Hey g, I hear ya on no outside. It's darn raw here today. Was supposed to be warm, but you can't tell it by me. I've had a number of experiences over the years, but I'll tell ya'll about the first one I remember. When I was five my grandfather died. I had wanted to go visit him just before then but my parents wouldn't let me...long story. So, when he died I wanted to go to the funeral bad. They wouldn't let me, said I was too young. I was very adamant and really threw a fit about it. I didnt' get to go. Shortly thereafter, one night I was in bed. A storm was coming, something woke me up and I saw a figure of a man at the window putting the window down. I knew it was him. Right after that my mother came in to shut the window and was surprised it was already shut since I was too small to do it. I told her Grandpop had did it. That summer several times he came and shut the window before a storm. After that my mother wasn't surprised when she came in and it was already done. About ten years ago my father died. I live in the house where I grew up. Had moved back here to help him a few years before he died. Sometime in the first year after he died, I was at the computer in the living room with my back to the hallway. All of a sudden I heard his loud.. Hey.. It was how he always greeted us. My mother died before him and that was about the same time I kept feeling her around when I'd talk about her. Smiles. Guess he wanted to make himself known too. My mother and I learned when I first moved away from home that we could do the mental messages to each other. If one wanted the other to call, we'd just think of it and they would get the message. Then I started doing it with my aunt and later my best friend and I would do it. Still do it with my aunt and best friend. Friend lives across country and we don't talk often, unless one of us sends 'the message'. To this day I always can tell when my mother is around because we smell the cigarette smoke. No one has smoked in this house in twenty years at least.

Shutterbug, I can't tell you in words how much I identify with what you have written. I'm a 31 year old male and my father passed when I was 25. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier but it doesn't it...but it's up to you how you internalize that. Whenever I start to cry (right now) as a result of the horrible images associated with my father's death, I do my best to remember that he is/was/always will be worth the tears. You get one father in this life and that crap will always f' you up if you were close but it's one of those things...is it better to have never loved or to have loved and lost? No right answer here - just telling you what works for me. What does not jive is cheaping your experience by taking an antidepressant. I started taking Paxil when my father was at a hopeless state of treatment (24yrs old) and still can't get off those sob's. Sure they help my mood but getting off them is like trying to quit heroine (not that I've ever tried). In short, I wish you all the best in your recovery. If you ever need a penpal regarding the subject, you've got one (joedam66@aol.com) Lots of love, Joe

I don't know that I've ever been to this forum, but today I find myself drawn here for some reason. I can't cook. At all. The other night I burned 5 lonely beets from my garden. Burned as in "fried beets" by the time I came back from taking a shower after forgetting that I'd put them on the stove. A week before that, I made "cajun ham steak." You know, those pre-cooked things that only require reheating for 5 mins or less? Admittedly, I have the attention span of a gnat. I can't cook while camping, as I inevitably set off the FA in our camper. One time I reheated a piece of pizza for dinner. I set it in the oven on 250 or less, knowing that I would likely burn it. I found it the next morning. I fear getting old when I actually have an excuse for all this. But I can make a killer pancake or scrambled eggs. What's up with that???

This is just too funny, and you are way too defensive for me to think you sincere in the least. I looked you up last night and had my suspicions but held my tongue, waiting to see if you would do exactly as you have done here. You have requested nothing from any of these boards that you cannot find yourself just by googling. The girl you're talking about has more of such resources at her own disposal than all of us put together. Not to mention you, your mother, all the rest of your family, your friends, their family and friends, and all of her own family and friends. How much more can one pity party possibly require? But you chose to come to boards of strangers, asking them to offer their email address and home address to not only you but also a criminal - a criminal that does not exist, at least not for the reasons you express. Then, you have the nerve to insult us because you screwed up your own scam. We immediately saw the "WARNING SIGNS" from YOU! So, next time try harder to remember why you don't post to many of these boards, oookkaaayyy. And you spelled clique wrong, to which I do not subscribe.