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The Single Life

Online Matchmaking

15 years ago

Just wondering. Has anyone here tried the match-making places online such as e-Harmony? I know several people who have tried it with mixed results.

Comments (18)

kayjones
15 years ago
I joined plentyoffish.com, a free site. I have corresponded with some very nice guys on there. I'm not ready to get in to the dating scene again, but the men on there seem honest and nice. I've never 'paid' for a date!
gabrielesgarden
15 years ago
i met my current BF of 13 months on singlesnet.com.

It's a free site also to some degree. You can make a profile and post a pic, and you can make contact with paying members and they can make contact with you if you are not a paying member, but two non-paying members can not make contact.

I talked to a few people on email, never as far as on the phone except with someone it turned out I knew from 20 years ago. Other than that, the only person i talked to on the phone and met is my BF.

I took the time to take the e-harmony test only to find out it was over $200....no way way I gonna pay that, or afford it for that matter.

I dont like the whole dating scene, and I really hope this one works out. It would be nice if he was the last! :-)
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sayhellonow
Original Author
15 years ago
Both of you have said the same thing I think: I hate dating, per se! It's fun up to about college age, but then it really gets tiresome, IMHO anyway.
kayjones
15 years ago
Deb, I LOVE to get dressed up and go out dancing with a man-friend, but I'm just not ready yet. My husband died April 17th, 2007 - it's just too soon, emotionally, for me. When the time is right, it will happen - just not right now.
newgardenelf
15 years ago
DH and I met on yahoo--emailed for a few weeks, talked on the phone for several more, met, dated for two years and have been married for five years this October!

You most definately have to be careful and will meet some duds but overall everyone I met was nice just not the right fit until DH!

Good luck!
sayhellonow
Original Author
15 years ago
kayjones: I'm sorry to hear about your husband. It has only been a year, and when you lose someone like that it does take a very long time to even think about someone new in your life. Been there too. And you're exactly right in saying you will know when the time is right.
kayjones
15 years ago
Deborah, thanks for your kind words. It has been a very emotionally tough year for me and my stepson (Gary's son). Joseph is graduating this Saturday evening, and everyone is so sad that Gary couldn't be here to experience it with him.
jeaninwa
15 years ago
This sounds like one in a million, but I met my BF on Craigslist. Yes, in the personals. And yes, there are ALOT of scuzzies on there, so you have to be very very careful. We'll have been together a year come Memorial Day weekend. I'm moving in next month. So, I'm here to tell you it does work.
kayjones
15 years ago
Jean, my question would be: why aren't you his wife, with all the spousal benefits, if it's working so well. I don't meant to be offensive, but I have to wonder.
gabrielesgarden
15 years ago
Why rush into marriage? And at this age and level of life experience (for me anyway, I dont know how old or young Jean is) I personally think only 1 year of being together is too soon to live together. But that's just me. The first year of a relationship is always the best. Dont they say you really dont know somwone until you've lived with them?
kayjones
15 years ago
Gabriel, IMHO, if you are living with someone, and something happens to that someone, the person is screwed! The person who just lives with someone is left without anything.

It is very inexpensive and easy to get a will and power of attorney, for health and financial reasons, and marriage just cements that commitment.

The family can challenge a will, but when you are married, and your name is on everything, they can't do anything but cry!
terrig_2007
15 years ago
I was lurking and saw this post and had to comment. I am married to a wonderful man. We met on cupid.com. We both were paid members. We emailed for a week or two, then talked on the phone for a week or two, then had our first date, and the rest, as they say, is history! We've been married for about 1.5 years. I have friends who met their mates on online dating sites too. It can work, but you have to be careful. There are a lot of oddballs out there. I know because I dated a few before I met DH!
jeaninwa
15 years ago
Why aren't I his wife? Dang, I've been there, done that.
I'm not with him for the bennies.
I'm 51 and so is he.
A year is too soon? I could give examples of couples I know who married after knowing each other only a few months and are still together 30 years later, and I could give examples of others that knew each other for ages and then got married and found out they couldn't stand living together. So, that's not really a valid argument for me. We love each other, and if it doesn't work out in the long long run, then so be it.

our cat's get along well too.....lol
sayhellonow
Original Author
15 years ago
I don't think time alone has anything to do with whether or not a relationship works. I've known people who got married three weeks after first meeting, and have celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary. I also know of people who've been together for years, then get married, then divorced. I think it depends on the individuals and their levels of commitment to the relationship.

After about age 50 or so, I think people become afraid of lawyers and divorces and deaths because of what they have accumulated. In my case, I want my children to inherit my home and savings when I die. My BF is the same way. We have discussed marriage and living together, but have not come up with a plan we think might work. I am almost ready to move out to the country and just live only with myself for the remainder of my life. I don't know... the company would be great, but I wonder if I'm just a big chicken.
jeaninwa
15 years ago
Kayjones, from reading other threads, I see you have personal experience in both situations. Congratulations. I bow before your expertness. You learned something. Good for you.
kayjones
15 years ago
Jean, I was married for 12 years, then divorced. I was divorced 25 years, then married again and lost him to cancer last year. I met a terrific man here on Gardenweb, and we had a whirlwind/wonderful LD relationship, which I will always cherish. Yes, I have experienced ups and downs in my relationships, but wouldn't trade the learning experiences for anything. I am a stronger woman for having been with these guys.
walksalone
15 years ago
Incrementally, Kay, you were involved in a live-in relationship for 16 years, in those 25 "divorced" years?
kayjones
15 years ago
Walks, where did you get that erroneous information re: my live-in years?

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