First of all, you sound like a good neighbor. Your neighbor also sounds like an honest, reasonable person. Good neighbors work these things out.

Tell him that you wanted to split the cost of a fence that both of you liked. But since he decided the type of fence, arranged everything, hired a contractor, and proceeded solo, no hard feelings, but that you would like to do the same. You understand that he is building his own fence, and you still intend to build your own fence. Each neighbor will pay for their own fence. You do not need to offer anything other than yourself as a good neighbor!

Now the part to figure out is whether you two neighbors actually need a space between fences for maintenance room. Offer to allow him to build the fence along the property line if you can install your fence directly to his. No maintenance necessary. Or agree to each give up one foot so there is a small strip to walk between.

Maintenance room is not a right of property ownership. Setbacks usually do not apply to fences. An easement would be clearly indicated on the plot plan. Where I live a nice lot with a yard is 50' x 100' People build fences against fences all the time. I find it funny that someone would expect their neighbor to want a few feet of clearance between the fences. We're lucky enough to not have our houses sharing common walls.

Installing against his fence is something I hadn't thought of. Sorry for sounding dense, but how would that work exactly? From what I understand, he's doing 4x4 posts and a 2x4 flipped on it's side between the two 4x4's at the top, all even at the top. All fence boards vertical underneath the 2x4. One side of the fence boards would be flat and "nice", the other side would have the horizontal support board mid way down. So, are you thinking he puts the "bad" side facing us, then we can attach our boards to the bad side of the fence? I'm thinking this won't really get me a different style of fence though as I am now stuck with 4x4 posts, and not being able to have posts sit taller than the fence.

I am thinking that is not quite what you mean though, so if you can expand on your idea, I'd greatly appreciate it. My mind is a bit frazzled as of late with the new house, unpacking, no show appliances and being pregnant! LOL

You're correct in that we have no setbacks or easements for fences here. The rule is just to make sure it's not past the property line onto any city owned land (in our case the street side of our corner lot). Other than that, whatever you agree to with your neighbour.

I definitely don't want a large gap between the fences, I would rather we had just come up with something acceptable for the both of us in the first place. I just see a problem if he decides to put it 2 inches onto his property, I am now out of luck for where my posts go as I now have to offset them from his, which means pre-done fence panels are out. Limiting my options I guess. And if my fence is a completely separate fence, I can't stain the other side of my boards is my fence is only several inches away from his. Your option of building against his fence is likely to resolve this once I fully understand that. I don't think anyone does that here so can't say I've ever seen it.

If I did suggest a foot on each side (which I am hoping not to have to do) then he has to move his sprinklers, else he is just watering his fence for 60' and I'm sure he won't want to endure the cost of moving those since he just had them put in.

And thanks so much for the reply. Different perspective and ideas are very helpful in my frazzled state. :)

Out here most folks dont build their fencing right on the property line, but hold it back 6" or so unless an agreement is made where you split the costs, or if one foots the bill, it is agreed that the neighbor can tie into the new fence. Legally by putting it dead on to the property line, the fence becomes the property of both homeowners regardless of who paid. Sacraficing even a foot or two of property typically keeps the peace unless there is reason you want yours right on or very close to the line.

If he puts it back 6 inches, it will be on top of his underground sprinklers. Also if we end up with a one foot gap between the fences, it may cause water issues for us in the spring as it will surely fill with the snow over our long winter and we won't be able to get between to get it out. I expect this is why a gap between fences isn't common here.

Understood! The only time I've seen two different fence types running next to one another was a neighbor had an old failing cedar wood fence. The opposing neighbor wanted to replace it with a block wall and pay for it all. The neighbor with the cedar didn't want his fence tore down and replaced with block even though his fence was failing, would not have cost him a dime, would imporve his property value/lot....on and on. The guy built the block wall off the property line on his property without disturbing the old delpitated cedar fence. Strange!

I would just let the neighbor put his chosen fence up and when he comes for payment just say no, you don't even like the fence.