Hi. I'm in OC too. Been here since the early '70's. Welcome! The other thing you want to watch out for is Mello-Roos taxes in newer neighborhoods. I paid those on my first condo, but it was based on a mortgage not much over $125k. They can add quite a bit to your property tax bill and they are not tax deductible. Don't rush it. Rent sucks, but so does being house poor. Spend some more time here. North OC is a lot different than South OC. I've lived in both and done a complete 180 on where I prefer to be. In the 20 years I've owned homes, I've been in an equity position and upside down on several occasions. It will work out, but wait until the time is right. Oh, and that thing about waiting until you're married....I think it's nuts. Don't wait to do anything you want (and CAN) for someone else. I know someone who wants to go to Hawaii only when they are married. It's a 5 1/2 hour flight. This person is almost 50. They haven't been. There is no guarantee that two people always mean two incomes. BUT, don't do something you can't afford on your own either.

Well, thanks for all the posts. I'm kinda surprised this thread is still kicking around after all these months. Not surprisingly, our marriage is still in what I'd call "a struggling phase." If I could find (and afford) a marriage counselor, I'd seek one out. Our problems continue and i guess that's just part of life. Last week, he helped my daughter with a thorny problem. He's a professional and was able to give her some sound counsel on a financial matter. I was so grateful that he was willing to do that. And then when he came home that day, he groused and groused about how he had to skip lunch because of *my* daughter and her problems and it took him two hours to do the research and then send her a note explaining what he'd found and how he sure would have liked to have had lunch and blah, blah, blah. I keep revisiting the Ann Landers question: Am I better off with him or without him and I still don't have an answer. He's just so selfish sometimes and he's smarter than I am (by a lot) so he wins all the arguments. My self-esteem has plummeted since I met him and I've gained 25 pounds and some days, I just sit and cry. Still glad you asked?

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. bnicebkind: I was all prepared to commute to the new school if he felt like he couldn't do it. But we visited the schools beforehand. We went on lengthy tours, saw our new house and made a fun day of it. Like your suggestied shaknzmom: I just asked them to keep an open mind and we would see what we can do. We had just a couple of moments where my now 13 year old was sad, but I just said to him "you can do this, I know you can. And it's going to be alright, I promise" Then we discussed the postitives of the move and I promised to let him stay connected with old friends on the weekend. And like you suggested socks: I tried not to get too hung up on the birthday thing. It actually worked out pretty well. We moved to our new home on a Friday and his birthday was that Monday. I drove them to our former town so he could go to school there for his last day. We celebrated his birthday as a family that night and had a bigger sleepover with old friends planned for the upcoming weekend. That gave him something to look forward to. But we developed another problem (a good one). By the end of the week, he had already made a really good friend that lives 3 houses down and wanted to invite him too! Anyway, he had a great birthday and all three of the kids have made great adjustments to their schools. (preschool, elementary, and middle). Both elementary schools - former and current have gone out of their way to help my middle son adjust. I only with they did more to help middle schoolers. I know that they could arrange some pen pal writing going on, or a few teachers could at least have e-mailed him to see how he is adjusting. And I think that his current teachers could make some contact with us to welcome us or reassure us of his transition. They just don't do that at this level, at least not the schools around here. I know what you mean shaknzmom about the coddling. I KNOW I have done too much of that with my oldest and my other children handle change much better that he does. And they get along with others better and problem solve easier. I guess it's back to how you learn everything on your first one and the other's benefit from your wisdom. For me it also has alot to do with guilt. It's like if we are not providing that perfect family setting where everything is right and predictable, I feel guilty. But you know, we have given up so much for our kids to have what they do and we do the best we can because we love them. I really need to let it go. Thank you for your kind words of support. I had posted at the kitchen table forum earlier because this forum just wasn't moving. They have some great people over there too.

First a HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU. Omg I can not imagine my life with GW. Everyone here is beyond kind helpful supportive and understanding. NO one has ever judged me on GW. And this was hard for me to post images of my home. Insecurity is my middle name. I wish I could change this room this second. Like betwitched. Nose twitch done!!! I have no magic. I am going to really study all your suggestions and implement them. Stir the pot and see what works and does not. Truly GW is full of amazing minds, voices, ideas, inspiration and supportive people. Les917, Only in the heat of the summer do we like those windows covered. We have electric controlled blinds. Right now they are closed but I love them open. Everything you describe is exactly as I have been thinking I plan to paint the rest of the built ins White. I have thought about moving the cornice all the way up. It should have been done years ago. But the red sofa may be going to another room along with the chair. My DH has suggested we either buy new leather pieces for this room or we move brown leather from the basement up to this room. We use the red in the kids media room and figure out that space later. We could move the TV to one of those adjustable wall mounts. My best friend said I need to reconfigure the fireplace mantle and mount the tv there. I need to convince DH on this one. Loribee, YES, I love stripes too. Kiko, Yes, I do like the drama in those drapes. And I love the cute pooch on the porch. Vampiressrn, Wow, I feel so honored to have you respond to me. I think your style is amazing. I read all your posts like a groupie. I love your posts. I do like brown. I used to have my kitchen painted this medium brown color called Camel coat. The slight problem with the brown walls is do I paint everything? Or only the brown on the wall with the built ins or maybe three walls, all the walls move open to other areas. Something to consider. Paintergirl, Great ideas. I do need to embrace the space. I need to frame more art. I rarely paint my dogs. Too Hallmarky. I love those images you suggested. Especially the paint color. Notice how much in the image above. Gwbr54, Thank you for your sweeet words. I get very confused with the terms modern and contemporary. I wish the term Modern did not connote the style in the 70s with plastic, metal and clean lines. Or maybe I am a complete idiot and the term is Modernism and I am getting that confused. Send me back to class. And is it possible that we change our style as we grow up? Which means some of this rubbish about me was bought with the understanding I was a French provincial girl. I could flush that style. It is not me at all. But the table in the kitchen so French, I like it painted white. Organic modern or contemporary look? I like it. I have never been a fan of Bamboo or even natural fibers but the images you posted could work for me. I love the chunky candle sticks the rich rug and the drapes over shades. It is ironic you have the Ethan Allen image, years ago my DH and I got into a huge fight because I wanted EA sofa and chairs for the same room. He felt is was too fussy, This coming from a guy who would be happy eating off a dog crate. SandyP, I agree more in the fireplace area. Definitely need to hone in on that space with drama My budget is maybe a few $1000, yes I am limited in this frail economy. I have sentimental only to the vases and the vase picture. I could toss out everything. Including the floors. But that would be a $100,000 budget. Gosh, I wish I were a Rockerfeller or Kennedy or even Gates. I do not like black rod iron, never did and never will. I am searching today for some better tables. As for Naked windows. I love naked veggies, never thought about the windows. I think for this room to come together the windows will be a key to pulling the room together. Ideas so far and feel free to add any more... Option 1: Sell the red and repaint the kitchen. Buy something in brown leather, bag the hideous end tables and put up drapes from ceiling to floor. Repaint the built Ins too. Option 2: Keep the red sofa, paint the walls, , bag the hideous end tables and put up drapes from ceiling to floor. Repaint the built In. Option 3: Get lazy and hire someone which in turn angers the DH as he thinks I should be able to do this. It would anger my oldest daughter as she says I am constantly changing all the rooms in the house I would need to hire a designer on retainer. And that could only happen if my last name were Rockefeller. Rooms I love and maybe I could make my own, but how? Yes, Plants, Trees that is it I can see this could help along with repainting the walls to a possible white color... The rug helps too but I have a similar rug. I think I even saw chairs like these at Marshalls I like what they did with making a corner conversation area. I like the drama on the wall. I might be able to borrow these ideas.. Why does this room work? Could I paint one wall like this? Or is this a bad, bad decor plan? I like these colors but the wing back chair is not me, I wonder if I use more crisp white with navy blue could that be a direction. And the kitchen could be painted the navy blue... would this work with the dark floors?