Let's get started - What are the best things about being single?

21 years ago

Female, childless, living alone:

You don't have to cook unless you feel like it.

You can eat your meals whenever you want to, and cook what you want.

You can hog the remote and channel-hop as much as you want, and no-one complains.

You can decorate your house/apartment to your taste. Same with the car.

You can flirt with cute guys without risking the wrath of a jealous boyfriend/husband.

You can go out to dinner with your girlfriends at short notice.

I reserve the right to add more items as and when I think of them ;-)

Comments (53)

debi_ks
21 years ago
No one to fight over money problems with.
No one screaming at you because you are late.

I didn't read all the others on the list but those are the ones came up with..
Cherryfizz
21 years ago
Not having to clean up after anyone besides myself.
I can come and go as I please.
I can watch tv commercials. LOL

Anne
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The hardest part for me was just simply getting used to the aloneness. When I was with someone, my whole life was wrapped up in what he wanted and when he wanted it and where he wanted to go and what I could do for him. When it was over, I felt lost. Who was I? What was I supposed to do with all this space and all this time?? Projects!! Take on projects--redecorating the house, landscaping the yard. Take on hobbies and make new friends. The best advice I can give is to fill every moment with all the things you would have done if you had had the time before. I've been alone now for 12 yrs, and I really like it. I've learned so much about myself and I've learned how to do so much more than I would have if I'd been married. this may shock you, but I took a job in construction (the pay is better than secretarial work), and I learned enough to build my own house! That's something I'd never done if I had had a man around. I learned how to maneuver thru the internet. I learned how to garden and have landscaped my entire yard (NO GRASS). I've also begun learning oil painting, something I'd never had time for before. I found when I was with someone, I lost myself. I became what he needed me to be. Everything in my life revolved around him and I was really an extension of him. But on my own, I learned who I was and what my dreams were. I learned that I really can do anything I wanna do. And I learned to not be afraid to try something completely new. Being alone taught me to keep stretching my boundaries and see just how high I can fly. Look at this new aloneness as an opportunity for you to grow and branch out in different directions. It's an opportunity to be who you are and who you were meant to be. And just be all you can be. Let nothing stop you from pursuing your dreams, artistic endeavors, hobbies, etc. I feel more alive now than I did when I was in a relationship. Perhaps that is why I'm still single. LOL Casper
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tracymomof4
21 years ago
female- twice divorced- 4 boys ages 17-13 living with me 1 puppy, 4 fish, 1 hamster and an iguana.
good things about being single;
NOT A DAMN THING
i hate it
jamie_mt
21 years ago
I have to enjoy this "living alone" thing while I still can - am engaged and getting married in 2004. I've been living alone for 3 yrs - it's absolute *bliss*, I love it! :-)

Things I will miss *terribly* about living alone (w/3 dogs, fish, and various other little critters - no kids):

- Not having to share the bathroom, closets, kitchen, or remotes
- Keeping my own schedule and not having to worry about another person coming or going
- Cooking only for myself (though this is fast disappearing as my fiance eats here more often...I don't know why, but there's way more "pressure" when you're cooking for someone else!)
- Being able to take a bath and not have to ask if I can "hog" the bathroom for 2 hours
- Knowing that the mess is all mine, and cleaning it up or not is completely up to me
- Being able to sit on the couch, popping pain killers and drinking tea during "that time of the month" without being asked "what's wrong"
- Decorating the house is all up to me, and I don't have to ask before bringing home a new pet

And a bunch of the other things already mentioned, of course. I am *sooo* glad I got to experience living alone before getting married - it's truely wonderful. :-)
Daisyduckworth
21 years ago
Female, over fifty, kids left home long ago.

nobody hogs the blankets
nobody else's smelly socks to wash
meals - how, when, where and what suits me
bed when it suits me
outings when it suits me - and with whom I please
no family get-togethers
all TV shows to suit me
no sports - any kind - on TV, over dinner, weekends - any time! YIPPEE!
no more 'I'll check with my husband and let you know'
everything is mine, mine, mine
toilet seat is ALWAYS down
no hairy shower recesses and vanities
doors and drawers are always shut

There are probably many more that will come to mind as soon as I press the submit button!
kframe19
21 years ago
If I ever think of any, I'll be sure to let you all know.
darkeyedgirl
21 years ago
OH MAN I forgot about the hairy-shower thing! And the hairy-sink thing! There is nothing ickier than seeing a beautiful white porcelain sinktop covered in itty bitty chopped off hairs, everywhere!

- darkeyedgirl
Kathsgrdn
21 years ago
No in-laws
I can read a book if I darn well please (not that I have time to, but if I wanted to I could!)
No more gory, sicko movies
No more put downs about what I'm wearing or my weight
Can laugh on the phone with a friend without rude comments
browntoestoo
21 years ago
Aw, come on Kframe, even morose old me can think of a couple of good things:

ÂI get to pick all the art.

ÂI can read in bed with the light on as long as I like.

ÂNo snoring to wake me.

ÂNo having to hunt for the lost remote under the sofa cushions.

ÂNo more Rush Limbaugh.

ÂNo one calling me "b*tch."

ÂI can have a bowl of cereal for dinner if I want.

ÂThe closet is mine, all mine!

See, it's not so bad!

Eileen
bbolts
21 years ago
I have been married before and also lived with my current boyfriend, but moved out to live (blissfully) by myself because I couldn't stand the way he parented his children. We get along great now that we live apart.

The best things.....

No surprises when you walk into the bathroom.

I don't miss the bodily noises either!

No one telling my doggies to get off the bed.
Having the bed all to myself.

Comming home after a hard day at work to wonderful SILENCE!! (except for the fur-persons that are whooping it up because I'm home)

Being able to listen to what ever music, loud, that I am in the mood for, be it smooth jazz, 80's, trance/electronica....without being teased or nagged!

Not having to justify ANY of my purchases...because I make enough money to buy almost anything I want, and spend it any way I choose!!! And not a dime came from anyone,ever, except for my own hard work.

No one giving me attitude because I don't cook/clean/whatever the way a WOMAN should..

Finally, yes I used to feel lonely at times when I lived alone right after my divorce, but I am older and
now know that you can be desparately lonely in a house full of people, and can be very happy and content all by yourself. My dogs are a constant joy and they help me feel safe because they bark like mad at everything. So other than squishing spiders and booty-call that my boyfriend provides, I can go on with this arrangement forever! :0 )
civilmind
21 years ago
I can second just about everything that has already been mentioned. Reminds me of a list I used to have called the Joys of Being Single.

How about this one...better car insurance rates.
Toni_KY
21 years ago
Female, separated, soon to be divorced:

- Cat can sleep with me (DH was allergic so she wasn't even allowed in bedroom).
- No snoring or sleep apnea to disturb my sleep.
- I can put on as many or as few covers as I want without having a war,
- No one to complain if I didn't shave my legs!
- The bathroom/bedroom/kitchen/whatever STAYS clean after I clean it!
- I can spend money on whatever I want.
- My tv hasn't seen a sporting event in AGES!
- The driver's seat of the car stays where I put it.
- The car's gas tank doesn't suddenly need refilling when I get into it.

I'm sure I could think of more! :-)
itsmesuzq
21 years ago
Divorced and on my own for the last 9 years.....

NO stupid sports all weekend long....

NOT having to call and say I'm stopping at the mall on the way home....

The house is the same way I left it this morning.....

Doing what I want, when I want, anytime I want....glory be!!

Having dinner with friends at the drop of a hat.....

Going to bed at 7:30 if I want to, and not having to listen to the TV blaring away in the living room......

Cooking/or not anything my heart desires....or stopping by my favorite taco stand on the way home.......

Sleeping with my cat, who just purrs when I turnover.....

Managing my own wallet, checkbook, bills, purchases, vacation money, savings.....well, you get the drift.....

I love living on my own, and I can't imagine partnering ever again!!

~Susan
cube1067
21 years ago
I love being the master of my own destiny...I love being in the driver's seat of my life.

When I look at how married mothers give their lives over to everyone else...I don't know how they do it. I would resent it. I think our culture romanticizes marriage & motherhood - won't brook any unkind words about it. A woman is suppose to WANT it, LOVE it, and be incomplete without it. But I take my own informal survey about the joys of coupledom/parenthood everytime I sneak candid looks at couples and parents - I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen unabashed joy. I notice how many plots to murder the spouse show up on those forensic shows. I notice how many married people sign up for the military - willing to leave their family and kids; it looks noble, but I'm betting some of them want a break from the relationship duties and are willing to risk IRAQ to get that break. I've heard a married women say she felt like a single mother for all the help she gets at home. I've had 2 married men tell me they understand my lack of desire for marriage. I had one older women tell me that marriage "ain't all it's cracked up to be".

I think most folks struggle with finding their purpose in life. Marriage and family gives people a socially accepted purpose and it's a relatively easy thing to do. To me, a measure of a poor marriage is one where the couple devotes all their energy to "the children". Let's take a look at that couple after the children fly the coop - if they fly the coop - because parents like these tend to raise children who can't take care of themselves.
jessiecarole
21 years ago
well said cube. when I get blue about my single status, I cheer myself up by reading the marriage forum
civilmind
20 years ago
Well said, Cube! I can't tell you how many times I've been told I'm smart to stay single. If I really thought I was missing out on something great, I'd have done something about it by now. However, I don't want a life full of chaos. I'll take my simple single life over a tumultous relationship any day, thank you!

I find it odd, however that it seems to be mostly women posting here on the joys of singledom.
sylviatexas1
20 years ago
Several years ago there was a scientific study done on "happiness". It found that the happiest peopler were married men & single women.
CraftyGirl75
20 years ago
I really do believe that study and can completely understand why.

Divorced, no kids, but no living with someone again...
and remembering how great it was to be single.

Of course married men are happy. Think of it girls, if the house is messy - who cleans it? More than likely you, and not because you just love doing it, but because you can't stand to see it messy. Or because his idea of clean and yours vary considerably. And what about laundry and dishes? Who does them? Again, probably you. Let me guess why - because you do a better job. When he does the laundry he can't seem to remember that your best black pants do not go in the dryer; or that your white blouse can't be washed with his inky work clothes even though Tide is the best! I think they do it on purpose. They do an awful job because eventually they know you'll get sick of it being done wrong and you'll just start doing it yourself. I think it's taught to them in the womb or something.

I pretty much agree with all the points mentioned above about being single. I'm reminded yet again how great it used to be.

Kudos to the men who actually do help out and do a great job of it. I'm sure your girlfriends appreciate it.

Heather
Carrie B
20 years ago
I can come home from the community garden after dark - with no phone call home - and have a frozen dinner or a yogurt.

The cat can sleep on my pillow and purr into my head as loud as she wants.

I can make a phone call anytime I want - because the line's not being tied up by his computer.

I don't have to take ANYONE else into consideration when making my plans and going about my daily life.

I don't have angst over someone elses mood swings.

I don't have to "check in" before accepting (or extending) an invitation.
Fat_Daddy
20 years ago
Ya know ALL these replies have been from Woman's Lets hear a
man view of best part of being single. Here goes

NO NAGGIN from a fussin ol nag.
Go when and where you want.
Don't pick up a thing.. Maid does it on Friday house clean for weekend.
Don't have to be a SEX object all the time. you belive that one??
Go to massage place and pay for sex when you want it
Don't have to have a bunch of Cackklin ladies over yapping
in your house over a dumb game BUNKO.
Buy any Truck I want
Put in a dirty movie. "romanceing the bone" is my favorite.
Have the guys over for some cards and cold beer, rerun movei
Go out danceing and bring a hot hoe back to yo house.

Yep thise are the best part of being a single MAN!!
hmmmm.....er hold on...Waaaa.... O.
I gotta go I gotta take garbage out. WIFE'S HOME !!!!!
hehehehehe ;>)
gina_in_fl
20 years ago
Single Sucks!! Unless you have a honey with some talents!

In the last three months, got done:
Two yards sodded.
Garbage disposal, water heater replaced.
Whole interior of house repainted.
Pool cleaned regularly.
Plumbing repairs up to replacement of disposal & water heater.
Lawn maintained.
Dinners cooked (I usually end up doing dishes)
Laundry washed, dried, put away properly.

Single life sucks only if you don't have a honey hanging around to share it with.

Essentially, having to do it all by yourself really doesn't cut it. We possibly "could" do it all, but what's the fun in that?? More fun to find someone and dangle a carrot!! :)
crnaskater
20 years ago
I guess I'm in the minority - never married or had kids.

No college tuition to worry about
Have my own home (my 4th and last)
Clean when I feel like it even at 3 am
Privacy
No pets to worry about, boarding for when I take a trip, vet bills, etc.
Furniture placement/location that suits my style and habits
Finacial security and management
Get to talk with people (on trips) who are fascinated by a woman traveling alone rather than in the pack mentality
Being available to good friends (in marriage or hard times) without having to check with spouse/children
Tinmantu
20 years ago
Figured I'd join the male side since someone asked..The first year I was divorced (after 18 yrs of marriage), I dated, thinking that I "needed" a relationship again, but proceeded with caution(once bitten,etc)..8 years later, I have become rather satisfied (almost selfish with my private time) to have solitude and go on weekend trips on a whim
cube1067
20 years ago
Treeskate, I relate to talking with people who are *fascinated* by a woman traveling alone. They treat you almost like a hero, don't they? As if it's some colossal feat that you could pack your bags, make reservations, and board transport alone.
sylviatexas1
20 years ago
The radio stays set at my stations,
the seat stays set for the length of my legs,
the mirrors stay set for the height of my head.

The hammer/nails/scissors/knives/pruners/pens & pencils stay where I put them.

I know whether there's toothpaste, laundry detergent, ice, & trash bags before I get home in the evening.

If I have one pair of clean underwear to put on tomorrow, I don't have to worry about clean underwear!
goldy
20 years ago
You can eat cornflakes for supper and f-rt when you want.You have only you to answer to.If you don't worry about who will bring you a cup of water when you get bedridden life can be great.
Tinmantu
20 years ago
LOL...good ones, Goldy....btw, did you ever get your computer clock thing figured out?...mine behaved for a week after I posted on the computer forum, left for a few days and it's yanking my chain again....Happy New Year to you!
goldy
20 years ago
Yes my clocks working fine.Ihad it set wrong .Should have been eastern time and I had it set at central.It's the small things that throw you off.Was ready to call Dell and throw a fit.Check your right area.Let me know.I feel so smart now.
Tinmantu
20 years ago
I still haven't got this thing figured out....it's set on the right time zone....lost an hour last night, didn't reset it and since I have been home tonight it lost another one....glad you got yours fixed, Goldy!
cheerful1_gw
18 years ago
As someone who may be single very soon, the best things for me would be: not having to answer to someone else; not being prey to their bad moods; going and doing at your own pace; not having to explain myself constantly; not walking on eggs constantly because you're worried about what the other person will do.
lovetogarden
18 years ago
All my decisions are unanimous!
centralcacyclist
18 years ago
Options! The world is my oyster!
grammahony
18 years ago
Not having to answer to anyone.
Come and go when and where I want.
Cook or not.
Laundry a lot less often.
Sleep as late as I like.
Leslie
wannadanc
18 years ago
I think you have said it all - I remember one first "date" with a less than awesome person who told me how much he missed coming home to a hot cooked meal. I looked him in his baby blues and told him that I missed that as well!!!!!!!

LOL Vicki
Corky265
18 years ago
What a great thread!

Toilet Seat Always Down
More Closet Space
No In-Laws
No Yelling, Screaming, Fighting About Anything
Bathroom Â Completely Mine & Clean All The Time
No One Keeping Me Awake With Snoring or Tossing & Turning
No One Hogging the Covers or Bed
Don't Have to Cook for Another Person
Don't Have to Do Laundry for Another Person
Don't Have to Clean Up After Another Person
No Blasting Television - Especially Sports
Remote Always in Exact Place I Left It [Never Lost]
Can Read a Book All Day Long If I Choose
Coming Home After Work to Quiet, Not Non-Stop Talking
Total Privacy Â Personal Space
Do Whatever I Feel Like 24/7

I have never been married and couldn't care less. All the married people always want to "set you up" with someone because they just can't understand HOW you could be happy being single - without a man in your life! These are the same people who fight with each other over the kids, money, etc. How many married couples end up divorced anyway? I want nothing to do with any of it!
jeaninwa
18 years ago
Knowing if you left that one last serving of ice cream in the carton for later, it will BE there later!!

js
hildegardsc
18 years ago
Not having to hide new clothes purchases in the trunk of the car and bring it in when he is at work and then lie and deny that is is new. Been there, done it.
jeaninwa
18 years ago
Not having someone telling me "No, we can't do it that way". Or "No, we can't plant that bush there".
Grrrrrrrrrrr

Or, asking someone for help, and they just flat say "no". Gawd, I hated that! Now at least I know I can just do it myself, or it don't get done.
I might as well have been single for awhile while we were still together....................

Jean
scarlett2001
18 years ago
Yes, the toilet seat thing-in fact,the whole bathroom civilization issue.

Also puting the color PINK back in my bedroom.

No more holidays with his family!!!

Actually doing better financially without him draining us.

No more dreading being incarcerated for life when I finally snap and do something socially unacceptable...(Yes,I'm only kidding... I think.)
neipert
18 years ago
Only cleaning up after yourself. If there is a mess you made it.

Being able to save money. Spending it on the things you want.

Peace in the house. Visiting with friends if it gets too quiet.

There is time to visit with the friends and there are friends to visit.
softball_80
18 years ago
Sleeping 'til the crack of noon.
Midnight howlin' at the moon.
Going out when I want, and coming home when I please.
Don't have to ask permission when I want to go out fishin'
Never have to ask for the keys.

- from Tom Waits "Better Off Without a Wife"
grammahony
18 years ago
Since this originated back in early "03", has anyone gotten hitched again? Or is everybody still enjoying the option of being single. I'm still lovin it.
Leslie
Kathsgrdn
18 years ago
Still single here. Not sure if I'm still so happy about it, can be pretty lonely sometimes. But, then I think of how lonely I was married alot of times too.
fsaforo
18 years ago
Being happy with being you and rediscovering my inner self after raising two daughters on my own and now being a new grandma.

I all of a sudden feel like I'm seeing the world for the first time, this new me I like, she is more confident, stronger and willing to take on the world by herself as long as I've got GOD, the rest is child's play.

Flo
sugarplum_pdx
18 years ago
Hi - new member here, and I enjoyed reading this thread. I've never been married, no kids, and got out of my last relationship 2 years ago. At times I feel like there's something wrong with me for not dating, and sometimes I do get lonely. But this thread helped me remember all the things I do like about being single and living alone! So here's my list of favorites:

- I don't have to listen to Howard Stern in the morning anymore.
- I can rent silly movies without having to listen to comments about it being "gay".
- I can listen to anything on the radio, whether it's classical or jazz or country
- I have hot pink accents in my bathroom, which never would've gone over with the ex-bf.
- I eat a lot better because I don't have to work around his picky diet (ex-bf wouldn't eat a lot of the things I like)
- I can stretch out in the bed, and can sleep late without anyone making comments
- I don't always shave my legs or other body parts anymore, unless I feel like it

I think the key, though, is that if you have a really GOOD relationship, a lot of these things aren't an issue. For example, my next boyfriend will not be someone who would call everything "gay" or criticize me or veto all my decorating decisions. At least I hope not.
mimi_boo
18 years ago
Sounds like you made a good choice in making him your EX-boyfriend!

Barbara
doone
18 years ago
I think the best thing is being single is being able to make all my own decisions. I listen to my married girlfriends and my sister. They have to "ask" their husbands. The husband gets to make ALL the decisions. This truly drives me crazy. To me, a marriage should be a partnership, not a dictatorship.

I was once married...to an idiot. He chose what ring I should wear. He chose what car I drove. He chose what house I lived in....he also chose to leave me at home with the baby while he went out with his girlfriend...

I truly enjoy being single.
Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana
17 years ago
I'm a professional old maid...55 years young and no children. My list of the best things about being single would include most of the above mentioned things.

I am fortunate though to have a wonderful BF of 25+ years who lives an hour away, and that I see once each weekend. Lots of folks ask if I think we will ever get married, and my reply is that if it isn't broken, then why fix it?

So many folks tell me that I am so smart to have never married. They're not telling me anything I didn't already know...lol

Sue
maryland_irisman
17 years ago
Ya know, all I've seen here are women bashing men as to why it is a good thing to be single. I've been single for over 25 years myself and I can tell you it has been absolute bliss. Not because I crawled in a corner and had nothing to do with women. I love them and have dated hundreds. Yea, I could sit here and make a list of all the nasty things about them and why being single "saved" me from all that but I won't. The best thing I can say about being single is that I was able to meet so many interesting people and have made many friends. Instead of judging these people, I took them the way they were since after all, they are human too and have faults as well as I do. I have never dumped an old friend every time I made a new one. I'm still great friends with my ex wife. Just because we couldn't live under the same roof without one of us comitting murder doesn't mean either of us is any less of a good person.

Oh yes, I plan to grow old with someone and will enjoy it tremendously and will make sure the woman I choose and who chooses me does too. In defense of Sue-Chemocurl--I think it was Katheren Hepburn who said that the best relationships are where each person has their own home but visit each other often. Hey, it does work!!!
terrene
17 years ago
Hi, I'm a new poster on the Gardenweb website, I was exploring the forums and found this one. I'm a single Mom, 46 - one son who is almost 13. I've been busy raising him, work, chores, etc - it is a pretty full plate - and alone for 5 1/2 years now.

I posted some thoughts about what I liked about being single in a thread I started - sorry, didn't realize this one was here and that I was being redundant.

This thread was an interesting read. Good to know there are other people who appreciate things about the single life.

Let's get started - What are the best things about being single?

Comments (53)

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