I forgot to meantion this is a NEW BUILD!

No, you don't have to use her, but if the builder has the property listed and you buy it, he would still owe her the commission. Since she found him a buyer (you), she has fullfilled her obligation and is owed her fee, so you won't be saving a thing. You also won't have her around to give you advice and (hopefully) look out for your best interests.

Next time, listen to your Momma. She seems to have her ethics in order.

Oh. So you just want to *use* your Mom's Realtor friend for free.

Legal? Perhaps.

Ethical? No.

Did you mom's friend show you the house you want to buy, or just take you to see other homes? If you saw the house with her, you are ethically obliged to have her represent you. If she showed you other homes, but you found this one on your own with no help from her, you are not obliged to use her, but really should, if it was with in a few days or weeks of her taking you out looking. IMHO

Your arguements and ethics are both pretty weak. What is the difference between a new construction and a resale as far as the sellers saving the 3% or not. Nothing. Your agent can probably save you more than 3% if you had her on your side... you see, a builder sees someone off of the street as a single, one time transaction. They see an agent as a source of multiple transactions. Who do you think they are going to negotiate harder with?
People like you is why I get a Buyer Agency Agreement signes ASAP. There are too many people that do not hesitate with wasting a persons time and money. Your Momma should ahve taught have you better than that.

Did you mom's friend show you the house you want to buy, or just take you to see other homes?

Isn't that really the kicker? It's unclear whether the OP found the new home on their own or was shown the property by the realtor. If the former is the case, I would think the OP has no duty, ethical or otherwise, to the realtor who showed him/her other properties that he/she is not choosing.

It's unclear whether the OP found the new home on their own or was shown the property by the realtor.

Oh it's very clear: "My Mom thinks that since she showed me the property I have to use her, "

My realtor wouldn't show us a house until we signed an agreement that she would be our agent if we put an offer on anything she showed us. Too many people wasting the realtor's time lookie-looing and then going around them.

Excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me. ;-)

The OP knows this is wrong and is just looking for someone to say it is OK. They had a realtor come work for them and now want to stiff that person in order to save money.

Is that ethical? Certainly not. Is it legal? Well, I guess it depends on your state laws and if you signed a contract. It certainly sounds like a situation that could end up in court pretty easily.

I guess I was thinking back on a situation that I was in several years ago. A realtor spent an afternoon with me and showed me several houses, none of which were quite what I was looking for. A couple of weeks later, my (then) husband found a new build, and we made an offer directly to the builder's agent. Because the realtor who had taken me around to properties before hadn't found this particular property we were interested in, we had no sense of obligation to her.

Obviously, if/since the realtor who spent time showing the OP properties showed them the property they want to offer on (regardless of whether it's a new build or not), the OP owes the realtor a commission for finding that new home. Are you otherwise "burning bridges"? If you have to ask, you probably already know the answer.

To the OP: This isn't a question of etiquette, but of ethics - yours.

Because this is a new poster, i assume she wants the house without paying the person who helped her out and does not realize this forum is to help out, not condone her behavior.

I wonder if the builder agent put a bird in the OP's ear about ditching the realtor to get a lower price. Why would the buyer care who pays the commission?

BTW, it's ETIQUETTE, not ediquette.

Get some morals and ethics. I can't believe you would try to screw over your mom's friend who was trying to do you a favour.

Is this person for real, or a troll? Jeez.

Is this person for real, or a troll?

I don't know, but I doubt they will be back.

I dont know what area you're in but it my area when a realtor shows a client a "new build" they register their clients name with the builder for just that reason. The builder will be paying the realtor the commission anyway and YOU will not be getting the benefit of having skilled negotiations. Since you dont even know whats right and wrong, whether it be moral or ethical, I suspect the builder will be able to take advantage of you pretty easily. You are a first time homebuyer, you need the benefit of the agents experience. They will save you and GAIN you more than the 3%.

"I suspect the builder will be able to take advantage of you pretty easily. You are a first time homebuyer, you need the benefit of the agents experience. They will save you and GAIN you more than the 3%."

I'm thinking of having that tattooed on my forehead...

Etiquette, ethics, manners, laws, contracts and everything else aside, you are not going to get a better deal from the builder without the agent, so you may as well do the right thing and get the agent her commission for this sale.