Please explain flips up. Denim is going to do what ever it wants. To distress I've used a dremel tool with the sandpaper attachment. When I hem jeans I use a hammer to beat the seams. They go under the pressure foot alot easier and I use a "Jean a ma jig" or a hump jumper.

Im not quite sure what you mean by flip up, your talking about the hem themselves how they fold up while wearing them? If so, I DESPISE THAT TOO! I havent found a way to sew them so they dont do that but I make sure when I put my jeans in the dryer the hem is not already rolled up because the dryer sets it like that, you could always iorn if its persistant, otherwise I wash my jeans inside out regaurdless to prevent it fading the wash & whiskering.
As far as distressing them, go to your kitchen & grab the box grater, or a handheld one works too & just rub the denim along that, you can make little rips, big worn in areas, & even those big rips they seem to be selling jeans with them on the thighs & over pockets.

I've found that turning the jeans inside-out before putting them in the dryer helps keep the hems from turning up.

When I hem jeans, I trim away the seam edges that need to be turned under--always keeps them flat for me.