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Did *you* or are you moving to be close to your kids?

Posted by patty_cakes (My Page) on
Tue, Oct 1, 13 at 17:32

I know there must be many retirerees who debate the pros/cons of this, but the pros win out. Watching the grands growing up is an awesome experience and I wouldn't change it for a million bucks! However, there *is* a downside so you need to be able to say no and really mean it. Your own kids take for granted you're being near, and will have a tendency to ask 'what are you doing Sat. night/this weekend '? Loving your grands has nothing to do with you 'wanting' to care for them, so this needs to be made clear. I have to admit I did a few of those Sat. nights as well as a few weekends, so needed to 'have the talk' with my daughter. She understood 'not' watching them had nothing to do with my not 'being busy' that particular night/weekend, it's that I had already paid my dues in raising my own kids and it's MY time, to do what I want when I want, no explanation needed. Once you get that straightened out, it's all good!

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Did *you* or are you moving to be close to your kids?

No we would not have move for any reason we liked out home and the activities we did with friends.

This post was edited by EmmaR on Tue, Oct 1, 13 at 23:28

RE: Did *you* or are you moving to be close to your kids?

We are going to retire sooner than we planned, hopefully, and plan to move away since we live in an expensive area. Two of 3 kids are here, one just married, no grands yet. Honestly, I don't think we will see much of the grands even if we stay....except when a babysitter is needed. They gravitate toward DIL's family already. Sad, but I have accepted it and it makes it not so hard to move away.

RE: Did *you* or are you moving to be close to your kids?

Joanie, I have 3 sisters and Mom and Dad's home has always been the home where we go. From that experience I knew having sons it may be the same for them. It happened and I was prepared for it. We always had the ones near over for Christmas Eve and it worked out fine. You are right about the baby sitting. With us it was also about the loans, every 6 months or so, one out of the 5 kids would hit us up for money because they went shopping on payday then could not pay their bills. We should have move far away but my husband had a hobby and friends that were very important to him so I did not mention it to him.

RE: Did *you* or are you moving to be close to your kids?

Joanie, I know that's a common problem. I have 3 daughters and girls just seem to gravitate toward their Mom's side of the family. You could start having the kids for overnights if you want to see more of them. This time will be yours and the kids, no parents wanted! I've tried staying close to all my grands, though not always easy with daughter-in-laws, especially nasty ones.

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