| Hi dirtgirldiana, Don't sweat it - just relax, do what you feel like, unwind. Get used to your new life. And, as the former teacher/band director now playing for himself - with some professional stuff, maybe, in future, said ... ... enjoy the journey. Go to the bathroom, look in the mirror (or, any nearby mirror'll do). Do you like the person that you see there? Give yourself a good, hard look. Smile. Give yourself a wink. Tell yourself, light-heartedly, that you're a really worthwhile person. Believe it. Maybe spend some time with the women's movement, learning to reaffirm self-worth. Also ... ... how about sitting down with hubby, sometime when he's in a good mood, rather light-heartedly saying that you're woindering whether to get supper tonight ... ... and if he asks what's going on, to suggest that you wonder whether he notices ... ... as it's been something like 2.5 years since he had anything positive to say about it. Not heavy-handedly, please. Often we can convey a message light-heartedly that comes over much differently if we get stern about it. And, usually, less effectively. Have you expressed appreciation to him for things that he's done which pleased you? Have you been making some contacts among others who are available? Making some friends? Coffee-friends .. fun-friends ... doing stuff friends. My ex-, who'd been head of food service in a substantial (psych) hosp. for about 20 years, retired about 10 years early, when there was discussion of closing her hosp. or a similar one, a few miles away ... and had 10 years to have a ball, pursuing hobbies, spending time with friends, some volunteer work, travelling FL - TX from Dec. - Mar. (and over to AZ, when our daughter lived there). Ironically, she, who'd fed millions, got colon cancer ... ... died at 66, and the kids said that, in the ordinary course of things, that she'd have retired the year before. And I added that she'd have been sick for most of that. Enjoy your new-found freedom! Use some of it to help build a happier community/nation/world, please. Good wishes as you set out on this great, new journey. Remember - when you're retired ... ... every day is holiday! ole joyful |