not happening? Forgive her? Hello? You're not the one with the problem and it would seem no one but you want to make it any better for anyone and especially not the girl. If Mom won't, Dad needs to get this girl into the recommended psychiatric help problems she needs. A full mental and physical eval. This girl is on a self destruction course which may have mental and/or physical underlings and it seems mom nor dad are taking it seriously. At the rate of what's been going on this girl is half a step away from being in serious trouble, danger, or worse. I think you need to tell your DH that the only way you can help and be supportive of him is when he finds the courage to do the right thing by his daughter and that must include seeking out whatever help and in whatever way the professionals lay out to get this girl treated and hopefully turned around. Mom and dad's denial just may end up costing the two of them their daughter in a very final way. Good luck to you, but remember 'you' can't help or handle the 3 of them if they don't want to be helped. "Forgiving' the girl and her actions/behavior does no good if nothing is done to help this girl get the help and support she really needs.