Oh, please plant Shasta daisies! They are native to North America, and while they can form large clumps, they are easy to keep under control. Some plants are charming in the garden, but disperse readily and are a danger to native ecosystems. Ox-eye is one of these-- it's very ubiquity demonstrates that, as it is not native to the Americas, and has displaced native plants in many open areas. There are efforts to eradicate it, especially in dairy pastures and grasslands where wildlife graze. (Dairy farmers don't like it because it crowds out other pasture plants and gives milk an off-flavor.) There are others that I see mentioned here from time to time that are pretty in the garden but should also be avoided. Some are actually illegal to plant. Sadly, some are even sold by nurseries and seed companies. Something I am going to suggest to everybody is to find out what is on your state's noxious/invasive plant list (and neighboring states as well). There are so many plants that we can choose from, from all over the world that are not invasive or noxious that we can easily have beautiful and responsible gardens. I encourage all of us as gardeners to keep aware of which plants are on those lists, even if they are only on the watch list, and avoid using them. Have to run off to work now, but I'll try to find the link to where you can find state lists of noxious and exotic invasive plants and post it. Dayle Ann

This has been an interesting thread.I never knew embalming fluid came in colors and my cousin's husband owns a funeral home.Of course that subject has never come up in any of our conversations!LOL I did Google and check it out and actually the embalmer chooses whether or not to add the coloring solution.Suppose to make the body look "more natural".OOOOOK! I'm dead,I hope I don't look natural!LOL Judy- I hate going to funerals too and don't unless it is a really close friend or family.I will not go down and view the body.I always sit in the back so I can slip out instead.I use to go to funerals all the time because I was taught it was to show respect for the deceased.HUH? They don't know I'm there and the family usually doesn't see me either so that doesn't make sense.LOL DH and I have our funerals planned and there will be a graveside service with closed casket.If someone wants to view my body they can do it at the funeral home.If someone never came to visit me when I was alive,I don't want them to see me when I'm dead!LOL Jannie-The more I think about it the more I am leaning toward cremation.Burial space is getting scarce and to me it makes more sense to cremate,plus it's much less expensive.I'd rather my kids share the cash from the difference in the price.Our burial plots are in a newer part of the cemetery and will be stacked.DH says he want's to be on top so you know where that leaves me.LOL Sorry,that just popped out.LOL OK,on that note I will get outta here!

I come from a family in a state where farming was a big part of the history. Customs were developed in the days when people would not be in a major metropolitan area. When someone on the farm died there were multiple hardships. First, the death of the person meant someone was not able to perform the chores on the farm. Another hardship could be that if it was the cook in the family, there was the obvious hardship. And to attend a funeral often meant traveling a long distance for many people and it wasn't just fly in and rent a car, or drive a few minutes or a few hours. It was horse and buggy and slow going. SO, therein lies history of how some of the traditions started. Bringing food to the family helped them out. Today, obviously, that is not such a big issue since you can buy ready made meals, get deliveries and more. The idea of a "lunch" after a funeral was to feed the travelers. Many would come a long distance and there weren't the drive-thru windows and restaurants along the way to grab something. Packing food for the trip was inconvenient so it was a nice gesture to feed them before they would leave. Again, this tradition has become obsolete as to necessity but a lot of people like to go with the old traditions. Seldom in a metro area have I experienced the food after the funeral. Often funerals are held in funeral homes and they don't have catering facilities. (Although I imagine the crematory could make a wicked pizza oven!) Smaller towns however it often is the norm to serve something, usually at the church or at some other place. Most of the small churches have kitchen facilities. There's still usually a "Ladies Aid" or "Ladies Axillary" who handle the food in various ways. Either they make it or they buy it, depending on the place. Otherwise, they're often catered. However catering isn't always like a huge formal wedding type of catering. For instance at my aunt's funeral it was "catered". The caterer provided an electric roaster full of scalloped potatoes and ham, canned corn, apple crisp, bread and butter, coffee, water and I believe something like a punch or lemonade. Not fancy but it met the tradition. When people close to me die, one of the last things I'm thinking about is eating. I really don't appreciate when people bring food for several reasons. Often it's not stuff I like or even should be eating (canned glop green bean salad for instance) and I'm just not hungry. I don't have to keep my energy levels going for farm chores. Things have changed. I agree with Archie Bunker on things I really dislike. Hospitals, weddings, funerals and opera. I don't like the morbidity of most traditional funerals. I prefer the "celebration of life" type of memorial. One of the best memorials I've attended was at a good friend's service. He was a television broadcaster for a long, long time and was inducted into the Broadcasting Hall of Fame. The Hall of Fame respected him so much they invited the widow to have the memorial at their building and they opened it special for that use. They also put together a great compilation of some of his broadcasting over the years and made room for chairs to have a sharing of memories and some of the other "celebrities", family and friends shared stories about him. It was hilarious and heart-warming. For food, the widow felt there needed to be refreshments so there were snacks, sandwiches, cake, etc. They had some of his items from his military service, old publicity items and the like. Sad to lose a good friend but he lived a long and very full life. He was catholic but became a reformed agnostic. So he was cremated. They also had a similar service in the small town where he lived the last 15 years or so and a priest or minister participated in that memorial but, being nearly 4 hours away, and with physical issues I couldn't attend that one too. Long-winded, I know, but the point I'm making is that traditions have changed a lot over the years, primarily due to peoples' choices, sometimes peoples' selfishness and a lot because the old ways just aren't needed anymore.

Thanks for posting the Holland story, Morz8. I first read it when DGS was diagnosed as a GERD baby. It was a help to me as I was figuring out how to help DS and DIL, who were overwhelmed by the situation at first. Especially as they live out-of-state. It is such a gentle lesson, but difficult - how to accept the unacceptable, and how to adjust gracefully to that which cannot be changed, and how to find the good in what appears so bleak. I haven't checked any boxes because I would have to check all of them. That's how touching these stories are! As Current Resident said, this is the internet at its best. Every person has a story. Even if you think you don't have a story, you do. I agree wholeheartedly that travel to a new place is a great way to challenge oneself, to find even a mild adventure, and to experience a change in perspective that can never be taken away. I remember what it was like returning to the States after my first year overseas in Israel and Jordan (some years before the 1967 war that changed my life), Israel then a second-world country, and Jordan almost third-world. I remember walking into my beloved Marshall Field's in the Chicago Loop and being bowled over, almost sick to my stomach at the vast amount of gorgeous stuff available there. I had totally adjusted to "poverty", small plain stores with not much in them, nothing remotely resembling a supermarket anywhere, few people owned their own cars, there was no tv, as neither country had television then, and on and on. But people lived with so much energy and happiness, with appreciation for the details of life and with plans for the future, just as we do. I did not understand how my values had changed until I got home. I was seeing the world with diffferent eyes now; this is what happens when you go to a different (and sometimes more difficult) place - your humanity expands.