Her son is adjusting well. He helps her out more around the house too. And she is lucky she lives next to her mom and dad so they help her out too (like cleaning her cat box since she was told not too while she is going through chemo). She said she never realized how much her son loved her until she was going into surgery and he was holding her hand the entire way. Terry has a great sense of humor and a good attitude so I'm sure that helps in putting her son's mind at ease. She strikes me as the type of mom who would cry alone so as not to upset him. She is also a little overwhelmed with the cost of everything but she is thankful when insurance covers the cost of her wig/hair pieces and the clinic gives her samples of extremely expensive medications. Keep those prayers comin'!

Yeah, Dilly, I would vote for "elope" too. Victoria, is having a big wedding right now important? You could do a ceremony on your fifth anniversary and repeat your vows. Lots of couples do that. It sounds like you are cutting nearly every corner that you can. There are other ways you can make use of the space that you have in your house, however. Could you rent out "storage space"? Most older houses lose a lot of heat through the roof, because insulation is old or missing completely. You can buy insulation that you can blow into the attic yourself. For the average house, though, it runs about $300 for the insulation. Lowe's will loan you an insulation blower for a deposit. The deposit here is pretty steep, but for that you could put it on your credit card. They will credit it back when you bring the blower back. They have insulation you can buy in rolls to lay in the attic, too. You could maybe get a roll each pay day. Be sure to get the kind for attics and not for walls. They have expandable foam in cans that you can use to seal the space behind mop-boards in every room. You'd be surprised how much cold air comes in there. You might see if you can buy text books used online at places such as Amazon.com. You can also sell them there. You had a credit card payment on your list -- is that from previous spending or is that how you pay for your monthly needs? Nothing wrong with using a credit card for monthly needs as long as you pay the bill in full when you get it each month. But if you're carrying a balance, try to get that paid down just as soon as you can. The interest rate on a credit card is staggering. Some credit card companies will pay cash back -- a small percentage of what you buy. Discover card is one. For prescriptions, talk to the doctor about whether you can have samples. You can also contact the maker of the drug and if you qualify you may be able to get the prescriptions free. Think carefully about whether you should sell your big house. You will lose money on it if you sell now. Moving is expensive. There will be deposits and activation fees. Do you plan to stay in the area you're in now after you're out of school? If so and if you plan to have children, owning a big house will put you ahead of the game then. How about your mortgage? Are you paying high interest? Can you refinance at a lower interest rate? If, on the other hand, you REALLY want to sell, is there anything you can do to make the house more attractive? I'm constantly amazed at how buyers will choose one house over another simply because they like the paint job better, or some other little thing that could be easily changed. How's the curb appeal? Maybe you could rent with an option to buy? You would still have to live someplace, though.... Have you compared auto insurance rates lately? You might be able to get by temporarily on a little less coverage. I applaud you on what you're doing already. It's rare to see young couples being as frugal as you are. --Ilene

Instead of calling CPS, why not buy your friend a really good parenting book, that addresses some of the issues they have. Yes, it sounds as though your friend resents the child and probably the stepson moving in with her. But perhaps you could go to lunch with her and talk to her about how hard it must be for this boy to lose his mother, and the changes this child must be facing. See, through your friendship with this woman, if you can help her to feel compassion for this child. Tell her that you understand how hard this must be for her, and yet can she find it within herself to have compassion for a little boy who must be confused, hurting, and anxious. Encourage her to feed him what he is used to eating, and to slowly introduce new foods, and to give him a "child's" chewable vitamin for nutrition. The boys dad should take a parenting class for single fathers so that he has someone to ask questions from. Perhaps the YMCA has something. But I would think it is your friendship with the family that could help this little boy. Perhaps you could go shopping with your friend, and help her pick up a few toys and books for the child. If money is an issue, go to garage sales, and children's resale shops. See, through your positive encouragement, if you can help her to see this as a sweet blessing, instead of something to resent and be cross about.

Parent, I'm sorry to shock you. I have many friends who went to Ivy League schools on full scholarship and one who is currently attending an ILS on full scholarship (and none of them were sports based, all academic) and they went to public schools. Not top-notch public schools either. A family friend's son got into a prestigious college after going to the high school in our town. He just was awarded 10,000.00 of grant money on top of his other aid. If you're smart, you're smart enough to get into ILS regardless of high school attended. When I went to college and got my first degree I was beat out for Valedictorian by a girl from the area I grew up in... she went to one of the worst ranked high schools in the area and I went to college-prep high school. She beat me, and all of the big-city kids. That's what the SAT's are for. To wipe out all of the "an A in one school is of lower value than the B in another school" nonsense. It's the great equalizer. (except if you are of a minority and don't understand that it's racially/class biased) @ Smashly: Exactly. PO1: "What is one to do with the other, how is it even his business?" Its his business because she A) was given all marital assets and B) racked up so much debt DH spent nearly 7 years paying it off and nearly ruined his credit (and, it looks like, ruined hers). ItÂs his business because by asking him to co-sign a loan; rather than discussing it with him and coming to a decision they both feel comfortable with; she commits to something she canÂt deliver and promises SD that she can go "if daddy says yes" so that Dad is a bad guy if he says no. If she were living within her means we might be more inclined to jump in the pool with her. But sheÂs already tried to drown him once. Once bitten, twice shy and all that. "Honestly I don't have much respect for NCPs who do little yet complain a lot." Me neither. I hope you arenÂt assuming my DH does little and complains a lot. He pays child support that was based on his income years ago (nearly double what it would be if it were based on current income), has not gone back to court to get revision even though she does not abide by the visitation decree. We ask for her for every school vacation, to see her on weekends, etc. Mom always has things planned, camps planned, etc. Even if Mom canÂt be with her, she doesnÂt want us with her either. As Mattie said; itÂs not ok to do "what you think is best for the child" and completely disregard what the other parent thinks or worse, not even ask their opinion before committing, and then expect the other parent to pay for your decision. Dad can help with educational decisions. He wasnÂt given a choice, and heÂs not "rolling his eyes". If one parent truly "knows the child better" and that makes it right for that parent to make all the decisions, why aren't stay at home parents given free reign over their children's lives? Why even consult with the parent who has to travel for work or works 80 hours a week? Love, thatÂs exactly it. Many private schools are about prestige rather than education. I do think that is a lot of money for elementary school but if you have it or have the gift of someone footing the bill, by all means, take every advantage!! I paid over $8,000.00 for my ddÂs pre-school and kindergarten. We could afford it. It was the best one I could find. Right now I would put DD into private school if there were one nearby that I thought was worth it. I made the decision, (along with DDÂs birth father!) to not be in the car for 4 hours a day. But her school is two blocks away, I can walk to pick her up, everyone is so friendly and kind and interested in her success. We supplement her education in other ways. IMO, itÂs not about public or private. ItÂs about what is the right fit for the child and for the family. And that can change year to year. When BM is going on vacations with SD during the times in which we should be getting her (but IÂve booked us to Aruba over Christmas!!!) and then putting her in expensive camps over the summer (can you pay for half?) when weÂd LOVE to have herÂ..but now she canÂt visit because sheÂs booked up, and doesnÂt want to because "daddy, itÂs horse camp!!"Â well. I don't care how smart the kid is, I'm not going to take out a second mortgage to pay for her 100,000.00 elementary education.