I want someone who is self-sufficient, who can live without a partner but doesn't WANT to. (Make sense?)

I expect us both to work at least 40 hours/week at our jobs and if I'm running late, I want to be able to call home and say "Honey, I'm ruinning late. Would you start supper (throw a load of clothes in the washer, etc.)" without having to give specific directions as to how to turn on the stove (washing machine, etc.).

What do YOU look for in a potential mate?

The rest of the list consists of all the usual expectations, such as consideration, kindness, a loving and overtly affectionate nature, a ready sense of humour (but NOT a practical joker!), intelligence (which incorporates having interests and hobbies and can carry a conversation, as well as being reasonably well educated), a person with self-confidence (but is NOT cocky) and so on. At my age, I still want a partner with all parts in reasonable working order. And, something not so common in my age group, I'd like a partner who is house-trained!

Strikes: LAZINESS, self-centered, controlling, liars, cheaters, etc. etc.

On the second tier - I'd prefer someone in my age group that I can reminisce with about the good old days. That makes him an old geezer but he should be reasonably healthy and enjoy being active. I like to go out for various entertainments; he should, too. And (tough for geezers) I'd like an equal partner in my golden years but I don't want to be a maid or a nurse.

A good sense of humor, formally or self educated, an inquiring mind. Someone who plays tennis and/or gardens or someone who enjoys that I do.

Someone who doesn't push an elevator button that is already lit would be the ultimate. That speaks volumes.

Teri

My last date, I kept talking about how I loved to hike and dance (not necessarily at the same time LOL) and the man told me on the ride home that he had a wooden leg. He was a very nice man and I would have enjoyed spending time with him and continued hiking and dancing alone but he did not call again ~sigh~

But I don't think the fact that I don't tell everything I know makes me dishonest. I think it makes me wise. Why burden a new relationship with old baggage? If asked specifics, I would certainly answer truthfully. But I think the Army has it right: Never Volunteer!

Teri

younger men always think I should be flattered when they tell me the age difference doesnt bother them. I just pat them on the arm and tell them nicely " but it does bother me"

I want someone who remembers the same music and history that I do.

I dont know why I told that litte story about my date with the man with the wooden leg except that if I had known up front, the conversation might have gone in another direction. It was sort of bionic and interesting and didnt bother me a bit. That must be one of those things that its hard to tell..."hello. my name is Fred and I have a wooden leg".

I like a sense of humor and a kind heart. I would also like my man to think I am beautiful even if I am not. I find I like the look of a man if I like the man and good looking doesnt matter if I dont.

For myself, considering a middle-aged person and learning they have little property, trashed credit, and a load of debt would not be attractive to me. In my experience, such characteristics are often indicators of significant future trouble relationship-wise. I prefer people -- friends and prospecive SO's -- who manage their lives well. Finances are certainly part of that. I'm not hung up on "wealth" but I insist upon competence.

Best of luck in your search for deep, non-materialistic chicks that are willing to carry you while you're finding your feet. You obviously have a lot to offer.

The toilet seat is a whole other issue, I have my bathroom and she has hers.

Fooled me.

Asolo - bite me.

Blacknumber1 - are you looking to stay home, cook, clean and have dinner ready when the "little woman" gets home from work? Do you do windows, laundry and walk the dog too?

Hey can I borrow $20.

You are funny though!

financially secure is a bonus, but I agree with asolo, be competent and have your finances in order.

dating sux! it's the same thing over and over again. I like going "solo"! It's less complicated, but I would like to have someone if....if only.

I'm sick of liars and cheaters like the rest of the women. Respect is right up there on the list. No whistlers, no smokers, and for gawdsake they have to have equipment that works and know how to use it well and in an unselfish way!

I'm familiar with the stories. However, be assured men haven't cornered the market on any of it. Self-interested opportunistic people come in every configuration. On the bright side, there are some awfully nice folks out there, too. Recalling an old Gerry Rafferty lyric: "After a while you get to recognize the signs. And if you get it wrong, you'll get right next time. Next time."

It's sad that people in general have to have all these bad qualities. My mother can tend to be a man basher and somewhere along the line I picked it up too....until one day when a male friend of mine said to me "why do you say those things, I've never done any of that to you" Ever since then I became aware of what I was saying and stopped. The fact of the matter is, for every negative thing a person can say about a man, it can also be said about a woman. We are different, we act different, we think different, we feel different. It's a fact.

There's this great book out called "what could he be thinking" by Michael Gurian. I think it's a great book for women to read who just cant understand why men act the way they do sometimes. It all boils down to the differences in teh make-up of the brain and of course the hormones.

It's help me a lot! I'm sure there are books out there for men to help understand women better to if any of them are interested.

*microwaves TV dinner, again*

Im not cheap, I'm just broke.

so it sounds like you just sit around and feel sorry for yourself becasue you have no money. you're too lazy to cook, maybe you're too lazy to go out and make improvements in your own life too.

what do you do for a living? do you even have a job? how old are you? do you have a diploma or degree?

NOYB, yes, under 30, yes.

And you guys take everything here way way too seriously.

A freak - yes as well.

blacknumber1, it's simple if you are so unhappy with your life, change it! You can do anything if you set your mind to it! Think positive........

If I'm to believe what I'm told, men are the same.

And the dance goes on.

I must be having a brain freeze day...not understanding your comments... can you spell it out differently?

Why not hook up with blacknumber1? It's only been four years since he last posted and I'm sure he's still available.

Yes sirree....hold on to life and share. That's the ticket.

I met my (then) FH when I was 39; at the time that I met him, I also met a guy who said that he did "yard work" when I asked him what he did for a living. *Yard Work!* I mean - I imagined him in his high school letter jacket, trundling his lawn mower from house to house - at the age of 40! Maybe I read too much into it, but that sounded neither mature nor financially secure.

Now I'm married to dh; of course, I married him for reasons other than the fact that he is financially secure. But it means a lot to know that although we will never be wealthy, we will be able to retire in comfort in another decade or so.