Ex wife entitled to ex husband's pension?
patty_cakes
10 years ago
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emma
8 years agoartemis_ma
8 years agoRelated Discussions
Soon to be step...EX wife issue's..
Comments (20)I was wondering if other people have situations simular to mine.Th ex here has been ex'ed for 13 years now.She was wife number 2.I am wife number 4.Number 3 left because of the crap the second wife was doing.Calling and harrassed her and the husband.myhusband has one boy who is now almost 16.His mother is bipolar as well.I don't know what she is tryign to cause or what she wants with the cronic phone calls,it's always about this son.He lives with her,we are supose to get him every other week end,we don't,she changs the schedule beacuse she needs leaves picked up,they needed picking up the weekend before and they had time to gt it done.Yes the calls came even at 12 midnight just a year ago.She wantd to at one point give up her son but she wantd to keep custody.She would take careof all her sons schooling from 40 miles away via e-mails to the teachers,and drive here if she needed to.My husband so graciously said yes to his coming and signed papers to do so.I found the papers.Signed sealed and delivered in his papers he keeps.i was suspicious anyway and to prove my feeling were so i went to look it up,there it was.She would keep her child support money and he will come here and live with us.Yeah! I bet! this was her way of moving in here.She actually met up with my husband and went to dinner over this paper signing. I am still very hurt that he would even think to do something this stupied.In hope his son will be with him?I wonder if he really wants to be with her at any cost.i don't get it.He knows her undermining.She even calls on our anniversary to discus the sons christmas list.Muy comment was you buy what you want and we buy what we want,he'll be happy.Come to find out his daddy bought everything and she gave him 150.00.I haven't an issue with daddy being his santa claus but I do have one with her telling him what to do.I buy ny step son things i know he will really like.Iremember the things he has mentioned over the year and i tell his daddy abou tthem.he says he didn't say it was what he wanted.I asked him if he ever has listened to him at all through the year.I do.I normally do not need a list,especially when I know someone. You'd think after 5 years of me being with this guy the ex would go away.She has a boyfriend and her son said she didn't feel anything for him.She has dated him 3 years now.Well about 3 1/2 years ago after me and my husband married she called my husband and said she was getting married to this same fellow she'd then had dated him 3 times.She was out house hunting as well with her son.my guess is she told him she has bipolar with other and he doesn't want to commet.She did lie to my husband about that as well.He had no idea she had that at all.It was at the wedding his brother was hearing this from friends there.Oh my! I think if i found my sposue to lie like that I would have ennulled the marriage.He didn't find out until she had a breakdown after the boy was born when she went out of town and not on meds.She was going to divorce him because at first she wasn't getting pregnant 9 months inot the marriage.Then low and behold she was pregnant. I am tired of the calls.It has been put to minimal.He keeps his phone on vibrate.He has a new job wher ehe has a phone at his desk and she i am sure calls for stupied things still.After the decision I made on the child staying with his mother and not coming here it really has stopped alot of her calls.I tols my husband it has to be him coming here which means mother dear will be over here,and it is her or me.he chose me and he stayed at his mothers house.he has a councler who really is trying to evaluate the situation.It is soon to believe that it is mother who is the one with issues.my step son knows it isn't him.I made sure he understood it was not him.He has mad ehis friends in his area he lives in and he is now happy with his decision and my decision that he stayed there.theropist are keeping her out of his life as much as they can.She had unfinished bussiness with my husband I am sure.i had to let him go there with theropist trying to deal with the son and the mother and I needed the docotr to push their life to a closier so she can go away. i think her bipolarness is still such an issue that she will not let those sleeping dogs lay still. So agin is it a bipolar issue or the ex issue.Two mor eyears and it has to stop.the calls have to stop.I will leave him if he keeps it up. Bad enough the first ex calls and posses as his brother.he allows that too.He ha smental issues himself to even let that go on.I have thought many times i am bringing up my ex all the time and in his face I will be with it.he can get a taste of it.Now he has real reason to be jealous of my ex.he is handsome and smart as a whip.we were also togther 30 years,27 of them married.He hasn't been maried over 3 years in all of his other 3. thanks,i needed to say something before I explode....See MoreEx husband's wife
Comments (2)Tune her out. Really. Take her power trip she has in your head and turn it off. Ms Trash Talk can't actually live in your head unless you allow her to. No, she should not be yakking trash to the adult children...but honestly, think about it. Your kids know you. They have lived with and observed you for years. Through good and bad. Nothing Ms Trash Talk can say will make them stop loving you and nothing that will change the fact you are their mother. Tune Trashy out. Refuse to discuss Trashy with your children. She is what she is and short of duct taping her mouth you can't control what falls out of her trap. You didn't mention how long Ms Trash Talk has been in the children's lives, but I'll take it quite a while. No woman would expect to take a 'place of honor' at a stepchild's wedding unless they've been a part of the kids life. And if Dad paid for the wedding or part of it, Dad would of course expect his wife to be included. I never really understood the wedding picture tiffs. JMO, but any adult child getting married should have enough sense in their heads and be mature enough to figure a whole lot of photos will be taken. Bride with Mom and Dad, bride with Dad and SM, Mom and SF, entire wedding party photos with couple and all parents (steps included) blah blah blah. Petty jealousy over photos does not belong at a child's wedding. Plenty of pics should be taken to make everybody happy. I'm going to assume you didn't make SM sit by herself in the back of the church. I'll assume too that you did not seat her out in the guest section at the reception. There are ways of handling difficult situations. Should Trashy confronted you at a wedding, of course not...but you didn't tell 'us' what did set her off. If you indeed did nothing and treated her civil and with some respect, then again, it's her problem, tune her out. Walk away. One can't agrue if there is nobody standing there to agrue with. Why do you and ex with to consult with all the holiday arrangements? You're talking about children old enough to be married, so I'll assume these darlings are old enough to pick up phones and talk to each parent individually...and keep calling and talking until agreeable arrangements are settled. Things sometimes have to change when our kids start marrying. We sometimes have to accommodate multi families. Example, not just Mom or Dad's house but now also the new inlaw's house and family....See MoreEx-wife is coming back?
Comments (7)Thank you so much for responding to my comment, ladies. Wallypog, I think that my gut feeling was not wrong. I have talked about how I felt over the incidents to my husband. He says that he cannot totally relate to me and does not believe his ex is attempting to do anything personal to him. He does not trust her but hate her, either. He says that how the ex is behaving is kind of strange, though. I merely addressed that I did not appreicate to have her back between my husband and me. Firedreams, I hope this will fade away. To add one more note, the ex has sent some very personal letters "as confidential" to my husband a few times during last several years. She even used fancy, flower designed stationeries. The contents never made sense to us, like, "Thank you for HELPING ME raising our children", "Happy Father's Day!", and so forth. She never thanked me for doing anything even about organizing children's weddings on our beach... I know, this is a no win situation....See MoreManipulative ex-wife....
Comments (11)Dotz it was a figure of speech. Obviously they are not married and don't have to talk and chat it up daily BUT the point is... The other parent isn't going to go away when said kid hits 18. No. Communication will be different but people are fooling themselves if they think it ends at 18. Speaking as an adult child of divorce, it seems to have gotten worse after 18. My parents annoyance and absolute refusal to be kind to each other ruined my high school graduation as well as my wedding reception. Do you think kids of divorce should have to have two weddings in order to keep their immature parents away from each other? I'm not saying that this sm is at any fault whatsoever. Her Dh and the BM are. They are putting sm and child in the middle. But to say it gets better after 18 is foolish and misleading. That's all Po1 and I were saying. The communication will be different and probably non existent but parents of a girl tend to have these issues especially when she gets married because it's the bride's family that is more involved. Daddy walking daughter down the aisle but mom sitting in the front row and then there is Sm that has been a constant for the child, where does she sit? And how do they deal with splitting cost? Mom is going to pay for XYZ and dad will pay ABC but then again, adult child is in the middle dealing with parents who refuse to communicate about the financing of her big day because they were under the impression that all communication ended at 18. Here is another scenario that I lived through: Daughter goes in to labor. Mom and dad are both very much a part of her life, separately. Mom is going to be in the delivery room because daughter can't imagine going through it without her. Daughter also wants her dad to be in the waiting room, along with sm waiting to hear that their first grandchild has arrived. What is daughter to do? Her parents can't stand each other. She can't imagine leaving one or the other out but she can't stand the thought of her parents having a run in with each other. The answer is unclear. There is no answer. She can tell both of her parents that they better not act up or they are both out but why should she tell two people twice her age how to be acting? Daughter is in the middle: again. New baby has his first birthday party. Daughter so desperately wants a huge party with all family and friends. It's such a big occasion. She can't decide which parent to exclude because they are both equally important to her. So does she have two first birthday parties? Does she only invite 1/2 of her friends to one party so the other party will be just as big? This has been my sisters life for the last 20 years. I choose not to play in to the immaturity of my parents. My dad isn't a part of my life like my sisters but she so desperately wants both of her parents there for everything. What misery she deals with....See Morestir_fryi SE Mich
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