is this someone you see everyday and are closely connected to at work? If so, I would tell her just what you said here...that your are starting school, wanting to spend more ime with family, etc. I probably would not want her to think that I was choosing the new SO over her unless she is also very happily attached, since she may have a hard time beng happy for you. I guess I would tell the whole group much the same thing. After all, its the truth. Once you have let everyone know what is going on, no one should be offended or take it as a personal affront. Your true friends will be happy for you, and you will soon know who you miss the most and want to see, and who you miss less.

this is a good topic. I have friends that I don't see often because our lives have changed, but when we do cross pathes, the affection is still there and its fun to catch up.

It sounds like you are being a good listener for her, but the thing that separates friends from acquaintences is what do they, in turn, do for you?......it's all a definition of what a friend is in each ones book, I guess.....I have many acquaintences that are satisfied when I don't have any complaints and listen to them when they do....I have two close friends, that no matter how bad things are they are still there for me.

I say, do a couple shots of Absolut and do as jc suggested and tell her what you told us, in a tactful manner...it will narrow down the friend/acquaintence question in your mind and she will either become a better friend or get mad and not talk to you again...sometimes it's a win/win situation....good luck

I'm going to look at this from Miss Z's point of view, not from yours, just to be different. She sounds like a very unhappy person, who needs a sounding board. I've been like her to some extent - so lonely and miserable that criticism is the only way to deal with it (you hate everybody because they're happy and you're not), but I have a true friend who told me, and I listened. I'm quite sure the way she behaves is a turn-off for everyone, but she's developed it into a habit that isn't easily broken. Quite probably, she doesn't fully realise she sounds like this. Of all the people you know, she's probably the one who needs a friend the most, and since you've seen her positive side to some extent, you're probably the one who can be the best friend she ever had, and she may eventually become the best friend you ever had, too. All it needs is to tell her where's she's going wrong.

Now, nobody likes to be criticised, and anger can be expected. But you have something to tell her, and she has something she needs to hear. So say it. Just the way you've said it to us. Show her this thread if necessary. Criticism doesn't have to be nasty, you can criticise in a loving and caring way. That's called constructive criticism. She might hate you for it to begin with, with I'll bet she takes it on board, and eventually, since she's intelligent, she'll decide to see herself as others see her, and to make the necessary changes. If she can't comprehend what you're saying to her, and she remains angry, then the decision on whether to stay friends or not is taken out of your hands, isn't it?

Either way, your dilemma is sorted.

Joules I have the same problem. I have a wonderful friend who needs to hear from me on the phone on a continual basis, bordering on obsession. I feel smothered. I don't know how to put it to her without jeopardizing our friendship. I never imagined as a straight woman I'd be saying this to a GIRLFRIEND, "I need more space!"
:-)

Though we used to pal around out of work, I mostly only see her now at the office. She comes to visit me (2 hr visits mind you) and it's about as much as I can take. I finally got a project shoved my way and will be up to my ears in work (that's good, days will fly by) and told her that I'll be spending a lot of time doing research in another area. That's give me some time to get the nerve to decide how to handle it. I'd love to do as you say, daisyduckworth, but it'll take some doing!