daffodily, I can so relate!

I just recently signed on with Match.com. I'm 49, and a bit overweight, but not a bad looking woman. Have you SEEN what's out there? Mostly ICK! And they all want thin athletic women. They say they have brown hair, but it's mostly gray, they say they have an average body type....yeah, I guess so. Average compared to all the other men. I'd consider most of them a bit overweight too. And, they post pictures that are 5 or more years old. The few conversations I've started up have petered out. I feel stupid for using hard earned money that way. Sheesh.

I'm like you. Where do you meet men???? I work at a grade school. Not too many opportunities there, let me tell you! I'm going to a book discussion at the library next week. I don't have any expectations, but at least I'll get out of the house and talk to people.

Jean

Hey Jean, Thanks for answering! My town is so small & I already know most of the men who might be available. If I lived in a larger town, I would go to a book store & hang out in the books that are most interesting to me. I do go on vacations to places where people with similar tastes go. At least you get an idea of who's out there. I'm getting ready to move to my acre back in the woods where I will live with my cat, have no utilities, & no internet! I'll have to do a lot of traveling, I guess. LizAnne

Jean,

I hear a Harley rider from Minnesota winked at you.

:)

LoL

Yeah, but HE doesn't have a picture! LoL
I was wondering why someone from Minnesota contacted me! We aren't exactly in the same neighborhood!
That's too funny.
OK, now I guess I should go wink back, huh?
Maybe he'll put a picture up if I ask real nice.....

Jean

Love in bloom... I'm getting spring fever...

Jean, this is what a good male married friend of mine once said when I was asking him why a good man was so hard to find. He said that I was not like the typical person out there, and I don't think you sound typical either Jean, and neither was Grizzly Adams. So you're basically looking for a very small cohort, the proverbial needle in the haystack. You'll have to sift through a lot of hay, there's no getting around it. I quit the online dating thing after a few months, I found it exhausting! Like a second job. I once read a book by a single guy, widowed in his mid fifties, and he was giving men advice on getting back into the dating scene. He said he went out with 64 women in two years before he found "Ms Right." Doing the math, that's about one new woman every two weeks. He said it was a lot of work but finding Ms. 64 made it worth it. Hmmmm . . .

I think it's interesting that I am now Jean! Daffodilly is the one who wants a Grizzly Adams, not Jean! What's up out there in Cyber Land? No wonder I can't find mine! Jean came in the room & everyone forgot who asked the question.

I'm sooo tired of looking!!!! LizAnne

LizAnne:

I too was very tired of looking. I'm 42 - never married, no kids. At 42 I won't be having children, and I'm getting to be ok with that.

Finding someone was top priority for me. I dated after my engagement ended in college - but no one special. I tried too hard to be special for them. Had one LTR that lasted too long! Drank too much for me. Typical Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde sort of thing. Had a couple of one night stands - boy is that enough to scar you for life. Then I took a break. For over 7 years. Started up with the online dating thing. Some good experiences, some awful ones! Some local, some long distance.

Until this guy happened to find me. I wasn't even looking. Had absolutely no interest in even getting to know him. But he was persistent in a gentlemanly way. We're still long distance as we both have family issues that take priority, but it works for us right now. I just got back from a long weekend there and it was absolute heaven.

I'm not very encouraging, but please don't give up and more importantly, don't let your standards down either.

Barbara

Thank You, Barbara. You are my daughter's age. When I was your age, the guys were everywhere, but I assure you that when you get to be 64, your options dwindle considerably. I'm still nice looking, intelligent, interesting, but the men around my age want someone your age or younger. I'm actually still very good friends with my ex-husband, but he is very ill & lives with his mother & brother. I'm just someone who got stuck in a groove & can't seem to find my way out. At this point, I figure 'someone' is better than no one. I've decided to see it through to his or mine end. But, oh, how I long for someone to hold & care for me & give me the kind of love I deserve.

I'm so glad someone found you! I really hope everything works out for you. I know you deserve to be loved too! LizAnne

I'm 43, and don't see the guys being everywhere. Haven't dated since my divorce some 4 years ago...5 actually, if you count the year of separation. I tried on-line dating but never worked out, never even went on one date. I just don't see any prospects out there and have basically given up. I just wish my friends would give up too-LOL! They're constantly asking me if I've met anyone.

Hey, Ladies, I can attest that it's no better from this side of the line. I've encountered the very same "problems", if you will, in both street life and cyber life: the utter misrepresentation regarding ... how shall we call it ... physical attributes, photos that are years old, very shallow attitudes and one other that you haven't mentioned ... being just one more guy on just one more list. Personally, I'd rather not ...

So ... what to do about it? I sure don't have a clue ... been through it recently in cyber life and three years ago in street life. Just keep on being yourself ... and being true to yourself ... don't settle for less than what you want.

Oh, and one more thing ... good luck!

PS: By 'street life' I meant 'real life' as opposed to the internet dating thing.