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Ok....I have a stupid question

Posted by Tinmantu (My Page) on
Mon, Jan 17, 05 at 17:33

Why is it when we get a new face that introduces themselves here, only a couple of people welcome them when it's been stated before that people check in all the time?...then people want to know why it's so quiet here???? Surely we aren't all so introverted that we can't at least say "hi" to someone and welcome them???????

I understand that we aren't all on the board at the same time but good grief, I have seen newbies come here more than once and they only get a welcome from a select few and nobody else acknowledges them. But they find the time later on to talk....I'm sorry if I hit a nerve but damn, people...if you want this site to grow, then everyone that is a subscriber here should welcome someone...ok rant off for now....more to come, I think


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

Michael, that was a question I had also. To have a friend, one must BE a friend. It seems only a few of us have carried this forum for quite some time. I wish we had the brain cells left, at the end of the day, to continue to prod folks into participating, but that isn't the case.

I wonder if it isn't time to start another 'pissy' thread - something that will get some hearts beating. Whatta you think?


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

It just irks me when a persons sole post for a couple months is "that it seems like nobody is here any more"....why the #**k not start a thread to inspire conversation instead of adding their 1/2 of a cent of a comment...and yes it is just that...it's not even worth 2 cents to say that things are quiet and that is all that they contribute. Then they go back into hiding when a new person shows up. Then the pattern repeats because the new person talks about how quiet it is and they say "yup, that's the way it is here"....way to inspire talk folks

Yes I have been gone for a while but I'd be willing to bet that I have taken the time to type more sentences in the last 4 danged hours than a lot have in the last year (that's not counting my absolute rants either).....I'm not calling any individual out...... just participate people!!

Tell me I am out of line for thinking this way...I can take it...I promise!!...I won't call you a name, let's just talk.


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

Well, I TRY to come up with something worth posting for discussion here. Sometimes I just can't think of anything that interesting - and I don't want to post things that really scream W-H-I-N-E (which is much less appealing than WINE).
I keep coming back because I really would like to chat and see others' opinions on single stuff. My story has been about the same for over a year - figure that I don't want to bore ya'll with my concerns, ideas, hopes any more than I want to bore my friends & family. I keep a lot of stuff in - figuring that I'll *get it* one day.


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

Joules....as I said, I wasn't singling any one individual out....I enjoy reading all posts and replies. Feel free to bore us anytime, as again there are quite a few years of experience here. My entire point of starting this thread is that I don't know how many times I have seen someone come in and introduce themselves only to get a somewhat cool welcome and then never come back.

Nothing is harder than coming to a new board and feeling accepted enough to feel comfortable posting back and forth. I see it all the time on other boards, but once they feel accepted and "part of the group" you can't keep them quiet. :)

This board will never grow without that kind of a thought plan, IMO. I'll try to do better about starting new threads (ones that don't make me sound like a grump) and I will make every effort to contribute to those started by others. (some I just plain don't have a comment) With a little interaction, it can become like we are a family. Right now, it's like we are stopping into the unhip neighborhood bar and we say hi to a couple of regulars and not go back because we think it's dead. In real life in a bar, we take a friend along and tell other friends about the bar. Next thing you know the dead place can be fun. If everyone brings a friend, who knows what might happen.

Ok rant over...hope everybody is having a good week. We finally got out of the cold snap and back to the 60's here today...come on springtime.


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

OK, is this the way this board goes? Two people answered, and that was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back last January!!!!!!!!!

This should be a PARTY board! Come on!

I'll get the music going if someone else will start dancing!!!

Jean


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

Hi! Can I come where is the party? I love to dance. I'm a new member and hope this board picks up on speed.


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

Well, hey hildegardsc!

I say we just start a party right here!!!

Here's some food and drink...

Jean


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

Hey there fellow singles. Sw Minn single here. 46..male..like to write.

Got here from the elec board. Lots to learn over there.
Jean from Wash...what part you from? I know a litle about Gig Harbor and Wenatchee areas. Have sibs out there. Skied the Cascades at Stevens pass once. What beauty!

Regards....Bob


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

I didn't even introduce myself i just started responding to the posts. I have found just like anywhere else there are clicks. People like being in their comfort zone of who they think they know and that closes even the possibility of them getting to know someone new.


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

Well, it just seems the most recent posts, and the ones people are answering to are the "what's wrong with people" ones. Gawd, if I had an answer for that, I would be the richest person in the world.

I'm in a grump mode myself lately, so I haven't posted. And, I haven't done anything worth posting about. My life is boring. I was married for over 25 years, and even after 2 1/2 years on my own, I STILL don't have a clue. I don't want to go out on my own, and I don't have single friends. So, I sit home and be invisible. Not exactly what someone would be looking for in a date.
I'm boring and I know it, and wouldn't want to inflict that on anyone.
I have been a creative, fun person, so I know I can do it again. I will do it again. I'd love to share things with someone special, but I guess right now I feel that I'd need to be special, and I just don't feel that way.

Ok, cue violins..................

Jean


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

Sorry Jean,

Don't play the violin, but I can corroborate your sentiments.

Reminders of my ability/creativity surround me, and constantly point to my past self. I, too, am vacillating back and forth....wondering which fork in the road to take. It is very easy to be single....almost too easy. Like you....the sharing thing seems paramount, and a shameful waste if I don't get up and do it.

I guess I have never wanted nor needed to feel special, but I have voids that are being kind of thorny in a sense. Namely...don't let it all go to waste.

I don't really ask questions on here to find out what is wrong with people or find faults.....maybe more so to find out what type of personality motivates them to behave in a certain manner. There are many ways to live a life....most are not wrong. But the "why" people behave/act is interesting to me. What does one have to gain by certain behavior? What is the payoff? Simple, but complex. And probably unanswerable in a sense.

Enjoy the sanctuary you are in now. The next change may be drastic.

Bob


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followup to......Ok....I have a stupid question

On another note....

I noticed that when I am involved with a significant interest, (a person), I am much more motivated. Something worth thinking about.


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

When my heart is happily engaged, I am far more productive, too. I am an artist professionally and being emotionally happy certainly feeds my creativity.


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

I hear ya.

I haven't BEEN involved with anyone for 2 1/2 years, and the last one was the 25+ year one that ended very badly.
Like I said, I don't have a clue on how to even meet a man.

I'm hoping that one day I WILL be ready and that it will just "happen".

2 1/2 years is a loooooonnnnggggg time if ya know what I mean. (insert lots of deleted type here) But, I will wait. And learn to love myself.

Jean


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

Ha,

2 1/2 years is nothing.

Not belittling your position, but in my experiences, tis a short time. (type deleted here also)


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

OK.....you made me laugh.

Jean


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

(Ahem.)

I concur, I could do 2-1/2 years standing on my head! Let's leave it at that...


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RE: Ok....I have a stupid question

Really?

Shoot, here I thought I was VERY strange. I mean, I know people who've broken up with their spouse, and had a girl/boyfriend the next week.

After posting here, and there about this, I've decided to go to a book discussion group next week at the library.
I've GOT to get out of the house, and what could be safer than going to the library and discussing a book?

My goal will be talking to at least one man.
OK, how about making eye contact with at least one man?

Jean


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