What to do when daughter does poorly and then says 'SO'

21 years ago

My daughter has always done well at school. Last year she had a poor teacher and didn't learn what she should have. This year she is in a new school and doesn't seem to care about doing well. Gifts and begging don't motivate her. She has to re-do all her incorrect work, and even THAT doesn't seem to work. She is in second grade, a grade that I loved, so I just don't understand. She is smart but I do not believe she is bored with the material.

Can I reshape her view of school? How can I convey the importance of learning?

Ideas?

Thanks.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (8)

FlowergirlDeb2
21 years ago
Goodness it could truly be a number of things! First of all with all due respect, it's never a good idea to 'bribe" kids with gifts in order to make them do better in school. School is something that they have to do, the reward is in the knowledge she gains and is able to use in all aspects of life!:)
My son had an AWFUL teacher last year for third grade, he lost interest too, and WAS bored, he didn't care about homework or anything else either. In our case it was the teacher. There are a number of books available on children and education in your local library, try the author Alfie Kohn, he has 3 very educational and eye opening books about our children and school, and he touches on problems as well. Have you discussed this with her new teacher yet? Maybe time is of the essence too here, maybe she needs to get back into the swing of things after a rough year last time!!:)
Try the books, really, there are many ideas and possibilities to explore with this, and related books should be near by! Best of luck and don't give up, she's still young!:)
sheilajoyce_gw
21 years ago
I think a talk with the teacher is in order. Eliminate all distractions--weekday TV, but allow weekend if you want. Compliment her on work well done. What is the attitude of her friends toward school work? Attitudes are contagious.
Related Discussions
When you say 'I'm going to bake a cake', what do you mean?
Q
Comments (62)
I love beets. Especially ones fresh from the garden then roasted. Then there's Harvard Beets and pickled beets. I've been craving roasted brussels sprouts, but neither husband nor dd like them...dd used to, but now she's so anti-mom she's sworn off lots of stuff she used to like. Grits I learned to like when I was in Grad school in Billsburg, VA. I liked to go to the Chickahominy House to have a Virginian breakfast: eggs over easy, a slice of Virginia ham and grits, with a buttermilk biscuit. You could have redeye gravy, but I preferred to smush my eggs into the grits. Then there's egg/cheese/grits casserole. Cornbread is best slathered with butter, or drizzled with honey. I rarely do both anymore, but I used to. I brought rolls for the trip to MI to have Thanksgiving. I was up until 2:00 am on Thursday making them. I intended to make whole wheat "brown and serve" rolls, but I didn't hear the timer ding, and so in a panic, I baked them completely so I could taste test and make sure they were edible (they were, although some were big enough to be hamburger buns). For the young fry I made PIllsbury crescent rolls...as I know that dd and others prefer those. On the way home today she was munching on one and said "Oh, what is is that makes crescent rolls so yummy." "in a word," I said, "lots of fat." I have to say that driving up to Hastings, MI on Thursday morning was wonderful. A typical Michigan Thanksgiving day--misc. flurries and the sun breaking through glowering clouds over golden and russet fields which had been lightly frosted with a diamond dust. Breathtaking.
...See More
When do you say 'It's Spring!'?
Q
Comments (26)
Ann, I agree with you about the short dreary days of December. Happily everyone in our family was all well and Christmas went without a hitch or an illness, save a few sinus infections, which none were extraordinary. Sadly, this year we celebrated Christmas on winter solstice and it just seemed to dreary, even the eve of preparation when there were guests dropping in for gift exchange But why did we do that? One of our sons hosted this year (I have quit). They had just moved into her new home and the neighborhood has a beautiful Christmas program that day and all the lights are lit at 3:30 p.m. for the pageantry. They wanted us to enjoy it as soon as we had lunch and gift exchange was behind us, move outside and into our cars before dark (I suspect). :-) She is a good host and it was lovely and the house, food, hospitality and neighborhood were gorgeously delicious but it was a very short day which began to redeem itself the following morning as the sun was 30 seconds earlier in the a.m. and 2 minutes later in the p.m.
...See More
So what do those preachers have to say now?
Q
Comments (16)
The preacher who was referring to a date last year ... ... has changed his tune. As for the Mayans ... I, too, have heard that it's to be just a change of calendar, not the end of the world. Do you ever wonder, when God was so busy dealing with the Israelites in Egypt, Canaan, and wherever ... ... what was going on, as far as (that) God was concerned ... ... in other parts of the world? My boss said that I'm to love my neighbour as myself ... ... which means that I try every which way to resolve issues between us before I start throwing bombs at him/them. From what I hear - our polluting of the oceans, the air, the land, and most everything ... plus pretty well fishing out the oceans - when we have moved a couple of billion on the world up to about six billion, going on seven ... ... may mean that humankind'll finish themselves off of this world, leaving it to just the bugs and the insects ... ... to save God the bother. ole joyful
...See More
What do you do when you hate your daughter's haircut?
Q
Comments (29)
I remember when the afro was popular and I asked my Mom if I could have one and she said no. I was in the 7th grade and thought how mean. Well when I was a freshman(14) in high school, I asked again and she told me that I could do it IF I was responsible about it and kept it neat and always looked presentable. I remember it as one of my first big decisions and I was so proud of the fact that she had enough faith in me that I would do the right thing and I did. Fast forward a gazillion years later and my D son asked if he could grow his hair out so that he could wear it braided. At the time he was 14 and I remembered the encounters with my Mom and I said the same thing to him. My hubby immediately said no and we had a family meeting and we made it clear that if he didn't take care of his hair AND save up the money to pay for getting it braided himself, then it would be cut off. Well my son is now almost 22 with hair below his shoulders and he is very responsible about taking care of his hair. Actually he is almost obsessed about it :-) That was one of the first real mature decisions for him, just like it was for me. I think depending on the maturity level of the kid, 14 is not too young to start experimenting with hair. As long as it is made clear to the kid what the potential ramifications are, then I think it is fine. I think we as adults have to remember what it is like to be that age and struggle with individuality vs what's popular and how hard it can be for teenagers. It is just hair and it will grow back. I have had every imaginable hairstyle under the sun,afro, long, short, asymmetrical, mullet and braids. Each style represented me during a particular period and I'm glad that I had the opportunity to do different things. We have to support, be honest but let them discover who they are. Oh yeah one other thing, as soon as my son started growing facial hair, he loved it and I hated it. He would let it grow long and I would beg for him to please shave and my hubby gently reminded ME about letting him express his individuality :-) To me he looked like Grizzly Adams but to my son it made him look older. Ughh.... So the running joke between us was that I would call him Grizzly but if he wanted to look like a mountaim man, that was his choice. Again fast forward a few years and he has a very nice goatee that is now well manicured and he looks great. I remembered my own experience and let him be and he eventually grew out of the Grizzly Adams look. Thank goodness!
...See More
pistil
21 years ago
What worked for us was getting a tutor. You can call your local high school and they will recommend one of their top students usually at $25/hr. It's amazing how quick they will turn around and start getting the good grades, but even more importantly, they will start taking pride in their work again.
...just a thought.
FlowergirlDeb2
21 years ago
How's it going?? Have you tried any of our suggestions yet? Best of luck!:)
FlowergirlDeb2
21 years ago
Any updates?
Frieda__IL
21 years ago
I hope it's going better for your daughter. I can't help but think that the move to a new school is probably traumatic on her along with not knowing the material. Hiring a tutor is a good idea as well as inviting a couple of girls from her new school to your house for a get to know each other party. Don't bribe her with things, that rarely works to their benefit. Get involved in the school in every way possible so, she knows that you're a part of her new and scary environment. Look at it from her point of view. She's very young, moved to a new school, probably doesn't know anyone there, doesn't know the material, and you're expecting her to redo work that she doesn't understand. She's not feeling good about all this and her only retort is "So!". If she were a teenager, you would have to think something was up with her. She's just younger, that's all. Take it easy, don't get frustrated, and hire someone to help her. High school kids are more than competent to do the tutoring for a lot less and will be a lot more comfortable for your daughter. Good luck!
SAG1
21 years ago
Why was the teacher awful? Be specific
Kay_H
21 years ago
Flowergirl has a good point. Children should not be rewarded for doing what they are supposed to to. Working hard and getting good grades is not an option. It is LAW. At least it is in this house.

Everybody has responsibilities, even children. Her responsibilities are to do well in school and do her chores. When one does not fulfill her responsibilities, there are consequences.

My son was not doing well at the beginning of last year. So I made a new rule, 1 hour of homework, every day, wether he has homework or not, until his grades went up. I copied worksheets from the net that where grade appropriate and related the work he was currently doing in school. Also a lot of reading comprehension sheets where he had to read a short essay and then answer questions about it.

Then, I had his teachers send home a weekly progress report that listed all assignments and his grade for that assignment.

One semester of that and he was on the honor roll. I backed off on our nightly sessions, but continued getting the weekly progress reports. Any week he came back with a poor grade on his progress report he had a week of nightly sessions with mom. That only happened a couple of times. I guess he prefered to do the job right the first time and play outside after school then sit at the dining room table with me.

Kay.

What to do when daughter does poorly and then says 'SO'

Comments (8)

FlowergirlDeb2

sheilajoyce_gw

Related Discussions

pistil

FlowergirlDeb2

FlowergirlDeb2

Frieda__IL

SAG1

Kay_H

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US