Return to the Single Life Forum | Post a Follow-Up

 o
It's my turn - SL Crisis...

Posted by gneegirl (My Page) on
Wed, Feb 18, 09 at 22:05

OK, I said I wouldn't post this, especially since this site is so global and I don't wish to cry on your shoulders, but I surely could use one now. My sinlge-life crisis: My best friend, and someone that I had a little more than a friendship with finally decided he doesn't have the time for a relationship. There are major stressors going on, including the fact that he's been laid off, so I understand. But when you find someone that doesn't want anything, and isn't expecting anything, other than a special friendship, you kinda wanna hold on to it. I've accepted that and even told him that I supported whatever he had to do. He may be going away to find a job - I'll know later on that. This was so sudden that I'm still reacting. Wish I wasn't.

Sorry for the sob story, but needed to talk it out. Thanks for listening.

gneegirl


Follow-Up Postings:

 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

Good morning gneegirl. Sorry to hear about your friend's situation and the effect it is having on you. Im not sure I fully understand. Do you think that this might be a knee jerk reaction on his part-that he is scared about his situation and is reacting to that? Seems when things are going badly that you need a good friend to help you through it. Hope that he rethinks and realizes that having people who care around you can make all the difference when getting through a rough patch in life. Sorry that you are feeling badly. Satine


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

Santine - your words are so sweet; really. Thank you for your support. Basically, this is how he rolls. He's been through a lot - I won't go into it here though. He's very private and leads a pretty simple life - which is my real attraction. I think he is totally overwhelmed and needs the escape to think and get things in order. Yes, you are correct, most people would want warm arms and shoulders in situations like his. But he doesn't like a lot of fanfare and attention ( on the outside). If he thinks about continuing after things are worked through, I'll be here (probably because I can't see starting something new). If not, it just won't happen. Today, I put it out of my mind - you can't change some situations or trying to change some can make it worse. What will be, will be. I seemed to have learned that when my DD passed. I don't really think about that on the outside. I just seem to gravitate to that thought pretty quickly. I think sometimes when something hurts that badly, it settles pretty deep. I keep a healthy perspective - KEEP TALKING, and seem to get through. So maybe that's what's happening now. I know that this is really bothering me, but it's so deep that I can't even deal with it on an emotional level. Maybe one day it will all come out some way - a big cry maybe. Right now though I don't seem to be able to do that. Oh well, life goes on. I just hope that my friend can overcome this temporary obstacle. It's been tough for him, and so many others (including myself when I lost my job recently. I'm back to work, thank Goodness! ). If I look at it in a more global perspective, it makes sense and I can move on. We shall see...


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

gneegirl, my thoughts are with you. It sure hurts to hurt.Satine


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

Thanks Satine!

Guess what - IT'S FRIDAY!!! I'm getting ready to go to a Birthday celebration for my old boss. She twisted my arm, knowing all I want to do is sit home on a Friday night. She's the same way, but has always been able to get me out and about - not necessarily to party, but just out of the house. It should be nice because many of the people I used to work with will be there. We all haven't gotten together in quite a while - should be fun. It's at the Navy Yard but at least I know how to get there at night (eyes are the same these day!)

Hope you are doing well. I guess everyone else is hibernating. Hi to them as well!

gneegirl


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

Gneegirl,
I am sorry that you are having to go thru this loss. I hope you had fun at the party this weekend! :) Amy


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

Thanks so much for the warm thoughts. I actually didn't make it to the party because I really was pretty tired and it was quite late. I did get some much needed rest over the weekend, and this morning, I had the courage to sever ties totally, albeit online. But that's been the way it's been for the last few weeks. I'm feeling pretty good - maybe because I don't have to worry about it anymore. We'll see.


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

ahha...guess who's calling!! I've been responding to the emails, and also answering the phone, so I'm sure that won'd last. It's like a darn cat wanting to play in the water 'cause it ripples, but yanks it's paw out when it gets wet!! ARRRRGH!!!


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

Gnee, do update us! I am wondering how you are doing. Have a good weekend. :)


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

I think things are OK - at least the friendship part. Life is just getting in the way. Right now he is working like a mad man on a temporary job. It might turn permanent, but the hours are rediculous. He still isn't calling but we talk online all the time. If I call, he's very receptive. I just feel badly that he, and everyone else in this predicament has had their lives turned completely upside down because of this economy. So, we'll see. Not sure why I am so attached to this person. For some reason there has always been some kind of bond - without any romantic undertones. Then as time passed, we found more of an attraction, but not sure it will ever amount to anything other than what it is. I'm OK with that. When the tide turned a few months ago, I was devastated because there is a deeply internal feeling (again, not sure what it is), that was just uprooted. But, at least we are talking now. I have no expectations but if something more comes out of it, I'll take it. There is something special about a friend that you can trust, and have a certain level of calm. I think we both feel that way to some degree


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

Well good, you "sound" better! :) I am glad you feel some relief. Funny how attached we become withouth realizing it and and then BAM, something happens and we find out. Friendships are precious aren't they. :)


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

Yep, they certainly are worth their weight. Today I ran into 2 people that are taking the next steps in their relationships with an SO. One may be getting married - finally, and the other just met someone. I was so happy to hear their stories - they were so happy as well. We weren't meant to be alone.


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

Hi Gneegirl, glad to hear the situation with your friend seems to be sorting itself out. I agree that we weren't meant to be alone and even if your friendship remains just that it can be a very important part of your life. I do believe also that even a long standing friendship can turn into something more. For now at least it seems that things are moving in the right direction. Good luck. Satine


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

Thanks Satine! I responded to your post RE the weather and the weekend. Glad you had fun. Maybe we can meet for lunch or something when the weather turns a little more - up to you. I love it up there in your neck of the woods.


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

Hi all. Is it really only Wed? This is going to be one long week! Looks like the wonderful weather we had last weekend isn't going to be around for this weekend. Oh well, guess we'll just have to wait a bit longer for spring. Gneegirl, I think it would be fun to get together. Are there any others on this board from our area? Hope everyone has a good day. Satine


 o
RE: It's my turn - SL Crisis...

Satine - I know there are plenty in our general area, but not sure who, that hangs out here. A lot are on the KT, and also in Kitchens and Appliance. Some are closer to you, and realy not that far from me - Columbia area. There are some in VA too. There was a get-together with a small group - missed it because I had to work. It was a long lunch to with another WBr that was in the area long-term to deal with medical problems of DS. I know there was another try recently, but I haven't heard whether anything was confirmed. I'll see what I can find out. If you look on Kitchens, you should be able to see pics, I think.


 o Post a Follow-Up

Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum.

    If you are a member, please log in.

    If you aren't yet a member, join now!


Return to the Single Life Forum

Information about Posting

  • You must be logged in to post a message. Once you are logged in, a posting window will appear at the bottom of the messages. If you are not a member, please register for an account.
  • Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review your post, make changes and upload photos.
  • After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
  • Before posting copyrighted material, please read about Copyright and Fair Use.
  • We have a strict no-advertising policy!
  • If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
  • If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.


Learn more about in-text links on this page here