Be as positive about it as you can and do not spend any energy or time thinking about what could go wrong. Not like you can do much about it at this point any way, right? Instead, keep planning for the new house and focus on the expectation that the house you have will sell quickly. Keep imagining it all done and working out the way you want it to. You're already imagining -- just about what could go wrong. Why not switch the vibration to something much more fun, like looking forward to moving into the new house and quit making yourself sick. Worrying is a tough habit to break, trust me I understand. :D Ultimately though, worrying does nothing to help move you towards what you really want, it just saps energy from what you do want.

Please go to the 'Smaller Homes' forum and read "Score!" - it may help you feel better.

You bought at 210 and put 40 in = 250. Your are already taking a loss at 239 (- 5% commission) yet say your comfortable "taking the price down till it sells"

Have you really sat down and thought about what the bottom number is you can accept for your current house and still make it comfortably with your new house? I think if you really crunch some numbers, real hard worst case scenario numbers we have to sell this house now numbers even if we are giving it away numbers, and they seem like something you can live with - you should be able to sleep better. They say many markets are at 2005 prices, which means you could end up selling for? What if you sell for 210,000? Essentially what you bought it for? (-commission)
Also - should this job not continue to pan out - is the job market in the new location better than in the location your leaving? Or would you regret you hadn't stayed and looked harder for a job in your current location?

I picked up stakes 4.5 years ago and left Michigan which given the job climate probably seems fairly smart. But I'm really homesick. I seeall the people I knew that stayed and how they are struggling, downsizing etc. but still staying "home". Sometimes I'm not sure I made the right decision.

I guess I also wonder about the great deal on the house. Foreclosures here aren't usually sold at fire sale prices, banks want to get what they are owed. Your bank is willing to loan you money, IF the new house is appraised at that price. Who assessed it at 350,000? What price didn't it sell at? I'm not sure the assessment is something to bank on. I'd get an appraisal, the bank will do one in any event. Perhaps it is the golden bb, perhaps not.

I didn't really go easy on you liked you ask and I hope all works out for you.
But I think if you think hard(er) and come up with decisions based on seriously hard facts you'll sleep better.

If you want to sell the house quickly, I don't know why you are playing the "set the price high and then knock it down every two weeks" game. Price it at or below the low end of your comps, now! Don't follow the market down, down, down without ever being competitive.

I understand exactly. My children would lose their minds if they couldn't see daddy for long stretches at a time. They do alright when he travels for business, but even then they would rather have him home. Your family's emotional well-being comes first, period.
I also fully understand not wanting a 1000 square foot home. I know that many people are very happy in that size home, and there are many benefits to it. However, we (family of four) just rented a home for the last six months that was 975 square feet. It was tough. We literally couldn't get away from each other. There was zero privacy, and the bathroom was so small I banged my elbows on the wall when I fixed my daughter's hair!
I also totally agree with Clemrick. Price it very very very well the first time, and then be willing to negotiate after that. We had our price too high at first, and after 5 months, two substantial price drops and a lot of negotiating we finally got it sold. Fortunately, we put it on the market in November, so we had it priced below comps for the spring market and it sold. Don't lose what's left of the selling season.
Best of luck to you and your family in your new home!
PS Is there any possibility of renting something until you are sure your husband likes his new job? We just went through that - bought a house in the new state and realized after two months that we wanted to be back home. We stayed a total of four months....

If you are 100% serious about buying this new house and 100% committed to selling the old one you need to get serious about your strategy.
I agree- sit down and do a thorough assessment of the state of your affairs and the lowest possible price you can sell for and still make the new place happen. Make allowances for unforseen expenses for prepping and staging the old place as well as getting the new one ready to move into.
Has the new house been inspected? Foreclosures can hold some nasty surprises as far as the budget goes.

Then price the old house to sell, and I mean price it aggressively. Prep your little heart out and leave no area to chance.

It sounds to me that by buying before you have even begun to prep for selling you are setting yourself up for worlds of stress and misery. The old house could sit on the market for a year- could you handle that financially?

At this point you are in the stage where rationalizing scenarios to justify moving ahead could really color your judgement. I would really spend at least a week thinking very realistically about the real truth of the matter and proceed with caution. Literally everything is going to cost more than you think it is.

Thanks so much all for your fast feedback-and for taking it easy on me. I am going to try to answer all of your questions-

funcolors-during the day, when I look at pictures of the new house, and compare it to others in the area that are for sale, I know deep down this is the right choice. It is a very nice house with so many possibilities. Some paint, and elbow grease will make the home truly ours-barring any nasty surprises from the home inspection. My problem is at night when I lay in bed thinking about everything. Thanks for the really nice thoughts-I am trying to switch my thinking topositive thoughts.

Lucy-I am going to check that out right after I leave here. Thanks for the heads up.

Marys1000-When we purchased this house, the people who owned it were divorcing, and the house had been standing empty for months. The few comps in the area were selling for about 30,000 more then this one, we put in all new appliances which are staying, we fenced in the yard to the tune of 8,000.00, and are including a hot tub on the patio that we purchased, along with a wooden swingset that set us back 1500. None of these things were here when we purchased it. Thats besides the paint, the new tin backsplash we installed in the kitchen, the new ceramic floor in the kitchen, and landscaping. I know you arent supposed to look at what you spent when placing a house on the market-that its all about the comps. We are already taking a huge loss-when you consider all the costs involved with selling. The commission, etc. In order to cover the FHA loan on the new house, we cant sell for less then 227,000.

The home is appraising for tax purposes at 209,700, extra building features (I guess the hottib) at 2600, and the land is assessed at 1142,300 for a total of 354,600.In 2002, it sold for 293,000, in 2004, 349,900-those are the people that redid the garage, then lost the house.

Before he took the job 700 miles away, he applied for every position in his field within an hour an a half away. We even planned on him taking a small apartment and coming home on weekends-which would have been fine for us. Unfortunately, there are people who are just out of school, and way younger then my husband who can afford tomake half of what my husband does after 25 years in the field. I should also mention that we have no friends or family where we currently live-nothing at all that ties us here.
Clemrick-You are right-but I figure, that starting at as advised at 239,900. someone may come in with a bid close to the 227,000 that we need to pay off the FHA. It is so important to us to be able to pay off the fha right away so we arent saddled with that. but on the other hand, we are spending 1300 just for the mortgage and taxes for the current house, plus I need to pay the landscaper and electric, etc.

SDS1234-We would rather not rent-but if this foreclosure doesnt work out, I think thats what we will have to do-I just hope that we end up purchasing in the town we rent so we dont have to pull the kids out of yet another school.

Cearbhaill-I really am trying to just get out from under this mess with enough to pay off the fha-we are already taking so many losses on this house-we thought it was going to be our forever home at the time we bought it, and really went all out making it perfect. We plan to stage it-I have a pod coming out this week to get rid of most of our stuff and put it in storage so we can open things up and really show off the large rooms in this house.

Thanks all for your advice and suggestions-I know this is long-but I tried not to leave out any of the pertinent information. I completely respect all of your thoughts and opinions on this, as I have lurked here for a long time-but never had need to post.

edited to add-hubby is 400 miles away-7 hours..not 700 miles. Sorry-just noticed the error. Also when I answered Mary, and was talking about the appraisal, I was referring to the new home not the one I am trying to sell. I couldnt figure out how to edit the post itself.

You need to move to the new town. That's settled!

It seems to me some of the stress comes from buying the large home in the new town at the top of your comfort level. I feel worried when you tell us there are other foreclosed homes in the area -- and that the bank snapped up your $250K offer immediately. (It's the wise thing for them to do, but bankers aren't always that smart! LOL)

What if you did buy a 1000 sq ft home in the new city? It wouldn't be *forever*. Would the lesser risk save you from an ulcer? You could also rent in the new town while this RE mess simmers down in a couple of years. Two adults and two *small* children can live in 1000 sq ft!

Could you rent your current house for enough to cover renting in the new town? (This would be my last choice.)

How bad is the RE market in both your current town and the new town? If the situation is equal in both towns, you are buying and selling in the same market, which should be fine.

Finally, set the price on your current home at slightly above what you NEED to get; sell it; move on.

BTW, where do you husband's fellow workers live?

Sounds like you and your agent are not quite sure of the current market value for the home you are selling. Hire a certified appraiser Monday morning. You don't want to price it too high and then keep lowering the price. This is stressful and also could cause you to sell at a lower price in the end and be on the market longer versus if you priced correctly to begin with. A $300 appraisal will be the answer you need.

Your market price has nothing to do with how much money you paid or how much money you put into the place. The $1500 play set will be worthless for folks with no kids. Actually, they might want it out of there. I would. The fence is nice but you probably won't get a dime more because of the fence, since many buyers don't care if there is a fence or not.

Hopefully you can sell it for what you need to get out of it so you can buy the other home. Be as aggressive as possible on pricing the home you are selling (go as low as you can right from the start, get great photos, top notch description which shows off the strong points, etc).

Sending best wishes your way. Don't worry, it will all work out in the end.

Sounds like you and your agent are not quite sure of the current market value for the home you are selling. Hire a certified appraiser Monday morning. You don't want to price it too high and then keep lowering the price. This is stressful and also could cause you to sell at a lower price in the end and be on the market longer versus if you priced correctly to begin with. A $300 appraisal will be the answer you need.

Your market price has nothing to do with how much money you paid or how much money you put into the place. The $1500 play set will be worthless for folks with no kids. Actually, they might want it out of there. I would. The fence is nice but you probably won't get a dime more because of the fence, since many buyers don't care if there is a fence or not.

Hopefully you can sell it for what you need to get out of it so you can buy the other home. Be as aggressive as possible on pricing the home you are selling (go as low as you can right from the start, get great photos, top notch description which shows off the strong points, etc).

Sending best wishes your way. Don't worry, it will all work out in the end.

You did the right thing.
Your motivation of keeping your young family together in one nest is the right thing to do.

Don't let the news scare you. Obviously home sales are slow but there are homes that sell. If I was you I would put a great deal into staging your home for sale (I watch HGTV alot!), cleaning & tackling repair jobs. Pack up the majority of your kids' toys. They will be like new toys later on when you unpack them at the new house.

I forget the name of the motivational guy (Anthony Robbins?) but one very good point he makes is that when you set your mind on a goal, you have no other choice but to attain it. (I'm paraphrasing, obviously). But what he means is that it is sometimes very difficult to make a decision. But when you DO make a concrete decision your plan will fall into place. i.e. if you're wishy-washy about EXACTLY what you want to do, you are going to zig when you should zag. So commit to keeping your family under one roof, selling your current home and moving to the dream home that you are set on. Good luck and start making and working towards those goals, with nothing in the way to stop you.

You are not going to be sick. You are going to sleep well at night because during your waking hours you have this honest work in front of you that you are capable of doing.

Hi Chisue- The 1000 sq ft homes are priced between 225,000-250,000. The only difference would be that I would have sold this house before purchasing one of those. The plan was that I would stay here with the kids till this house sold-yes I miss hubby dearly-and my kids desperately miss him-and there is really other issues surrounding that-my children are adopted-my daughter has severe attachment issues due to a year she spent in foster care-and hubby is the person she is attached to. They have been ours for 4 years now, and it is hard for her to get close to anyone in general. Her and hubby are like peas in a pod. Not only is it so hard to see her going through this, but she has been acting out alot due to the seperation.

I *probably could rent this house for pretty close to what the expenses are to carry it-but being out of town I am so afraid of what may happen to it-even with someone keeping an eye-basically I would need to use an agency as we have no friends or family to watch what goes on here.

I do agree with you about setting the price slightly above what I need. Thats basically the number I am playing with-I figure if I need 227,000, pricing between 229,000-234,900 and hoping for the best would be beneficial-and that is kind of where Im at now. I will talk to the agent-although Im pretty sure she wont agree-ultimately of course its my decision-not hers.

She is basing the price on comps that just sold in the area. There are only 2 other homes for sale in my neighborhood. One is ridiculously priced at 550,000-a charming older stone home-with no updates, needs paint and cleaning, etc-and it is across the street from the elementary school, with the driveway to the schoolbus parkinglot running right alongside their house. The other is similar to mine, right around the corner-however mine has a family room and a 4 seasons room that theirs doesnt have-so mine is 400 sq ft larger-they are including older appliances with the sale-mine are new, theres no fence, no landscaping, and there are no pictures at all online accept the outside of the home. Theirs was listed at 244,900 for the last 3 months, they just took the price down last week to 219,900. They are my competition.

My husbands field is largely female-about 90% female. All of his coworkers are either married women who have husbands bringing in a salary-or single women who either live at home with their parents-or rent a little something. I am a stay at home mom-my kids need more care then most as they are both special needs.

Hi Sweettea-Thanks so much for the good wishes. I cant imagine that the people that are going to be purchasing a home here wouldn't have young children. The main reason the area I am in is desirable is because the school district-mainly the elementary school-is the best in the county. There are many senior citizen developements around here-not enough single family homes. As of now, the school is allowing children from other districts to attend-however we recently recieved notice that the school is beginning to get overcrowded, and they are beginning next year to start sending the children from other districts back to where their supposed to be-so the only way to guarantee a spot for their children is by purchasing a home here. In the listing the broker is going to make sure to highlight the fact that this home is in that district.

I guess after laying it all out like this-and answering everyones questions-I am way ahead of where I was last night-and for the last week or so. I think I am going to price the house at 234,900-and if I recieve an offer for 225,000 or more-I will jump on it. If it doesnt sell in the next month or so-I will have to deal with the fact that I will be paying off the FHA partly on my own-and bring the house down accordingly.

I keep looking at other homes for sale in the neighborhoods we need to be in, nothing even comes close. My guess is the bank has tons and tons of foreclosures everywhere, and they need to get what they can. I have a very good inspector scheduled to check out the home, and I am paying to have everything imaginable tested-and I am also having a seperate well company to come inspect the well. We also hired an attorney we feel very comfortable with to make sure everything is handled right-even though the title company is handling the closing-my attorney will be there as well.
I can't thank everyone who answered so far enough for your thoughts and priceless advice. Please feel free to keep posting here with thoughts and advice-it is greatly appreciated!

Hi Neesie-thanks for the very motivational post. That is exactly what Im doing-the pod is coming this week, and I am getting rid of just about everything I dont need straight into storage. I hired a lady to come in every 2 weeks to clean-and there will be fresh flowers on my kitchen table at all times....I plan to get the kids, and my dog in the car with every showing and disappear till they are gone-and I made sure to buy annuals to fill in the areas where the perennials we planted last year havent quite filled in. I am on a mission to get rid of this house-and I hope that whoever does buy it will love it as much as we do-and will take care of all the beautiful things we planted last spring and summer....

Shiningonme, I think you have good plans for moving forward, both with the new home and selling your current home. How lucky and great that you found the forceclosure! Sometimes life events do work out the way we want or need it to :)

My husband has been gone for 3 weeks now (job transfer) and it's been so hard on all of us. One of my kids is so upset that he won't even speak to Daddy when he calls every night :( The youngest just repeats, "You come home now!"

Just a few more weeks and school will be out, then we'll all be together again. I'm sure it'll be the same for you and your family - just a bit longer and all will be right again.

shiningonme where will you be selling? Maybe it isn't as grim as you fear?

One thing to check on==is codes. You said they converted the garage---BUT in some areas if they did not get permits, and that area requires a garage, you or the new owner have to tear everything out, and pay for new permits and put the garage back. Please check this out. It is that way in Los Angeles County.
As to the children missing Dad, do you have a cell phone with pictures?? Or can you start a story and have the children tell you something special they did during the day, you write it down in your book, like a diary, and then share it when Dad comes home. Pictures are good, memories are good, children do learn to adapt as the National Guard that just returned today here are finding out. Try to be positive, and talk about the fun things you have done or could do. Have them draw pictures and start a scrapbook.

Hi Ladinimue-I knew it would be tough-and its hard to try and explain to young kids whats going on-all they know is daddy isnt here in person to talk to and play with. Your right-hopefully soon this will all be an unhappy memory. I guess there are alot of us in t his type of situation-what with the job market being what it is, and school ending shortly. Hope it goes fast and smooth for you.

xamsx-The home I am in now is located in Pennsylvania-not too far from Hershey. I hope it isnt as bad as so many other places I have been reading about.

Marie-I will have the attorney check into that-thanks for the heads up! My husband speaks to the kids every morning beofre school, and every night before bed, and he came home to visit last weekend. I send him pics online of the kids constantly.

At this point, if all goes well with the inspection, it looks like we are talking about a May 30 closing date. I think once the kids are out of school the first week in June, I may just move the kids out there, and let the real estate agent do her thing with open houses, and a lockbox. While Im in the house, I told them I need a half hour notice for showings-to do a quick once over, and get the kids and dog out. But I did ask that we not have showings past 930 pm-because I dont have the heart to drag my kids out of bed. Once Im gone, they can show the house when they want. The agent mentioned that although it may not always appear good that the house is empty (buyers think we are desperate-)she said it could be a real benefit to people that want a quick closing...and also it makes it easier for buyers to imagine what their furniture will look like in big empty rooms as opposed to having to imagine the house with all my stuff gone.

Like so many folks on this forum I prefer an empty house. The masses may not, but here's hoping. The big negative to empty for a seller is you cannot hide the flaws. Cracked walls? Get them fixed. Banged up moldings? Paint or stain 'em. Etc., etc.

I never consider an empty house seller desperate. I figure the person is like me; able to afford the carrying costs of however many houses and unwilling to put up with the aggravation of selling while living in the house. I also take into consideration DOM. If the house has been up six months, I think a bit desperate but that would be the case empty or occupied.

Hi xamsx-When I saw this house, it was not only empty-but it was apparently unkept for a good few months-dusty, dirty, and some junk left around. We fixed up everything, and painted. The only room I didnt touch is the master that had some beautiful hand painted borders around the top of the walls and around the doors and windows. It was done so beautifully I didnt have the heart to paint over it. There is one seam on the wall in that room that has a line from the sheetrock that could use some smoothing-and the original white in there does look a bit dingy-but other then that, all the walls are smooth and perfect throughout the rest of the house as we had it all painted when we moved in.

If I leave, I will have the cleaning lady I hired come in every 2 weeks to freshen things up, and the gardener to keep up the yard. I think they are well worth the expense. I will also keep the ac set to 73-nothing worse then coming into a hot stuffy house in the summer. And I will keep my fingers and toes crossed...

shiningonme , if you have no one close you may want to pay someone to check the house periodically for things like unlocked doors and windows, plugged toilets, AC set too high or low, and a host of other little things.

Wishing you a fast sale!

OT: I know a bit about adoption, having worked with adult adoptees and birthparents for 15 years. I hear you about your 'special needs' kids. It may help to realize that ALL adoptees have special needs -- just because they *are* adoptees. Perhaps you are aware. (I am an AP and my DH is also an adoptee; all 'matching race infant adoptions' -- doesn't mean there are not still issues.) It sounds like you know what's up with this; your children will be better for it. Your family will be stronger for it.

xamsx-I would rely on the re agent for that. When I purchased this house, I hadn't sold my other home yet-she handled that sale/purchase for me as well. Even though I was only 35 minutes from the other house, she kept a close eye on things. She is pretty good like that-and its a good thing because we ran out of oil, and she let me know before the pipes froze in the dead of winter.

chisue-thanks for the good wishes. Yes, there are difficulties that adoptive families deal with that other people would never even think of. My children are not of a matching race as my husband and myself. They are biological brother and sister, both are 3/4 Samoan, and 1/4 African American (picture the wrestler/star "The Rock"-my son looks exactly like him). Their biological mother did not take care of herself during her pregnancy, and did not abstain from doing certain things that anyone who wishes to have healthy children should abstain from while pregnant. My children are paying for those choices now. But they are doing great, and we are a happy family. This is something that would be difficult for any family to have to deal with. Unfortunately, I can't explain to a child that only wants daddy that because of money issues she can't be with him. But-we will be together sooner then I thought if this inspection comes through ok. It will be next Saturday-so basically I am keeping my fingers crossed that whatever should happen will be the best thing for us. Whether the inspection goes well-or doesnt thats the way it was meant to be.

On a good note, the 30 year fixed mortgage that we went for on this house is coming with a 5 and a 1/4 percent interest rate-and we are paying 3 points. I am really happy about that.

According to my agent my current house should be put on the market at 239,000 based on neighborhood comps-and if no nibble in 2 weeks, take the price down to 234,000, and keep taking it down till it sells.

My vote: START at $234,000, don't drop to there.

Im with you talley sue. I just found out I cant put my house on the market for another 10 days or so-thats when the fha will be signed and out of the way. We were going to put it up this coming friday-which I was making myself crazy getting ready for. Well-at least I have another few days to make everything shiny and pretty. 234,000 it will be-with the hopes of an offer of at least 225,000...

I was so nervous laying out the whole story here. I really thought I was going to get alot of "are you crazy? with this market your carrying 2 mortgages?" (which is what I have been getting from a very close friend-and which didn't help the situation at all)Thank you all so much for really listening to why-and for understanding and giving priceless advice.

We had two mortgages for a month. We actually had a "bridge loan" where we made an interest-only payment that covered the mortgage on our old house and the one on our new house. We'd made an offer on the new house before our old house sold. Like you, we found the perfect house for us and didn't want to lose it. It wasn't ideal, but not bad either. You might check into this kind of financing so you can move into the new house before your old one sells. In our case, that saved our sanity as it was getting tough to live in a house that was on the market. (We have two teenagers and pets.)

Think positive until you have a real reason not to. Good luck!

I just wanted to say, I think you're smart to grab the new house.

And I bet you get a fast sale. From what you say about what's available in your nabe, yours is a good deal.

Nothing much to add, but I just wanted to wish you good luck. I think you're doing the right thing for everyone involved, especially your kids.

Hi terrig-Thats similar to what we are doing. We took out a bridge loan and a mortgage for the new house. Things will be tight for us until we sell this one-but we can manage. Right now we are paying rent out where my husband is that will end when we take over the new house-so basically we arent talking about that much more compared to what its costing us now. I just wish I wasnt so nervous about the sale of the current home.It will definitely be easier for us not to have to be here while the agent handles selling it-between the 2 little ones, our 2 cats, and our dog, it will be rough while Im here showing the house-I have to get the kids and the dog out every time I expect someone to come-and I only requested a half hour notice before showings, so I cant imagine what it will be like when I put my kids in for baths and get that phone call....

Talley sue-Thanks for saying that-it helps alot.

ica171-thanks so much for the good wishes. I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly!