Barb, my advice to you is to go to a few Dr's, get a few opinions, have them make note of everything. Be sure to detail to them what you wrote here and type yourself up a health database in Word that lists Dr appts, main Dr's, Dr's consulted, medications, past medications (even if you've tried them & couldn't tolerate) any tests, as well as a detailed pain history - what brings it on, reaction to meds, side effects, and if you can, include pictures. You say arthritis in your hands- see if you can find some medical pics and edit them with a detailed legand like my & . Notice on the pics the marks are different colors, each color represents a different pain sensation (throbbing, stabbing, numbness). I have found that the Dr's I go to appreciate my pics & my detailed pain history chart. I just had my 2nd court hearing Nov 3rd. Yesterday I posted on another post in the health forum (link below). I hope that my fight will be over. One thing I had going for me was a few years back I had my neuro type a letter about how long I can sit or drive in a car. My Ex & I were arguing over where half-way was for a drop off point for my son. Even after mapping it, he still thought that since he couldn't take a direct route to get there that his time factored in. Anyway, at my last hearing, that letter along with a few others about my limitations may have gotten me disability since that vocational expert "found" jobs for me, like a bank teller,(ruled out due to medications) but since I couldn't walk fast, sit long, bend, those jobs were ruled out. He'd then suggest another list, which then got cut down from letter 2. Each letter's limitations were read, until we got to the last one. It was suggested I could be an "information clerk" (whatever that is) or an "order clerk". Information clerk was ruled out due to my divorce attorney asking where the jobs were located (he really rocked!), since they were out of my driving range, that went. The order clerk went after my attorney asked specifically what kind of store. He then ruled that out due to medications, & limitations. I'll say one thing, my disability attorney going on maternity leave might have been the best thing to happen to me. It just happened that my divorce attorney took on her work load for letters A through K. Since I know he can argue cases (haven't lost a case against the Ex) I wasn't worried going in there this time. I thanked him on the way out & told him how much better he was than her, he said she's a good attorney altho I haven't seen that. Punky, (((HUGS))) man, I could have written that post! I know all too well about emailing people, even people who also suffer from pain- they don't want to hear it either. I got an email from one "friend" who also suffers from pain. We used to vent to each other, I enjoyed chatting & emailing with her. One day, I made a post at another place about new problems (colon / stomach related) I was having. No one replied- I was shocked. They supposedly were my "friends" it was a rough time, I was at that place where you wonder why you stick around. We chatted & I mentioned no one replying, she then hit me with a wake up call, pretty much what you said. I don't remember if she even mentioned my new problems in that email, but I made a vow not to update everyone about my health. If someone emails asking, I'll say there is no change, or something to that effect but won;t get into it. I don't think anyone could prepare us for what this does to a marriage. This has to be the worst year for us, the 6 years we've been togather. He used to be patient & loving, now he's moody & loses his temper & throws things. Recently a "paver" came flying 2 ft to my right. It has been the worst year for my "dark cloud", I can't wait until 2005. Every time I turn around something else happens. I'm dealing with failed back surgery (fused Nov 2003), a daughter with problems in school due to ODD (funny, she's fine home), an Ex that blames me for her problems, a son who's father I fought & won for him to go to a really good art college, dropping out due to depression, my son then moving to CA to get away from it & having to move back for our next court battle against his "father" to enforce an order that he finish paying the loan he was ordered to pay. Unfortunatly he beat us to filing, & now my son is faced with the realization that his "father" cares more about $5,000 then him. Add to this my back problems got worse after surgery; all the 2nd opinions I went to said the fusion is fine, and my most recent colon / bowel / stomach problems. How much can a person take? I know there are people in much worse shape than me, but even knowing that doesn't help when hit with other things popping up that I don't need. I just want to be able to do things again, to go to work & have money to spend. I want to be able to go on an airplane & go on vacation. I want to take my daughter to the beach & swim in the ocean without worrying about the tide, or someone knocking into me. I want to take her to Great Adventure & ride a roller-coaster again. Heck, I'd be happy to walk the park! lol Who has $40 to rent a scooter? I'd love to bake & sew again & ride the Harley we bought right before I stopped working. Thankfully, there is gardening. The one place I can go & take my frustrations out on the dirt or prune the perennials down, or even rip them out when they get invasive. I save jobs like this for those bad mood days. I now pot up any invasive plants I pull out & will start selling them in the spring. I purchased a shelf / greenhouse from BJ's wholesale club & have it set up inside. I started trying to grow clematis from seed, it's actually coming up (let's hope it's not weeds). I also started a few rose cuttings, knock on wood, but so far they aren't dying- woohoo! I've been trying to root roses for years with no luck. I just harvested rose hips last weekend & will try to grow from seed. Hopefully, this will give me something to do in the winter months. This is the greenhouse I have if anyone is interested. I'm sure it can be found cheaper, I paid $25 for it. Best price I could find was $50, oh well, not allowed to mention the site here. On preview of post, it said this vendor not allowed. If anyone wants the link, email me. It is $49.99 with $2.95 shipping. I found a few on Ebay, but shipping kills you. You know, I'd really like to see a venting forum. Here is a link that might be useful: My responce on another post.

Well, I just calmly asked DS when he got home about the math project, he started crying and said that he was afraid that if he didn't do well it would bring down his grade. I told him we'd email the teacher and ask, but I thought that this was an opportunity for extra credit, and that it wouldn't hurt his grade if he didn't do well. He agreed that it sounded interesting, and even after she emailed back that it would be graded, wouldn't tell us how much weight towards final it would be, he still thought he'd try it. We have never put much emphasis on grades, I don't know where he gets his anxiety and perfectionism from but as I said it's been from a very young age, well before school. But it's like anything he's afraid to do - once he tries it, and does well, it'll give him confidence. I told him if he doesn't do well on this project, he doesn't have to do any more "challenges" this year. I think DS did well on the tests and in school b/c we do take time to explain things to him (again from a young age), read to him (and now he reads by himself) all the time, and take the kids to places like the science museum and the art museum, not just "children's museums". Really I don't want to push him to take tests and do more work, but this was an opportunity to do a research project, gather data, analyze it, and draw conclusions from it - much more challenging and "real-world" than rote arithmetic. The teacher said that it would take the place of up to 2 nights' HW per week for the next 5 weeks, so it was not "extra" work piled on. My kids love learning and are definitely opinionated, but DS tends to be a bit "lazy" (maybe b/c he hasn't found his passion - except Pokemon?) and I'm just trying to challenge him to go beyond the bare minimum he needs to do in school - not that he does just "passing" work but it could easily slip into that as the coursework gets harder, if he doesn't get excited about *something*. If he never learns to study and research, what's he going to do in HS and college when he finds that he can't pass a test just by having done his HW up to that point? "Good enough" is good enough in some things, but there should be something that he can get passionate about (like when he was little and devoured the whole "100 Things You Should Know About..." series on his own). Maybe by extensions and modifications to the easy (boring - he never talks about school) classes he's taking now, he can *find* something to get excited about. Maybe not this year, but maybe in Jr High or HS? Maybe in a summer program? I don't know. I'm just afraid he's already gone on academic autopilot. He asked us to stop reading him bedtime stories when he was about 6-7. I have to screen a lot of the books in the Teen section of the library for him, b/c the content is too mature. But when I find a good book or series (he loves fantasy series) I get them for him. As I said, he found The Hobbit on his own, he read Narnia years ago, he's read Twain and T.H. White (was really into Merlin about 2-3 years ago). Occasionally I'll hand him a nonfiction book - he read A. Lincoln and Why Evolution is True this summer. He's still very interested in paleontology, archaeology, and astronomy, whenever I find an article in the WSJ on a new discovery or theory I point it out to him and sometimes we'll do research online to find out more. But it's not like he'll just pick up a nonfiction book on his own anymore. So I'm hoping that by requiring more research of him for his science and social studies classes, he can be motivated to explore more and maybe rekindle those interests (or find new ones) without me having to "find" interesting stuff for him. The kid is a walking encyclopedia - I don't think he forgets a single fact about nature or science or history once he's read it. It's just that "commitment to exploration" that's missing. And it's been creeping up on him for the past few years - seems like the longer he spends in public schools, the less interest and effort he puts into anything. When he was a toddler, preschooler, kindergartner, even 1st-2nd grade I'd say, he was just interested in *everything* and always wanted to find out "more". Now he seems apathetic about learning most of the time, unless DH or I point out something about a new scientific discovery and then help him research it. Most of the time he just wants to read (or re-read) fantasy books and play Gameboy. I hate that thing! My mom got him a used one at a yard sale last summer, then he begged us to let him use his own $ to buy a DS (but we gave it to him for Xmas instead), and now he takes it *everywhere* (except school). He plays it in the car on a 15-minute drive to go out to dinner, to my parents' house, etc. and plays it all weekend and nights after dinner, except for when he's reading. Of course I don't mind him reading LOTR, but I think he can stop re-reading Redwall and Warriors and other series that he read years ago and find something *new* and maybe a bit more advanced? I mean, I have my favorites I used to like to read over and over again (anything by Michener!) but I'd go a year or more before rereading a book - there were so many *new* books to read!

Well, hope it turns out okay, but keep in mind what Sweeby has been trying to tell you, don't judge this little boy too quickly. If there is a medical reason for this child's behavior, punishment is not the goal, but a involved team (parent/school officals) working with the child would be. Seeing that the child gets the help and guidance that he needs to function in his learning environment would be a more suitable solution for both the other children and the boy. When I called the police it was not because there was a child with special requirements involved, it was because a bratty kid without any kind of medical disorders sprayed a can of mace in my kids face after school as kids were exiting building...kid got the can out of his mom's purse and thought it was the thing to do to the new kid in class he didn't like who was getting too much attention (in the kids opinion). I'm ignorant on the disorder Sweeby refered to so I just did a quick glance at the medical condition...if that is what is going on with this boy, he needs help, not punishment... he's not a 'bad' kid. The longer the school/parent denies a problem the harder it will be for the child and for the kids he goes to school with. My DD10 goes to with a boy who has some disorder (no clue what, it's none of my business) and this boy attends partial classes in the regular classroom and partial in the special ed classrooms. He does not have a learning disablity, kid is smart as can be and gets great grades, he just has trouble being in the regular classroom. He's been known to strike the other kids, be extremely disruptive during lessons and has on a time or two 'mooned' the class. Some days boy does realy well and spends the whole morning with class and other times daughter will say '_____ had a rough day today and took his spelling and science test with his other teacher' (he spends mornings in regular classroom unless there is a problem). He takes art and music with the other kids all the time (he's very talented, the regular class teacher always has the boy's artwork displayed with honors)and it depends day to day on whether boy has lunch with the other kids in lunch room or if he eats 'with his other teacher and her students' as my daughter calls it. There is only an odd rotten kid or two that tease this little boy, the rest accept him as their classmate 'who has a rough day now and then'. I truly hope things can be worked out for the little boy in your case, Mom2. I think it sounds like your son is doing the best he can with something he really does not understand the whys and hows of.

Hi brickton - your kitchen is gorgeous! I just ordered maple butcher block from Perfect Plank and I was wondering if you have any close-up or overhead pics of your butcher block countertops to share? I am obsessing (slightly ;) ) over whether I will like/dislike the surface finger jointing, and was wondering how obvious it is or whether it bothers you? I noticed a picture of the sample Mirvana from your earlier post, and it had the surface finger jointing, hence my inquiry. I can't tell from these pics whether your installed butcher block actually has the surface finger-jointing. In any event, any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks :)