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karpet_gw

qotd 11-14-11

karpet
12 years ago

Wow, can't believe we are half way through November! So here is my question: When a fellow quilter asks for your opinion on their project, are you offended if they do not follow your advice?

There have been multiple times where I am undecided about what my next step is on a quilt and if I ask my family members what they think and why they think that, they are offended if I don't do their suggestion. I always thought that asking someone for their opinion was to give you other options you may not have thought of, but it did not obligate you to use it. My family says that if you are not going to follow their suggestion then it was pointless to ask. (Is this a man -vs- woman thing?) What do you think?

Karlene

Comments (14)

  • toolgranny
    12 years ago

    I value opinions of a few special quilters I know and would usually use their ideas if possible. But, I would never ask a non-quilter other than "do you like these colors?" or something very broad. They don't understand the issues involved and why you might have to go in a different direction from what they suggest.

  • geezerfolks_SharonG_FL
    12 years ago

    I'm not offended at all!!!! And when I ask, I'm usually undecided about something and want another opinion. Many times I talk things over with DH. Sometimes I like what he says and other times I don't. When I don't follow through with his thought, it's ok. Non 'artists' don't get it.

    SharonG/FL

  • grammyp
    12 years ago

    I'm not offended at all, either. When you ask several people for their opinions, you can't use all of them. I consider all the input, then make my quilt my way. Sometimes I combine ideas, sometimes I don't use any of them.

    When someone asks my opinion, I figure it is one of many and they can use the ones they like.

    One exception may be if the recipient is the person offering the advice. I may be more inclined to use at least part of their ideas.

    beverly

  • K8Orlando
    12 years ago

    I'm not offended and I love hearing lots of different advice. I would never feel obligated to use the advice someone gave me (unless it was my boss!) and would never feel offended if they didn't use mine. We consider lots of things, then make our own choices - that seems right to me.

    I do understand what you are talking about though because my mother was firmly in the 'take my advice or never ask again' camp! My poor SIL was on the receiving end of her wrath WAY too often.

    Kate

  • msmeow
    12 years ago

    No, I'm not offended, either! Though like Kate, there are certain people you learn not to ask!

    Donna

  • bozogardener
    12 years ago

    I can see how people would get their feelings hurt if I don't do what they want. I usually only ask DH, and he understands that it is "my" quilt. A lot of the time a suggestion will send me down a different path altogether. I don't do the specific thing, but it inspired me to something else that I hadn't thought of.

  • calliope
    12 years ago

    I sometimes ask other quilters their opinions, and it's because they might have some knowledge I don't. Do those people get offended? Hasn't happened yet. If their advice was unsolicited, they haven't a leg to stand on if I don't follow it, anyway. LOL. Usually that advice is simply a personal preference like yellow thread instead of white. That's just a 'taste' issue.

    I'm not so sure other than when posted here another quilter has ever asked my advice. Laughing again. Maybe I should be offended? One has, and I never followed through to see if she took it or not.

    As to being irritated if someone doesn't follow advice I'd give? Seldom, unless they are in that special catagory of people who double-bind themselves by following one stupid act after another and always ask everybody'd advice and ignoring it. It's more about bringing attention to themselves then and getting sympathy and honey, they need more help than anyone can give them who doesn't charge money to do it as a profession.

  • teresa_nc7
    12 years ago

    a. I'm not offended if a quilter does not take my advice, even when she asked for the advice.

    b. I would never ask a non-quilter person for advice about a quilt I was making or planning to make.

    Teresa

  • nanajayne
    12 years ago

    I am never offend if my advice or opinion isn't followed, just pleased that they might feel I had something to offer that would help them find a solution they would be satisfied to use.
    I appreciate input that is sincerely given but don't feel obligated to use everything that is offered. I feel that opinions and advice are meant to broaden your knowledge not to claim your ideas.

  • mary_c_gw
    12 years ago

    I really don't have quilter friends, except for one. She does ask occasionally if I like her color choices. I pretty much always do like them, and my only suggestions have been on the order of adding another light fabric - she loves all the medium to dark tones.

    Does she follow my advice - sometimes. Do I care? Not a bit! It's her quilt and I don't have to live with it, even though I sometimes do the quilting for her.

    Do I ask opinions of others for my quilts? Usually not. When I do, it's more of a "Do I have enough contrast here?" sort of question. I will ask DH occasionally, but never my non-quilter friends. DH does have an artistic bent, so he's able to give good advice. But still, it remains MY quilt, not a joint endeavor.

  • murphy_zone7
    12 years ago

    I would never be offended if someone didn't take my advice. After all it is only advice or opinion....not a request for a rule or command. I am kinda flattered to think that someone thinks my opinion/advice would be valuable to them.
    I usually ask for advice on a project if it involves skills that I don't think I have or looks to be a more complicated pattern than I have done before. I do ask my sister for color opinions though...she has a great eye for color combinations.

  • magothyrivergirl
    12 years ago

    The Retreat was the perfect place for advice and opinions from talented quilters whose remarks I value!
    I am using 4 'tidbits' on 4 different quilts from 4 different people! Other than this forum, I will sometimes ask DH, who has zero artistic genes, but he will see something I've missed or haven't thought about, and I find his comments are usually right on.

    I am never offended if someone doesn't use my opinion or advice. If it is a quilter, the idea / opinion may show up in another project.

    Family members are the easiest to get their feelings hurt because they are family~LOL.

  • karpet
    Original Author
    12 years ago

    Thanks so much everyone! I am like most of you, and have always thought if someone asked my opinion that they were looking at other ideas/options, but would pick the one that suits them and their purposes best. I've never thought of asking for an opinion as being 'indebted' to use it.

    As you can probably tell, a certain family member, who will remain unnamed, gets quite put out if I ask for input and then do not use it. I do tend to see the world a little differently, so I wasn't sure if my understanding of getting an opinion was held by others, or if the certain family member's (Whom I love very much!) understanding was more widely accepted.

    I do not have any in-the-flesh quilters that I can bounce ideas off of, so I do ask those around me because I have several family members who are quite creative. I tend to over-coordinate my colors too much, so as I try to get better at using contrast colors in quilts, it has been helpful to get other points of view - mainly in regard to what fabrics from my stash to use.

  • rosajoe_gw
    12 years ago

    At first I thought I don't ask for opinions other than this forum of quilters.

    Then I realized I really do lol!!! I took a block I was working on to lunch yesterday and asked my 3 sisters and mother what they thought of the block.

    If I am making the quilt for a particular person I ask for their advise and try to follow it. Some of my fam thinks I am a little too 'wild' with my choices lol!!!!

    Other than that no, and I am never offended if someone offers suggestions but that doesn't always mean I will follow it!
    Rosa

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