Return to the Buying and Selling Homes Forum | Post a Follow-Up

 o
Please help with our family debate re: realtor

Posted by bmxmom (My Page) on
Sun, Aug 1, 10 at 22:00

Please help settle a debate in our family. Here is the situation- our home is currently on the market and we are working with the realtor who we have used for four different transactions (buying three times, selling once). She knows our personalities pretty well.
Our realtor has our contact info- home phone, both cells, my husbands work email and our family email. Because my husband is very busy at work and I am the "organizer" in our family, I have always been the contact person. I am the one who does most to get the house ready for showings, open houses, etc.
Our house has been for sale for several months and in the past two months, there has been a shift of how things have been handled. Our realtor is no longer using our home phone or emailshe is contacting my husband via his cell phone or work email. I feel as if she is deliberately leaving me out of the loop. My husband is very relaxed and feels that I am over-reacting. He thinks that she is emailing him because he scanned a few documents from his work email address and thinks that his email address is popping up first when she goes to contact us. This initially made sense, but I have sent emails to her from our home account during this time and she continues sending things directed toward him. Things came to a head the other day when I was looking at local listings online and noticed that ours had an open house icon beside it. I had no idea that an open house had been scheduled. The realtor set it up with my husband, who was swamped at work and had not mentioned it to me. Then, the morning of the open house, she left a reminder voicemail on his cell phone. Im sure that he would have remembered to tell me, but hate to think what would have happened had he not. I have had it. Our contract is up with her in a week or so and we are considering another realtor.

Just a disclaimer.we have always had a good relationship with the realtor and to the best of my knowledge, I havent done anything that may have ticked her off. Also, I am not a crazy control-freakI just like having all of my "ducks in a row" (esp. when it comes to having the house in perfect condition for showings). Lastly, we have a solid marriage and our communication skills are great (sometimes w/ a short time delay!!).

My question is thisam I being way over-sensitive (husband feels I am) or do I have reason to be irritated??? Thanks for being our referee!!


Follow-Up Postings:

 o
RE: Please help with our family debate re: realtor

Not having heard the other side(s), so to speak, I'm with you. Something seems out of kilter.


 o
RE: Please help with our family debate re: realtor

I don't want to settle anything between you and your husband. LOL. Do I want in the middle of this? NOOOOO. It's not about some sinister underlying reason, it's just about establishing good communication. Very important when selling a home.

I own a business, and there are people who bypass me and contact my husband instead on business matters and it causes problems. I don't expect him to know pricing and inventory or my schedule. He also sometimes forgets to relay information to me, and it is often important, but he has no way to know that since he doesn't read my mind. I know what you are talking about. I face the "but your husband said" responses often enough to have just gotten to the point to tell them that they need to deal with me directly.

Seems to me she should be working one or the other, consistently as a contact person, just to keep confusion to a minimum. If you aren't being kept up to date then there is confusion. If there were a showing and I found out about it like you did, I would peeved. I found out the night before a big dinner at church my husband had volunteered me to cook for seventy five people. And it was the church secretary who told me, because he had forgotten. LOL. Been there and done that. I don't think I would have made any big deal over it, however. I simply would have picked up the phone, talked to the agent and told him/her to quit bothering my husband at work, tell them it is causing problems because the information doesn't always reach you in a timely manner. capisci? But, you can't really take that approach if your husband doesn't seem to think there is a problem. Maybe you could just ask her why she is suddenly not keeping you in the loop? Has she at any occasion tried to contact you and gotten answering machines? Is it easier to find him available? I find the easiest way to get an answer is right from the horse's mouth.


 o
RE: Please help with our family debate re: realtor

I've run into issues with my hubby not relaying important messages to me. As a result I've been blindsided a few times with surprise visits, appointments, and contractors etc. Even my own children will make some arrangement with my hubby and he forgets to let me in on the plans. I've dealt with it by making sure my children know that if it isn't run by me it's not happening. I've had the discussion with my hubby that he needs to have the respective parties run arrangements by me since I'm the planner in the family. My husband is very busy and household matters are not a huge priority for him. Thus they get forgotten. I don't want to take sides because I've only heard your side, but I know exactly where you're coming from !!

I would personally call the realtor and tell her that you're the one that runs the day to day activities of the house. You keep the calendar. Your husband is too busy to deal with the day to day scheduling of household matters. If she doesn't want appointments or open houses to go awry, she should contact you with any and all issues pertaining to the sale of the home.

We've been married for 35 years and we have each learned our respective strong points. Mine is planning and organizing, my husband's is not !! I'd be irritated too!!


 o
RE: Please help with our family debate re: realtor

I didn't read anything in your post that you actually contacted your agent and told her that she needs to contact you. You said "I feel as if she is deliberately leaving me out of the loop. ", but have you talked to her? Or are you just jumping to conclusions?


 o
RE: Please help with our family debate re: realtor

I'm with Cordovamom - have in fact been in similar situations, and have not hesitated to tell the agent (of whatever the business is) to please communicate with both of us equally, if not myself even more. Some people just have holdover issues about men running the show and arbitrarily decide to talk to "the man", which makes me crazy to say the least. You need to be assertive!


 o
RE: Please help with our family debate re: realtor

bmxmom,
This is simple... call your agent and ask her to CC you on every email, and ask her to make you the contact person from here forward. If you do not like "confrontation" then ask your husband to forward all emails to you.
Apparently she is a good agent or you would not have used her 4 times.


 o
RE: Please help with our family debate re: realtor

Sounds like you have more of an issue with your husband than the agent. He's the one who dropped the ball. If he's not in a position to make the day to day decisions, then he shouldn't be making them. It is really easy to just say "My wife takes care of the home, so you'll need to schedule the open house with her." No confrontation involved. If he won't do that, then you will need to make that request.

BTW - I doubt your agent has any sinister motives. From your limited description, it sounds like your husband is the type of person who is used to giving really quick yes or no answers to business questions. He's not worried about cleaning schedules or anything else. He just heard "open house" and said "sure, sounds great". That is the kind of response any business person, including your agent, loves to have. They will naturally want to work with that person because it makes their life easy. However, you are the client, so if you want to be the contact person, just let the agent know.


 o
RE: Please help with our family debate re: realtor

"Our realtor is no longer using our home phone or emailshe is contacting my husband via his cell phone or work email. I feel as if she is deliberately leaving me out of the loop. My husband is very relaxed and feels that I am over-reacting."

I don't think you are over-reacting. Your realtor is bothering your husband at work (and ignoring you) while knowing perfectly well that you are an active participant in selling this house. So much for knowing both of your personalities. Since she has a week before the listing expires, I'd do what the following poster suggested and see if she can follow this simple instruction (keeping BOTH of you in the loop) before you decide to renew your contract with her.

"calliope-I simply would have picked up the phone, talked to the agent and told him/her to quit bothering my husband at work, tell them it is causing problems because the information doesn't always reach you in a timely manner. capisci?"


 o
RE: Please help with our family debate re: realtor

Thanks for all of the great advice. I'll be the first to admit that I hate conflict and should have been more direct with her a while ago. What Billl said really makes sense in our situation...my husband is very quick and to the point. I, on the other hand, am pretty chatty. I'm sure that a call to him would be much more efficient. Thanks so much guys!!!


 o Post a Follow-Up

Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum.

    If you are a member, please log in.

    If you aren't yet a member, join now!


Return to the Buying and Selling Homes Forum

Information about Posting

  • You must be logged in to post a message. Once you are logged in, a posting window will appear at the bottom of the messages. If you are not a member, please register for an account.
  • Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review your post, make changes and upload photos.
  • After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
  • Before posting copyrighted material, please read about Copyright and Fair Use.
  • We have a strict no-advertising policy!
  • If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
  • If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.


Learn more about in-text links on this page here