Great advice, sweeby! Thanks so much for the idea. Unfortunately, like you I basically avoided the truth and did not record milestones etc. I can't accurately remember a lot of the details of her very early years. At least I kept all of the "official" documentation as well as samples of her work from age 3 on. However, it was frustrating to be asked over and over whether Alex echoed me, or used my hands to gesture, or whether there was ever a regression in skills, and on and on, with no clear memory about it. Did she reverse pronouns? Did she babble? When did she first use 2-word sentences? I had to tell them in many cases that I just didn't know. I could usually tell them when she had done something unusual and that if I hadn't noticed anything different, I thought it was probably pretty normal. Having 5 kids, I have a pretty good idea of what things were not typical. paige, how awful!! It's so sad that people can buckle under job pressure and trash their integrity. I don't see how anyone could do it. I do know, though, that it has happened to us twice in a less direct way. The playgroup teacher was simply unavailable for any documentation or official input, which I considered a breach of her contract but was obviously coming from "above." And the caseworker, who seems like such a lovely, warm person who cares about Alex when you're with her one-on-one, will turn on us in an IEP without batting an eye. DH told me to be very careful with what I say to her (I tend to trust people and will give way too much info). The district has made no secret of the fact that they want Alex off their sped rolls. Thank you for reminding me to be careful!!! A couple of days ago, I had a chance to speak briefly with Alex's new teacher (2nd grade). Alex was standing right there so I couldn't say too much. The teacher expressed amazement that Alex is on an IEP and said the usual we hear from teachers about how well she does, how smart she is, what a joy to have in class, etc. Then she went on to laugh about how much glue Alex used on her continents project that day. She marked Alex's project in red ink with words about not using so much glue and she called her "Miss Glue Girl" in front of other parents and kids after school. Alex burst into tears in the car and told me that she had had to do the project twice and still couldn't keep from getting glue all over. She said all the kids were watching. That's the kind of information I assumed would have been given to the teacher--Alex has *always* had a lot of difficulty with motor skills! Where are the reports and the people who are supposed to be working on Alex's behalf? I had requested a meeting with the teacher so that I could go over some of this stuff, but we hadn't had a chance to meet yet. Alex is left-handed, clumsy and awkward with any kind of project/art work/writing assignment, but there are easy accomodations for most of it (extra time, understanding that she *has* difficulty, left-handed scissors and perhaps a GLUE STICK????). The teacher also laughed about how serious Alex is. She told how she and another teacher were joking with her about her dress. They told her it was so pretty that they wanted it. When she just looked at them, one of them said, "What, you won't share your dress?" and Alex just looked at them and didn't laugh but frowned instead. Well, she doesn't understand that that is a joke. That remark would puzzle her because she wouldn't be sure how to take it. Again, that is something that has been noted in her records all along. This is the danger in teachers reporting that there are no problems and everything is fine!!!! Today she had a VERY hard time going to school because it's Fine Arts day. She absolutely dreads art day. In her arts class (or at least this was true last year), everyone does the same picture and they work on skills such as perspective, graphic sense, symmetry, etc. Alex is not able to do any of those things the "right" way, so her Woman or Dragon or Building looks very different from most of the other kids'. It does no good to tell her that art is what comes from the heart, because for a little girl attuned to following the rules and doing the best job, that is a moot point. Personally, I love her paintings because they are her and have a sort of Picasso-esque quality :) Luckily, we've not gotten to the age yet when these things are graded, but she knows the eyes on her person are not the same nor is the nose in quite the right spot etc so she is very unhappy with her work. Anyway, she has a little chime ball I gave her last year that hangs on a ribbon. I have had it for years. It's a little silver ball and if you shake it, will make a soft chiming noise. It's in a little basket thing so you can wear it as a pendant. I told her last year to imagine there was a little fairy inside and when she felt upset, to shake the ball and the fairy would sing to her. It worked pretty well and she told me that the fairy would sometimes tell her the right answers on her work. Today she put it on for Fine Arts. This year I gave her a small silver heart in a silk pouch for her to carry in her backpack. She gets it out when she is stressed and holds it in her hand to remind her how much Mama loves her and a piece of me is there with her to make her feel better. She made sure she had that today, too. We've not had as much trouble with meltdowns but she is very anxious and angry before and after school. She will sometimes go under her bed for a while and she likes the cupboard under the stairs. She goes in there with a little light and reads for a long time. I told her she's like Harry Potter, though I didn't mention that Harry didn't go in his cupboard out of choice.

Thanks for all the recent posts! It is heartwarming to see all the thoughtful responses. Raenjapan - The kitchen you posted is a standout for lots of reasons, not the least of which is the unusual color combo. Even if they go w/ cream cabs, it offers some ideas they can use - such as removing the soffet and adding simple crown molding. They are inclined to go with the Ikea apron sink that someone recommended in an above post, and your pic shows how much character that could add to a small space. alywa - Thanks so much for posting your before/after pics! Your cabs are so similar to theirs it offers a real life picture of how they would look painted w/new hardware. I can understand why people love your new kitchen. What an inspiration for someone attempting a redo on a tight budget. Thank you for sharing! divamum - I remember liking Celtic Moon's kitchen, too, though I'm not clear on the details...I'll try searching, too. rosie - Groom2b has weighed in on the plan I proposed. The idea of a baquette is a keeper with everyone, though he and DD would prefer it under the bay window as opposed to in the den area. Like you, I think it will be the most coveted seat! A few people have suggested opening the wall between the kitchen and den. Though it would bring in more natural light, and more floor plan possibilities, there's no other place to move the range and hood. Thanks again, for all your help and suggestions!

In our area, some of the school kids go door to door selling stuff for their fund raising projects. One of them has subscriptions for $12. When you buy those, you get a voucher for each magazine you paid for that you fill out with what magazine you want and mail in, and your subscription starts soon after. These would be useful for any age because they could pick whatever they want. ALTHOUGH.... I have a couple of 'little old lady friends' that I gave these to and they thought they were going to have to send a check with it and so they THREW THEM AWAY!!!!!!!! Even though it said "Prepaid" clearly all over the voucher! So if you give these, be sure to include a note that says that they're already paid for and all they have to do is pick what they want and send it in. I do understand there are some prepaid magazine offers that are scams. I've never had any trouble with the ones I buy from the school. And it's probably too late to get them now. If you want to do this next year, you could call your local school and see if any of their money-making projects include these. --Ilene

What age and how many kids are you working with? I think that makes a big difference. We did some benches with each student painting an unglazed ceramic tile (thumbprint animals on pastel backgrounds for the kindergarten). We outlined and glazed them, then the art teacher helped us fire them in the kiln. I saw another project that was great and could be done on benches -- each child drew their own version of something. I remember one was apples. Each apple was stylized, patchwork or had doodles and details. Some were short and fat, others were tall and narrow. I think one of the others was hearts and each heart was shaped and decorated the way the student wanted. The were very colorful and remind me somewhat of the animal bench above. They work best with smaller classes. We were doing entire grade levels and had to get more kids on one bench. The smaller classes had some fillers -- shapes we made from clay, cut out painted and glazed (suns, moons and rockets on the space bench, umbrellas on the beach bench, etc.). Others had mosaic pieces -- snakes and bugs on the garden bench and such.