Four wks to retirement - mixed feelings
sherwoodva
10 years ago
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sushipup1
10 years agojim_1 (Zone 5B)
10 years agoRelated Discussions
How do I not feel like this?
Comments (22)This thread may be over but it has been so illuminating and thought provoking for me, as I'm usre it is for everyone who reads it. I have no great advice to give--I dated my dh for four years before we were married. But we were not living in the same city and had to decide affirmatively to sacrifice something --my job or his job--to end up in the same place at the same time. In the end, we decided to do that and we have been happilly married for eleven years. Its kind of the opposite situation from yours--you've essentially been "married" for ten years without having wht seem to you to be the true benefits of marriage which would be living in the same place and having children. After all, if you didn't want those things you wouldn't be suffering when you compare your life to that of your SIL and BIL. You seem to really want something tangible--more tangible even than real estate and joint accounts. On the one hand it sounds like you've had all the benefits of marriage for years--you've travelled and had a signficant other and owned property and vacationed together. But have you ever really lived together? Have you started to do those things which are truly "married"--not planning for retirement but planning to live together and have kids? Now that I'm engaged in a renovation with my husband I can testify that renovations don't make a life happen-life is already happening and the renovation only disturbs that. I live close to my parents, and I anticipate needing to care for them in the hopefully distant future but it seems odd to me that you have felt you *had* to live at home with your mother in order to care for her. And once you made that decision it seems wrong that that decision has prevented you from going ahead and marryign your SO. People live with their in laws--its not a bar to getting married. And grown women move out of their mothers houses to get married if it is. Essentialy you are saying that you don't feel you can be a married woman and live with your mother full time in her house--you could do it, but you don't want to. If so, you are going to need to fish or cut bait. Either move your SO in and start life as a married couple (whatever that means to you) or move out and start life as a married couple. There is never going to be a perfect situation in or out of your mother's house, its just going to be a compromise. Marriage/privacy/adulthood or marriage/lack of privacy/living space. You pay your money and you take your choice. hugs abfab...See MoreWhy I'm enjoying retirement at this moment!
Comments (35)I've found that "Volunteering" is a bit like having a "Hobby". Best to find these before you retire, after which you can devote more time to them -- if you wish. I think it's difficult to find *meaningful* work as a volunteer. One thing DH has enjoyed is called Grand Times. About sixty Seniors volunteer in township high schools. Teachers request help with all kinds of things, and the leader of Grand Times matches volunteers to meet the needs. DH is usually 'at school' for a few hours twice a week on some assignment. He's worked with the same kids in a remedial English class for two years. It's sometimes one-on-one; sometimes he's working with a 'team' of kids on an assignment. He feels useful, and the kids seem hungry for help. He also helps judge presentations for the marketing classes and helps with senior essays -- nice mix of lower and higher achieving students. More schools could avail themselves of the Senior talent lying fallow in their communities. "Volunteering" needn't be primarily serving the entertainment or time-structuring needs of retirees with 'make work' assignments to keep them busy. What have some of you found to do in retirement that uses your experience and talents?...See MoreRetired Racing Greyhounds
Comments (69)Willow is so beautiful!! saltidawg, just a note that after years of living in big kennels with lots of handlers and greys around, greyhounds can get lonely by themselves in a room. If she's still minding the crate you could try putting a radio in with her, putting the TV on or putting her in with you at night :) I used to volunteer for a grey rescue up here in Nova Scotia. Here's a picture of my parents' two greyhounds Frank and Molly. Molly has since passed away. Grey hounds are like pringles, it's hard to stop at just one! Especially since they enjoy each others' company so much :) Frank enjoying his in ground pool Frank getting not only a bed but a comforter on top (he likes to nest) This post was edited by robotropolis on Thu, Nov 20, 14 at 11:51...See MoreRetirement Investments Question
Comments (10)Greetings cactus catie, The problem that many folks who invest have is that when the value goes down a little, they don't get too worried ... ... but when it's gone down quite a lot - they get scared ... and sell. Some investors set rules for themselves - when a fairly non-volatile stock goes down 10% - they sell. Once it's gone down quite a lot, if it's a quality stock, sometimes/frequently it may be a time to buy more, rather than selling. As one mutual fund manager used to tell us mutual fund sales guys/gals, some years ago - he liked to get a Dollar for 60 cents ... that is, a stock where the value he assessed, after some investigation, to be worth a dollar, that he could buy after a market drop for about 60 cents. A stock that I bought 45 years ago for $4.15 - 20 (paying about 10 - 12 cents annual dividend) had gone up, down and sideways for many years, and the dividend had usually been between 3 - 4%. In about June of '07, I could have sold it, paying annual dividend of $3.08, for $107.00 or so ... and in the summer of '07 they increased the dividend to $3.48. That bank was substantially involved in the meltsdown of the U.S. financial fiasco, and the share price dropped to about $40.00. I shoulod have been watching it closer and have sold it after a slight drop, but didn't. Didn't buy more at about $40.00, either ... and it has since recovered to about $75.00 or so ($76.84 at today's close). I've been considering buying another Canadian bank ... but haven't, yet. I'm not too enthused about mutual funds - as many of them, despite their claims of their managers' superior skill at investing, don't produce any better results than the segment of the investment systemm in which they operate. Part of the reason is that they buy and sell quite a lot, with fees payable each time ... and they charge a management fee of usually 1.5% per year, sometimes more, as long as they manage their clients' money - and in Canada, most of them charge about 2.5% (or more) a year. While I paid a commission to buy that stock, 45 years ago, I haven't paid anyone a cent to manage it, since. Big difference! Having lived in 22 places in my 80+ years, and for a number of those years having lived in accomodation provided by my employer, I've never owned a home. While I may be over 80, I feel comfortable having something like 80%, sometimes more, of my assets in common stocks of (mostly) quality companies. Part of the reason being that I feel that I should finance my retirement to age 100 ... in that they tell me that most folks would rather run out of days before they run out of money ... rather than theother way around. When I was 70, I thought that to be six blocks of five years each. And, as most of us need a larger fund for probable health care and possible retirement or nursing home accomodation, I'd probably have a greater need for money later in that period ... and inflation means thatthe pricedes of things go up, which owuld mean a larger need for money, later. So _ I'd better stretch the eating of that first five-year block to 10 years ... which would mean 5/6 (83% or so) of my assets intact after 10 years. As many advisors suggest that many well-chosen, quality stocks tend to develop growth, despite interim fluctuations, over 10-year or longer periods, I like the prospect of possible growth in the number of my invested dollars ... and when I pay tax at regular rate on only half of that growth ... andnot until I sell - I like that scenario. Much of the increase comes in theform of dividends, to keep me afloat in the meantime ... and in a number of situations, I pay a low tax rate on them, but interest income is taxed at top marginal rate. That should be enough for now - and the library closes in (now, under ) five minutes. Good wishes for increasngly skilled investing. ole joyfuelled (with a bit of help from a dollar or two,, here and there)...See Moresherwoodva
10 years agojim_1 (Zone 5B)
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10 years agoMags438
9 years agojoyfulguy
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