I like the soapstone perimeter with the carrara marble island top, at least 2" thick, preferably 2 1/2 with a very sculpted edge. Looks like money because it is.
I have soapstone and a very small butcherblock work table (2x4) that's pushed against the wall because my kitchen is 17x11, with six doors and two windows; on any case too narrow for a fixed island.
My soapstone is hard and very plain (tiny veins). Haven't had any issues with scratching or chipping. I did let some soda spilled on it sit, and it has appeared to etch it. Soapstone is user-riendly, and I have no doubt that I could resurface it myself (I DIY-ed my tops). Etching and staining are the chief antagonists to marble remaining pristine. But aged marble has a payina it's own; whomever says stuff has to be showroom fresh forever isn't living in the real world.
Casey

I recommend you head over to the Kitchens forum. You will find lots of advice there. Kitchens

From your description of your family & lifestyle, I doubt the carrara marble would be a good choice. It wouldn't for me. But, there are some granites & quartzites that look much like carrara marble, with less maintenance & care, and also many that look a lot like soapstone. Also look at Silestone & Cambria -- there are said to be some with a marble look to them, and virtually no maintenance. Corian supposedly has some good looks, now, too.

Look at Bianco Romano, White Pearl, White Princess, Moon Night, Bianco Antico, Andromeda, among others for the white granites.

Here is a link that might be useful: granite instead of marble

I have had a Corian island for 20+ years, and it has survived two children, red wine, grape juice and more. Now that we're doing an extensive remodel, we're getting soapstone countertops for the perimeter and Corian for the new (larger) island. There are even more neat colors and looks in Corian than there were in the 1980s, when we were the only people we knew who had Corian.
by the way, you don't have to "treat" soapstone; you can oil it occasinally, if you wish, but it's not mandatory to maintain that beautiful matte look.

I have soapstone, and I use it as a working countertop. The big difference to me is staining. Just a few days ago I had slops of blueberry, strawberry and Raspberry jam, along with lemon juice. And it all wiped up as if it wasn't there. Then the next day I rolled out sugar cookies on the same spot.

I don't oil my soapstone (too much work and I put food direclty on it all the time).

I have a feeling if I had marble, I'd have lots of stains on it already. I love the look of marble and think I'd be OK with the patina. But I know it wouldn't look as nice as the soapstone does after two days of jam making!

If kathryn606 is still around, would you post a pic of your soapstone and corian together?

What is the material on this island? The last picture shown. Thanks!

It looks like calacatta marble to me -- larger grain and warmer grey than carrara.

Thanks! Thats what it looks like to me too. Need to replace countertop in kitchen just on wall with sink. Island is butcher block. Having a hard time deciding! Love the marble but scared of scratching, etching, staining, upkeep! I hate plastic looking, man-made products! Help!!!

Are you going to be okay with the 'patina' that develops?

Who lives in your household? Just you + signifincant other? Or busy family with guests/kids? What are your cooking habits?