Ex wife entitled to ex husband's pension?
patty_cakes
10 years ago
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emma
8 years agoartemis_ma
8 years agoRelated Discussions
Adult SD & ex-wife issue
Comments (7)If you block someone on facebook, it disables them from seeing anything you post & disables you from seeing anything they post. In the privacy settings, you can control who sees your posts, pics & everything else but someone that is not blocked may be able to inadvertently see your post anyway. At least that has happened with me. The safest way to make sure she won't see anything you post is to click on her page, even if it's a private page, it allows the option to block this person. (where it says report/block this person) and after that, let SD deal with her own mother. Don't worry about anything you do upsetting her... your existence will upset her so trying to talk & rationalize with her will only throw fuel on the fire. What she is doing, is destroying her own relationship with her daughter. Eventually, the daughter will have had enough & limit contact or stand up to her & force the mom to step back. It has nothing to do with you....See MoreHusbands Ex Constantly Calling Just To Talk to Husband
Comments (20)Hello I'm sorry if I have offended some people with my comments. I don't think I explained my situation very well and, as we are all prone to doing when we are feeling down, I focused too much on the negative in my posts. I hope that in not having put my best foot forward I haven't messed up my chances of being able to use the forum to offer and receive support in the future. I certainly didn't want to upset anyone. Hoping to clear up a few issues of doubt (my fault for not making it clearer): 1. I have no problem at all with my partner calling his kids once a day. Twice a day. Whenever he needs to. I should have made it clear that my gripe was with my partner usually calling his ex-wife when his kids aren't even there. This is his right, as their father, to ask about their well-being, but I happen to know that the conversations are rarely limited to his kids. I simply ask him not to hide these calls from me because it creates suspicion where there doesn't need to be any. when he calls her in fron tof me i leave the room. i respect his privacy. But there is no place for hiding stuff in a partnership. he does not HAVE to hide calls to his kids from me in any way shape or form. I'm sorry if my post gave that impression. 2. With regard to the financial situation. My ex gives me as much as he can, which is enough for us to get by on if I work. I have to work to raise my kids. I have always worked. I'm not looking for a free lunch from anyone. My problem with my partner is that his ex has refused to look for work for two years now. We have been struggling because the money he has left after giving 70% of his salary (his choice, not court imposed) to his ex does not cover what we spend and we do NOT live a life of luxury. I appreciate that he has to pay for his kids and compensate his ex for her loss of income due to their divorce. But it's tough when you are both working so hard to make ends meet (actually not BOTH...three of us..because my ex also works hard) and your partner's ex can run up three hundred dollar phone bills in a month calling her latest guy...and you know you will end up footing the bill. This has happened. Things LIKE this happen too much. 3. His kids visiting. I will admit that I did not have a very clear concept of what this would be like for my kids. There are a lot more issues here than I went into in my posts. One of my children has Aspergers and we try to keep to a fairly a tight routine for him. This is not respected when his kids come. My kids are supposed to be in bed by nine but often, he is still here with his kids at this time and I end up having to virtually ask him to leave, which is really ugly. But when you are trying to hold lifer together as a working mom with four kids, things like getting them to bed on time are really important. Having two kids running around at this time makes things stressful when they don't need to be. Rules are not respected sometimes because tends to be soft on his kids. I understand this, when he has limited time with them adn doesn't want to be the bad guy. but it means that my kids get very confused about what is right and wrong. I take a back step and allow him to discipline his own kids but it's hard for mine to understand that there is one rule for them and one rule for my partner's kids. he feels his kids should have complete run of the house when they come. i say there are boundaries that should be respected, which are ONLY the same boundaries that I impose on my own kids, such as them not being allowed to take food without asking, such as the younger kids not being allowed into their older sister's bedroom without permission. To him, this is me not making them feel at home. 4. Vacations. I appreciate that my attitude seems selfish. OK, I admit that it is. I have tried to suggest us going on separate vacations. Last year we did that. We went away with his kids for six days to the beach while mine were with their dad at the beach. Then, when I wanted usto go away with my kids to the beach later in the Summer, he insisted we take his kids too because by taking mine away with us to stay with my friends who had invited us to their rented beach house for a week, my kids were then getting more days at the beach than kis because they had already had six days at the beach with their Dad. Things like that leave you with a bad taste in your mouth because everything gets painted like a competition. my kids are always painted as the lucky ones. I can't take them on a day trip without him insisting we do the same with his kids the following week. He is NOT expected to pay for these trips, by the way. I have familyin England. My whole family. I take my kids there once a year. I can't afford to take them all. I usually have to take one at a time for financial reasons but it is important for them to see their grandparents. What we keep on getting is that it's HIS kids' turn next. I find this really hard. I pay for these trips. Actually, the last few years my family have helped me out and paid for these trips. I would find it so hard to justify to my kids that I would take his kids to stay with THEIR grandparents, leaving them behind. OK, so his kids miss out on a plane trip. But they have all four grandparents down the street. We all have blessings and crosses to bear. They're not always the same. And yes, I am sadly doing my children a disservice a lot of the time because I am trying so hard to make this work and to make him happy and make his kids happy. I think maybe that is why I feel so resentful at times. And I'm glad that some of you have pointed that out to me. xx...See MoreEx husband's wife
Comments (2)Tune her out. Really. Take her power trip she has in your head and turn it off. Ms Trash Talk can't actually live in your head unless you allow her to. No, she should not be yakking trash to the adult children...but honestly, think about it. Your kids know you. They have lived with and observed you for years. Through good and bad. Nothing Ms Trash Talk can say will make them stop loving you and nothing that will change the fact you are their mother. Tune Trashy out. Refuse to discuss Trashy with your children. She is what she is and short of duct taping her mouth you can't control what falls out of her trap. You didn't mention how long Ms Trash Talk has been in the children's lives, but I'll take it quite a while. No woman would expect to take a 'place of honor' at a stepchild's wedding unless they've been a part of the kids life. And if Dad paid for the wedding or part of it, Dad would of course expect his wife to be included. I never really understood the wedding picture tiffs. JMO, but any adult child getting married should have enough sense in their heads and be mature enough to figure a whole lot of photos will be taken. Bride with Mom and Dad, bride with Dad and SM, Mom and SF, entire wedding party photos with couple and all parents (steps included) blah blah blah. Petty jealousy over photos does not belong at a child's wedding. Plenty of pics should be taken to make everybody happy. I'm going to assume you didn't make SM sit by herself in the back of the church. I'll assume too that you did not seat her out in the guest section at the reception. There are ways of handling difficult situations. Should Trashy confronted you at a wedding, of course not...but you didn't tell 'us' what did set her off. If you indeed did nothing and treated her civil and with some respect, then again, it's her problem, tune her out. Walk away. One can't agrue if there is nobody standing there to agrue with. Why do you and ex with to consult with all the holiday arrangements? You're talking about children old enough to be married, so I'll assume these darlings are old enough to pick up phones and talk to each parent individually...and keep calling and talking until agreeable arrangements are settled. Things sometimes have to change when our kids start marrying. We sometimes have to accommodate multi families. Example, not just Mom or Dad's house but now also the new inlaw's house and family....See MoreEx husband, his evil wife and child support
Comments (7)I have been a single mother since my son was 3 years old and he is now 18. I know that many states now have the same laws regarding child support, I am surprised yours took the helpless attitude that they did. You have the option of having your ex's wages garnished. Plus, you can file to have the child support order adjusted for the ex's increase in wages. The support order goes according to a schedule based on how much money the ex earns. The judge will re-look at the wages and will adjust accordingly. In the state of California, the child support division was very good about contacting me to keep the information current regarding wages, address, etc. But, once you have an order in place to collect child support via garnished wages, you are in the system and they will follow up for you. You sometimes have to push them. Most states consider child support a top priority and will also garnish income tax returns and put a lien on property. So, they will work with you and for you. Most child support agencies are swamped, so you do have to keep at them. This could be why they took the attitude that they did. Call them a lot. Don't be afraid to bug them, that is what the agency is for - it's put in place to secure financial support for your loved ones. A lot of tears and frustration you go through, I know. You don't want your children to go through the rejection by their father. Keep your chin up, you will see a brighter future. Your sons will love you even more through the years knowing you stuck by them (I know, how can anyone not?) and the rewards will be awesome. Keep up the positive support for them. Write and let us know how you are doing....See Morestir_fryi SE Mich
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