Oh my. What is a passionate rose lover like you doing in that glacial hell hole? Reading about your endeavors has exhausted me and I haven't even lifted a shovel. I admire your grit and determination, but would love to see you rewarded with thousands of blooms on your rose bushes for all your hard work. I bet they could use engineers in zones 7 to 10!

Smart Money magazine published an article several years ago that argued against buying LTC in your 50s or earlier because the standard 5% inflation protection coverage would not keep up with the average 7% increase in nursing home costs. Basically, the earlier you buy the policy, the larger the gap that you will have between what your policy pays out and what the actual costs will be. Here are a couple of quotes from the article: "The 5% inflation adjustment is the industry standard, adopted by the National Association of Insurance Commissioners (NAIC) in the early 1990s. If the insurance industry were to adopt the 7% inflation figure that some predict, 'the cost would be prohibitive', says Tom Foley, an actuary with the North Dakota Insurance Department who chairs the NAIC's long-term care rate stabilization woking group." "The average age at which people buy long-term-care insurance is now about 65, and given the effects of inflation on your coverage, not to mention the uncertainty of health care costs and public policy 20 or 30 years from now, why buy it earlier than that? 'If there's a liklihood you might develop a health problem that makes long-term-care insurance expensive, you might want to buy it sooner', says Chuck Mondin of the United Seniors Health Cooperative, a nonprofit advocacy group. Otherwise, wait."

I love you guys!! Thank you so much for the sage advice and the virtual shoulders to lean on. Today I called my son and told him I was coming over to help him deep clean his house. I guess I left my cell phone at home, cuz DH had to text DS to get in touch with me. How liberating that was!! I worked really hard at DS's house, but he worked along side me and was wonderful company, so even tho I'm sore and tired, it was a good day. DS was VERY appreciative of me being there to help him and I liked doing it for him. I'm going to try to talk to DH tonight. He has a tendency to avoid conflict, and while I don't want conflict, I DO need him to hear me. DH has been self employed for years, just recently his business (more like a hobby income the last year or so) has just about come to a standstill. The things he makes are not a necessity item, so he's not bringing in the $$ like before. We can basically only count on my income...which is plenty for us to live comfortably on, but not where we can still live like we do and support another person. DH's income was for the fun stuff and extras for the most part. Rose...your DH sounds so much like mine. When my SS lived with us, it was horrible, too. He was much like yours and when he finally left our house for good, it was like a weight off my shoulders. But he almost tore us apart. My DH has always had a tendency to put his family ahead of me. For the most part, I dealt with it, but they've intruded into our life for the past couple years to the point where I can't take it any more. We've got an empty nest, and I want to enjoy it. We were both parents when we met, so we never had time alone together until the kids were grown. We were starting to have fun together when MIL became a pretty much every day fixture in our lives. She started backing off after I complained to DH, and it was ok, but now BIL is here. I'm just not sure of his situation. MIL said that his wife told her she does not want to reconcile. She wants to be friends with him, she loves him but is not in love...blahblah. He's holding on to the idea that they're going to reconcile. He goes over to her place at least once a week and stays there, but apparently stays on the sofa, and the other day he said he had to sleep on the floor because grandkids or something were there. Yesterday he told me he has an interview at a gym, I asked him about it and it's a fly-by-night outfit (he's a certified personal trainer) and he's been talking alot about how unhappy he is at his job (he works in retail and has a decent job w/bennies). This is his history, he's never worked at a job longer than 2 years, and he's just about past that time now, so he's ready to move on. DH said BIL is broke all the time, likely because he's giving his wife the $$, and that is again typical of him. So I'm not sure how the money thing will work. But frankly, it's not my problem!! The holiday thing...when my Dad was alive, he and my DH did not get along. My DH made every excuse in the book not to spend holidays at my parents, so to avoid the fight with him, and the tension if they were all together, I'd take the kids to my folks and he'd stay with his kid. It made me angry, but I chose the lesser of 2 evils. Later, we noticed a trend, DH would get pouty and start picking fights shortly before holidays. I finally figured it out, that he didn't want to spend time with my family and holidays always included them. His family was not nearby and when they were, they wouldn't come...they didn't want to celebrate. So once I figured out his M.O., I realized it wasn't ME, it was him...and I wouldn't let him get his way. He would pitch a fit and try to get out of events, but I'd make him participate. And what do you know, he always enjoyed himself! But I also learned that he;d bug out early, so I got used to it. He's very shy and not comfortable around people he's not really used to. I'm the opposite, I am gregarious and love to socialize. Well, this year, our DD who was married last year said she would like to host Thanksgiving at her house and have her in-laws and her family together. I am thrilled and am excited to do this with her, but as soon as DH found out (he read the email from DD) he said he was spending T'giving with his Mom. He is extremely uncomfortable about DD's in-laws, he only met them the first time at the rehearsal dinner, and barely spoke with them during the wedding weekend. So he's going to try everything he can to try to get out of going. I'm not going to say a word to him about it...I thought about trying to cajole him, but I'm going to let it be up to my kids to make him understand how disappointed they'll be if he doesn't spend time with them because he's shy and being a baby. But now, with BIL here, or at least in the proximity, he'll find every excuse, and likely his mother will want her boys over to her house. Anyway, it's just drama that I do not want to contend with, and honestly, I thought it was all over with...that DH had moved on, because every year I host a big Christmas party with lots of people and he enjoys it. It's almost like he's taken 3 giant steps back now that his brother is here every day. So the more I think about it, the more I think I need to get DH alone...sit him down and lay it out. I've already made up my mind that I WILL leave him if his mother ever has to come live with us!

I never wash my down beds - that clumps the feathers ! I do hang them out in the winter to fluff them up ! Like the German story for children : Frau Holle :) I guess it is a preference :) but Germans never wash their down comforters ( they usually cost about 300 dollars and upward , depending on the feather fill ) I just got rid of some my mom used to have about 45 years old !