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New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Posted by scarletshouse (My Page) on
Wed, Jun 27, 12 at 23:16

I don't know where else to post but I would welcome some feedback/opinions. I bought a house in a typical suburban neighborhood less than a year ago. I haven't really gotten to know many people because of working long hours. One of the constant irritations is the across-the-street neighbors (couple with 3 kids) constantly park in front of my house, even though they have space in their driveway and in front of their own house. They have two large vehicles; I have one and use my garage. I have parked in front of my home to "claim my space" and hopefully discourage them but it has continued. Street parking is legal but in my opinion, it's inconsiderate to take up space in front of a neighbor's house if you have adequate parking of your own. They never park in front of any other house - the house next to me and directly across from theirs was vacant for months and they still parked in front of my house.

Not being the type to confront anyone, I set my trash can in the space on a non-trash day (I know, very passive-aggresive). When I brought it in they had taped a note to it saying that the street is for the public and I could not reserve a parking place. The wife has never spoken to me before, in fact she does not look my way whenever I'm out; the husband has been friendly. Several days later when he was outside and she was gone, I asked why they would leave a note taped to my trash can. His answer was that they were trying to help me, that they had lived here for a long time and I was new. I asked why they would prefer to park in front of my house when they had room at their own, he became nasty. Now we're not speaking. I hate that this has happened. It was what I was trying to avoid by not saying anything for almost a year even though it irritated me.

His arguments are that it's a public street and I have nothing to say about where anyone parks. Mine are that it may be legal but it's inconsiderate, no one else does it, they never park in front of any house but mine while their own driveway and frontage are clear, my guests can't park in front of my house, and on and on.

Who is right, and should I have just kept my mouth shut? The neighborhood is full of kids and they seem to be friends with all of the other neighbors, who I barely know. I'm single, no kids. What if anything should I do now? I can imagine being "frozen out" by everyone as the gossip surely spreads.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

The fact is, the street is public. There is no way you cam make these people park elsewhere.

Inconsiderate? Yes. But there may be some reason why they aren't parking in front of their house--a shade tree, maybe. Or just that they don't want to have to turn their car around to park in front of their house.

Have you noticed other people parking in the street? Do they always park in front of their own houses? The neighbor could have been trying to tell you how this neighborhood works, to help you fit in.

I don't know if taking a different approach would have changed the result. All you can do now is to try to repair the damage.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Does your community have a HOA? Are there any covenants or restrictions that might address this issue? If not, perhaps your city or county government might have some regulations. You could call the non-emergency police number or city hall and ask for guidance. As long as their parking doesn't block your driveway I'm not sure that there is much you can do.

When you have guests, instruct them to park wherever there is space available, starting with his house.

It seems to me that your neighbor isn't being very neighborly.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Other neighbors park on the street but always in front of their own houses. Occasionally their guests have parked in front of my house and I don't mind. I wouldn't mind these people either if it were only occasional, but it's every day. I suspect they don't like the view of their own giant vehicles in front of their windows, and their kids like to play in the driveway (we all have large back yards). I don't buy the "helping me" excuse. I think he feels that I don't need the space because I only have one vehicle. There's no advantage to my house, no shade tree, etc. except that they're inconsiderate to me instead of one of their friends.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Wow! I can feel your pain through your description. That situation is so very unfair to you. At least you did try to reason with your neighbor. You did your part; they are wrong to blatantly use "your space" even if it is legal. No doubt about it, they are selfish and inconsiderate.

As they seem to value their uncluttered view and unused driveway, have you considered parking your car in front of THEIR yard for a few months? (I know; that makes you as petty as they are, but this situation makes me want to give these people some of their own medicine.)

What about making a wide and long planting bed with pretty shrubs and/or flowering trees along the street edge of your yard? You could even have a short, code-approved fence. This might improve YOUR view, in that you would not have to see their car on the curb in front of your house.

It is awful to have to feel uncomfortable in your own neighborhood, and it is harder in that you are single. You might be surprised at the other neighbors' opinions of these folks----people as nasty and unbending as they are have probably made other people uncomfortable.

Just keep smiling and being friendly with everyone on your street. Let them see that YOU are not the problem.
Good luck!


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Covingtoncat, yes the HOA does address it, and I didn't have a chance to mention that before he stormed off. The rules state that a homeowner has to first use the garage, then the driveway before street parking. Their garage is used for storage, as is a lot of others. I wouldn't involve the HOA as any rule-enforcing would affect the neighbors who use the street in front of their own homes. That would surely make me the neighborhood beeatch.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Pinkpaula, I thought about that! But I could see my car getting "accidentally" damaged by their kids who have all means of sports equipment. And in my scheming dreams I thought about broken bottles or nails in the street. But I dislike it so much that I've never once parked in front of anyone else's home. My car is small so it wouldn't mess up their view anyway.

I do hope you're right, that the other neighbors noticed and disapproved of how they parked. To me, their only argument is that it's legal. Since the note, I've been parking in front of my home and I noticed one of their cars in front of another home, so the neighbors are getting a taste of it.

Thanks for your post - I needed that!


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

You are right in thinking that the neighbor is being inconsiderate. You were also right to say something about it. But, as you already know, there is nothing illegal about what he is doing, therefore nothing can be done. I doubt the HOA would be much help, and besides, if you go and rat him out, that is not going to help neighborly relations at all. It is terrible you have not been there that long and you have already seemed to make enemies over what appears to be such a trivial thing. But I do understand where you are coming from. I wouldn't appreciate them parking on my side either.

Someone else suggested maybe they were parking there to keep their cars out from under trees, and that makes sense. Maybe they get a lot more visitors than you, and they keep their side open for them. Maybe some of their visitors are elderly and they are trying to keep the driveway or their side of the street open for them. Maybe their kids play ball or skateboard in the driveway, and they keep their cars on your side so the kids won't bang into the cars, or maybe so their cars don't block the view of passing cars if their kids accidentally run out into the street. They know you only have one car, maybe they don't think you get too many visitors, and maybe they didn't think you cared, since you aren't actually using that space anyway. It could be a number of innocent things.

Another way of looking at this - if you work long hours and never have a car in your driveway or your side of the street, it could be a good thing they are parking on your side. If a burglar wanted to break into a house, they would pick the house that looks like nobody is home. They are actually making your house less attractive to a burglar. And another "positive" thing - if a car came down the street and popped the curb, it is not going to run through your yard and destroy your grass or landscaping, because the neighbor's cars would be blocking that. There - I just thought of 2 reasons why this could be a good thing. Haha

I would let things cool down, and after a little while, go over there when you know both of them are home and try to have a friendly conversation. Maybe bring a peace offering like some cookies or something. I hate to suggest you be a pushover and apologize to them when they should actually be apologizing to you, but we also live in a world where people can get really nasty when confronted, even if they are the ones in the wrong. You being by yourself, I would not want you to do anything that could affect your safety. You may want to bring someone else with you when you do this, maybe even another neighbor. Apologize for any misunderstandings, and try to explain your position in a friendly manner. Try to come up with some sort of agreement that everyone can live with. Whatever you do - do not keep playing games with the trash can and let something like this escalate.

Good luck. I hope things get better for you.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Cas, that's a very thoughtful post. I appreciate it. Yes the cookie thing might make me the bigger person. I may muster up the courage after some calming down time. You are right about the burglar prevention. I tried to look at it that way but fortunately I'm in an almost crime-free area. I tried and tried to ignore it but I felt like a doormat. I made a huge purchase (a lifelong dream for me) and I snagged a house that was way out of reach before the recession. Their parking was literally the only thing ruining it for me.

I'm not worried about my safety. They're a younger couple, he's some kind of professional, she stays home with the kids. From my perspective, and no offense to anyone, they're from the "entitled" generation, 20 years younger than me in my early 50's. The're obnoxious and also loud (neverending cell phone conversations in the front yard at all hours) but not dangerous. I don't mean to be argumentative since I asked you all for advice, but there's no elderly relative, no shade tree, no innocent reason except that they feel the street is public and I don't have kids their kids play with so they'd rather inconvenience me than someone else who's taking their kids to a movie or the beach. You are of course right about the trash can. But confrontations, even though I'm as civil and polite as I can be, are extremely difficult for me, and I resent having to deal with bullies.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Can you talk to another neighbor to ask their advice? You'd need to make sure not to do it in a gossipy way, or in a way that implies you really want them to talk to the neighbor about it, but in a "I'm new in this neighborhood and need your advice" way. Explain you really hate the conflict, and don't know how to approach the neighbors about something that you acknowledge could seem petty, but bugs you because you've fulfilled a dream of homeownership and they're kind-of "stealing" your curb area.

Maybe if they know your neighbors better they'll have some insights.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Neighborhoods are weird- things that may have started out as simple oddities go on and on for years and then seem to turn into "the way it is."

I know I moved into a neighborhood where the bulk of the owners have literally been here 40+ years. Many of the things that are normal to them (people walk their dogs way down into backyards and around behind houses) baffle me.
But I am new, it is as close to a perfect neighborhood as could possibly exist, and I do not want to make enemies out of anyone.

Most of me says that cas66ragtop's idea is best- cool down and then have an actual conversation with them.
The petty part of me would park a rent-a-wreck in front of their home.
You could even plant something that drops really nasty fruit or something birds like so they cluster out there.
Heck, while you're at it setup 15 bird feeders streetside so the vehicles get splattered daily.

I also wonder if this annoyance hasn't somehow taken on a life of its own- can you attempt focusing on looking out your back windows and loving your backyard instead of so much hating on the front situation?
It's like the Serenity Prayer's advice about accepting things you cannot change.

I understand the aggravation, I do, as I am a dyed in the wool "get off my lawn!" type, but in the long run this is a very small thing that you have allowed to ruin your enjoyment of your home.
Focus on the larger joy and not the small annoyance.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Unless this is a very unusual town, with extremely different rules than I've heard of, there's absolutely nothing wrong with what he's doing. Homeowner's don't own the street (they really don't even own 'their' sidewalk, generally--only the right to maintain it--LOL).

I live in a neighborhood. And while I do park my car in the driveway, almost never parking on the street, others like to street park--sometimes in front of their own homes, sometimes in front of others homes. What difference does it make? You say you (used to, at least) always park in the garage--so what's the problem? You have a driveway and a vacant house next to you--can't your guests park in one of those locations? Unless they're handicapped (and even then, the driveway is an option) a few extra steps shouldn't make a difference.

Look, I do agree the guy's inconsiderate--but I simply cannot see this being the issue that I personally would have started a neighborhood feud over. It's just not that important, and no offense intended, but you don't have a legal leg to stand on.

The ONLY time I have EVER gotten bent out of shape about someone parking in front of my house was one year when we got about 30 inches of snow, the snow plows did their thing, leaving a mountain of the stuff in front of my house. I spent all day shovelling that hard-packed mess out of ONE space in front of my house. At that time, my DD still lived home (she had a back problem due to a car accident and couldn't shovel), and our driveway only held 2 cars (DH's and mine) so she had to street park (and had a permit on her car permitting her to do so overnight). Shortly before she was due home from school, some woman up the street's boyfriend pulled his truck into my carefully cleaned spot. Yes, in that case, I did go to the door, and ask him to move. That was a whold different situation, though. Otherwise, I figure the street's public property, and anyone can park anywhere. And living in an area where the properties are only 40 feet wide (only room for one car if you have a driveway) it's nice that we all get along over the parking issue.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

The ONLY time I have EVER gotten bent out of shape about someone parking in front of my house was one year when we got about 30 inches of snow, the snow plows did their thing, leaving a mountain of the stuff in front of my house. I spent all day shovelling that hard-packed mess out of ONE space in front of my house. At that time, my DD still lived home (she had a back problem due to a car accident and couldn't shovel), and our driveway only held 2 cars (DH's and mine) so she had to street park (and had a permit on her car permitting her to do so overnight). "Shortly before she was due home from school, some woman up the street's boyfriend pulled his truck into my carefully cleaned spot. Yes, in that case, I did go to the door, and ask him to move. That was a whold different situation, though. Otherwise, I figure the street's public property, and anyone can park anywhere. And living in an area where the properties are only 40 feet wide (only room for one car if you have a driveway) it's nice that we all get along over the parking issue."

A shoveled-out parking spot is the only exception I know to the "street parking is public parking" rule that I know. In Boston, for a couple of days after a storm, you can save the space you shovel out, by placing some large object (lawn chairs are popular) in the spot.

OP, I know having someone's car more or less permanently parked in front of your house is frustrating. My dad has a neighbor with a couple of kids. Other people frequently bring their kids over to play. The mini-van pulls up in front of the next-door house, the kids get out, and then the van pulls up to in front of Dad's house to park. Every single time.

Dad is just as frustrated as you are, in part because the neighbors seem to be sending a clear message of, "We're too good to have cars parked in front of our house, but it's okay for you!"

But he doesn't say anything, because on the whole, they are fairly good neighbors and he doesn't want to start anything.

The kicker is, the kids next door play in Dad's yard all the time, with permission. Their own back yard disappeared when they built the three-story mammoth garage. And Dad has a huge yard and doesn't mind kids playing there.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I agree 100% with azzalea! I couldn't believe that it took so long for someone to say that!
Slightly inconsiderate? Sure.
Should you get worked up over it? Definitely not!
Their kids probably play in the front yard and they want to keep the area unobstructed because of that.
I think the trash can thing was extremely immature and was probably the thing that escalated the situation.
You could try parking your own car in front of your house for a while so that they get used to parking somewhere else. Then once that habit is established and you move your car back to the garage, they may continue to park somewhere else.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

You have 2 choices

1) Let it bother you

2) don't worry, be happy, block your mind from giving a hoot about this at all. In a nutshell, get over it pronto.

If I was in your shoes, I would do so hard work on #2 and move forward with my live. Anything else is going to cause worry, pain, anticipate, negative thoughts, etc. Life is too short to worry about this escpecially since you have no control the change where they park. You only have control to how you react to this.

Realize, these folks will probably move within a few years anyway. It's gonna take some work on your part to "no longer care". But you can do this. Start now. Each time you see that car, tell yourself "so what".


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

How did you assign yourself this privilege?

Parking on a public street is public parking, and you have no more 'right' to the space in front of your property than anyone else.

Get over your attitude.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"The kicker is, the kids next door play in Dad's yard all the time, with permission. Their own back yard disappeared when they built the three-story mammoth garage. And Dad has a huge yard and doesn't mind kids playing there."

Nice to hear this kind of neighbor still exists. When I grew up we played or cut through "each other's" yards all the time.

We created a football field in the back of ours, the next two yards over (the one in middle the kids were grown).

Never heard about any complaints.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

It seems like now that you've had the argument they will look at that parking situation as a forever thing. Out of spite. Because they know it bothers you, they will keep on doing it. If you aren't home much, why does it matter?


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I would never park my cars on the public street in front a house if I know the owner does not like that.

Anything could happen to any cars on a public street.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"Parking on a public street is public parking, and you have no more 'right' to the space in front of your property than anyone else. "

Amen to that!


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"Nice to hear this kind of neighbor still exists. When I grew up we played or cut through "each other's" yards all the time.
We created a football field in the back of ours, the next two yards over (the one in middle the kids were grown).
Never heard about any complaints."

Guess they didn't have any $60 rose bushes.

For the life of me I can't understand why people's kids can't play in their own yards.
If I wanted kids trampling my stuff I would have had my own little rug rats.
Get off my lawn!


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

The OP stated,"I bought a house in a typical suburban neighborhood."

A "typical suburban neighborhood" is NOT an in-town or inner city situation where there is intense competition for a very limited number of parking spaces. The type of parking "wherever you can find a space" is NOT the norm in a suburban neighborhood.

Her neighbors CHOOSE to park their "large" vehicles in front of her house. "They never park in front of any other house - the house next to me and directly across from theirs was vacant for months and they still parked in front of my house."

Therefore, she does have a right to feel that the neighbors are being unreasonable and selfish: they are doing what is good for THEM, no matter how it affects anyone else.

I still say plant trees and shrubs at the curb to shield the view of their car.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I would do as mentioned above and plant trees and birdfeeders to attract birds.

Temporary parking would not bother me, but every day would. Legal or not, cars parked on the street look ugly. I live in a new house HOA type neighborhod. If you can't fit all of your cars in the garage and driveway, you either have to get rid of them or add more driveway/parking space. Street parking is ok for parties and temporary events.

My kids are friends with neighbors the next street over. They have permission to run through a couple of the neighbors yards to get there. It is a lot safer. We have a lot of construction and potential buyers. There are too many people coming through the neighborhood to make it safe for them to walk alone on the streets.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Dare I say it? OK, I will... one word... tacks ;-)


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"The type of parking "wherever you can find a space" is NOT the norm in a suburban neighborhood. "

Maybe in your limited experience.

I live in a small infill development with pipe stem lots all over the place (these ARE private 'roads').

The public streets often have cars from neighbors scattered all over.

It is a public street.

It is public parking.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

brickeyee, you're (deliberately?) missing the point. I live on a public street, and there are cars in front of my house all day. No problem. In this situation, the neighbour is CHOOSING to park in front of someone else's house, instead of in the empty space in front of his own house. Of course he has a legal right to do so *rolls eyes* but why would he, other than to be a jerk? I agree about planting (messy) trees and shrubs to hide his big vehicle.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

ottawavalleygardener: "Of course he has a legal right to do so *rolls eyes* but why would he, other than to be a jerk?"

Exactly.

I can see zero reason for this behavior other than to prove one is an inconsiderate jerk.

Bottom line, just because you CAN do something, does not mean you should.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Wow, thank you all for weighing in. I had no idea how many people would respond but I appreciate all comments, even the ones who think I'm wrong. Interesting that there are such strong opinions on both sides of the issue. I know I was petty with the trash can. What's happening now is that my car is in the space every day (I'm working from home now) and they're still leaving their driveway open and parking in front of other homes. Since the other homeowners haven't experienced it until now, I suspect they will feel as I did. Time will tell. I know I don't have the rights to my frontage but it does feel like a violation, especially when they never used anyone else's. If everyone on the street randomly parked anywhere, then I'd accept it as just the way things worked. I'm going to take the very good advice of just being friendly to everyone else and never complain about these people to them so as not to fuel the fire. Thanks to all who responded.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Scarletshouse,

I think you need to borrow someone's dog and have him poop on this neighbor's lawn a few times.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Why would they park on the other side of the street? Convenience and/or safety.

Maybe they arrive home from one direction and leave home in the other. (Due to traffic light placement, this is how I arrive/leave from my neighbourhood.) If they parked on their side, then they would have to do a three point turn to park when they come home and then do another three point turn to leave, instead of just pulling up and parking on the other side and then simply driving away when they leave.

Or, as has been said, their kids play in their driveway/front yard. Parking on the other side of the street keeps their vehicles away from possible damage and gives drivers who are passing by an unobstructed view of their kids in case they run out into the street.

And now possibly out of spite due to the passive-aggressive trashcan placement. I hate passive-aggressive moves. If someone simply told me that something I was doing was bothering them, I would gladly change my actions. But if they started trying to "get back" at me subtly, I would dig in my heels.

And I'm sure there are other non-malicious reasons someone might do it, but those are the only ones I could think of off the top of my head.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Greg, I get it. Cowards use passive-aggessive means. That was my big mistake. I figured they'd get the message without me having to say anything, stop parking there and problem solved. That's what I have done if the situation were reversed. Needless to say, I've learned my lesson on that.

However, it's close to the end of a cul de sac, they're pointed into the cul de sac in front of my property, and out of it on their side. So my side is minimally more convenient arriving, not leaving.

Since it is a cul de sac, traffic is limited to only those who live there, and everyone is mindful of kids playing.

If it had been me and I wanted to have clear space for my kids to play despite owning two behemoth vehicles, I would have asked the brand new neighbor if they minded if I parked there ONCE IN A WHILE.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I like Paula's suggestion--plant stuff. You will screen your view, encourage poopin' birds, improve the overall look of the cul de sac, etc etc.

Is there a parkway/hell strip/ planting strip you can put some messy fruity trees in? Birds love those, and they have their own merits of course. It'll take a while for trees to grow in so it won't be obvious. But YOU will know your nefarious plot.

Act nice to these idiots, especially to their kids. And be nice for real to the other neighbors (I know how awkward it is to introduce yourself to your neighbors after you've been there forever haha).


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I dunno, but I believe the OP has the right to peaceful enjoyment of his house, and part of that enjoyment encompasses visual aesthetics.

Who doesn't enjoy pulling up to their house and stepping back a bit to admire it, if only for a moment? But these self-absorbed neighbors have stolen that moment from the OP because of their obtrusive, for-ever present, behemoth vehicles.

Now as far as what should be done about the situation, I'm rather old school when it comes to dealing with these matters: keep my distance --- but keep my dignity. Apologize? Apologize for what? When someone's space is habitually violated, then one has every right to react. Whether or not the OP's approach was too passive-aggressive, I get the feeling that these neighbors would have responded arrogantly no matter what the approach.

Since neighborhood conflicts are so common, please let us know if and when things are resolved. Best of luck.



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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I would plant tulip poplars and hang birdfeeders in it. They grow quickly, mostly don't need pruned, look pretty from 10' away, and drip nasty sap all over everything.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"the neighbour is CHOOSING to park in front of someone else's house, instead of in the empty space in front of his own house."

And there may be any number of reasons.

If you do not like the possibility of ANYONE parking in front of your house, move to a private street.

Keep in mind that means YOU will be paying for street maintenance on you little private street.

I would bet the OP is far from everyone's favorite neighbor.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

It is unfair to accuse OP for not wanting the neighbors to park their own vehicle in front of OP's house, and leave the neighbors' own spot open. To say "I would bet the OP is far from everyone's favorite neighbor" sounds like attacking without any supporting facts.

Why "the neighbor has any number of reasons" to park on other side of street, and leave their own side street open counts and the OP's "many number of reasons" not wanting them to park on OP's side of street does not? It means it is OK for the neighbors to put their own interest above others', it is OK to be inconsiderate.

Why we cannot see OP using a trash can as being polite and giving hint to OP's neighbor? Instead of thinking OP is being passive aggressive?

Some of the suggestions essentially are asking OP to look the other way, deny OP's own feeling, be a wimp and give in to a bully.

If the street is public place, following this logic, guess OP also has right to park whatever in front of the neighbors' house? A good way to make a war zone out of a neighborhood.

We had a neighbor like this, who did not (or chose not to) understand hints, or nice suggestions until he was brutually confronted by other neighbors. Overnight, he became nice and respectful. It makes us wonder sometimes it may take bullying to fix a bully.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"Wonderful" quotes by Brickeyee from this thread alone:

"How did you assign yourself this privilege?"

"Get over your attitude."

"I would bet the OP is far from everyone's favorite neighbor."

Someone comes to a public forum, looking for advice on how to handle a situation that is important to them - and this kind of response is acceptable?

Everybody here is completely aware of the legality of parking on public streets. That has never been the issue. The OP was asking advice on how to handle the situation, thats all. Theres a difference between what is legally allowed and morally right. If she was truly a terrible person, she would have just gotten back at the neighbor with any means possible, she would not have come here looking for advice in the first place.

I think it's pretty evident who the "terrible neighbor" is around here.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

My across the street neighbors to this to my next door neighbor all the time.

They too use the garage for storage, and they have a one lane drive that will only fit their two cars one behind the other. They are constantly juggling cars and when they put one on the street, it's always in front of my next door neighbor's house and not in front of their own.

I have no idea why and I also have no idea if it bothers my neighbors.

I just looked outside and it's happening right now. The silver SUV belongs to the white house with the black shutters across the street. Pic is lousy because it's pouring rain out.
Photobucket


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

So which of you would welcome giant vehicles parked in front of your home & neighbors who inform you that they have the "right" & they don't care whether you like it or not?

As far as parking in front of a neighbor's house for "safety" or convenience, that just isn't an excuse.

They can clean out their garage & comply with HOA rules, or they can pull into their drive & turn around when they're heading out in whatever direction.

I once lived in a house where there was a family like this, & *nothing* will make them like you, nothing will make them good neighbors, & nothing will keep them from encroaching as much as possible.

Forget the cookies & smiles;
they'll interpret as a sign of weakness, & that'll make them more aggressive.

The only way to keep them from using the street in front of your home instead of the street in front of their home is to actually park something there yourself.

Go to a city auction & buy something that runs;
get a license plate, inspection sticker, & insurance on it, & park it in front of your house.

You may need to move it every 24 hours, but you can move it say from the east side to the west side.

If the budget runs to it, install a motion-sensor camera that will activate when anyone gets near the curb, & if that auction car gets damaged, turn in the tape to the police.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

cas66ragtop said it just right:
"There's a difference between what is legally allowed and morally right."

mamattorney illustrated the issue with an appropriate photograph.

Obviously, some people don't want the front view of THEIR OWN property to look cluttered so they park their extra vehicle in front of their neighbor's house.

As maremma stated, "I believe the OP has the right to peaceful enjoyment of his house, and part of that enjoyment encompasses visual aesthetics.

"Who doesn't enjoy pulling up to their house and stepping back a bit to admire it, if only for a moment? But these self-absorbed neighbors have stolen that moment from the OP because of their obtrusive, for-ever present, behemoth vehicles."

The OP's home might be on a smaller-sized lot, which would bring her house closer to the street and to the view of the neighbor's parked vehicle.

I agree with sylviatexas, I think most of us on this forum sympathize with the OP.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

The photo of the silver SUV in mamattorney's post....

My bet is they are parking there to stay out of the sun. They chose the only shady spot and parked directly under the big tree.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

That would piss me off too. I'd be sorely tempted to put sprinklers out and turn them on everytime they parked there.

What irks me even more are our clueless neighbors and their friends who park across the street directly behind my driveway. Hello! We have two full size pick up trucks. I have enough trouble getting out of my driveway without an obstacle course at the end. They don't do it to be mean--they just don't think. I am always aware of where I am parking if it isn't in my driveway. I don't want someone else to back out of their driveway and smack into my vehicle.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Many towns have ordinances against blocking a driveway or parking where the mail carrier can't get to the mailbox.

If they just aren't thinking, back right up to their vehicle, & get out & run to their house & tell them they nearly gave you a heart attack, you didn't realize the car was there, etc.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

sweet tea - you could be right! I never thought of the shade factor. The neighbors next to the "street parking neighbor" - not pictured - also have large maple trees on the parkway, but they never park there. It could just be habit. It's unfortunate that both the "street parking neighbor" and I lost our giant parkway trees to Emerald Ash Borer within the last couple of years. My parkway still looks strange to me with that baby pear tree on it.

I can't remember whether they lived here when the big trees were present; they are fairly new neighbors.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Thank God on street parking is prohibited in my neighborhood.
You leave as much as an inch of tire on the street and you'll be ticketed asap.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Dktraham- I love the idea of the sprinkler. They make motion activated ones, that would ensure it would turn on whenever they parked (and left) their car or approached it.

Then you just plead ignorance on how to adjust it :)

I am kidding, of course. It is SO tempting but people like that seem to be really vindictive, unfortunately. I would strongly consider planting something thorny and sharp like rugosa roses there if there is no sidewalk though. And the bird-poop inducing ideas are good ones, too.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"I never thought of the shade factor. The neighbors next to the "street parking neighbor" - not pictured - also have large maple trees on the parkway, but they never park there"

I bet they chose the shade tree on the opposite side of the street because the angle of the sun keeps the car in the shade much longer vs the other tree. It makes a huge difference. 95% chance this is why they chose that parking spot. Watch the sun under both trees at different times of the day and you will see they chose the shadiest spot to park.

I wonder if this is the case with the OP's house/street parking spot also???? Thinking it might be. This would make logical sense.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I see that my little issue has ignited some passion on this forum.

Mamattorney, if I had that much front yard, it probably would be a non-issue. But I have only a small patch of yard, making the vehicle to my front window about 25 feet. A large vehicle parked in front can be seen from every vantage point, even from my back yard. So that's why it's annoying. And there's no way to plant anything to screen the view or drop sap (now that's a passive-aggressive move I'd love to make!). There are trees here and there but not one provides any shade on the street.

I'm starting to think Brickeyee could actually be my parking neighbor! But I'm glad for these posts because they represent the point of view of the offending parker: I'm doing nothing illegal, and therefore that's all that matters. And YOU are being inconsiderate of ME to dictate where I park.

The problem of the parking has gone away for now because I'm using the space; the bad neighbor relations will be around. The cookie thing if I choose to do it may or may not have any effect. I've kind of written these people off, and like I said, the wife would never look in my direction anyway. I do worry about the fallout with other neighbors. But I keep telling myself, I shouldn't have used the trash can but THEY went on the offensive by walking across the street to stick a note on it.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

OP, I really think you're right. While I don't know you, you come across in your posts as a sensitive, thoughtful person. I hope that those selfish neighbors stop it or move away and leave you in peace.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"OP, I really think you're right. While I don't know you, you come across in your posts as a sensitive, thoughtful person. I hope that those selfish neighbors stop it or move away and leave you in peace."

I agree!

I was jus' funnin' up there...

Keep parking on YOUR curb! Even if they are parking there to escape the sun-hail-rain-snow-kids-teenagers-inconvenience-blah-blah-blah it's legal - whatever... It's wrong!

It's invading your space, period, the end. Your not-so-nice-neighbors know this, they're just taking advantage "cuz yer new". That argument makes me think of organized crime, yikes!

You should let them know that daily parking on the curb in front of YOUR house, when they have ample, is way out of line, and do this in no uncertain terms. "What is a civil way to do this?", is the question.

Can't help you there, I have the absolute best neighbors, ever! I'd be perfectly fine with telling them..."You're not helping my curb appeal!" And then something stronger if that didn't get it, but I think it would.

Good luck!


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Simple and cheap solution, when their car is parked there on a nice hot day, turn on your sprinkler full blast.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Have you considered parking in front of their house? Just wondering what their reaction would be. :-)


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Wow! Wow!! I think you should reach out to the HOA first and ask after the neighbor and for some history of the culdesac and such. I would also put up a really tall bird feeder that would bend over the spot they put that car ;)

I sure would not make cookies for these folks. Passive / agressive action is not going to fix this issue. An open house when you have a day to meet and greet your neighbors might be cool, make cookies then and serve "refreshments" and "MEET" your neighbors. Some of them just might be allies! Best to you scarletshouse.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I agree with comments made by Brickeyee, Azzalea, Greg_2010...seems to me you're making a mountain out of a mole hill. Don't understand how your space is being invaded when this is a public street. They're not encroaching on your lawn, or in your driveway. Unless your driveway is being blocked. Then I might understand. You live in a city, there are cars...that's part of it. If you don't like cars on the street move out to the country and you'll have lots of your own private space.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Thank you all for your opinions and suggestions. I feel better that most people understand my take on it. But khinmn, it's not the issue of cars on the street. It's that after observing the parking etiquette for a year I see that only one homeowner picks someone else's house to park in front of and it's only my house and it's all the time. And there are plenty of others to choose from. In any case, my car is there now. My concern now is whether there will be any negative feelings from the other neighbors since they seem to be tight with many people here. I had an issue with one neighbor and it would be horrible if it causes bad relations with any others. I'm certainly not going to bring it up to anyone but he's angry and who knows how the story will be spun. That's a great suggestion, sasafras, I think I have to be a little more proactive in getting to know these folks.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Looking back to my teenage years, I guess I was guilty of this too. Our garage (not attached) was not used for parking. Driveway was reserved for the mortgage payers -- plus the minute I parked in the driveway, mom or dad would want to leave and I'd have to move my car. I didn't park right in front of our house because there was a large tree there and the birds kept pooping on my car. So,I just pulled passed our driveway to in front of the next door neighbors. Also, easier to turn around to leave the sub from there.

It very well could have bothered our neighbors -- as a teen, I would have had no idea.

Anyway, I am in the camp of -- there is zero you can do to stop it so stop letting it bother you.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

As a new neighbor, you are the outsider, and your passive aggressive behavior has done nothing to make you fit in better into the community. The behavior of the neighbor is probably long standing and accepted by the other members of the neighborhood as "the way it's always been" without it generating much thought at all because the house being parked in front of was not their own. You have to tread very lightly in those type of situations, and you haven't. You've put your foot right into it and attempting to change a long standing accepted custom. All you can do now is to either "go big" or "go home". Throw a "welcome to ME to the neighborhood" party for the whole neighborhood where you try to make fun of yourself for taking this on and make light of the situation to ease the tension, or you disappear and become the neighborhood mouse.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Please, do not obsess over that garbage can incident or denigrate yourself because you did it;
you were trying to solve your problem.

Do *not* "make fun of yourself".

You are not a figure of fun, you are not less than anyone else.

You don't like giant cars parked in front of your home;
nobody would.

Park *something* in that space.
If the HOA says it's against the rules, get them to put it in writing, move the vehicle, & insist that they make others obey the same rules.

I wish you the best.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"All you can do now is to either "go big" or "go home". Throw a "welcome to ME to the neighborhood" party for the whole neighborhood where you try to make fun of yourself for taking this on and make light of the situation to ease the tension, or you disappear and become the neighborhood mouse."

- This is an example of making a Himalaya out of a mole hill with imaginations and contradicts.

If as said, "The behavior of the neighbor is probably long standing and accepted by the other members of the neighborhood as "the way it's always been" without it generating much thought at all because the house being parked in front of was not their own.", then why do they care if the parking spot gets changed now?

OP, in reality, nowadays everyone is busy, rarely people has idle time watching neighbors. It is highly likely that no one would care, or even notice where the car has been/is parked.

Even if your bully neighbor bad mouth about you, what more could they say? Not every neighbor would agree or even care. Even if some neighbors agree, so what, you are not bothering anyone; it does not seem that you have been depending on any of your neighbors, so what would you lose?

It is the curb in front of your house, you do what you see fit. If your bully neighbors could set a standard, why cannot you start a new one? Park the your car in front of your house, after a while, it becomes a norm.

You may also want to social with neighbors; after all having good neighbors are part of the joy of owning a house in a neighborhood.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

i agree your neighbors are acting like asshats and it would irritate me too.
and i love the birdfeeder idea, excellent!


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

When we first purchased our home, 40 years ago, we were surprised to find the neighborhood kids would sleigh-ride down our hill and driveway. The kids would also walk through our property to go to the school bus stop. We did not have children at that time.

We didn't know anyone in the neighborhood but found the presence of the kids (all ages) bothersome. I approached the neighbor next-door and asked if they could ask the children not to use our property as a sled run, nor walk through to access the school bus. We knew the next-door neighbor had 4 children, but didn't know what they looked like. There were at least, 15 kids using our property.

The neighbor remarked that the kids in the neighborhood had always played on our property and permission was granted by the previous owners who had 4 kids. He then walked away in a huff.

We didn't know how to handle this. All the properties were acre zoned and no one had fences. There were plenty of shrubs and trees, so the properties were quite private...except for ours which had children of all ages coming over to play.

We tried talking to the children, but they ignored us. The school bus path was even more disturbing than the sleigh riding. They would walk through starting at 6am playing and laughing waiting for the school bus.

Long and short, we spoke to some other neighbors about the problem. They were more understanding and said they would speak to their kids and our next-door neighbor.

Most of the kids stopped using our property, except for the next-door neighbor. His boys continued coming over to play and to use the bus stop. They did not speak to us and it was a horrible few years. We gave up trying to stop them and eventually they moved away.

I guess my response is no help. We never found a way to work with this particular neighbor who seemed bent on insisting that his family had the right to use our place.

Jane


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

When we were in the process of buying a previous home, we thought the decrepit old pickup out front belonged to the homeowner. When we moved in, we realized it belonged to the guy across the street. They were very nice people, and his wife ran a home daycare out of the house, so she kept her driveway open for the kids to ride bikes in. He parked on our side so that parents could park in front of their house when dropping and picking up kids, but then he'd leave it there all the time. We didn't want to start anything, but a few times my husband came home with one of his work trucks for an early morning delivery, and the only open spot was right in front of the neighbor's house. So he parked there. Twice. After that, the neighbor always stayed on his side, and we never had to ask.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I swear I thought the OP was my across-the-street neighbor talking about me!

In my case, the reason why I parked my car in front of their house rather than my own is my city has "alternate parking" rules in effect which means that you have to park on a designated side of the road which alternates every other day. I have a one-car garage and a driveway which will fit one other car, with two working adults and two cars in the household. So, on days where i wasn't legally able to park on my side of the road and the car in the garage had to be the first car out in the morning, I parked across the street in front of my neighbor's house. This person is single, works long hours, has a three-car garage and only one car. I parked in front of their house MAYBE two times a week over the course of a couple weeks before they wrote a big, nasty note saying "PLEASE REFRAIN FROM PARKING IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE" and taping it to the driver-side window of my car (and yes, it was all-caps black sharpie on a piece of copy paper).

In my case, I have never ever parked in front of their house again (after sharing my story and the note with all of the other neighbors in the vicinity they were all appalled and a couple other neighbors said to please park in front of their house when needed). So, I have honored her request, but I will forever consider her a jerk and will never go out of my way to be nice nor helpful to her. Further, the other neighbors now view her as an unpleasant jerk that has nothing better to do with her life than tell other people what they can or can't do on public property.

Is it inconsiderate to park in front of someone else's house? Perhaps. But, I wouldn't get all bent out of shape and go picking a fight if I was walking through a door at a business with my hands full of bags or boxes and the person ahead of me didn't hold the door open for me.

Here's the beautifully ironic part--we all agree that these neighbors are within their rights to park on the street in front of the OP's house, but the OP says they are inconsiderate and "entitled"...but the OP is the one who feels she is "entitled" to someone else's consideration when she (he?) has done nothing at all to inspire that consideration in return. Hmmm.

In general, I would agree that it is neighborly to not park in front of someone else's house if you can avoid doing so, but causing fights and getting so bent out of shape that you go online to type up a rant about it? Gosh, get a hobby or something. Life is too short and too wonderful.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"I have a one-car garage and a driveway which will fit one other car, with two working adults and two cars in the household. So, on days where i wasn't legally able to park on my side of the road and the car in the garage had to be the first car out in the morning, I parked across the street in front of my neighbor's house. "

What most people do is rearrange the cars the night before.
It takes two minutes.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

except our choice was to keep the car of the person who has to leave the house at 4am in the garage so as not to add 30min of snow clearing and ice scraping in the mornings.

See...sometimes there's reasons, but honestly? There isn't a reason needed.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Revamp, your point is well taken but...I didn't come here to rant. I was looking for opinions on how I should have handled it and what to do now that a rift has occurred. I have to ask - if your neighbor had set out a trash can instead of putting a note on your car would that have invited a war with you? And why would you feel compelled to involve your other neighbors?


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"Revamp, your point is well taken but...I didn't come here to rant. I was looking for opinions on how I should have handled it and what to do now that a rift has occurred. I have to ask - if your neighbor had set out a trash can instead of putting a note on your car would that have invited a war with you? And why would you feel compelled to involve your other neighbors?"

Good questions. Setting out your trashcan honestly may or may not have made me realize that the point was to keep someone from parking there. If I did catch your drift, I still would have wondered at the passive aggressive nature of the move. Just as you (and others here) don't see the reason why someone would park in front of another's house--your neighbor may not understand why you don't want cars in front of your house.

Why did I involve other neighbors? Honestly, I was offended and felt humiliated that a neighbor, rather than coming over to speak to me and say, "Hey, I like to look out my window at the people walking by outside and I can't do that when your car is there--would you mind not parking in front of my house?" instead walked out and TAPED a rather sizable and embarrassing dictation to the window of my car giving me an order that wasn't their right to give. That and I had existing friendships with the other neighbors and so it naturally came up as a subject of conversation.

My advice would have been to speak to the person. God help me I don't know why people just can't chat with other people any more.

Congrats on your new home and I hope things even out with your neighbors.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"except our choice was to keep the car of the person who has to leave the house at 4am in the garage so as not to add 30min of snow clearing and ice scraping in the mornings.

See...sometimes there's reasons, but honestly? There isn't a reason needed."

30 minutes, really?
I can defrost the universe in 10, LOL.
There is a solution to every problem if one is inclined to solve them.

I get your point and just like to bicker, don't take it personally.
But I would assume these massive snow falls don't happen 365 days a year and you only park outside your driveway a few times a year?

Again, so happy my neighborhood does not allow on street parking. I drove down a non regulated residential street yesterday and had to weave in and out and wait for oncoming cars and the whole situation is one giant fugazi.

Homes and properties need adequate parking so that one's cars can remain on one's own property.
When I am king I shall make it so :)


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I've read this conversation with great interest, since I have my own parking problem. I live in a city neighborhood near a university and street parking is of course the norm and very, very tight. I live on a private street lined with townhomes and each resident has one assigned spot. Families with two cars, or guests, or tradespeople are supposed to hunt for street parking.

Here's my problem--I don't have a car, I bike or use public transport and all my neighbors seem to regard my spot as their back up. My next door neighbor does the right thing. She always calls me and asks if a visitor can use my spot, but everyone else just parks there without saying anything. Now, I do have guests come over and I want my spot free, and it really irks me to have to try to track the "free loader" down, so that my guest can park in my spot. I have written notes and left them on cars on occasion, but this is an ongoing issue. I could call the towing company, but I don't want to alienate my neighbors. When confronted, each and everyone says "oh, it was just for (insert time) and you never use it." Advice?


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Suzan30, your issue is much easier to deal with than the OP's since your neighbors are violating community regulations. Your success in fixing this problem lies in consistency. IMO, you need to leave a polite note on every car, every time for a month or so, keeping track of the license plates. After that, only the jerks will park in your spot and your notes can be worded stronger - you will have this car [insert license plate] towed.

The other option is to offer to rent the space to a neighbor and let your guests park on the street.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

A sense of humor about the situation will go a long way towards keeping the blood pressure under control. Thus my suggestion to the OP to throw a welcome to the neighborhood party and make light of the issue. It's not an earth shattering one, really. And the OP will have to live there for a long time with these neighbors. It's better to try to solve the relationship issue first and then even if the other issue remains status quo, at least the tension for the next 15 years won't be so unbearable that you hate to leave the house when they are out in the yard to stare at you. No one wants to live in a neighborhood where they are labeled the "crabby be-yatch who just moved in." So, figure out how to remove that label. A getting to know you party seems like a step in that right direction.

I just think it's sad that no one thinks that anyone needs to laugh at themselves over those passive aggressive tactics. It was a boneheaded move, and it's much better to find it funny and try another more direct and friendly approach than it is to plot the passive aggressive destruction of the universe through plant matter and bird poop. Not every single neighbor issue is worth going thermonuclear about and this is one of those not so big issues that the emotional response to is completely out of proportion to the actual problem.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

OP, I'm not sure where in the country you live but I have a feeling the people responding and not being symptathetic don't live anywhere near you nor I. I had a garage sale a few weekends ago and at first I moved my car over our property line to my neighbors (we all have about one acre so plenty of room) property line but still not in front of their house. I didn't feel "right" about it and they weren't home to ask (and we all get along great) so I moved it to the other side of our lot just out of respect for them.
I don't think "normal" people would think this type of behavior is ok. I also think that having the trash can there was a good hint without having to actually confront them about the problem and it should have been clue enough for them to change their behavior. For them to not see the issue with this (and the other posers here as well), is just dumbfounding to me.
Good luck and stand your ground.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

If you want to live somewhere that you can control the street parking, either buy into a privately held development or buy some land and create your own compound. You do not own the street. You do not own the view. You do not control the actions of others on the public street. Unless he is violating any city ordinances, he can park any darn place that's legal to do so. Including in front of anyone's home on any street that allows public parking. You also enjoy that same freedom of behavior and if you so choose to do so, you can park in front of HIS house every day.

And it's more than a little telling that you didn't feel comfortable enough in the rightness of your position that you felt you had to circumvent an actual conversation with the neighbor and resorted to petty games to stake your claim.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

The Supreme Court just ruled that an individual can legally LIE about being in the military, serving in combat, or being wounded in battle. THIS DOESN'T MAKE IT THE RIGHT THING TO DO, DOES IT?

The OP made it repeatedly clear that there are empty places to park ALL DOWN THE STREET ON BOTH SIDES, yet the inconsiderate neighbor parks large vehicles in front of her house DAILY. Come on! This is wrong on several levels. It is legal, but it is totally unnecessary.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"The OP made it repeatedly clear that there are empty places to park ALL DOWN THE STREET ON BOTH SIDES, yet the inconsiderate neighbor parks large vehicles in front of her house DAILY. Come on! This is wrong on several levels. It is legal, but it is totally unnecessary."

Well said. Some of the responses that are telling the OP to chill out are unnecessarily harsh. If these neighbors are infringing now, what are they capable of in the future?

If this were an issue for me, I'd do what sylviatexas suggested:

"The only way to keep them from using the street in front of your home instead of the street in front of their home is to actually park something there yourself."

I'd be inclined to ask a friend who drives a hummer to park there.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Yes, the neighbors are jerks, BUT the OP is NOT going to change them. The only thing she can change is her reaction to them. She can let it bother her, or let it go.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

or she can stop them from parking there-
see posts suggesting park an old car, park a hummer, etc.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Or the OP could contact the HOA and notify them that the neighbor is in violation of the HOA rules. Let the HOA deal with the problem.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Also following this discussion with interest. We don't have gutters on our street, so parking in front of a house means parking on the lawn--albeit technically 'right of way', visually it is each house's individual yard that one sees.

So, the family across from us has been doing a huge remodel of their home, in stages as they get the money, for several years. They routinely park in front of my house, on the grass-usually it is the husband's enormous pick up truck as well as various tradesmen and vendors because there are already trucks there and thus is no room in their torn up yard for more vehicles. Husband also will frequently come stand in our yard to gaze at his estate, the incredibly expanding 50s ranch house on 1/2 acre now turning into a suburban taj mahal. Sometimes he even brings a lawn chair so he can sit under our trees in the shade to bask.

We've never said anything. Our relationship is neighborly; cordial but not particularly close friends. And in truth I haven't really objected to the parking. Hey, it is a project and presumably some day it will be done.

However. This week for some reason my patience ran out. Forgot to mention that like the OP, these neighbors never, ever park in front of anyone else's house. I'm also now noticing that the grass where everyone parks is beginning to have dead patches, and on Monday a woman parked there and left the car for 8+ hours. Next day, I came home and there's another car in front of our house. I called across the street to a workman to ask if it belonged to him, and he responded no, it was lady of the house's mother. I didn't answer, just shrugged. 10 minutes later the car was moved. Oh, another nuance is that right now we have a boatload of cars of our own: two adult kids who each have a car, our cars and my father's vehicle while he is traveling. We don't park on the neighbor's property or anyone else's for that matter. Maybe that's another reason I'm getting annoyed; we do plenty of car shuffling so as not to bother anyone else. I"m not going to confront them but since we have to juggle cars around on our own property I may start leaving one of ours there as a marker.

No great advice here, but I do see both sides of this situation. It's not fun to feud with neighbors but for all those indignantly berating the OP, it's also not fun to have your area used, without your permission, by someone else on a regular basis. Balance in life is important and in our case the occasional incursion was tolerated with grace. At some point though-different for everyone-the patience gets exhausted and irritation creeps in. I don't blame the OP in the least and as others have said, she isn't in the wrong here at least in my also impinged upon view!


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Except that it isn't the OP's area. The street is public property.

Don't get me wrong--I'd be just as upset as the OP if someone continually parked their car in front of my house, and only my house, and not their own. It might be legal, but it sends a message.

But that is not the same thing as someone infringing on my property. The street is common to all the neighbors.

Since the OP lives in an HOA area where there are rules against parking in the street, I'm puzzled as to why she didn't just report the on-street parking to the HOA and let them handle it. If I were paying the fees to live where there was an HOA, I'd want to get what I'm paying for--and that includes getting neighbors to obey the rules that everyone else does.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"I bought a house in a typical suburban neighborhood less than a year ago. I haven't really gotten to know many people "
And yet your first interaction with your new neighbors after almost a year was back door confrontational. And when they attempted to explain the neighborhood customs to you, you got even more bent out of shape.

"I wouldn't involve the HOA as any rule-enforcing would affect the neighbors who use the street in front of their own homes. That would surely make me the neighborhood beeatch."

Too late on that count.

When home buying, did you not view this home at different hours to assess the neighborhood traffic patterns and dynamics? If you didn't, you should have and you should have noticed the cars parked on the street. If that bothered you, then you shouldn't have bought into this neighborhood. Moving in and not making an effort to be friendly and then trying to change the way everyone behaves is a sure fire recipe to be ostracized and disliked. You will have to try REALLY hard if you want to fit in here. Really hard. If you don't, that's fine too. Everyone appreciates the neighbor who goes about her business but doesn't stick her nose into other people's business. Except, that's what you did.

I'm afraid that if you want a different environment or a different label for yourself, you are going to have to move somewhere else.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Live wire...with all due respect, I disagree completely. It's not too late for her to get the HOA involved, if necessary. And you are jumping to conclussions that she will never fit in here. She may never get along with these particular neighbors but that does not mean it's true for the rest of the neighborhood. For all we know, these neighbors are routinely trouble makers and no one else can really stand them.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

To the OP -- report it to the HOA since if it is against deed restrictions. The HOA is responsible for enforcement.

Otherwise, I am dumbfounded by some of the responses. It may not be against a city ordinance to part in front of her house. But some people seem to be overlooking everything else that shows why this is a jerk move by the neighbor and is showing a total lack of consideration.

There are other places available to park. The neighbor could park in front of his house if he didn't want to use his own drive. To constantly park in front of someone else's home is just being a jerk. And to single out the OP's home to park in front of is probably because she is new to the neighborhood and he doesn't care about inconveniencing her or ruining her view of her home.

The criticism of OP is entirely unwarranted.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"The criticism of OP is entirely unwarranted." - I cannot agree more.

" If you want to live somewhere that you can control the street parking, either buy into a privately held development or buy some land and create your own compound."

"When home buying, did you not view this home at different hours to assess the neighborhood traffic patterns and dynamics? If you didn't, you should have and you should have noticed the cars parked on the street...."

The right question is to ask these free loader homeowners if they have thought about parking space for the number of cars they own before purchasing their houses? Instead, they are littering neighborhood streets with their extra cars, and inconveniencing other neighbors.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"The right question is to ask these free loader homeowners if they have thought about parking space for the number of cars they own before purchasing their houses? Instead, they are littering neighborhood streets with their extra cars, and inconveniencing other neighbors."

The neighbor has plenty of room--garage, driveway--to park his car. He just chooses to park in front of the OP's house. The HOA has regulations about parking. The HOA should have been informed. The problem would have been taken care of and the OP wouldn't have been accosted by the neighbor.

But legally, the guy can park wherever he wants on the street. The only thing that prevents him is the HOA regulation.

A person is not a "free loader" just because they park a car on the street.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

The HOA is obviously one in name only rather than enforcement as the OP says that "everyone" in the neighborhood parks on the street. Attempting to get the HOA involved after the custom has already been set by habit will do nothing but make the OP look even crabbier and will set the entire neighborhood against her, as she rightly observes.

If something is important to you, such as a tree ordinance prohibiting homeowners cutting down large old trees, or an ordinance preventing burning of trash, or one preventing parking on the street, then doing research about that issue on the front end of any multi thousand dollar dwelling purchase would be the smart thing to do. It's no use buying into a location and griping after the fact that the 50 foot tall sycamore tree on your neighbor's property gets cut down 4 months after you move in because they are tired of dealing with the leaves. The whole situation is beyond your control if that tree ordinance doesn't exist.

A home located on a street full of parked cars means that you are likely to have parked cars in front of your home should you buy into that neighborhood. What is so illogical about stating that? And, if that was an important consideration for the OP, what is wrong with suggesting that her research might have been a little lacking if she went ahead with the purchase not knowing this, or a little arrogant if she did know it and decided that she would be the one to change how the neighbors park their cars?

The only thing that can really change here is the OP's attitude towards the situation. She can chill out and hope things blow over and people forget about it. Or, she could decide to make a case about it to the HOA, she'll wish she would have moved out after everyone gets wind of that.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Scarletshouse, if the parked cars are as bothersome as you state then I would go the HOA route. You won't "chill out" about the situation as some have suggested, and quite frankly there is no reason why you should have to. Your right to enjoy your own property(which includes your view) is being disrupted. But doing nothing isn't going to get this resolved. Contact the HOA and ask them to send a letter or call your neighbors about their cars. That is what they are there for. (And no it is not to late to enforce an HOA ordinance) You are already at odds with the neighbors, so talking to them yourself will do no good. I wish you luck with your bad attitude neighbors. Stand your ground, don't let anyone push you around just because you are a single woman homeowner. NancyLouise


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"A home located on a street full of parked cars means that you are likely to have parked cars in front of your home should you buy into that neighborhood. What is so illogical about stating that?"

The OP isn't upset about a street full of parked cars; the issue is that there is NOT that situation, rather that there is one neighbor who consistently parks a car right in front of her house. So, I don't think the advice above applies in this situation.

And too, it is rather taking the spirit of blame the victim. I don't agree that the OP had the duty of ascertaining with 100% certainty that nobody was doing something that would bother her. Due diligence consisting of visiting at different times of day/week/season is one thing. But to assume that anybody who is annoyed by a neighbor's boorish behavior has only him/herself to blame is a bit of a stretch. In my opinion of course.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

The suggestion to check out the parking before buying is ridiculous. How would that be done? She would have to spend a few weeks, parked on the street, to realize the car parked in front of the house she was considering, didn't belong to the homeowner or their guest. How the heck would she know who the car belonged to until she moved in??

As in my situation, we bought our house in April. I would have had to wait until the following winter to realize the neighborhood kids used my property for their sleigh riding.

I would stick the garbage can in the parking spot or hang a bunch of bird-feeders above it.

Jane


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I continue to be amazed at how many people have commented. I thank you all for sharing your opinions. I can only hope that this issue doesn't become as divisive among my neighbors as it is on this board!


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

What "view" are we talking about anyway? It sounds like you live in a neighborhood where the only things you see outside the front of your home are other people, their homes, and what they're doing. I don't see this as a view getting bent out of shape over.

If you're this territorial, consider purchasing a home on some land where you have lots of space to claim next time, or a condo in an HOA where the rules are strict about what you can and can't do- not in a family friendly community like that. You're kinda ruining it for everyone.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

scarletshouse, if your neighbourhood is like this thread, you should get along well with the rest of your neighbours. Most of us *get* your situation and sympathize.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Actually, what I think this thread shows is that there is a wide variety of opinions that cross the spectrum from the neighbour doing nothing wrong to the neighbour being the anti-christ.

So the issue is not really who's right and who's wrong. It's a question of what the OP should do about it.
Personally, I think they are doing the right thing now by parking there themselves. The only other options are trying to talk to the neighbour which may solve problems or make it worse. Or rat them out to the HOA which may solve the parking problem but will definitely make the situation more tense since it'll be obvious who complained about them.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

My cousin bought a house next to a municipal park. She loved the view from the house into the green space and how peaceful and quiet it seemed. Unfortunately for her, she did the major viewings on a weekday when it wasn't being used all that much. She thought she could deal with the amount of cars parked on the street then and the minimal noise generated by the moms and their strollers visiting.

Fast forward to the first weekend after she had moved in and the parks department was holding a rugby tournament. A couple of hundred folks were visiting the park, and the streets surrounding it's entrance were covered with extra cars and the noise was pretty intense for most of the day. Her new to driving age kids couldn't find a place to park anywhere near the house now, as their driveway wasn't that large and was already full with the his and hers and weekend fun vehicles. (Yes, they had 6 cars they needed to park.) She couldn't get out of her drive, because now all of the legally parked vehicles left only a very narrow lane down the middle of the road that she couldn't back out into safely with her large SUV and poor driving skills.

She was furious. She called the police and complained. They came out and ticketed a few folks who weren't near enough the curb or who had parked too near a hydrant or other actual infractions. But, the majority of the cars were legally parked and there wasn't anything they could cite them for. She began to leave notes on the cars parked in front of her house asking people to not park there in the future as the space was needed for the occupants. People would look at the notes, and then at the 4 cars already in the drive and shake their head about the crazy lady or else get mad and wad up the note and throw it in her yard. After a particularly tense confrontation with a partially inebriated and muscled guy in a tank top, she quit the note thing. She'd just sit there on weekends in the front room and glare at the park visitors.

If she'd just visited the park on the weekend, she'd have seen the increased traffic and would have had an opportunity to not purchase the home. If she and her husband would eliminate one or two of the vehicles they owned, they would not have relied on street parking as part of their "right" of owning that home. If they'd bought another place with a garage and drive and wider street, it would have been less of an issue. If she'd planned her shopping trips around weekday times when she was free, she would have had easy egress with no issues. If she'd gotten out of the house and into the park and gotten to know some of the regular visitors on a one to one basis before leaving silly notes she might have had more success in requesting that they not park in front of her house.

Lots of "if" there. But, she chose to be mad about the whole thing and has not enjoyed living there for the last 10 years. Meanwhile, her kids love it. They've made friends with the neighbors a bit further out where they have to sometimes park on the weekends and they take part in some of the recreational activities in the park. The whole neighborhood ethos is more about walking to the 1/3 mile away shopping center than driving there, and the kids have benefited from the additional exercise and sociability.

If you are confronted with something that makes you angry that you cannot really change, then the only thing you CAN change is your response. You can stop being angry and miserable. You adapt to your surroundings rather than attempting to do a complete instant makeover on them.

People who keep trying to grow shade plants in full sun are inevitably disappointed that they can't. They'll either waste a whole lot of time and effort attempting to change something that can't be changed, or they'll move the plants to a shady spot. The third choice is small incremental changes over time. If you want to grow shade plants in the sunny front yard, you plant a tree and wait 5-10 years for it to produce enough shade to plant those shade plants.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Many years ago, my car was stolen;
it was recovered, but the seats had been removed, & I went to a dealership to have them replaced.

The insurance company paid for new seats, but the shop manager installed dirty, *broken* seats & blew me off when I complained.

I sent a certified letter to the owner, & they replaced the seats.

The guy I was dating at the time told me he was disappointed in my "attitude", that he understood that I hadn't gotten what I had wanted, but that that's life, & he expected me to "accept it with good grace".

To this day, I am flabbergasted that anyone would advise anyone to be a doormat.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Your insurance company paid for new seats. You were due new seats.

The OP didn't buy the the street when she bought the home. It doesn't belong to her. She doesn't have any control over it. It's not a private subdivision. It's not "being a doormat" to acquiesce to the fact that you don't control public property or the actions of others.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

If you are confronted with something that makes you angry that you cannot really change, then the only thing you CAN change is your response. You can stop being angry and miserable.

THIS


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

But she doesn't know that she can't change it now does she. She hasn't gone to the HOA as of yet from what I've read. Something I hope she does. NancyLouise


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Doormat? What about the people on the other side of this story?

The OP, instead of reaching out to their neighbors and talking to them like adults typically do, passively-aggressively tried to manipulate a situation in a way that wasn't constructive, honest, and straight forward. They created an unnecessary, awkward situation. Avoiding confrontation doesn't mean you do something like this.

I think this is the perfect example of what so many people are like today, and why we don't have the neighborhoods and social workings like we used to. Good or bad, it clearly doesn't get anything done or make anyone a better person.

That's my take on it anyway. But I wouldn't park unnecessarily in front of someone's home unless I had to... which is also why a lot of this doesn't make sense to me either.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

OP doesn't "own" the street;
that isn't the point.

Her neighbors have a garage & they have a curb in front of their own home, & they not only park in front of her house every day, *they reacted like jerks when she attempted to give them a hint rather than reporting them to the HOA*.

& people are jumping all over her for trying to deal with it discreetly without involving the HOA & without confronting the offending neighbors,
calling her "passive-aggressive" (what would you call the neighbors???),
criticizing her for not "accepting" a violation of HOA rules,
ridiculing her as "territorial" for not wanting big ole vehicles blocking her view *in a neighborhood in which big ole vehicles are not supposed to block anyone's view*.

& by the way, territorial isn't an irrational way to be;
when someone owns property, that property is that person's territory.
When someone buys property in an HOA neighborhood, that person's property rights include whatever the HOA rules say they include.

This homeowner's property rights include not having cars parked in front of her home.

The "legal right" to park on any street is tempered by other factors:
fire hydrants would be one example, & you'd be fined or have your auto towed by the city if you parked in front of a fire hydrant.
HOA rules would be another, & you'd be fined or I-don't-know what by the HOA if you park where the HOA says you cannot park.

These people do *not* have the right to park where they've been parking.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

The HOA cannot cherry pick who they cite and who they don't. If they cite one person for the behavior, they have to cite everyone in the neighborhood who engages in the behavior. That includes the OP who now is parking on the street. To do anything less makes the bylaw completely unenforceable, as now is the case. Anyone cited without the whole neighborhood included can merely point out that the bylaw is defacto moot since it's not being unilaterally applied. If it ended up in court, any lien or fine wouldn't be upheld as the bylaw wasn't really being enforced, just being used to hassle these particular neighbors.

How popular do you think the OP would be once 3/4 of the neighborhood received citations for on street parking? That's going from the frying pan into the fire. Better to leave well enough alone here.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

BTW, the OP is the one who originally used the term passive aggressive to describe her own behavior.

And a direct conversation need not be "confrontational". It's usually the best way to communicate if you want to be understood.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

The OP has stated that they didn't want to involve the HOA:

Covingtoncat, yes the HOA does address it, and I didn't have a chance to mention that before he stormed off. The rules state that a homeowner has to first use the garage, then the driveway before street parking. Their garage is used for storage, as is a lot of others. I wouldn't involve the HOA as any rule-enforcing would affect the neighbors who use the street in front of their own homes. That would surely make me the neighborhood beeatch.

This is another reason that she needs to change her outlook on this issue.
Otherwise, this is all that is happening:


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

OP, I just wanted to say I truly empathize with your situation of being one of the only childless families on the block. We also have no kids, and it's kind of amazing how many really intrusive things parents engage in or allow, either because they're just exhausted or because they're used to the high noise volume, general chaos, and above all making a lot of spatial compromises.

I love kids, and we did choose a family neighborhood -- we seem to be popular here because I make a mean chocolate cupcake and they flock to talk to us when we're out and about in our yard. But we don't love the inconsiderate things some families do without thinking, like the rude parking the OP's neighbor is doing -- I totally understand that your neighbors want to see what the children are up to in front of the house, for safety reasons, but if they wanted more free space for their kids to play there, they should have bought a home with a bigger front yard and/or no driveway in that area. I'd be willing to bet that their kitchen window overlooks the front of the house?

Since the issue has self-resolved by your working at home and using the spot yourself, I'd let it go for now. But I wanted to make sure you don't beat up on yourself and worry about gossip and "what the other neighbors think." Honestly -- who cares what they think? If parking dude is so rude as to stalk off in the middle of a conversation, I can guarantee that others have also realized he's no prize personality. I seriously doubt anyone is scarlet-lettering you as the neighborhood beeyatch.

As time goes on you will have more interactions with others around you that emerge naturally, and a slow sense of belonging will grow that will help reassure you. Start by mentally occupying your own space within the house and your garden, and after a bit that space might expand more and you'll be more comfortable overall and less sensitive to folks in your space.

People always forget how long it can take to really "own" a house emotionally, and we are all different in that regard. You just haven't had enough time yet. Give it more time and go easier on yourself.

Best of luck, and if all else fails, I can strongly recommend the healing power of chocolate cupcakes. :-)


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

As I said earlier, if OP decides not to report violation to HOA but parks in front of her house instead, then once she receives a notice of violation from HOA, she can correct her habits...
& notify HOA that she expects them to cite neighbors when they resume parking in front of her house.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

There's a couple of problems with what the op did. When you're the newby in the street, it's best to get to know people before you start making waves, why? because people are much more receptive when they at least know you a bit. Second, don't expect life with neighbours to be perfect and pick your battles wisely. I'm in a similar situation, small street frontage, the neighbours across the street park outside my house instead of in their double driveway which is usually empty. When our city has a scheduled junk pick up, these same neighbours toss their junk on top of ours on our street front so they don't have a mess outside their house, and I think that's really rude.

These people are the newbies in the street. They moved in two years ago and have never got to know any of the neighbours, many who've been here for years who all know each other. If they see you they just turn their noses up and look away, and don't smile or wave or say hello, I don't know what their issue is, but they do seem to be entitled. But I honestly couldnt't be bothered parking my car out on the street just to make a point, or confronting them about the junk. They are inconsiderate and unfriendly so I just ignore them as it doesn't truly affect my life. I am in no way a doormat when it counts, but I do pick my battles and I'm not going to waste my life arguing with rude people over every little wrong they do because as someone above said, life is too short and I won't waste my energy on that, because there are always going to be inconsiderate people around. OP I think you should just forget about it, you may never be friends with them, but there are worse things to deal with than cars parked outside your house, and in my case I just ignore these neighbours and their attitude and instead prefer to interact with the other good neighbours I have.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Wow, I normally scan threads on this forum & don't respond, but feel the need to weigh in. OP, your take on this is on target. Entitled behavior, by people who are above the social niceties the rest of us grew up with. If I park in front of my neighbor's house, I know I'm legally allowed to, but I value manners over brute force myself. Ideas may be floated where it's acceptable to do what the neighbors are doing, but as OP has described it, she is suffering from rude inconsiderate neighbors bordering on bullies. One of my next-door neighbors is not someone I would choose for a neighbor, but there they are. I'm sure they believe we love them, as we treat them very well. We've helped them many times, little favors up to lending cash. I'd never ask a neighbor for the help they've asked for, but we hate to see people in need & small favors go a long way to enjoying a happy home life. Neighbors are part of my home life, so I try to be a good one myself.

Another neighbor a few houses away lit into DH last year over something he didn't expect or deserve (well maybe, if Brickeye or his pals were involved). She stood on her sidewalk & spewed her hate at him, & being a gentleman, he let her go then briefly explained his side of her (insane) dispute & walked away. I could tell he was rattled & bothered by it, but he'd never embarrass someone to soothe his own ego or prove he was in the right.
I've watched the neighborhood since then & almost never see anyone stepping over to talk to her. There was a major crime earlier this year down the street, everyone was outside discussing it. When DH & I went out, they all came to our driveway to talk to us & ask us about the folks involved. Crazy lady looked really mad & stomped off.

I like the response of, keep your dignity OP. Remember, you can't fix rude. Legal rights aren't the only things that matter.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Wow does this post bring back memories! Our next-door neighbors did this very thing, except they were the newbies to the neighborhood. They have since moved away, and we aren't really disappointed.

We knew these folks were going to be different when they parked their moving truck in front of our house for a couple of days to unload. Huh? Why not park it in front of your own house! We said nothing about it though, even went over and welcomed them to the neighborhood.

But then it continued. Every day when the wife came home she parked in front of our house, not theirs. They had room in the driveway too, but nope, she parked in front of our house.

If I needed to mow the yard and trim/edge, I had to go over and ask them to move her car. I would drop hints and mention that street parking was generally frowned upon in the neighborhood, but that even though the HOA forbade it no one generally complained if you did it in front of your own house and only occasionally.

Didn't seem to matter - she still continued to park there. I did a couple of similar things as scarletshouse tried - left the trash can out there a couple days longer than normal after trash day, or parking my own car there instead. Given the opportunity though, she would just park back there when it became available. Finally one of the times I had to go over to ask her to move her car because she was on top of one of my sprinkler heads (yes she would pull up over the curb into my grass sometimes), I just asked her to stop. Basically to park in front of her own house if she wanted to street-park. She rather curtly moved her car and that was that.

She got the message but it always seemed as though if they were given a legit opportunity to do so after that, they would always park in front of our house. Guests coming over, moving furniture, cleaning out the garage, yardsale, etc - their cars went in front of our house.

We let them do that, as we knew it was temporary and apparently it made them feel better to step on us every now and then. Whatever, she and I had already had our conversation and the daily issue was settled. I always had a decent relationship with her husband, and he never parked over here, but she was always a bit aloof.

Basically, scarletshouse has a legitimate beef with these rude neighbors and should certainly keep up her own street parking. She's already spoken to them about it, so even though they know her feelings on the matter they want to still inconvenience her. Rude, rude, rude.

Hey, do you live in the South and are these folks "not from around here"? :) Sorry northernerns, just kidding!


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

OP,
I agree with you on this one, but your only sensible option is to get the HOA involved if you really want to change things. They are breakling the HOA covenants, and you have every right to expect the HOA to enforce it's rules. If you can not do this, or are unwilling to do this, then you have no other viable options.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I would park in front of their house if they park in front of my house.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I know how you feel. I have a neighbor that would do the same thing. He's macho, and from a culture that doesn't respect women. I asked him not to park there, and he had a fit. After several other problems with him, I told him, "You have no boundaries." He tries to boss me around and control me. I avoid he and his family. what worked for me was getting a German shepherd who is very territorial. If they park there, I let her out. (My front yard is fenced.) She barks at them. It works. It also helped to make friends with some other neighbors. I see them when I walk my dogs, and I give them fruits and vegetables from my garden. I hope things get better for you.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"Entitled behavior, by people who are above the social niceties the rest of us grew up with."

Who has "entitled behavior" here?

You think you are entitled to a parking space on the public street at a place of your choosing?

Oh the horror of it all.

At the first hint of rain, snow, or bad weather all the residents on the steep pipe-stems around me move to the public street.
I often have to actually park the wife's smaller car in the garage (she uses it all the time anyway) and my larger truck in the driveway, blocking her in.

It is just terrible.
If she wants to go out with her car we have to move mine.

Maybe I should put some orange safety cones in front of my house to reserve 'MY' parking space.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"If you're this territorial, consider purchasing a home on some land where you have lots of space to claim next time, or a condo in an HOA where the rules are strict about what you can and can't do- not in a family friendly community like that. You're kinda ruining it for everyone."

Your remark about 'ruining it for others' is lame.

The OP has an HOA. The neighbors are violating the rules.

Do you considerate it appropriate for people to lay down like doormats when OTHERS are the ones breaking the rules? She TRIED approaching them. They were JERKS.

I just love it when people who have good neighbors want to cut down those who don't. Regardless of whose fault it is......


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"The OP has an HOA. The neighbors are violating the rules. "

Then complain.

Failure to use the avenue available to you removes any right to complain.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"Failure to use the avenue available to you removes any right to complain."

Good grief.

In the real world, the one in which so many of us live, it's almost always preferable to work things out before resorting to "using the avenue available" if that avenue is likely to cause resentment or other ill feeling.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"In the real world, the one in which so many of us live, it's almost always preferable to work things out before resorting to "using the avenue available" if that avenue is likely to cause resentment or other ill feeling. "

Whining about it on a public board is not going to "work things out" now is it?

You either 'man up' nad have a talk with them, put up and shut up, or go to the HOA.
It is not all that complicated.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Your remark about 'ruining it for others' is lame.

The OP has an HOA. The neighbors are violating the rules.

Yeah, the OP has an HOA, but knows that there are other neighbors who are parking on the street (that aren't bothering her) that might be affected if there is a crackdown on people parking on the street.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

so did you contact your HOA
have others become as tired of the neighbors off-set parking as you did


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I was wondering the same thing loves2read. Now I am curious. TO OP - I would be so annoyed too. No other real help from me though. To RIP - OMG. I can not even imagine a neighbor putting a chair on my lawn to gaze at their house. I am cracking up. i guess I should be happy that the only thing that drives us nuts is usually barking dogs. That and the neighbors kids blasting music late in to the night while they are swimming. Luckily there is a for sale sign on both the houses with the dog and the late night swimmers.


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same issue as long ... but worse!

Hi, I am here looking for advice. My situation is similar to Long's situation. We are new too. The neighbour is next door, has her garbage bins right under the ground floor level bedrooms (on our 2 foot strip of land), has her snow removal people move the snow from her driveway to right up against our house (again, on the 2 foot strip of land)...

She parks her giant SUV in front our house though she has room in front of hers and a long private driveway that is empty, or has their other giant SUV in it.

One day she ran across our lawn, back and forth from her house, to load her SUV up, so I went outside with the dog and introduced myself. She said "hi", but did not come over to shake hands, and kept running across my lawn to load her car up, ignoring me!!! While I stood on my lawn. Because she parks there lots, the dog goes nuts when she trespasses like that which is how I knew someone was there.

More than anything, its the sense of entitlement and how I feel about it because if you feel something is wrong, it is. Its respect and she lacks respect for others. She has a private drive, we have a mutual drive with 2 neighbours sharing, and both of us on the mutual side manage to park in our garages and be polite with each other and feel good about each other.

The neighbour on her other side came over to welcome us, and it transpired that he has issues with her too. Legal issues. She built outbuildings right up against his property without proper city permitting (supposed to be a set back), and a sunroom that is higher than what is permitted as well as fencing higher than is permitted.

Here's what we're going to do:
-- My husband went over to her house, she did not answer, but he will persist until he can meet and greet her and if there is a husband, him too. My husband will advise the that our basement is wet on that side, so we will be asking her not to have her snow piled there.
--- Also, could she please move her garbage shed from under the bedroom window, and off our property.
---The car I told my husband to let it go... perhaps park his car in front of her house for a while (passive aggressive, but gets the message across).

If you experience this sort of entitled neighbour, it will bother you. We choose to believe it is simply an oversight on her part, but once challenged, further action is being proactively thoughtless.

In which case, my husband who is a city building official will have to look into her building infractions ;) And that will be costly. Not everyone has this ace up their sleeve, so I will ensure she is proactively being thoughtless before we use it. Since we've met other neighbours who also feel this way, if she has a loud party we could coordinate a call to the police to shut it down. I view this as society's checks and balances in play against a rude neighbour.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

The whole HOA thing has a decent chance of not working.

In many places the HOA does not own the streets, and if they do own the street they then become responsible for maintenance on the street.

Numerous HOAs in Virginia have found this out hard way.
They tried to assign parking spaces in front of townhouses.

ONLY if there is a divider (like a concrete sale in the roadbed between the parking and the street) and they assume all maintenance respsasability can they even assign spaces (essentially making them private).

One upscale community had all sorts of rules about an no boats on trailers or RVs parked on the streets.
They eventually grew tired of the cost of maintenance, including plowing and the liability.
The turned the main streets in the development over to the state (at a decent expanse to bring them up to the state's road requirements).
The restrictions instantly disappeared since the county had no such law, ad refused to pass one (this being the only group tat sought such a law).

All the boats and RVs moved from the garages (at least the ones tat had been able to even fit) to the now state owned streets.

Now you drive past the fancy entrance signage to streets lined with boats and and RVs.
Why pay for a large rental space for your RV in a private lot when the public street is available?


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Please don't read this as a recommendation by any means but I was guilty of doing this to another neighbor once many, many years ago. When he complained to me, it only made me more aggressive about doing it...often going out of my way to park TWO cars in front of their home all weekend long while we used our driveway for get-togethers with our neighbors. Was I being a jerk? Absolutely. But so was the guy the way he demanded me to move mine in the first place....he threatened me with "civil action" when I didn't move it, rather than just nicely ask me to refrain from doing it. So, knowing my rights, I fought back.

Moral to this story is that being nice always wins, right? Ummmm, no.

In response to my jerkish behavior, someone (likely him, but I could never prove it), took the initiative one night to lean several long nails against the front sides of my tires. On both vehicles. I jumped in my car that morning, drove away, and didn't notice anything until I came out from my office later that afternoon to find 4 flat tires. The other car was left alone for the day thankfully so no damage, although I did find the nails there when I got home.

Now you tell me...what are the odds of hitting 4 nails all on the same day and all 4 hitting JUST RIGHT to deflate the tire fully? Yup....not a coincidence.

I started parking in front of my house thereafter.

Moral of the story is....there are ways to get a jerk to behave themselves. But sometimes, you have to be one yourself.

Don't be a jerk though. That's just....not right.

This post was edited by Tony2Toes on Wed, Feb 20, 13 at 16:57


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

If her trash can is on your property, move it OFF your properyt and onto the neighbor's property. You are allowed to do this. Just move it the 2 ft to the other side. do this every week if you must.

Place markers of some sort on the property line. 2' tall sticks with tight string between them that acts as a fence so she will know where the property line is. So she won't place the trash can there again.

Do same for the snow..something so the snow removal guys will see where he property line is. put a small sign up during the big snows tht says 'no snow piles here' and maybe a property line marker the snow guys wil see. take the sign down when they are done shoveling.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Well, a guy in a snow plow in the middle of a storm isn't going to see a sign or even a low fence.

What the poster needs to do is a) tell the other homeowner where the property line is and tell them that their snow needs to stay on their side of the property line. (In many cases, neighbors don't quibble too much about a little snow shoved over the property line, but when it's getting that close to a building and could cause damage, then something needs to be said.) Then b) wait for the next storm and meet the neighbor's plow guy when he comes. Point out the property line and ask nicely that he keep the snow off your property. A) might help, but I suspect B) is what will work.

It bears repeating that as annoying as someone else's car parked in front of your house is, in most areas, it is perfectly legal. Unless there are HOA regulations about it, you have no legal recourse for cars parked in front of your house. So the best thing to do is either accept the cars in the sake of neighborly harmony, or ask nicely for the cars to be moved elsewhere, or keep your own cars parked there. But making a neighbor feud out of something that isn't a legal issue, but just your own feelings about the matter, well, you can do it, but in the long run, it might be better to be on good terms with the neighbors.

Coming from a city neighborhood where no one has off-street parking and finding a parking spot on your own block is a big deal, having someone else's car in front of my house is a daily happening, not anything to get upset over.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Do you have HOA restrictions that address street parking? In many subdivisions there are restrictions that say that you can't park for an extended time or overnight in the street (even your own car in front of your house)

If not, do the city ordinances address RV parking? I would check into that.

I agree with nicely asking them to quit trespassing. If they continue to trespass you might consult with an attorney regarding options.

In some instances, the best way to prevent neighbors from trespassing is to put up your own fence


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"In which case, my husband who is a city building official will have to look into her building infractions ;) Since we've met other neighbours who also feel this way, if she has a loud party we could coordinate a call to the police to shut it down."

Excellent. It is good that you have recourse for a rude neighbor as well as support from the others.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I dealt with something similar. We moved to Florida about 6 months ago. Our house was vacant for a few months. Shortly after moving in, we noticed a neighbor, across the street would blow their leaves onto our property. Their gardener would park his large truck in front of our house. I never met the neighbor, but would come home and find piles of leaves in front of our house.

We have a large oak tree on our property and actually thought it was our leaves. We'd rake and bag.

Long and short, I noticed this neighbor (who was not friendly) spending all day, from early morning to night sweeping leaves from his driveway. He'd pick up a leaf or two by hand.

The next week, I was home when their gardener was blowing. I could see the workers blowing the leaves across the street onto our property.

I walked out (I'm originally from NYC) stormed over to the homeowner and told him to tell his workers to not blow the leaves on my property. This smuck starts yelling at me, that he can't tell my leaves from his and my leaves were blowing on his property.

Anyway, a screaming match took place out in the street. The gardeners got nervous and started blowing the leaves off my property. I threatened to report the workers if they ever blew anything on my property and threatened the homeowner that I'd take him to court.

I'm now embarassed about how angry I got and how the whole thing turned out. But, what really worked was threatening the workers. They moved their truck and never park near our house, they are very careful to blow the leaves into large tarps and haul them away.

I had no intention of going to court as I didn't think it was possible. But I thought of installing cameras and going to the Town to see if they could help.

No more leaves or trucks. The neighbor stays far away from me and I ignore him. I think he thought I was a crazy lady!

Go after the snow plowers and tell them to never blow snow on your property. Take her garbage pails and move them each time she puts them there. Scare the snow-plowers with legal action. Believe me, they don't want trouble in a neighborhood.

Jane


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Once they fall onto your land they are your problem (who's tree they come from does not matter).

You do not get to low them back.

Just like if a branch falls.

it is your problem if it falls on your land, no matter who's tree it came from.

You might get an exception if you had provided written notice to the tree owner the tree was diseased or weakened and should be removed, but that is about it.

But you cannot blow YOUR problem onto the neighbors land.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

You are right brickeye. Furthermore, this neighbor lived across the street, one house to the left. He wasn't even directly across from me. The house directly across from him was a foreclosure and had been vacant for a long time. He didn't blow the leaves to that house because they'd blow back to his property. So, he blew them to ours. Our house is on a canopy street. There are oaks and Banyon trees at each house. Tons of leaves.

He had the nerve to tell me my leaves blew to his house. Jackass!

Jane


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Shepards hook... Giant Bird feeder... only put out right by car, when they park in front of your house :)


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

You could just buy a cheap car and a steering lock to ensure it cant be broken into to be moved. leave it outside your house which will stop them having the luxury of parking in front of your house, appreciate its not an ideal solution and it will cost you money but at least it will inconvenience them enough as they will have to start parking outside their own house or a neighbours house (which will upset their friends) and it will be more bearable knowing its your vehicle your looking at. Just ensure its taxed and insured to avoid them reporting you and causing grief that way.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I haven't read all the responses, and I don't mean that in any aggressive way, but I don't understand WHY it is inconsiderate to park in front of someone else's house if one doesn't need the space. Does it block your entrance? Do you need that space? Do you have visitors who are inconvenienced? These are reasons I can understand.

So, I don't understand the suggestions to buy a cheap car (you still have a car parked in front of your house that way).


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

"Here's what we're going to do:
--My husband will advise the that our basement is wet on that side, so we will be asking her not to have her snow piled there.
--- Also, could she please move her garbage shed from under the bedroom window, and off our property."

Only an idiot for a neighbor would locate a smelly garbage shed on someone else's property. Did you get a survey when you purchased the house?

If this were me (and I was absolutely sure the shed was on my property), I would tell the neighbors to have it gone by sundown or have it razed and hauled away. Then I'd put up a board fence to prevent the snow plow from being able to dump snow there.

I like the idea about buying a cheap car and keeping it permanently parked out front.



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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Wow, so many responses!

I think that there is one in every neighborhood. Someone who doesn't have a sense of their boundary or respect for their neighbor's space.

Yes the car parking is a small annoyance but, in its small way, demonstrates that. It is legal, but it still violates our sense of *our* space. I bet that the OP's neighbor wouldn't like having it done to him.

My neighbor is the same way. Not just with the car, but with everything in respect to our closely situated houses. When he decided to do some remodeling in his house, he piled the tear-out debris in front of my house--not a thing in front of his.
Once when I had finished filling my yard waste can with trimmings and weeds from the side yard, I pulled the heavy can to the curb--on my side of the property line (my cans are typically set on the other side of my property). When I got home from work on trash collection day, the can had been thrown to the back of the space next to his garage. And, the next time I saw him, he complained that "someone" had left their can on "his" corner. Where he places all his cans, (including on my side of the line).

When he picks up the many branches that his maple drops, he tosses them into my shrubs.
His diaper-filled, odorous trash cans are placed on the 1 foot between his garage and the property line. He must actually walk in my yard to access them. They are only a few feet away from my dining, living, and bedroom windows: in summer I can't have open windows because of the smell (and I prefer open to AC on all but the hottest days). The local raccoon discovered his cans and tip them over several times a week. He would go days without cleaning them up, and always leave a diaper or two in my shrubs. Didn't go buy new raccoon proof cans either.

When I asked him if he couldn't keep the cans in the garage as the previous neighbors had done, he said no, because it would make his garage smell.

I garden, and when I was interrupted while digging a new bed in my back yard for a week or two, he complained about how it looked. Yet, he allows weeds to go to seed and blow into my space, and piles junk into that strip along his garage: the view out my DR and LR. But, it is out of his sight, so...

These are annoyances to be sure. And yet, I don't dislike the couple. We have had many friendly conversations. Plus, I don't keep my yard in perfectly neat and organized condition all the time (okay, most of the time). So, I tried to not let his "quirks" get to me (but they did a little). I haven't complained to other neighbors.

However, they wanted to build a second story onto that garage with an addition on the back that would actually touch the property line. When he asked for my approval of this, I told him that I was not sure if I would want that big blank wall 11 feet from my house, especially if it would put my LR/DR/BR windows in permanent shade. It is not the norm for our neighborhood (how close our houses are isn't, either) I told the zoning board the same thing. I didn't outright oppose, I just wasn't sure about it.

They did not get approved -- turns out the state fire laws wouldn't permit it. The old construction from the 1940s could stay inside the now-required setback, but they couldn't add more, and especially not vents, overhangs and windows.

But they blame me. They are no longer speaking to me. They have told the other young families on the block that I am the reason they can't stay where they hoped to raise their children. And, they are moving.

I am not sure that I am sorry...


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Since my thread from a year ago was resurrected, I thought I'd provide an update. The neighbors most always park in front of their own property now. I mostly use my garage. The occasional guest of a neighbor, or very rarely, another neighbor, will park in front of my house. But that is certainly reasonable and doesn't bother me at all. The point is that no one considers my frontage their regular spot, and that's just what I wanted. There hasn't been a bit of fallout from the other neighbors, who are pretty friendly folks. As for the original parkers, we aren't friendly, but we haven't had any other issues at all. Life is pretty good!

I did enjoy hearing all the different points of view. Raee, your neighbor sounds awful - hope they have a fast sale.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

I do not understand why anyone attacked you for your very reasonable feelings. As someone said, "just because it is legal does not make it the right thing to do". We recently moved to the country, where we have 3 acres, so no parking issues. Where we lived before, we were in a neighborhood. Generally, people only parked in front of other homes if they were having a garage sale, a party, or, when the school down the block was having an event. There were no laws which prohibited parking in front of someone else's home, it is just being a good neighbor to respect that. It is difficult to mow your lawn if someone is parked very close.i would be annoyed if someone did that, but, like you, I would try to deal with it in a non-combative way. Happy to hear the issue has largely been put to rest.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

Yesterday's newspaper had an "Ask Amy" column reminiscent of this thread. I guess it's not a unique problem.

Dear Amy:
I wonder about the etiquette of parking. I live in a small town that does not have a lot of traffic.

My neighbor--who lives across the street from me--parks in front of my house all the time. She has only one vehicle, as well as a driveway, and there is never anyone parked in front of her house.

It annoys me that she is always there. I know this sounds petty, and I don't know why it bugs me so much, but when I sit out on my front porch, I don't want to have to stare at her car.

Should I mention to her that it bothers me, or will that make me seem like a weirdo?

Amy's response:
This annoys you because...it's annoying. Most of us would rather sit peacefully on our porch admiring the passing scene, rather than our neighbor's Chrysler LeBaron.

Your neighbor parks in front of your house because she doesn't enjoy the view (of her car) when she parks in front of her own. She may also find it challenging to back out of her driveway onto the street.

You are not a weirdo. Approach her, introduce yourself and say, "Could you park in your driveway or in front of your house? That way I could see more of the street from my porch. I appreciate it very much."

You cannot force her to comply, but you do have to be brave enough to ask for what you want.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

scarletshouse, I am happy for you that things seemed to have had a peaceful and satisfactory outcome.

I, too, have been going through a similar situation in a neighborhood with street parking only. However, everyone respects each others space in front of their house. But it seems the front of my house was picked, by everyone, as the overflow parking for their excess cars--until I expressed how I felt about it. Most respected how I felt about it and made a true effort to not park in front of my house--especially if I was not home.

Parking became a real issue when next door neighbors' children began to drive and got their own cars. It started with the oldest parking in front of my house often enough that I'd be left out of parking in front of my house. Like you, scarletshouse, what bothered me was that they decided that I didn't deserve the consideration they gave everyone else by not parking in front of anyone else's house. Their friends have been trained to come and park in front of my house, even when there's space to park in front of theirs, or across the street, or anywhere closer to their house.

So, one day I told the oldest (17 at the time) to please park in front of her house. The parents decided to declare war by parking their full size van and pick-up truck in front of my house that very weekend and not move them.This started a sort of 1800's land claiming. Since the street is public and they have more cars, they figured they would claim it and bully me out of the space--the space in front of my house!!! They not only wanted to park in front of my house but wanted me to move over so that they can all park together close to their house (now 2 sedans, van and pick up truck). Everyone in the neighborhood can fit three sedans in front of their house, within property lines.

So what they did was use the space available in front of my house, the one closest to their house and stack their cars from there in a way that their car (in front of my house) closest to my car (brand new, really nice car) ends up with a total of, maybe, a foot of space to pull in and pull out of the spot, making it very possible to swipe my car every time they park it or pull out. I guess they figured this would break me and would make me cede the whole front of my house for them to park. At some point they'd left some deep scratches on the bumper of my car. I courteously asked the dad, since the culprit wasn't home, to ask her to be careful and keep her distance. I work from home, my car normally sits there, so they should be responsible for keeping proper distance when they come home and park.

I didn't move my car, as they would've hoped. To deter them from doing any more damage to my car, even had to get surveillance cameras. Their behavior just got worse and no amount of diplomacy improved things. In fact, every time I tried to, diplomatically, settle things, they would act out.

Now, four years later, I'd truly had it, so I installed a driveway to have peace of mind with my car and be able to come home to my own parking space, on my property. I installed the driveway right in the spot they had claimed. Logistically that was the best place for my driveway, so that I wouldn't disturb any underground pipes during excavation, and I certainly didn't feel bad that it was right where they preferred to park.

Their hostility is ongoing, as they truly believe I took "their" spot. They park on the other side of my driveway, directly in front of my house...and you might guess the behavior they've displayed to get back at me for taking "their" space. I've already called the cops twice.

I've changed the rules of their game but, sadly enough, I don't see this ending, they keep pushing the boundaries at every turn.

Most of the neighbors, including them, have lived here for over 20 years and even though it's clear who the aggressor is, they seem to be on their side, as everyone has stopped talking to me or even looking in my direction. So I guess, I'm being ostracized.

Someone here said something along the lines of "asking nicely will get you further" Well, that doesn't work with jerks. I repeatedly made attempts to keep things peaceful, even though I was the one being attacked, while they were still getting what they wanted. I must admit I could've moved back to give them more room but 1) they were nasty about the whole thing 2) no amount of room was enough for them 3) I, too, could park anywhere on the "public" street, but, at least, I chose to do it within the property boundaries of my house. I became as inconsiderate with them as they were with me--unlike them, without going beyond the boundaries of my property.

Every time I try to figure out why people behave this way, all I can think of is a statement I read in another forum:

"The freedom we have in the US allows us a TREMENDOUS ability to be jerks to other people."

Sorry for the long post. Just wanted to share my experience and encourage you to use your HOA. How I wish I had that recourse. HOA's, though sometimes a pain for being strict, normally are good at keeping everything nice and everyone in check.


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RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

scarletshouse, I am happy for you that things seemed to have had a peaceful and satisfactory outcome.

I, too, have been going through a similar situation in a neighborhood with street parking only. However, everyone respects each others space in front of their house. But it seems the front of my house was picked, by everyone, as the overflow parking for their excess cars--until I expressed how I felt about it. Most respected how I felt about it and made a true effort to not park in front of my house--especially if I was not home.

Parking became a real issue when next door neighbors' children began to drive and got their own cars. It started with the oldest parking in front of my house often enough that I'd be left out of parking in front of my house. Like you, scarletshouse, what bothered me was that they decided that I didn't deserve the consideration they gave everyone else by not parking in front of anyone else's house. Their friends have been trained to come and park in front of my house, even when there's space to park in front of theirs, or across the street, or anywhere closer to their house.

So, one day I told the oldest (17 at the time) to please park in front of her house. The parents decided to declare war by parking their full size van and pick-up truck in front of my house that very weekend and not move them.This started a sort of 1800's land claiming. Since the street is public and they have more cars, they figured they would claim it and bully me out of the space--the space in front of my house!!! They not only wanted to park in front of my house but wanted me to move over so that they can all park together close to their house (now 2 sedans, van and pick up truck). Everyone in the neighborhood can fit three sedans in front of their house, within property lines.

So what they did was use the space available in front of my house, the one closest to their house and stack their cars from there in a way that their car (in front of my house) closest to my car (brand new, really nice car) ends up with a total of, maybe, a foot of space to pull in and pull out of the spot, making it very possible to swipe my car every time they park it or pull out. I guess they figured this would break me and would make me cede the whole front of my house for them to park. At some point they'd left some deep scratches on the bumper of my car. I courteously asked the dad, since the culprit wasn't home, to ask her to be careful and keep her distance. I work from home, my car normally sits there, so they should be responsible for keeping proper distance when they come home and park.

I didn't move my car, as they would've hoped. To deter them from doing any more damage to my car, even had to get surveillance cameras. Their behavior just got worse and no amount of diplomacy improved things. In fact, every time I tried to, diplomatically, settle things, they would act out.

Now, four years later, I'd truly had it, so I installed a driveway to have peace of mind with my car and be able to come home to my own parking space, on my property. I installed the driveway right in the spot they had claimed. Logistically that was the best place for my driveway, so that I wouldn't disturb any underground pipes during excavation, and I certainly didn't feel bad that it was right where they preferred to park.

Their hostility is ongoing, as they truly believe I took "their" spot. They park on the other side of my driveway, directly in front of my house...and you might guess the behavior they've displayed to get back at me for taking "their" space. I've already called the cops twice.

I've changed the rules of their game but, sadly enough, I don't see this ending, they keep pushing the boundaries at every turn.

Most of the neighbors, including them, have lived here for over 20 years and even though it's clear who the aggressor is, they seem to be on their side, as everyone has stopped talking to me or even looking in my direction. So I guess, I'm being ostracized.

Someone here said something along the lines of "asking nicely will get you further" Well, that doesn't work with jerks. I repeatedly made attempts to keep things peaceful, even though I was the one being attacked, while they were still getting what they wanted. I must admit I could've moved back to give them more room but 1) they were nasty about the whole thing 2) no amount of room was enough for them 3) I, too, could park anywhere on the "public" street, but, at least, I chose to do it within the property boundaries of my house. I became as inconsiderate with them as they were with me--unlike them, without going beyond the boundaries of my property.

Every time I try to figure out why people behave this way, all I can think of is a statement I read in another forum:

"The freedom we have in the US allows us a TREMENDOUS ability to be jerks to other people."

Sorry for the long post. Just wanted to share my experience and encourage you to use your HOA. How I wish I had that recourse. HOA's, though sometimes a pain for being strict, normally are good at keeping everything nice and everyone in check.


 o
RE: New to neighborhood, already neighbor problems (LONG)

This is a great old thread. I would never buy a house with parking on my side of the street. When I was a kid I was charged with cleaning up the trash that parkers threw on our tree lawn. Taught me a valuable lesson.


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