Jo, here's hoping the funding will come through for your daughter. My nephew, who hoped to be Ivy bound, is still waiting for word on funding to see if he can attend his dream school. He's looking at it pragmatically, hoping for the best news, but not willing to saddle himself/family with a mountain of debt if the money isn't available. I keep telling my sister that just having gone through the process and being accepted has given him experience and confidence that money can't buy. Same goes for your daughter. My DS was fortunate to have attended prep school. It was his choice, based on opportunities there for advanced studies in subjects that he was passionate about. But it was a real tug leaving friends, hometown teams, activities, etc. It was a good choice for him, but what was really sweet was that one of his best friends, who graduated from our town's public school, ended up as one of his Harvard roommates a few years later. My point is, that other boy and DS ended up at the same place. Believe me, I know the advantages that prep schools can offer. But I truly believe, and have witnessed firsthand, that kids who are passionate, capable and motivated (like your DD!) will succeed regardless of whether or not they have a prep school background. Still keeping fingers crossed for her!!

jiggreen, Don't be discouraged by tuition at non ivy schools. You are lucky to be in PA, as Penn State is a great school for engineering and Computer science. However, if you son is a top student, he can get merit money at schools that are not in the top 50. There are many wonderful schools out there that can provide great educations and it doesn't have to cost a fortune. Check out Grove City College. It is small, but it has a good engineering program, and it costs about $16,000 a year -- total. My daughter was at the top of her class, and was admitted to more than one top universities. However, she received no merit aid, and our FAFSA said we could afford $45,000 a year (several years ago). Yeah, right. She also had a bright futures scholarship to a public school in Fl, plus full tuition scholarships to two different universities. We would have sent her to one of the top schools, but she would have had to pick up massive loans, or get a ROTC scholarship. She didn't want either, so she went to one of the full ride schools. She is happy, thriving, and has said more than once that she chose the best school for her. She does have the type of personality that adapts very well, so I think she would have done well anywhere. One of her best friends said that of all of their classmates she is the happiest. That includes those who are in the ivy league schools. She will graduate with no debt. With the outside scholarship that she won, our cost this semester was about $2000. Your son will have to decide several things before the searching begins. First, his major. If he is serious about engineering + computers, it doesn't make sense to look at schools that don't have it. Then, he has to decide whether he wants large, medium or small schools. Each has their advantages and disadvantages. Also, does he want urban, suburban or rural. Some of these things are important to the student, some aren't. Also, is going to a big sport's school important? Your son may not know the answers right now. He has to visit different campusses to decide what is important to him. Also, discuss finances with him now. Don't wait until he is accepted to his dream school to figure out that you can't afford it. Your son has some very good stats. Just remember that Harvard takes less than 10% of its applicants. They turn down tons of Validictorians and students with perfect SAT's. The same holds true of most of the top 25 schools. Getting in is a crap shoot. Do not let him get his heart set on an ivy league school. The big rule at College Confidential is "Love Thy Safety". Too many students applied only to top schools,and got in nowhere. There are more and more students applying to top schools every year. Really read the posts at CC. Look at andi and andison's story. He had top stats, and didn't get in anywhere. Have your son read College confidential. Make sure he doesn't have great disappointments next year at this time. There is a FAFSA estimator that will give you a rough idea as to what will be your expected financial contribution. You can have a low income, but high assets and be stunned by what you will be expected to contribute. You may not think that you can afford $34,000, but FAFSA may think otherwise. Be prepared. Sorry that this is long. It is an exciting time for your family. I wish you and your son nothing but the best.

My son is 20 years old and will be a junior this fall. He is very organized and responsible, and he still ran up substantial banking fees. He misunderstood and thought the automatic transfers from savings to checking were free. Anyway, here are my suggestions. First, check with the college - it's possible all the university fees, etc. can be paid online. At my son's school, students have an online account that can be used to pay for tuition, housing, parking, all school fees, meal plans, and even books (if they're purchased at the university bookstore). My son gives me his account number and password and I pay for everything but his meals and spending money online. As far as apartment rent is concerned, you could either pay that yourself, force your son to live on campus, or tell him he has to live at home if he can't manage manage his money. At my son's college, most kids live on campus so all their housing is prepaid. I love this arrangement. If my son runs out of money, then he still has a dorm roof over his head, his tuition and books are already paid. If he runs out of money, then he can't go out with his friends or he has to eat peanut butter and ramen noodle soup - so it's not my problem if he mismanages his money. Some other thoughts - some kids do better if they have less free time on their hands rather than more. My son's lowest GPA was the semester he had a lot of free time. He had a lot of time for fun and got distracted. He is much more focused if he's busy. So perhaps your son might do better if he had a part time job? Also, some kids do much better if they have to pay for part of their school themselves, not just spending money. If you feel that part of your son's problem is immaturity, you might look into something like Americorps. We have some friends whose son seemed a little immature to me, and their son spent a year in Americorps before college. He matured a lot while in that program, and is now doing fine and attending college in California and doing well. Perhaps a year off in a structured program might help. I know opinions may differ on this, but to me, teenagers going off to college, incurring some bank fees, running of money, etc. - those are part of the learning experience for many teens. As long as it's not a chronic problem, I don't worry about it. Whatever mistakes my son made, he's mostly worked and paid me back for any extra expense (he has the blisters on his hands this summer to prove it). And he didn't keep making the same mistakes over and over - he learned from each mistake the first time, fixed it and moved on. I say prepay all his important expenses, and if he runs out of money and has to eat ketchup and crackers then so be it. If he doesn't learn from that, then maybe he needs to live at home. I hope you and your son find something that works well for you.

Thanks for the info, In my state cs stops when the child turns 18 or untill the child is out of high school,it is not in my husbands divorce papers that we pay for collage, she lives with her mother in another state close by that she can drive to collage, her mother has custody,she is useing our address because the collage she wants to attend is in our state and there for cheaper rates of $395 per quater, I called and asked about financial aid and was told she would not quilty for grants since my husband and my income is a little more then $30,000, but there was all kinds of finincal aid, I also think a child should have to work to help support there self my children did from the time they were old enough to work part time while in school but it sure helped me being a single parent, I dont feel my income should be included in any finical matter concering my sc since the mother has custody, and shes the one telling my sd that she does not have to work, my husband said he thinks she should work for awhile before attending collage, but it doesnt matter what we think nor were we inculed in anything we learned latter that she had used our address, I dont mind helping this child I just dont want to be responisable for $10000s , the only reason she desided to go to this collage is because she has a boyfreind who will be going there also, her mother and her have made all the arangements I feel we are being left with the finical part, Iam sure alot of you think I am being selfish and maybe I am but my husband was around while my children were growing up lived with me throu the week went home on the weekends when he had his children, never offered to help me nor my children with anything finical and didnt ask me to marry him till my children were out of school and home, we dated for 10 years I would have married him alot sooner,guess i am just venting and right now feeling used, I work full time to help us keep afloat and afford all the extras the mother says the kids just have to have, we still owe over $2000 for braces for my sd, the mother told my husband that she set up a appt for my ss to get contacts, guess who pays for those, even thoe my husband and i bouth need glasses, seems we pay for everything and the mother just sets back and collects the cs I know it cost to raise children but we also have them from friday evening till late sunday while in school every weekend! the mother also works I think she ought to help also with the extras insted she brought her a brand new suv last year, we do well to keep our cars on the road. thanks agine for the info