You write beautifully, Michelle and touched a soft spot with this thread. I have old correspondence too tucked here and there. I haven't started reading the scores of letters my father saved, tucked away in his dresser to be found years later by me when my mother died. Tied in silk ribbons. Most from my mother, but some from my sister and I. Who'd thunk?? A big, burly soldier carting that precious cargo home with him from the war. I have letter he wrote to my mother. I found her stash, also tied up in silk ribbons. I just could bawl right now, there are tears in my eyes. They loved each other passionately for sixty years. I would have felt like an interloper any sooner, but I am ready to start reading them. Old letters are like smells. I love those 'everyday' memories they conjure up. You know the kind. Those memories, some of them totally forgettable one just happens to think of decades later and smiles. ' What I chose to keep for myself out of my parents estate ......makes me smile. I gave away the most valuable items and kept the memories. How is your doggie doing with the rehab?

There are several interesting gardening activities for volunters being run by bostoncates.org. Some require attending an orientation session and all require registering in advance. It looks like a great organization. Here is a link that might be useful: volunteer ops at boston cares

When she does come home which is rare (we go visit her - by plane so not much of a way to bring stuff) she is never in the mood to go through stuff. I think about the third time my kid was "not in the mood" (a grownup is "not in the mood"?), I'd be saying "OK, then I'm simply going to throw it all out as I see fit. This is my house, and you don't get to decide that I can keep storing your stuff because of your moods." That "I'm not in the mood" would make me really mad. I hope she's not really saying that to you! I wouldn't care that I "have room," for several reasons: • Now is when I have the time and energy; it if sits there, it's going to be something must be deal with right at a point when I don't have time and energy. • Clutter saps energy. Its mere existence in my house is emotionally/ psychologically/ mentally damaging. • Stuff needs maintenance. You have to move it around, shift it out of the way, deal with it if it gets damaged. • I can't use that space for my stuff; because my child's stuff is on my attic shelves, I have to forgo using that space for something *I* would like to put there. Even if I have a sizeable attic--maybe I'd like to spread out my own belongings onto those shelves. In fact, I'm about to get really stern with my college-age DD over this very issue. I ask her to deal with stuff like this while she's on break, even just one box, and she says, "I will but not NOW, Mom," and then she doesn't do it at all. She's going to get the "Take care of this box today, or I will consider that to be my permission to do whatever I want with it." I've got to figure out when her spring break is and try to get a couple of days off during that time frame so I can make her help me with her junk. I've already told her: "Set aside two days to help me with this--I'm tired of it being back-burnered every time you come down." I just need to make good on it from my end.

I used to have a neighbor that held a party every year for her friends and neighbors. It always had a specific reason. One year it was for a local young man who needed medical expenses. It is always for a good cause, but also a personal one as many would know the recipient . It was a way for women to get together , we always each brought food, and have quality time. My cousin was invited to a neighbor who throws a birthday party for herself. But, she also expects that those invited donate money to a refuge group of her choice. I never feel bad for not giving " just a dollar" at the check out line for this or that. I give to two major organizations, and the rest is up to my discretion. Two weeks ago, the Girl Scouts were asking for food donations. They had a list and it was comprised of things that could go for a Thanksgiving dinner. Having been a Girl Scout leader, this organization is close to my heart, so of course I filled up a bag to donate to them. One other that I can't say no to is buying a poppy from the veterans on Veteran"s Day. My DH is a Vietnam vet so that too is close to my heart.