Hi. I'm in OC too. Been here since the early '70's. Welcome! The other thing you want to watch out for is Mello-Roos taxes in newer neighborhoods. I paid those on my first condo, but it was based on a mortgage not much over $125k. They can add quite a bit to your property tax bill and they are not tax deductible. Don't rush it. Rent sucks, but so does being house poor. Spend some more time here. North OC is a lot different than South OC. I've lived in both and done a complete 180 on where I prefer to be. In the 20 years I've owned homes, I've been in an equity position and upside down on several occasions. It will work out, but wait until the time is right. Oh, and that thing about waiting until you're married....I think it's nuts. Don't wait to do anything you want (and CAN) for someone else. I know someone who wants to go to Hawaii only when they are married. It's a 5 1/2 hour flight. This person is almost 50. They haven't been. There is no guarantee that two people always mean two incomes. BUT, don't do something you can't afford on your own either.

Something seems to be missing in EVERY thread about Single vs. Double Bowl sinks. Large single sinks have the space for large items but lack the versatility of having two bowls. Double bowl sinks, regardless of the ratio of the bowls, just aren't big enough for a lot of items. But wait, you can have the best of both worlds IF you have a little space. When planning our kitchen remodel/expansion my wife and I got into the age old one bowl vs. two bowl argument. Our old kitchen had a Kohler Executive Chef double bowl sink. The larger bowl was not big enough for big stuff so I wanted a single bowl - she wanted a double bowl, so here is what I did. I had our KD order a 54" wide, quad door sink base (Medallion) and I put a Blanco Diamond Super Single Bowl (33" X 22") Silgranit Sink (440194) on the left and a Blanco Precis Medium Bowl (13" X 18") Silgranit Sink (440144) on the right. I separated the two sinks by 5" to allow sufficient strength for the granite "Bridge" between the two sinks. I also had 5 groves cut into the "Granite Bridges to allow water to flow between the sinks in the unlikely event someone left the water running in one of the sinks. While it does take some space and a little imagination to accommodate this arrangement I believe it is the best solution to the one vs. two bowl dilemma - we simply LOVE it. Just a comment about the Blanco Silgranit sinks - I cannot ever see us going back to a Stainless Steel or Cast Iron sink - Blanco Silgranit sinks are IMHO the beat sinks available today.

I usually don't agree with the catch-phrase "guilt parenting", at least not the way it's often applied, but I will say this... The key is for you both (but especially him, as her Dad) to not let yourselves feel *guilty*. I say this NOT to suggest anyone be insensitive or unfeeling (actually quite the opposite) but mainly because when people feel guilty they tend to really, really hate feeling that way. Thus to get rid of the guilty feelings they will often do things that aren't always healthy or productive. Either they'll overindulge (this is where a lot of the complaints one hears about "guilt parenting" come in, as in indulging a kid who could use more discipline) or the opposite: they will develop an overly cold/harsh approach and deflect blame so that it becomes all someone else's fault (this is especially sad when it is the kid). Simply because they soooooo cannot bear the idea of having done something "wrong", or something that had some less-than-perfect side effect. Both reactions to feeling *guilty* cause problems, and both mean there will be someone who feels short-changed, or like the scapegoat. This type of guilt feeling is based on the idea that the choice someone made (in your husband's case: having an additional child) was "wrong", and furthermore that being "wrong" is simply unacceptable. Instead, the idea should be to feel *responsible*, which yes, does mean being *accountable* and owning the choice, but it has a positive aspect that guilt feelings don't: a person can be *responsible* in a good way, and they also have some power to control the effects of a situation for the good. If your husband can draw the important distinction between taking *responsibility* for the choice he made to have another child and the additional efforts he will have to make to ensure it goes smoothly for everyone vs. feeling *guilty* about his choice (which there is no un-doing now), he will realize that improving the situation isn't hopeless and therefore he will be less upset about it. He'll also be able to make more sense of what is actually going on psychologically in the situation and what he needs to do and say when he is able to face it and say "okay, here's where the issue is" without being afraid to face it because deep down he's afraid he made an irrevocable "wrong" decision. If it's just a FACT of life, as opposed to some supposed evil deed, it will be like any other situation where there's just certain responsibilities that can be anticipated and controlled that go along with the choice. It's not really that different than getting a new kitten when you already have a cat. Nobody should or would feel guilty for that (as long as they can adequately take care of both), it's just like: "well here's what we need to do for the introductory/transition period" and as we know, that involves anticipating that the older cat will be hissy and/or disappear for a while and will need to be reassured that s/he is not being replaced. No guilt, no judgment, just the facts of what to expect you're going to have to deal with when you get another cat. The humans aren't bad humans and the cats aren't bad cats, the situation just is what it is and requires specific steps.

First a HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU. Omg I can not imagine my life with GW. Everyone here is beyond kind helpful supportive and understanding. NO one has ever judged me on GW. And this was hard for me to post images of my home. Insecurity is my middle name. I wish I could change this room this second. Like betwitched. Nose twitch done!!! I have no magic. I am going to really study all your suggestions and implement them. Stir the pot and see what works and does not. Truly GW is full of amazing minds, voices, ideas, inspiration and supportive people. Les917, Only in the heat of the summer do we like those windows covered. We have electric controlled blinds. Right now they are closed but I love them open. Everything you describe is exactly as I have been thinking I plan to paint the rest of the built ins White. I have thought about moving the cornice all the way up. It should have been done years ago. But the red sofa may be going to another room along with the chair. My DH has suggested we either buy new leather pieces for this room or we move brown leather from the basement up to this room. We use the red in the kids media room and figure out that space later. We could move the TV to one of those adjustable wall mounts. My best friend said I need to reconfigure the fireplace mantle and mount the tv there. I need to convince DH on this one. Loribee, YES, I love stripes too. Kiko, Yes, I do like the drama in those drapes. And I love the cute pooch on the porch. Vampiressrn, Wow, I feel so honored to have you respond to me. I think your style is amazing. I read all your posts like a groupie. I love your posts. I do like brown. I used to have my kitchen painted this medium brown color called Camel coat. The slight problem with the brown walls is do I paint everything? Or only the brown on the wall with the built ins or maybe three walls, all the walls move open to other areas. Something to consider. Paintergirl, Great ideas. I do need to embrace the space. I need to frame more art. I rarely paint my dogs. Too Hallmarky. I love those images you suggested. Especially the paint color. Notice how much in the image above. Gwbr54, Thank you for your sweeet words. I get very confused with the terms modern and contemporary. I wish the term Modern did not connote the style in the 70s with plastic, metal and clean lines. Or maybe I am a complete idiot and the term is Modernism and I am getting that confused. Send me back to class. And is it possible that we change our style as we grow up? Which means some of this rubbish about me was bought with the understanding I was a French provincial girl. I could flush that style. It is not me at all. But the table in the kitchen so French, I like it painted white. Organic modern or contemporary look? I like it. I have never been a fan of Bamboo or even natural fibers but the images you posted could work for me. I love the chunky candle sticks the rich rug and the drapes over shades. It is ironic you have the Ethan Allen image, years ago my DH and I got into a huge fight because I wanted EA sofa and chairs for the same room. He felt is was too fussy, This coming from a guy who would be happy eating off a dog crate. SandyP, I agree more in the fireplace area. Definitely need to hone in on that space with drama My budget is maybe a few $1000, yes I am limited in this frail economy. I have sentimental only to the vases and the vase picture. I could toss out everything. Including the floors. But that would be a $100,000 budget. Gosh, I wish I were a Rockerfeller or Kennedy or even Gates. I do not like black rod iron, never did and never will. I am searching today for some better tables. As for Naked windows. I love naked veggies, never thought about the windows. I think for this room to come together the windows will be a key to pulling the room together. Ideas so far and feel free to add any more... Option 1: Sell the red and repaint the kitchen. Buy something in brown leather, bag the hideous end tables and put up drapes from ceiling to floor. Repaint the built Ins too. Option 2: Keep the red sofa, paint the walls, , bag the hideous end tables and put up drapes from ceiling to floor. Repaint the built In. Option 3: Get lazy and hire someone which in turn angers the DH as he thinks I should be able to do this. It would anger my oldest daughter as she says I am constantly changing all the rooms in the house I would need to hire a designer on retainer. And that could only happen if my last name were Rockefeller. Rooms I love and maybe I could make my own, but how? Yes, Plants, Trees that is it I can see this could help along with repainting the walls to a possible white color... The rug helps too but I have a similar rug. I think I even saw chairs like these at Marshalls I like what they did with making a corner conversation area. I like the drama on the wall. I might be able to borrow these ideas.. Why does this room work? Could I paint one wall like this? Or is this a bad, bad decor plan? I like these colors but the wing back chair is not me, I wonder if I use more crisp white with navy blue could that be a direction. And the kitchen could be painted the navy blue... would this work with the dark floors?