Return to the School Forum | Post a Follow-Up

What to do when daughter does poorly and then says 'SO'

Posted by Ronda_in_Carolina ( on
Tue, Sep 3, 02 at 17:39

My daughter has always done well at school. Last year she had a poor teacher and didn't learn what she should have. This year she is in a new school and doesn't seem to care about doing well. Gifts and begging don't motivate her. She has to re-do all her incorrect work, and even THAT doesn't seem to work. She is in second grade, a grade that I loved, so I just don't understand. She is smart but I do not believe she is bored with the material.

Can I reshape her view of school? How can I convey the importance of learning?



Follow-Up Postings:

RE: What to do when daughter does poorly and then says 'SO'

Goodness it could truly be a number of things! First of all with all due respect, it's never a good idea to 'bribe" kids with gifts in order to make them do better in school. School is something that they have to do, the reward is in the knowledge she gains and is able to use in all aspects of life!:)
My son had an AWFUL teacher last year for third grade, he lost interest too, and WAS bored, he didn't care about homework or anything else either. In our case it was the teacher. There are a number of books available on children and education in your local library, try the author Alfie Kohn, he has 3 very educational and eye opening books about our children and school, and he touches on problems as well. Have you discussed this with her new teacher yet? Maybe time is of the essence too here, maybe she needs to get back into the swing of things after a rough year last time!!:)
Try the books, really, there are many ideas and possibilities to explore with this, and related books should be near by! Best of luck and don't give up, she's still young!:)

RE: What to do when daughter does poorly and then says 'SO'

I think a talk with the teacher is in order. Eliminate all distractions--weekday TV, but allow weekend if you want. Compliment her on work well done. What is the attitude of her friends toward school work? Attitudes are contagious.

RE: What to do when daughter does poorly and then says 'SO'

What worked for us was getting a tutor. You can call your local high school and they will recommend one of their top students usually at $25/hr. It's amazing how quick they will turn around and start getting the good grades, but even more importantly, they will start taking pride in their work again.
...just a thought.

RE: What to do when daughter does poorly and then says 'SO'

How's it going?? Have you tried any of our suggestions yet? Best of luck!:)

RE: What to do when daughter does poorly and then says 'SO'

Any updates?

RE: What to do when daughter does poorly and then says 'SO'

I hope it's going better for your daughter. I can't help but think that the move to a new school is probably traumatic on her along with not knowing the material. Hiring a tutor is a good idea as well as inviting a couple of girls from her new school to your house for a get to know each other party. Don't bribe her with things, that rarely works to their benefit. Get involved in the school in every way possible so, she knows that you're a part of her new and scary environment. Look at it from her point of view. She's very young, moved to a new school, probably doesn't know anyone there, doesn't know the material, and you're expecting her to redo work that she doesn't understand. She's not feeling good about all this and her only retort is "So!". If she were a teenager, you would have to think something was up with her. She's just younger, that's all. Take it easy, don't get frustrated, and hire someone to help her. High school kids are more than competent to do the tutoring for a lot less and will be a lot more comfortable for your daughter. Good luck!

RE: What to do when daughter does poorly and then says 'SO'

Why was the teacher awful? Be specific

RE: What to do when daughter does poorly and then says 'SO'

Flowergirl has a good point. Children should not be rewarded for doing what they are supposed to to. Working hard and getting good grades is not an option. It is LAW. At least it is in this house.

Everybody has responsibilities, even children. Her responsibilities are to do well in school and do her chores. When one does not fulfill her responsibilities, there are consequences.

My son was not doing well at the beginning of last year. So I made a new rule, 1 hour of homework, every day, wether he has homework or not, until his grades went up. I copied worksheets from the net that where grade appropriate and related the work he was currently doing in school. Also a lot of reading comprehension sheets where he had to read a short essay and then answer questions about it.

Then, I had his teachers send home a weekly progress report that listed all assignments and his grade for that assignment.

One semester of that and he was on the honor roll. I backed off on our nightly sessions, but continued getting the weekly progress reports. Any week he came back with a poor grade on his progress report he had a week of nightly sessions with mom. That only happened a couple of times. I guess he prefered to do the job right the first time and play outside after school then sit at the dining room table with me.


 o Post a Follow-Up

Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum.

    If you are a member, please log in.

    If you aren't yet a member, join now!

Return to the School Forum

Information about Posting

  • You must be logged in to post a message. Once you are logged in, a posting window will appear at the bottom of the messages. If you are not a member, please register for an account.
  • Please review our Rules of Play before posting.
  • Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review your post, make changes and upload photos.
  • After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
  • Before posting copyrighted material, please read about Copyright and Fair Use.
  • We have a strict no-advertising policy!
  • If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
  • If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.

Learn more about in-text links on this page here