Nandina, I think your point is a good one, and "Buyer, know yourself and your limitations" is brilliant. It is often said that people buy houses intuitively (implying too intuitively) but I think intuition is often underrated. The process, while unconscious, nevertheless consists of the brain identifying priorities and calculating trade-offs. And the brain is pretty good - it often puts you in a house that is right enough for you that you are willing to cope with whatever it throws at you - my new neighbours were out putting a tarp on their roof yesterday in anticipation of more rain coming later this week, but they looked happy. They are happy. They are in the right house for them. But where conscious trade-off calculations are being done, I think the phrase to watch out for in your head is "we can fix that" or "we can deal with that." The thing you have to be sure you can deal with is what if you can't change it. Either, as Nandina says, you don't have what it takes, or, what if the previous owners did all that could be done with that slope/view/privacy/traffic issue, and it stays as it is? Can you live with it? All that being said, I don't have a problem with people coming to the forum for help solving the problems that were evident when they bought. What I have trouble dealing with are people who come to the forum looking for people to solve them FOR them. KarinL

Give it a little time for things to work themselves out; might be a little hard to believe now, but they generally do. One thing that might be beneficial to you is to get to know the home routine - they usually publish a little calendar of daily events and activities planned for residents. Get familiar with meal times, bath/shower/hairdresser days, art and craft sessions, music programs... sometimes planning visits around times when there is interaction with other residents takes the burden off you in carrying the ball. Also, get to know the staff, make sure they see you. It helps them to know you're your mother's best advocate. Let them know little things about her, what she liked and didn't like, hobbies and pasttimes, etc. If they have a little personal information, they have something to distract her with when she's feeling angry and alone. If your mother likes music, make sure she has a radio. A few well chosen family pictures in her room, a favorite quilt or throw. I have to admit, as gut wrenching a decision as it was to have our mother placed in long term care (I was her live in caregiver from mid 2001 until late 2006 and watched her slide from moderate to severe Alzheimer's), we were spared any real drama. But over the 11 months she was in LTC, I witnessed plenty of drama with other residents and their families. And I participated in (still do keep up with those) a couple of different care givers support groups - really good for information gathering/sharing, moral support, etc. It was all a real learning experience - and now looking back on the whole thing - one I wouldn't trade. It was a priviledge and there's a kind of sweetness about it.

Hi everyone. My cousin and I are still working on getting my aunt moved closer to us and on reporting this niece to the authorities. We have spent hours on the phone and in meetings. Believe it or not everyone in the state keeps passing the buck on this case. We had the state nursing home ombudsman get involved (finally someone returned our calls!!). He went the nursing home and talked to my aunt, the nursing home director and the business office staff. He said that the niece DID commit fraud on my aunt, the nursing home and the state. He said my cousin and I did a great job digging up all this info, but that he was going to do nothing because our actions have stopped her from continuing the behavior. What!!!??!! We managed to find two untouched life insurance policies worth about $4000 total and we set up an account with a funeral home. The other 5 policies are gone and were never reported to the State on the Title 19 application. We are meeting this week with the nursing home Director to see if they are interested in pursuing this woman. If not, I'm calling the Attorney General's office as recommended by the funeral director. I am so frustrated with all of this! Will keep you updated as things happen.

There's a major advantage to Canadian-based lotteries: no taxes ... well, at source, anyway: what your jurisdiction might say is between you and them. Well ... maybe less "is" than "would be" ... between you and them (your income tax people). I never buy lottery tickets: don't figure throwing money down ratholes to be a very productive enterprise. If you win the house, don't give it to your kid, unless the family has a major and fairly secure income, for encouraging people to live a few higher steps of affluence than their income merits pretty well condemns them to a life of poverty, possibly almost desperation, as they feel it necessary to keep up with their affluent Jones-neighbours. Income $1,000., expenses $900.00 = happiness (potentially so, at least). Income $1,000., expenses $1,020. = misery (much more probably). Good wishes for wise money management ... as well as life-management, everyone. ole joyful