The worst things about being single
Daisyduckworth
21 years ago
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Comments (35)
wormgirl_8a_WA
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agodarkeyedgirl
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
What is the worst thing about yourself?
Comments (39)I will try my best in relationship with friends - ignore lots of stuff because I am aware that there has to be give and take in friendship. I ignore too much, stuff it down and let it go. But - in time (usually many years) there will be a (small) straw that breaks the camels back and I am done forevermore. I don't want to discuss it, I am completely done with a person. I never miss the relationship, I'm that done. It's like when I decide I don't want to interact to the person again, a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders. It's not that I never speak to them, but I am so distant and unavailable to them that they clearly get the message. I never miss the "good times" of the friendship, I feel worn out from the effort and the "good times" (of which there will be many) are simply of no value anymore. I consider it a terrible fault within myself that I can so suddenly, quietly and finally walk away from a friendship and not be willing to even discuss the reason for it's demise. It's a cruelty I despise within myself. Usually, it's petty stuff that build over the years that finally does me in-one unimportant thing will suddenly and unexpectedly be "the" one that is my last straw. I am aware this is fault is of my own making because I'm so unwilling to discuss the things that bother me as they are happening. I tend to ignore a great many small things that snowball into a place where it's just too late. It's a terrible failing. I don't know if trying to talk something out would do any good (I feel petty if I try) but it really would be far better if I had made the effort along the way, before I was so completely done. This has happened a handful of times in my adult life with friendships that were five years or even decades old - this really bothers me about myself. I understand the petering out of a more casual friendship - this happens all the time in life, this is not that. It's a sudden death of my own making. The common factor is that I always end up feeling that I was upholding the "work" part of the friendship rather than it being a two way street, and then I quit my job. I have no idea if I'm correct in this perception as I simply won't allow any discussion about it once it's a done deal for me. A terrible flaw in my make up. I wonder if this flaw is in any of you - I often feel so alone with this issue....See MoreWhats the worst thing you have done.......
Comments (31)Whidbeykathy, although I never had to do this, there was a period of time where - if called upon, I would have had to also because it would have been a necessary thing. I thank God it never came to that. I hope you will let it go and not accept any blame of your necessary action, this was not a wrong doing on your part, you should not accept or give yourself blame. All that will ever accomplish is a deflection from the person who behaved badly enough that this became a necessary action which caused you a lot of unhappiness - keep the focus where it belongs - on the wrong doer. But not for that person, you would not be going through this grief. You did the RIGHT thing and are to be commended for doing the right thing despite the hardship this caused to you. Never allow youself or anyone else to tell you differently. Keep the focus where it belongs....See MoreBad things about single..
Comments (10)Hey mike_73, I've traveled alone for sightseeing tours and you can get a roommate on these types of tours and save yourself some money. I've never had a problem with any roommate I've ever had on a trip. If it is a tour group they usually give the contact info of the other person and let the two email or call each other to resolve and differences like "early riser/night owl" or "smoker/non-smoker". If the other person sounds reasonable you book a double room. You get two beds and share the bath. You don't have to "hang out" with the person. Ask your travel agent or tour operator about it....See MoreWhat's the hardest thing about being newly single?
Comments (21)The hardest part for me was just simply getting used to the aloneness. When I was with someone, my whole life was wrapped up in what he wanted and when he wanted it and where he wanted to go and what I could do for him. When it was over, I felt lost. Who was I? What was I supposed to do with all this space and all this time?? Projects!! Take on projects--redecorating the house, landscaping the yard. Take on hobbies and make new friends. The best advice I can give is to fill every moment with all the things you would have done if you had had the time before. I've been alone now for 12 yrs, and I really like it. I've learned so much about myself and I've learned how to do so much more than I would have if I'd been married. this may shock you, but I took a job in construction (the pay is better than secretarial work), and I learned enough to build my own house! That's something I'd never done if I had had a man around. I learned how to maneuver thru the internet. I learned how to garden and have landscaped my entire yard (NO GRASS). I've also begun learning oil painting, something I'd never had time for before. I found when I was with someone, I lost myself. I became what he needed me to be. Everything in my life revolved around him and I was really an extension of him. But on my own, I learned who I was and what my dreams were. I learned that I really can do anything I wanna do. And I learned to not be afraid to try something completely new. Being alone taught me to keep stretching my boundaries and see just how high I can fly. Look at this new aloneness as an opportunity for you to grow and branch out in different directions. It's an opportunity to be who you are and who you were meant to be. And just be all you can be. Let nothing stop you from pursuing your dreams, artistic endeavors, hobbies, etc. I feel more alive now than I did when I was in a relationship. Perhaps that is why I'm still single. LOL Casper...See MoreJudith
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